Wrestling News and Forum- eWrestlingNews.com - Blogs - johnnydropkicks http://www.ewrestlingnews.com/community/blog.php?7352-johnnydropkicks Wrestling News and Discussion - eWrestlingNews.com Community en Wed, 22 May 2013 22:35:16 GMT vBulletin 10 http://www.ewrestlingnews.com/community/images/misc/rss.jpg Wrestling News and Forum- eWrestlingNews.com - Blogs - johnnydropkicks http://www.ewrestlingnews.com/community/blog.php?7352-johnnydropkicks Bizarro SmackDown #1!!! http://www.ewrestlingnews.com/community/entry.php?41369-Bizarro-SmackDown-1!!! Sun, 08 Apr 2012 02:21:01 GMT You know I didn't know what to title this blog. I had a few come to mind. Originally, "A Story about Storytelling". Then "The Good, the Bad, and the Just Plain Ugly". But I've decided on a title as mixed up as SD! was this week. Which is partly what's given me the urge to blog all over everything again. And I just gotta. Had to.

But first, something that's irked me.

You know, lately since Brock is back, I've been hearing from people harping on wrestling for being "so and so", or put a different way for being what it is or for not being what it's not.

Quote Originally Posted by UFC is the best
Oh come on guys wrestling is [F-word deleted]
It pisses me off because you're not informing anyone here. People know. Quiet down. Do you watch movies? Do you like them? Fact: Movies are so and so. If you watch movies then it makes you a hypocrite. Now, there are some people who don't know wrestling is so and so. And the harpies love to tell them. Makes me wonder do they go up to classes of little kids and scream "SANTA ISN'T REAL!!!" (but he is kids, he's wrestling in WWE right now under the alias Daniel Bryan) It's annoying. More than wrestling being "so and so" can be considered lame, telling people that wrestling is at every chance you get is lame. but enough about them they suck

The main reason I wrote this blog though... was SmackDown this week was a roller coaster. It started off great but ultimately had flaws that held it back. It had some good and it had some bad, too.

Let's start off with the good. And that's the match between Kane and Randy Orton. This match was awesome. It is everything that wrestling should be. It's why we watch wrestling, or at least why I watch wrestling. The match was a brilliant example of something central to prowrestling, something needed to make it shine. Storytelling.

First, you need the characters. On one side, you have the charming hero, or in this case anti-hero, in a guy that's pretty much on everyone's list of likes, Randy Orton. And on the the other side, you have the dark and scary villain, one that everyone respects, Kane.

Once you have the characters you need the adventure, you need to start actually telling the story. The adventure of the story was brilliantly laid out with an awesome match that had ups and downs and twist turns and was physical start to finish. It had everything from melee outside the ring, to a ddt on the ramp, to someone going over the announce table, to chairs littering the mat, to exposed turnbuckles. This was a rematch from WM and it sure felt like one. There was bad blood between the combatants, signified by how physical it got so quickly, and it made the whole match feel personal. The two combatants on the screen wanted to beat each other into submission, completely silence their opposition. What else would you expect from your hero and villain?

As the match raged on you had your classic moments of archetype. Each fighter traded periods of offense, with the dark and sinister Kane taking Randy Orton outside the ring to no-man's land to wear him down. And then we see the hero triumphantly fight back time and again, and take the fight to the enemy on his own turf. We see the villain start to resort to dubious methods, as Kane exposes the turnbuckle and throws half a dozen chairs into the ring to work their evil on our hero. And as things start to look bad for our hero, he comes back yet again and we watch the villain's own evil machinations turn on him and cause him to fall leaving our hero to seize the opportunity. And then we watch our hero ultimately come out of the match victorious, winning the day and all the glory.

A great story.

Now, for those who have been watching wrestling for a while, they can probably play out that match without having watched it the minute I said "exposed turnbuckle". And yeah, maybe things can be a little played out from time to time, I guess, if that's how you want to look at it. But remember that you want to. I think we in the IWC especially, when we're always bantering, and analyzing, and just plain discussing shit, forget how you're supposed to look at it. You're not supposed to look at wrestling like a hobby or a sport, with stats and numbers and references every fucking place. And you never were, really. You're supposed to look at it like a movie. And when it's at its best, that's what it goes like too.

And Orton again with this match puts himself in my mind as one of the best. Oh sure he might not have the technical abilities of a Jericho, Punk or Del Rio. But he has the subtle things, the important things, like the flow of a match, like a good sell, like improvising smoothly and just working well with your opponent, down pat.

So that was the good, now the bad.

