Neville (C) def. Austin Aries – WWE Cruiserweight Championship
This was indeed the match that I was anticipating going on first to get the crowd warmed up. Because this was on the pre-show, and this, along with the Andre The Giant Memorial was the only confirmed matches for the pre-show, so I wanted this to get the time it needed. These two had similar styles, and I was really looking forward to this bout. Despite this being on the pre-show, I think it was still important, for the sake of the Cruiserweight division, that this match delivered to the extent that it could because it would bring legitimacy and credibility to the division. Both men were extremely precise in the ring and hit their moves with an excellent crispness. Now, I had picked Austin to win this match simply because of the frequency WWE had changed hands for the Cruiserweight Championship, but Neville is doing the best work of his career, so I definitely understand rewarding him with a WrestleMania victory. I loved the slight storytelling with the orbital eye socket Austin had injured coming into play to end the match. A perfectly solid outing to begin the night. ***1/2
Mojo Rawley Wins The Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal
So yeah, I don’t know about this. I’m sure everyone and their mother picked Braun Strowman to win the Battle Royal. I suppose for the sake of not being too predictable they went in a different route, but goodness, Mojo? They couldn’t give it to Sami, Harper, Ziggler or any other serviceable superstar? No offense to Mojo, cause I’m sure he’s a nice guy and he’s very energetic and enthusiastic. However, I can’t see the benefit in giving Mojo the win. It appeared as though they were going to have him feud with Ziggler, but what will be in store for him afterward? Surely, there must be. I just don’t think it was good booking at all. Considering the final 3 was Jinder, himself and the hairy Sanity guy, it also didn’t feel big either. It would have felt bigger if he had eliminated a bigger name like Braun or Henry or Big Show, so the moment didn’t feel special at all. I don’t usually rate battle royals because they’re kind of hard to rate, but I’ll just rate it on my enjoyment factor, and I didn’t enjoy myself at all. So yeah, this was a stinker and a waste of time for me, especially considering how unlikely it will be that Mojo will get something worthwhile to do. DUD
Dean Ambrose (C) def. Baron Corbin – Intercontinental Championship
A very wise call placing this on the pre-show. This match had little heat to it, and I don’t blame the fans for being dead for the majority of the match. The booking going towards this match was lackluster, and no one had a reason to care who would win. I was zoning in and out of the match simply because it didn’t get me into it at all. Just as I was sure of Braun winning the Battle Royal, I would have bet my life savings Baron would have taken the title off of Dean, even if it was on the pre-show. I’m not mad that Dean retained, but I am still nonetheless baffled at the end result. I just don’t see the reasoning for having Dean retain because there really isn’t anything left for him to do. They’ll probably have Baron win at the next Smackdown PPV, but I thought they set a precedent with Baron winning the Battle Royal last year. Anyways, the match was ok, and the finish was creative, but I was bored for the majority of it. **
AJ Styles def. Shane McMahon
Now that was crazy. A part of me got scared some rain or a thunderstorm might have passed through, but that still didn’t take away from what we saw. Shane McMahon proved tonight that he’s one crazy SOB, even at the advanced age of 47. He did what Brock couldn’t, and that’s not landing on his head after a 450 splash. The man is also freaking 47 years old, and he’s still taking crazy bumps to this day. That and coupled with the amazing counters to AJ’s moves, as well as his top rope dive onto the announcer’s table. Meanwhile, AJ made him look like a million bucks and hit his signature moves in a great way as well. Hell, he damn near made Shane look like some HBK/Bret Hart hybrid with some of those submission spots. I think the match was greatly paced throughout, and it reached great climaxes. I thought it was sort of early in the show to have a ref bump, but who cares. That match was fun.
AJ Styles should have beaten Jericho at WrestleMania last year, but didn’t get the nod, so this was a make-up for that moment, and he actually had a better WrestleMania showing this go around. I was very worried coming into the match that Shane wouldn’t hold up his end of the bargain in the ring, but fortunately, he played his role well, and the two combined to have a fantastic outing on WWE’s biggest stage. So kudos to all involved, and this was a great start for the night. ****
Kevin Owens def. Chris Jericho (C) – United States Championship
This had me reminiscing a lot of Chris Jericho’s match with Shawn Michaels at WrestleMania 19. Only this time, Kevin Owens was in Chris Jericho’s position and Jericho was in HBK’s position. I was calling this match to be the one that would steal the show simply because it had the most emotion built up into it. I thought the match went back and forth in a very good way, and it still astonishes me how someone as old as Jericho is still able to perform at the rate that he’s able to. I think that both of their offenses also compliment each other and it was the cause for some great reversals.
