Of course with the good, comes the bad. Recently I wrote a piece on the 10 best Hell In A Cell matches that I’ve seen, and if you haven’t read that yet, then I suggest you go read that in your spare time and leave a comment for me. Anyways, I think this list will be a little easier than the top 10 best cell matches, simply because greatness is subjective. I caught some heat for not having Taker/Mankind as number 1, but I don’t stick with general consensus most times. Ah well. I’ve covered the best of the best, now here are 10 of the worst. Remember, I consider everything, including the length of the match, booking, flow, use of the cell, the whole nine yards. Before I go any further, I must mention that I have decided to lead Mankind vs. Kane from and Austin and Undertaker vs. Foley and Kane from 1998 because both matches went to a no contest. Now, for the list.
10. Hell In A Cell 2009: John Cena (C) vs. Randy Orton – WWE Championship
Cena and Orton probably knew each other like the back of each other’s hands at this point. That doesn’t mean it’s always a good thing. This match is literally every Orton/Cena match that you have ever seen. Actually, some of the spots from this match was repeated in their second HIAC match last year. It was dull, generic action from both sides and while the action wasn’t necessarily bad, per say, there was nothing that you wouldn’t go out of your way to see. Considering that they fought each other so many times, I was expecting something vastly different in this match, but sadly, we got none. It was nice to see Orton get a win a methodical, dastardly way, but other than that, uninspiring stuff here.
9. Hell In A Cell 2013: Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan – WWE Championship
After Randy Orton cashed in his MITB contract on Daniel Bryan at Summerslam that year, they would proceed to main event three shows in a row. The first one, at Night of Champions, ended with the referee counting fast and giving Daniel Bryan the belt, only to have it taken away from him the next night. Then, at Battleground, everyone’s favorite 450 pound crybaby comes out and knocks out everyone, having the match end in no contest. So, needless to say, fans were getting screwed over with the finishes and with the buy rates being pathetic for both shows, they needed a great pay off for Bryan and Orton inside Hell In A Cell. Now, Shawn Michaels was placed as the special guest referee to “guarantee a winner with no controversial finish”, because, you know, instead of a regular referee, they chose the guy who nearly cost the Undertaker his Hell In A Cell match the year prior. As we all know, logic never applies in WWE. This match was literally every Orton/Bryan match you’ve ever seen. Aside from the spot with all of the chairs and Daniel launching himself to Orton on the steel, nothing memorable will be found here. However, this gets the spot because of the finish. Now, obviously, with HBK being the referee, a 3rd grader could have predicted Shawn would screw Daniel, because that’s what always happens. However, you’d think WWE would know not to do the obvious and switch it up. But no, they do everybody in the crowd predicted and a collective sigh of frustration permeated through the arena as Orton won back the title. Match was average, but not enough of the cell was used, and that finish. Man, that finish.
8. Hell In A Cell 2010: Randy Orton (C) vs. Sheamus – WWE Championship
Man, Orton’s having a rough night. So for those of you who think Orton and Sheamus haven’t wrestled each other enough this year, don’t forget about their 2010 encounter. They faced off at Summerslam in 2010 and did the same five years later. Orton took the belt off of Sheamus at Night of Champions and Sheamus wanted his property back. However, it goes without saying that the chemistry between Orton and Sheamus was never there. It certainly isn’t there now as well. This match had very sparing use of the cell around them, with the best portion being the use of the steel steps in the finish. This was literally every Orton/Sheamus match that you have ever seen. They just happened to be surrounded by a cage around them.
7. Bad Blood 2003: Triple H (C) vs. Kevin Nash – World Heavyweight Championship
While the action in the first three matches on this list I mentioned had decent action, this was just flat out boring. I won’t bother making a Kevin Nash quad joke here, but I just could not get into this match at all. It was like I was waiting all match for it to get to the interesting portion, but it never came. Not to mention that Foley’s inclusion into the match only served to put over Triple H ONCE AGAIN. Fine, there was a lot of blood and lots of hardcore stuff involved, but I just felt as though that this was all forced and nothing organic. For some perspective, on the same show, Chris Jericho faced Goldberg and they had a better match than this one, and it went for half the time. You don’t need to give a match a lot of time to make it feel like a main event. This was just too slow and methodical for me. Not to mention that Kevin Nash was really working on empty here in regards to his legs, so this type of match wasn’t ideal for him. By the way, who told WWE a Triple H/Kevin Nash feud would be what’s best for business? Am I missing something here?
6. Hell In A Cell 2009: CM Punk (C) vs. The Undertaker – World Heavyweight Championship
It was rumored that during CM Punk’s world title reign in 2009, he sort of got full of himself and was criticized, especially by the Undertaker for not dressing and acting in a professional manner. Punk then proceeded to point out that John Cena, who was WWE Champion at the time, got to dress and act casually, and that was essentially the straw that broke Undertaker’s back. When you consider how great their WrestleMania match was in 2013, you’d think they had more. As one of the 3 shortest Hell In A Cell matches, this one featured little energy and was basically an extended squash. Sure, you had Punk working over the leg for a while, but there was so much potential this match had and it went to waste. The finish came so abruptly and Punk didn’t even get his chance to get to unleash his final reserves before the finish of the match like every standard match has. The CM Punk/Jeff Hardy feud that proceeded that bout was one of my favorites, so to have CM Punk lose the belt in this fashion was simply unacceptable. By Hell In A Cell standards, this was pretty weak. Especially from the Undertaker.