Why oh why did the WWE have Bryan come out and practically disown the "YES!" chant, while simultaneously getting rid of one of the best ring escorts he's had? Not only did the whole abusing boyfriend thing work in his favour, add to his heel character, make him look cool, and also make for good comedy, but AJ is so small that having her on his side made him look fucking bigger. At 5'10 he's average height for man, but with his head being a bit big and considering he's surrounded by giants he can often look smaller. Her being there at his matches was a nice little reminder that he's not that short.

And I know it's early in this new storyline, but why even dick with it at all? Is the WWE trying to keep YES! but not Bryan? Or is it the start of something bigger? A face turn? But in the other case how annoying would it be for them to try and capitalize off of this but not him with it? But the flip side is it makes things really interesting for next week. Well that's the bad.

Now the ugly. Though this might be an unpopular opinion based on what I'm reading from people.

RYBACK! DUN DUN DUN... or whatever I don't even remember his music. I was watching and immediately I think "that's a stupid name". And then I see who it is! It's Skip Sheffield! He's Ryback now! Ryback. Ryback. Nope, saying it again doesn't make it sound any better. Ryback. Who here really likes... Ryback. *JAZZ HANDS* So they give him some new music for his return that took ages, and a new singlet to go along with it. Cause we know how cool they make you look right? Swagger, Big Show, Angle early years, Cole yeah I went there. Not just any singlet though. Could have gone for a simple black one that said "I mean fucking business." No no they got one that looks like they had it done by the dude who made the paint job on the Gravedigger monster truck.

So what do they have RYBACK! do when he comes back with his Rob-van-dam-inspired one-piece? They have him squash somebody! Why couldn't they have just had him come back as Sheffield? Drop the Skip and that's all? How many times have people compared him to Goldberg? Sheffield is right there with it! Some nice black trunks or hell, even his bull ones, just have him called SHEFFIELD. I mean it's two syllables just like everything else! And then have him squash people! And then... maybe when Wrestlemania 29 comes around, Goldberg can make a return to take on his imposter. And what is with the dance thing he's doing? Seriously. The crowd on SD! seemed dead by the match's finish. And he didn't help with his little dance that he kept doing. Well now that he's Ryback I guess he's gonna be. But I still say he should have just been called SHEFFIELD. The WM 29 match with GOLDBERG, if they were really serious about this guy's push would've wrote itself.

Honourable mention: Damien Sandow had the best debut promo of any new face I can remember in like... ever. It inspired me to look at some of his FCW work which I never pay attention to. And I leave you with some of that. Thanks for reading.

]]> johnnydropkicks http://www.ewrestlingnews.com/community/entry.php?41369-Bizarro-SmackDown-1!!! Will the real Chris Jericho please stand up? http://www.ewrestlingnews.com/community/entry.php?39089-Will-the-real-Chris-Jericho-please-stand-up Mon, 26 Sep 2011 21:41:26 GMT You know I'm gonna fire off a quick rant because I'm sick of seeing this. Chris Jericho and Austin and others talking about people stealing their stuff.

Quote Originally Posted by Everything is Jericho
“There seems to be a lack of respect for the forefathers who came in and did it first and it's not just [CM] Punk, it's a whole litany of guys from Miz to Cody Rhodes to Mason Ryan to Sin Cara to Kelly Kelly, everybody is stealing moves, looks, ideas. Brian Pillman​ once told me if you want to make it in wrestling you have to do something that nobody has done before and nobody is doing that and they are coming off as second rate copies of Chris Jericho and that's maybe why these guys aren't striking and I watch it and think, "Seriously, again?"

"A couple of years ago you had 'Miz 4, John Cena 0", where did that come from? Conspiracy Theory, where did that come from? Best in the World, where did that come from? Wearing suits, talking slow, using big words, using certain moves, you know Miz used the word "troglodyte" a few weeks ago and I'm like seriously? If there ever was a word associated with Chris Jericho that would be it. These guys have to start thinking of their own stuff and some times I see some of them and I'm like oh come on. It's not like it's influenced. At least give credit where credit is due.”
Really, Jericho? Really? One word means Miz is ripping you off? Come on, now. There seems to be this huge backlash by all the Rock's "boys from the Attitude Era" that people are stealing their stuff. I thought we were supposed to be supporting the struggling new generation not dragging them through the mud. The same people who sucked all the oxygen out of the room for the new guys.

Best in the World I can kind of understand. Kind of. It's not a total ripoff but it is close enough. But even then, Jericho can't lay any claim to being the best in the world if he ain't around. So if Jericho is gone then why can't Punk say he is the best in the world? But don't get me wrong I do understand that one. Austin ain't around. So what's wrong with Orton using his turnbuckle pose once in a while? You're gonna lay claim to something as basic as throwing two arms in the air? fuck that.