Their styles augmented each other, and the storytelling was very good throughout. I don’t think the winner of this match was in every serious jeopardy, but it was still a competitive affair that lived up to the expectations that the build for the feud brought. I think the finish was sort of abrupt and out of nowhere and I would have liked a better finishing sequence, but it didn’t change the action much. This was KO’s WrestleMania moment, and it came in a great bout. Props to the incomparable Y2J for another splendid performance and putting over the next generation. ***3/4
Bayley (C) def. Sasha Banks, Charlotte and Nia Jax – RAW Women’s Championship (Elimination Fatal Four Way Match)
My expectations were sky high for this match once it became elimination style. Bayley, Sasha and Charlotte I thought would have sufficed enough to make this match something worthwhile. However, I must say that I am left very underwhelmed. The eliminations to Nia Jax and Sasha came far to abruptly, and the ending sequence between Bayley and Charlotte left me very overwhelmed. Last year’s match between Charlotte, Sasha and Becky had proper pacing, match time, storytelling and all of that good stuff. This really had none of that.
I thought the match was heading in a good direction when Charlotte, Sasha and Bayley teamed up Nia like I figured they would, and I liked that they kept Nia strong by having all there pile on top of her just to eliminate her. Sasha’s elimination was what I was disappointed in. She barely got in any offense, and one exposed turnbuckle was enough to take her out for good and this is a woman that went 30 minutes plus OT in an Iron Man match. I also thought it should have been her and Bayley to decide everything, but I suppose that was done to save up the anticipation for the eventual feud that’s coming between those two. So I suppose they’ll occupy Sasha with something else. Finally, with Charlotte and Bayley, Charlotte did her stuff, and Bayley did her stuff, but we’ve seen these two so much better in past matches, and I thought they could have done much better here.
Also, the top rope elbow finish, which I suppose was a reference to Bayley’s idol, Randy Savage. But the finish just came flat to me like everything else. There were some cool moments and good spots, but ultimately, I was left with just “meh”. This wasn’t a match that featured the four best women from the RAW brand if you ask me. This should be a message to Smackdown’s women to see if they can usurp them on WWE’s biggest stage. **1/4
The Hardy Boyz def. Enzo and Cass, Cesaro and Sheamus and Gallows and Anderson (C) – RAW Tag Team Championship (Fatal Four Way Ladder Match)
So, yeah. Wow. Like, wow. When The New Day came out, my heart skipped so many rhythms. Because I knew it was coming. In whatever fashion, we knew it was coming, and dammit they came. THE HARDY BOYZ FREAKING CAME BACK. I was trembling, even more so than I did when the Dudleyz came back two years ago. I was remembering reminiscing the series of matches Edge and Christian, The Hardyz and The Dudleyz had, and wondered if these three would do something similar. However, the Hardyz coming back changed the entire game.
Now, time for the actual match. It was good for a ladder match at WrestleMania. They did the typical chaos spots, and The Hardyz amplified it with the moves that they usually do. I still can’t believe that Jeff is able to do that type of stuff at his advanced age. I thought overall, the four teams had tremendous chemistry and a had a great outing, and all of the moments where each team nearly had it was also exciting as well. However, the shock factor of The Hardyz returning as well as the action in the ring makes this another great outing on this card. ****
John Cena and Nikki Bella def. The Miz and Maryse
So yeah, we all know why this match was really taking place. Like I said in my predictions piece, it wasn’t a matter of if Cena will have his hand raised in victory. It’s if he will ask for Nikki’s hand in marriage, and he did it. It didn’t tug on the heart strings like Macho Man and Miss Elizabeth gave, but I suppose it was a good moment, albeit a tad long.