5. Hell In A Cell 2013: CM Punk vs. Ryback and Paul Heyman
CM Punk and Ryback never really had any chemistry for me, and the Cell in their matches was more of a prop to me. This particular match featured Paul Heyman waiting on the top of the cell while Punk handled Ryback inside. This match just really felt rushed to me and it was as if they were going through the motions. The build-up was lousy, the competitiveness wasn’t really there, and booking this as a handicap match when you got one man outside of the cell was really optimal stupidity at its finest. This was basically a copy of their match at Hell In A Cell the year before, and just felt unoriginal. The spot with Heyman and Punk at the top of the cell to end their match was a neat visual, but its a shame that was the best portion of this feud and nothing within the match.
4. Hell In A Cell 2011: Randy Orton vs. Mark Henry (C) – World Heavyweight Championship
So imagine that this is Triple H/Kevin Nash at Bad Blood all over again. Only this time, Orton is Triple H, and that Nash is Henry. Only thing is that this match had an even slower pace to it. I loved Mark Henry’s most heel run in 2011 and I don’t understand why WWE chose to stray away from this. Nonetheless, I believe that Hell In A Cell aren’t fit for two types of wrestlers; small, technical wrestlers and large powerhouses. In the latter case, as seen here, this was just basically Henry tossing Orton around like a rag doll while gingerly walking throughout the ring. Then you pair Henry with a guy like Orton, who really likes to take his time, and no one would blame you if you were to doze off at various moments in the match. The cage was used decently, but not enough to drive the point home of Hell In A Cell.
3. Hell In A Cell 2012: CM Punk (C) vs. Ryback – WWE Championship
Remember what I said about CM Punk and Ryback not having any chemistry? I meant it. I ranked this match higher on the list because of the finish to the match. Before we get there, though, this was a very, VERY basic monster babyface against heel style of match. Ryback used his power to dominate and Punk tried to get the better of Ryback through a series of small-scale attacks. However, there was nothing remotely barbaric about it, the formula was very basic and it went on too shortly. However, the finish. Oh, that finish. Referee Brad Maddox got involved by low blowing Ryback and Punk rolled him up. I should mention that this was indeed a Hell In A Cell match. Now, we all know the reason why this happened. Punk couldn’t beat Ryback fairly in a one on one encounter so they needed some way to protect both men without Punk losing the belt. Considering the match that proceeded the finish, though, the fans deserved something much better. At least let the match go on a bit longer. The best we got was a kendo stick and a fire extinguisher. Hell In A Cell 2012 wasn’t particularly a good show and needed a great match to save it, and this flopped. Big time. Not to mention that Ryback never gained anything from the feud and would turn heel for some odd reason next year which led him into obscurity for the next year and a half.
2. Hell In A Cell 2010: Kane (C) vs. Undertaker – World Heavyweight Championship
Kane and Undertaker had a trio of PPV matches, similar to Daniel Bryan and Randy Orton in 2013, and at around similar times as well. However, this trio of Kane/Undertaker matches were rather awful. I advise you especially not to watch their Buried Alive match at Bragging Rights. Sticking with this match though, it had the pace of two old men at the retirement home fighting over who will get the last bowl of creamed spinach. It was just punch, kick, punch, steel steps and their basic stock moves. If you want a little bit of what I mean, watch Undertaker’s match with Steve Austin at Backlash 2002. Oh, and the finish. Don’t you just love stupid finishes? So get this. Undertaker has Kane on his shoulders for the Tombstone Piledriver, but Undertaker’s pyro and lights come on and they just stand there awkwardly as if they didn’t know what was going on. Then, Paul Bearer has the urn and stands there awkwardly for a while and he uses the flashlight that’s in the urn to blind Undertaker. Then Kane gets the urn, Undertaker stands there like a zombie, Kane strikes him with the Urn, and that’s it. Not sure who in the WWE creative meetings thought a Kane/Undertaker feud in 2010 could bear anything good, but it’s safe to say that their plans blew up in their face majorly. If you think this was bad though, then you’ll enjoy their Night of Champions match and Bragging Rights match.
1. Wrestlemania 15: Big Bossman vs. Undertaker
So this was an easy one for me. For a man that has been in the most Hell In A Cell matches and had two of the best of all time (Shawn Michaels and Mankind), he really had some stinkers too. The story was that Undertaker was stalking Vince McMahon and threatening his daughter Stephanie back when she was considered innocent. This led to a feud between the Ministry and the Corporation, where Vince sent the Boss Man to take care of things. The finish is a part of why I have this at number 1, but this was probably the most boring Hell In A Cell match ever. I mean, it was just boring beyond compare. It was as if they were just having a regular brawl and they just so happened to be inside the Hell In A Cell structure. Short and dull. Now the finish of Bossman being hung in the middle of the ring was rather disturbing and something that I did not need to see. It was the Attitude Era so of course they were willing to push the envelope, but in a squash match inside Hell In A Cell at WrestleMania, that was something that was just not needed at all. Maybe don’t have an Undertaker/Boss Man match.
Agree? Disagree? Let me know. Until next time.