So that's character and style stuff. That's somewhat understandable. If you're there. If you're not, shut up. But now let's talk about moves, which is what causes most of this hoopla.

So let me get this straight. Punk does a double-underhook back-breaker and he's ripping Jericho off? One backbreaker, really? What's he supposed to do? Not do one because Jericho does it? What's he supposed to do then? A hurricanrana? Who is he ripping off now? It's ridiculous.

If I wrestle in the ring, I need moves to wrestle with. I can't ply my damn trade without my damn tools. I'm not supposed to use anyone else's so what am I supposed to do? Just punch people? Hmm who does that sound like? Then everyone gets mad at you for not actually wrestling and not having talent. Invent new moves then? What does somebody invent nowadays? How difficult is that when so much of it has been already made (and laid claim to)? Where to go from double-underhook back-breaker? Triple-underhook, behind the back back-breaker? (the third underhook comes from hooking the guy's leg with the leg you're not using for the knee) If Jericho, wizened veteran that he is, would help someone invent such a move, I bet they'd promise never to use it so they don't rip off Jericho.

And Austin is bitching at Orton for the Lou-Thesz press. Where are his angry comments at Kelly Kelly for the Lou Thesz press? Double standard maybe?

And just who the fuck is Cody ripping off? His own family? I thought that meant he could use those moves? I like seeing Cody do that "fuck you" punch where most people would do a kick. I thought it was a nice bonus for him to have that advantage, being who he is. But I guess now he's just ripping off his family. Is he ripping off Test with his finisher? Better get a new finisher, get Jericho to help you invent one.

So then if you can't invent anything these days when it has all already been invented and done, you have to give credit where it's due right? How does that go? What you want Punk to come on twitter after every show and go "big thx 2 @IAMJericho 4 using his backbreaker in the match 2nite. big help man". Do you want him to get a mic after every match and do the credits there? It's fucking ridiculous.

Why don't you stand up and take the high road, realize these guys need moves. They're just trying to do their jobs. Or if not, then don't fucking come down on Cena for having a few moves that he does over and over that really suck.

Bret Hart didn't invent the sharpshooter. Where is that in the public thoughtspace? Where is it said in the same breath as anything positive about him that "Oh you know he didn't invent the Sharpshooter, he learned it from that black dude with the plaid shirt"? It isn't said, everyone attributes the move to him. So Bret can make a dynasty out of a move he didn't invent, but Punk can't do one fucking backbreaker without Jericho saving us from him? What a load. ]]> johnnydropkicks http://www.ewrestlingnews.com/community/entry.php?39089-Will-the-real-Chris-Jericho-please-stand-up <![CDATA[Vintage "Broadcast Journalism"]]> http://www.ewrestlingnews.com/community/entry.php?17652-Vintage-quot-Broadcast-Journalism-quot Thu, 15 Sep 2011 21:56:43 GMT Y'know I've had a tirade about commentary kicking around my head for a while. Well, here it is.

Imagine a sports commentator. Imagine him in your mind, hearing him speak. Chances are you're imagining someone with a unique voice narrating the action. You're imagining that because that in essence is what sports commentating is. It's a narration of what's going on by a guy who sounds good. Some actual human dialogue set to the action for the purpose of giving it a clarity and flow, as well as a human emphasis on drama, that said action doesn't have otherwise. (ignoring the radio angle) But it can also be used to give human perspective.

So now imagine the colour commentator. do as I say damn you. The #2 man. The guy who gives thoughts, supplies humour, and breaks down what is going on and why. Together these two commentators make a complete and utterly pivotal set. Like a bass and a guitar, they work well together. They don't have to worry about getting in eachother's way like a piano and a guitar, or a guitar and harmonica; they are tried and true roles in commentating that compliment eachother and do what they do well.

And what they do is add life to any sport or event that commentating is a part of. But in "Sports Entertainment" aka. PRO WRESTLING they are even more important. Much like any MC to an event, or any anchorman to a news broadcast, more than just present and narrate what's going on they can smooth over rough spots in the program or cover up mistakes. This is because like a host or news-anchor, they have a general idea of what's going to happen beforehand, and how it's supposed to go.

That's why commentating is not just important for but crucial to pro-wrestling. Without the commentators to parlay what's going on at all times, the cracks in pro-wrestling's facade can start to show. Now you might be going "Well they do anyway". And that brings me to the point of this tirade. I think that due to WWE's desk staff horrendously fucking up their roles, they are doing WWE a disservice and the show is suffering as a result.