This match was pretty much Smackdown quality. The Miz dominates Cena for the majority of the match, The Miz messes up once, and then the match is over. It really wasn’t a match that I will remember, and not a match I’d want to see again. But hey, The Miz and Maryse’s wardrobe was pretty cool, I guess. I think The Miz was done dirty here throughout the entire feud, but props to him for continuing to be a professional in his capacity. *3/4
Seth Rollins def. Triple H
I really hope that you don’t let the crowd reaction for most of the match distract you from what was a tremendous bout between these two. I was really hoping Balor and Joe would be involved in the match because I believed they could have been featured on the card, but we got what we got. Bottom line here is that the story of the entire evening was going to be how Seth Rollins would fear with his bad knee, and Triple H worked over it beautifully throughout the entire match. Through chair shots, announcer table’s spots and submissions, Triple H slowly but surely wore out the knee of Rollins and Rollins did a good job of selling it as well. Seth clearly wasn’t able to do some of the moves that he usually does, but I liked that he was able to push through that obstacle and still pull off moves such as the Phoenix Splash and even his Pedigree.
I was really afraid that this match wasn’t going to live up to expectations because I thought the emphasis would be placed too much on Rollins’ knee, but fortunately, that didn’t hinder the quality of the match. I don’t blame the crowd for being dead until the ending sequence due to the fact that they have been sitting and standing in their seats for about 5 hours so, you can’t blame them for having been exhausted. However, I wasn’t hindered by that and I focused on what I saw in the ring. What I saw was a great brawl, very solid and methodical storytelling.
For all the talk of Triple H’s ego, and we sure saw it with his entrance, just remember he has put over Chris Benoit, Batista, John Cena, Daniel Bryan, Roman Reigns and now Seth Rollins at WrestleMaina. A star of his caliber putting over that much talent shows how much he loves the company and perhaps his head isn’t as big as people make it out to be. At the end of the day, this was a fantastic match in spite of anything the crowd did. I enjoyed myself here. ****1/4
Randy Orton def. Bray Wyatt (C) – WWE Championship
I am an Orton mark through and through, and I was rooting for him to win the match, though the sympathetic side of me really felt Wyatt was due for a WrestleMania win after losing to Cena, Undertaker and being buried by Cena and Rocky at WrestleMania last year. This match frustrated the hell out of me. Orton has all of the tools it takes to be the next Mr. WrestleMania. He has the looks, the pedigree, and the ring presence. It just seems that he lacks the motivation. All that being said, Orton and Wyatt have no chemistry together. Let’s just call it what it is. They have not meshed together in the ring well when they’ve fought together. They had a snoozefest of a main event at No Mercy, and this match was far more crappy.
The whole maggots and all of that which appeared in the ring periodically would have worked for a promo. But in a WWE Championship match at WrestleMania, it just looked like a lot of drama and looked plain cartoony at numerous points. That’s, however, peanuts to the lackadaisical performance in the ring. I mean, I barely qualify that as a match because it seemingly went by so quickly. Sure, they hit their finishers on the outside, and Orton sold a little bit, but this just felt like two men fighting in the ring with no purpose or substance and I was highly disappointed. I really thought this had match of the night potential if the two fought hard and gave it effort. However, this was nothing short of abysmal. To top it off, there is now no payoff for Wyatt’s gimmick and this loss sets him back a great deal, because we officially cannot take him seriously. He won the WWE Title which was a long time coming, but when it came to the big stage, WWE puts him under the grave yet again to a man who didn’t need the victory.
All in all, this was bad. And I feel like I’m being overtly generous here. *
Brock Lesnar def. Goldberg (C) – Universal Championship
Never thought I’d give somebody as much credit for working a five-minute match at WrestleMania than I have Goldberg. Goldberg certainly earned his check making that long walk down the ramp and from his locker room. When the match started, I was fully expecting Lesnar to not allow Goldberg to get any offense, and it sure seemed that way with the German suplexes. My heart skipped a couple of beats when Goldberg hit four spears and a jackhammer. Lesnar couldn’t kick out of two spears and a jackhammer at Survivor Series, so a part of me really felt Goldberg could have won again, but Super Lesnar awoke.