There are two main problems that need to be addressed. First and foremost interfering with their ability to do their job is some of the commentators "acting" (if you can call it that). The commentators trying to play a character that they've developed. And the second problem is much simpler, bad/no chemistry. There is a third problem of Booker going nuts at times, ("6 TIME 6 TIME 6 TIME 6 TIME 6 TIME") but he's fun most of the time. And he adds character.

So the acting. Mainly it's just Cole. He's the only one with a gimmicky character. But as Cole is the "VOICE OF THE DUBBLEYOO DUBBLEYOO EEE" his voice is the one heard most often and as a result, a good portion of the commentary is affected. And that's not even considering the fallout that results when the other commentators reply to his shennanigans.

More often than not now, Cole is saying some retarded heely thing or going off on a Booker tirade if Miz or the like is around, and not just doing the play by play of the match. Now, there is the fact that that opens the door for fun banter and trash-talk between the commentators. And that's good too, but not for the whole match, and most definitely not at the expense of the match. After all, at the end of the day, the WWE is still something like 90% wrestling. The product of this is that lately I find myself having trouble concentrating on the match because the commentators are just bantering back and forth. It's like eighth graders not doing the job properly or two different channels for the video and audio. While concentrating on the banter I lose focus on the wrestling and in order to give my full attention to the wrestling I have to tune them out. In this world of short attention spans, that's asking a lot of the viewer. And it's even worse when their banter or ranting causes them to miss a big spot in the match, which sometimes only gets recognized a few seconds too late by Booker going "wow how about that?!".

Another piece of the problem with Cole and his acting is that Cole is currently a heel commentator. Now that works great for a colour commentator but for a guy that's supposed to be describing the action, it is almost impossible to play both roles. As a heel he has to devalue what's going on half of the time, and as a play by play commentator you don't want to be devaluing a damn thing. That said, Cole is very good at what he does and IMO has been balancing things very well. But I do think a change is necessary. Either he needs to stop being a heel or he needs to forget about playing the heel as it comes to most of the action in-ring.

Now I'll talk about that fallout I mentioned. In a nutshell, when Cole says something stupid, and Jerry or Josh or Booker decide to take him up on it, it leads to a giant argument that sometimes will go so far that they have to disarm the situation by going "guys there is match going on". Ok so that's the first problem. The acting is getting in the way and it's got to stop or be reconfigured to a man or role that is less intrusive. So the next problem.

Right now the desk has just lost all damn chemistry. Gorilla Monsoon and Heenan, Monsoon and Lord Alfred Hayes. McMahon and Heenan. All had great chemistry. And before recently, even Cole and Jerry had functional chemistry. But now between Cole's metamorphosis into Miz's brown-noser and them throwing people together all the time with different guys dabbling in the same role at the same time all the chemistry is gone. They don't know how to play off eachother and they more often just make fun of eachother. This is true for every desk from the RAW desk, to the SmackDown desk, to both SuperStars desks. It's stupid and they need some chemistry. So how to fix this crappy situation on commentary?

Firstly I think it was a great idea to bring JR back because he calls the damn match. JR brings energy to the match and that's what you want when pro-wrestling is failing to impress like it used to so much so that they need to bring in a guy like Sin Cara. JR comes off like he cares about what's going on. Maybe he doesn't believe in what goes on in the ring, but he believes in supplying good commentary for it. And that's important. After all if the commentators don't believe in what's going on in the ring how are we supposed to? If wrestling is failing to engage the audience these days, part of the problem is the failure of the commentators to add that extra something to it. May as well watch the show from a seat in the stands, but without the energy of the crowd and arena.

JR could take over play by play completely and Cole can be the heenan. I don't know exactly where this leaves Jerry but at least it's still better than it is. But this will never happen because Cole is a good commentator and when he's not going too far and screwing things up he can show he is very good at what he does. On top of that Vince likes him, and sees him as "the voice", so he isn't going to any supporting role. And I must confess that I prefer Cole's more contemporary voice to JR and used to dislike JR. It's only because of JR's reduced role that his "isms" don't become too much. So it has to be Cole. Cole has to change.

Josh needs to be better. People unanimously seem to like Josh and lately I wonder why. The guy doesn't seem to know what exactly he's doing at times. Just making your voice all loud and grunty when someone hits someone is not good commentary. If so, why even use English at all? Just commentate the matches with a series of grunts and noises. You'd do away with the problem of a spanish announce team. On top of that Josh seems not to know techniques by name (and that's not just him), and he needs to develop a little more resilience to and ability to work off of comments from his peers. And Book needs to tone it down. I'M TALKING BOUT TONE IT TALKING ABOUT TONE IT TONE IT TONE IT TONE IT TONE IT DOWN, COLE!

All that said, there are good things. The commentary staff is unique. When it's not screwing up the wrestling, the dynamic and tension between Cole, JR, with Jerry in the middle is fun when it works. And the same is true with the smackdown desk. And Booker is always a treat, like a biscuit dipped in gravy. Or 6 of them. 6 OF THEM 6 OF THEM 6 OF THEM 6 OF THEM 6 OF THEM... perhaps one is good enough.

Recently on Smackdown there was a match with the Great Khali. Khali is huge. He is an imposing guy. I hadn't heard his new music yet or at least didn't really notice it. (and it's good music.) This was the first time I was seeing his entrance to his new scary music. And what a sight it was. It was something straight out of any movie; the big scary villain coming out. But from the commentators? Not a peep. The whole time they were arguing about something and I don't even remember what it was. That's what's wrong in a nutshell.

I think I'll finish this with one of the most standout moments in my memory from the WWE in 2011. It's not Wrestlemania 27. It's not SummerSlam. It's from RAW. Jerry Lawler took on the Miz for the WWE title in a ladder match. The match was slow. It was boring. But I remember it like the best match ever. The reason being at the very end, a one CM Punk and commentary genius. At the finish of the match when Jerry started to climb the ladder for the title, Punk was going crazy about it and then he did this

".... ... .... ... Jerry Lawler!"

at the time I thought it was bad commentary. But now I have this memory of Jerry The King Lawler doing the impossible. Climbing the ladder against all odds winning his first WWE title after years and years. And the commentator being absolutely in shock and out of words for it. For WWE to be exiciting it's not just having the Rock back, or having guys who look good, or having guys who can wrestle. It's having a commentary team that can sell it.

It needs vintage broadcast journalism. Not Cole's kind. ]]> johnnydropkicks http://www.ewrestlingnews.com/community/entry.php?17652-Vintage-quot-Broadcast-Journalism-quot <![CDATA[I Believe the phrase was "Phony Punk"]]> http://www.ewrestlingnews.com/community/entry.php?1665-I-Believe-the-phrase-was-quot-Phony-Punk-quot Sat, 30 Jul 2011 11:48:10 GMT John Cena has sucked for a long time.

It's common knowledge that the only people still in Cenation are kids and women. Even the few guys who still rock fruity have one foot out the door and dreams of greener pastures in Chicagoland. You take a look at the biggest guys in WWE, the "go-home" guys, and that's John Cena and Randy Orton. And the difference there can be summed up pretty easily.

On Orton's side you get

"LET'S GO RANDY!"

"LET'S GO ORTON!"

Cena? Rock said it best

"LET'S GO CENA!"

"CENA SUCKS!"

Well why does Cena suck? Why do people hate him? When did they start hating him? I've been thinking about it recently and I came up with the answer that Cena always did. Cena always sucked. There was never a time when he didn't. True, there was a time when Cena wasn't hated like he is now. What was different then? Let's look at nuts and bolts as I see it. So what makes people like a wrestler? What makes a wrestler good?

There's three things a wrestler has that make people like him. Three main areas. One, mic skills. Two, ring skills. Three, a look. Let's look at Cena in each department.

First one is mic skills. This is easily Cena's strongest area. It's the reason he's so over and the reason he's lasted so long. Cena can sell a few words. But if he's so great on the mic then why can't he just convince people and win them back over with each new promo? Why don't people love him for what he does on the mic all the time? When I was thinking about it recently the answer I came up with is just simply that each promo is the same shit. He can't win people over with each new promo because there is no new promo. It's the same damn promo each time. Seriously you could take all of his stupid promos, stack them up next to eachother, and they'd all be the same with words rearranged.

Cena has mastered inflection and tone in his voice. Like the Rock, he's dramatic. Unlike the Rock, he's repetitive and cheesy. Here's an average Cena promo. Pretend I'm Cena, in a reply to Miz or someone else.