This wasn’t a squash like I was fearing it would, and even though it was brief, what we got was a tremendous physical bout between two monsters. This is probably the end of Goldberg’s run in WWE, and I don’t know if there’s much for him to do if he were to return. If this was his last showing, though, I liked his run back. He was never one to have great matches for an extended period of time, so I didn’t mind the short squashes. He came back for the fans, he beat Lesnar, won more gold, and enjoyed himself. So I can’t fault him for that. The right man won in the end, however. While I can’t rate this match high because it was short, for what we got, it surpassed my expectations, so it did have that. Sometimes, less is more, and I think this was the short rush of adrenaline the crowd needed. It was quick, physical and had great near-falls. They accomplished everything they needed to in about 5 minutes, so kudos. Now, the only question is how many PPV’s does Lesnar defend the title on. ***
Naomi def. Alexa Bliss (C), Becky Lynch, Carmella, Natayla and Mickie James – Smackdown Women’s Championship (Six-Pack Challenge)
We all knew Naomi was winning for obvious reasons, but I thought the SD women couldn’t have been put in a worse spot. They were essentially the cool-off, prelude to the main event of the show. The match was brief as I was expecting, but it was also sloppy. Very, very sloppy. Moves weren’t executed right, there wasn’t any real story to follow and everything was just seemingly thrown together. It was as if they were doing everything on the fly to me. It was a great moment for Naomi, but sadly, this was a disappointing outing for the women from the blue brand and thought they should have done better. However, they were also victims of bad timing in my opinion. Fortunately for them, the women from RAW didn’t deliver like I thought they could, so it’s not like they showed them up or anything. *
Roman Reigns def. The Undertaker – No Holds Barred
So much to digest from this. Before I get to the match, I’ll start by saying that Undertaker’s career is unrivaled. He’s done so much for this industry and so much for WrestleMania, it won’t feel the same without him. The ending practically assured us that WrestleMania 33 was his final night wrestling in a WWE ring. To be honest, I thought he should have gone away after last year’s WrestleMania, but his body is probably damaged, broken, and he should spend the rest of his life with his family and picking up the pieces healing himself after this. Now, let’s get to the match.
I won’t mince words here. That was one big, steaming pile of garbage. Just, complete crap. I didn’t see a proper sendoff for the Deadman. What I saw were two old men that looked like they had no chemistry. I saw botched move after botched move. I saw a battered old man in the Undertaker, and a man who looked like a fish out of water in Roman Reigns. There was no story-telling to this at all. You could say that Undertaker sending Roman out of the ring twice set the tone, but far from it. The moves weren’t crisp. The match wasn’t precise. The bout was brutal, and the crowd looked visibly disturbed watching it. But what takes the cake for me? Roman Reigns attempting to do the Tombstone reversal spot. He botched as clear as day. Not just once, but twice. That was a mere microcosm of what the night was like. HBK went out with a bang. Flair went out with…well, Flair. And what did Undertaker get? Arguably his worst WrestleMania match. That is why I have said time and time again, that Cena would have fared far better in this position than Roman ever would have.
This was supposed to be some sort of symbolic passing of the torch? This was supposed to be what makes Roman the next Big Dog? Are you kidding me? Normally, I’m not so cynical, but considering the circumstances and all involved, this was a very, very SAD showing by all involved. If this proves to be The Deadman’s swan song, and I have no reason to doubt it, then this was one sorry way to go. The crowd was so disinterested and disgusted at the match they couldn’t even be bothered to send Roman away in a chorus of boos. Rather, they just stood there in silence trying to digest the trainwreck they just witnessed. Thanks for the memories Deadman, but some matches are better left unwatched, and this match can go straight to the graveyard along with your career. DUD
Conclusion:
This is so frustrating. I really thought this night was headed in the right direction, but after around the halfway point this show took a nosedive. Both world title matches weren’t all that good, both women’s matches were disappointing and Roman/Undertaker was an abomination. On the bright side, the opening two matches had great energy, and I thought Triple H and Rollins delivered a solid outing. We also had the return of the Hardys, and that was one WrestleMania moment we won’t forget anytime soon. To be honest, I am not really sure if the good outweighed the bad. The good was good, but nothing spectacular that I’d watch over and over again and the bad was REALLY bad.
I wouldn’t be caught dead watching this show in its entirety, because not only was approximately a third of a full day’s length of time, some of the big matches really disappointed me. But again, looking at how I reviewed the show, four were at least four stars, and that’s nothing shabby. Then again, we also had a DUD and another poor outing in the WWE Title match. At the very best, I can’t give this show higher than a thumbs in the middle, because this was really a show where you could have viewed it as half-full or half-empty. I enjoyed myself for some parts, but absolutely hated other parts. So this is a thumbs firmly in the middle for WrestleMania 33. What was your take on it? Let me know. Until next time.