"WHOA WHOA WHOA HANG ON HANG ON HANG ON JUST A SECOND! JUST ONE SECOND! (one hang on too many). WHAT AM I HEARING?! WHAT IS THE WWE UNIVERSE HERE IN THIS BUILDING HEARING?! (we're not with you and pretending we are pisses us off. you lost your ability to speak for us if you ever had it.) YOU KNOW MIZ IF YOU SPENT HALF AS MUCH TIME COMPETING IN THIS RING AS YOU DO TALKING IN IT YOU MIGHT HAVE A TITLE AROUND YOUR(here's where he slows down and lowers his voice because it's joke time)... RATHER FEMININE... RATHER DOUGHY... RATHER WHINY WAIST. BUT YOU DONT. (now we're serious) YOU DON'T BECAUSE YOU DON'T COMPETE. (here comes the boston) AH GOT THIS TITLE CUZ AH COMPETE IN THIS RING EVRUH NIGHT. IN FRONT OF THESE PEOPLE. CUZ AH BELEIVE IN THIS AND AH BELIEVE IN THE WWE TITLE! (he pronounced that last statement like a question. he went up in pitch at the end there. he does that) I SUGGEST WE JUST STOP ALL THIS TALK AND THROW DOWN AND SETTLE IT IN A MATCH (a "match".)

It's the same shit. All he has is a talent for emoting and he says nothing new. It's the same crap and older people see through it. I don't think the Rock knew how much truth he was speaking or maybe he did. But the fact is that adult males can "see through bullshit." And each one of Cena's promos is phony. Much of Cena on the mic nowadays is just phony.

So that's mic skills. There, but lacking substance, lately, if they ever had it. So basically they're phony.

I'll leave his look for last. So his in-ring skills. Arguably his weakest area. What's right or wrong about them? Well frankly they're not there. Cena wins a million matches without fighting them. His main skills are doing a few maneuvers to end the match after he gets beaten down. Now he's not alone in this, great names in the past have followed this formula. And even the Rock is guilty of that. But Cena brings a special devotion to this crap formula.

Now, there's some people who will argue that he can wrestle, and they usually mention OVW. Now if you'll forgive me but I don't follow OVW and don't know about his matches there from years ago. And if you'll forgive me once again that I'm not gonna go take the risk to watch a bunch of Cena matches to see if he has ring skills. I'm only concerned with what I see of Cena in the WWE.

Now, there's some people who will again argue he can wrestle, and they run down his moves he does in the WWE. They usually mention some basic crap like arm drag, hip toss, dropkick. To that I say if you can count that stuff then that means that half the roster is stealing Cena's signatures. The main move he does that you don't see often is the fisherman suplex. And he botches that shit every time. Someone should tell Cena they're supposed to land on their back not right on their freakin tailbone. Jesus I cringe for his opponents.

So basically, in addition to his comeback, he's got a selection of basic moves that somehow all became signatures, in addition to a poorly done fisherman suplex. Phony.

Now, you'll notice before that when I was talking about his mic skills I omitted his rap ability. This ties in with his look so I'll talk about that now. So, his look. Now before I could go "It's a pair of jeans. It's a friggin pair of jeans." There is to be remembered that Cena's look is culturally relevant. Or at least in the last decade it was culturally relevant. In the early and mid of the last decade, hip-hop was on its highest peak. Cena's look was relevant. As hip-hop faded a bit, so too did Cena change his look. He dropped the bling and the jerseys and somehow picked up an army thing that he had for a while. But his real transition, his real change and most meaningful change, came when he turned into the super hero.

DUH DUH DUH! HIS MOMENTUM IS MORE POWERFUL THAN A LOCOMOTIVE! HIS COMEBACKS HAPPEN FASTER THAN SPEEDING BULLET! RIGHT TO YOUR HEAD VIEWER! HE'S ABLE TO BURY ALL WRESTLERS IN A SINGLE SLAM!

Yeah. Cena became personified by the rainbow, a credo, and children everywhere loved him. And then he was unstoppable. And the kids loved him for being unstoppable. And the adults threw up. Batman, one of the most successful superheros, and perhaps the single most relevant to the older audience, has bad days. He isn't perfect. He has inner turmoil and he's just like you and me. He gets by on his determination and his wit. Not Cena. Cena gets by on his 5 moves and the love of children. So all that said. Right now that's what Cena's look is based on. Being unstoppable and being hero.

So what is his look? It's a pair of jeans. Some underpants. A pair of sneakers. He's everyman and he's the man. It's simple and unassuming. It juxtaposes his center-stage situation and his ultimate power. And maybe that was a good thing early on, however now at this point, it's boring. And also, it's so put-together and assembled. His entire look is a piece of merchandise. For a guy who wins so much he looks like a goof and that's not it, it's a goof whose goof sells by the bucket load. And comes in separate pieces all sold separately. Here kids! Goof it f'realz! Thug life! Eat your hot garbage and get big and strong like me! I'm a tough guy! That's pimping merch for the man! He was a hip-hop guy once. And this gave him a culture and an essence.

And that leads me to his rap. Rapping was a talent and something he did that was fun and gave him something. And while he did it he had something. If you're gonna be a hip hop guy then be a hip hop guy. Rap. Do something connected to the culture. Now he doesn't do it anymore. And it hurts him. He just did it recently and people we're saying he'd outdone the Rock. The Rock. People were saying that. But he came out a second time and what happened? It wasn't as good. Wasn't near as good. And I think because his rapping isn't so hot either. Or maybe it was just that he couldn't step it up and remain palatable. Either way, his rapping is phony or him trying to remain true to this new gimmick is now making his rap phony. In the end it's phony.

Now, he's a shell of a hip-hop guy that has now become his own culture and his own essence. Which is basically the top wrestler for being the top wrestler. Because when you take away the rap culture and the rapping that used to make him interesting and give him substance, but wasn't suitable for children, and you look at what is put in by his wrestling skills (non existent and phony) and his mic skills (light and phony), he doesn't have much to give him substance other than the fact he's there a lot, and he's the top guy because he's there. So basically the top guy for being the top guy. Again, phony.

His look doesn't portray character anymore it just is a caricature of the centreman. The hero. Which is packaged in a veneer of something that is losing its mainstream approval after the last decade. And that's it, it's phony.

Now I understand that Cena is still something that people enjoy and that is good otherwise he wouldn't be followed. There wouldn't be a Cenation. So let's list some positives of his in each area.

Phony mic skills. Well like I said he is dramatic and good at selling on the mic. So he does bring the main-event even if for us older fellas the main-event sucks.

Phony wrestling skills. His moves suck but they go off easy, and they go off reliably, and they have impact. Again, bringing the main-event. The shitty main-event but bringing the main-event anyway.

Phony look. Yeah. But when he shows up you can see him. Like Rock said you can see him. So again you know it's the main-event.

So he does have positives. You just can't look too hard. Or it all starts looking phony.

That's why he sucks. He's phony. And he was always. It's just the one thing that was holding him back, his hip-hop connection, that justified the bare-bones, rough gritty moves, the over the top mic skills, and the stupid look, is gone now. And now it's blatantly apparent. ]]> johnnydropkicks http://www.ewrestlingnews.com/community/entry.php?1665-I-Believe-the-phrase-was-quot-Phony-Punk-quot <![CDATA[When you beat Cristian/Orton, you know you're doing something right]]> http://www.ewrestlingnews.com/community/entry.php?1381-When-you-beat-Cristian-Orton-you-know-you-re-doing-something-right Mon, 20 Jun 2011 23:37:39 GMT Decent ppv last night. I judge a ppv mainly on how well I remember it. And I remember practically everything regarding the matches of CM Punk vs. Rey... Decent ppv last night. I judge a ppv mainly on how well I remember it. And I remember practically everything regarding the matches of CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio, Christian vs. Randy Orton, and R-Truth vs. John Cena.

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio. Now this is the CM Punk we expect. He and Rey put on the best match of the night with some unbelievable sequences. They had some pretty heavy competition to beat too, in Christian vs. Orton. But they did. If it is actually true these guys don't actually like eachother, I don't see how, given that when they step into the ring together they produce magic. Rey actually lost clean, and with his match and his promo, Punk proves once again he is without a single doubt the most complete talent the WWE has to its name. Damn good match. How much would it suck if Punk left the WWE? When he leaves people will just look at it and realize what a huge loss it is once it's not there. But if Punk does leave, this match could set up a mask vs. career feud which would be a great way to send Punk off. And if what happened at this ppv is any indication, the show the two put on will worthy the stakes.

But their competition was hot too. As per usual for them. It wasn't as good as their earlier matches , and it was a bit slower but Christian vs. Orton was fun beginning to end and had a better finish than CM Punk vs. Mysterio. These guys (christian orton) put on a great match every time they step into the squared circle together and I take nothing in WWE as seriously as those two guys and their feud right now. It's pretty awesome. I'm really excited to see what happens now on SD. Does Christian become even more heel? Does he tween now? Are they trying to tween him? It seems like the writers are actually out thinking everyone. Looks like they've abandoned completely making Orton a canonical face at the cost of some of his grittiness. And with the finish to their match it makes Christian's role as canonical heel doubtful or least a bit layered. Though I have a nagging feeling that maybe they thought Christian couldn't handle another loss, but if that's the case, it means they are thinking about this feud long-term, and damn right.

Something else doubtful is a John Cena match being fun. But this was. I enjoyed seeing Truth beat the crap out of Cena and I defy any you to call the Lie Detector stupid when you see it landed on John Cena for almost a 3. R-Truth's video promo was absolutely perfect and so was the finish to their match. Truth's face when he was taking a drink of water was absolutely golden. No doubt this feud will surely continue as Truth has done a good job of entertaining the older crowd unlike Miz, while playing a good heel to John Cena and not taking the focus or relevancy away unlike Punk. Also, it should continue cause, Truth's @#%#% awesome.



DAMN YOU LITTLE JIMMY. YOU DID IT AGAIN. DAAAAMMMMNNNNNN YOUUUUUUU. COMPANY WIDE CONSPIRACY! ]]> johnnydropkicks http://www.ewrestlingnews.com/community/entry.php?1381-When-you-beat-Cristian-Orton-you-know-you-re-doing-something-right Over The Limit True Main-event: Christian and Orton http://www.ewrestlingnews.com/community/entry.php?1265-Over-The-Limit-True-Main-event-Christian-and-Orton Mon, 23 May 2011 08:15:26 GMT Over the Limit had a strong card. Everyone knew that. That the ppv delivered in places was no surprise. However, just like the WWE at large these... Over the Limit had a strong card. Everyone knew that. That the ppv delivered in places was no surprise. However, just like the WWE at large these days, there was a let-down or two. Unfortunately, and again, just like the WWE in general these days, those let-downs might have been in bad places. For example The botch with Sin Cara vs. Chavo Guerrero to finish the match (ok not a total one but that last move wasn't so smooth, and if it was supposed to be la Mistica, it's almost a full botch if not for the recovery into whatever that was), and the main-event. (did anyone really get into that? especially the way it ended? Royal Rumble all over. Nexus is eliminating people one by one! Cena and Hornswoggle Save The Day! allll the way to.. Miz and Riley are beating up Cena! Miz uses a soundbyte! Decision gets over-turned and Cena wins in 5 seconds! Miz's penchant for resiliency in the ring has been completely 180'd! This referee is becoming the I got my head on straight referee! :rolleyes:)

That damn rolleyes smiley just doesn't get it done.

But there was one surprise last night. A damn big one. A DAMN big one. And it was that one match delivered. Not that it did really, but that it really did! And I'm sure the Christian die-hards are all patting themselves on the back going "see we told you!". Make no mistake about it playas, Christian vs. Orton became the main-event of the WWE. Don't believe me? Guess you didn't see Over The Limit. At the PPV Christian and Orton put on what is easily a 5-star match imo and did something else too. Something pretty important. They split the crowd right down the middle and had them fucking eating out of the palm of their lanky ass hands. Me too. You too. By the time I was done with that match I looked like Michael Cole did at the end of it all. Ok not really but I did eat four hot-doggies with bbq! actually two with bbq two with ketchup. not JR's bbq truth be told seeing that all over Cole is not the best ad campaign :confused:. But that pales (like my ass) in comparison to Christian vs. Orton. That was special. You see

At the start of the match there was a 50/50 chant going. Orton and Christian were surprised about it. When Christian went for the peeps to clap the peeps fucking clapped. When Orton did something cool Randy chants started. When Christian did same thing. It flowed on every move of the fucking match the whole way through. There was boos for a Christian kickout. There was boos for an Orton kickout. There were huge Christian signs. There were huge Orton signs. Everything was about what was happening with those two guys. But it wasn't just the crowd. The match was brilliant. The spots were amazing. It went down just like that match on SD but even better than that. From Orton catching Christian's Kofi-kick, to turning the outside (Christian fans forgive me if I'm missing the names I was never a fan of his I liked him ok but never a fan) punch into his ddt, to Christian then hitting it anyway, to Christian's awesome fake on the second rope.. it was all fucking awesome. That's how wrestling should be. But that's not what really makes it special. It's not that the crowd was into it, that the match was fucking awesome, that the story-telling was great, that the audience was split.

It was all these together.

Last night the fucking WWE fucking went back to 1999 at Over the Limit. Last night I saw the closest thing to The Rock vs. Austin since the fucking Rock vs. Austin. I didn't almost cry like I did when Christian won the title or when Edge retired. But you better believe I was believing in what was happening on screen. WWE just fucking upped its K/9 average, just increased its save percentage, just did whatever the hell is important in football, or the other football... or like... it didn't splash at all if we're talking about Olympic diving, or it did a quad if it's figure skating, or it totally looked really sexy if we're talking about womens pole-vault. Basically, WWE just fucking went up a peg on the whole "legitometer". Seriously.

I was never a fan of Orton. Guys like him are why I didn't watch wrestling for years since the Attitude era. close to ten. I never liked Cena when he was a rapper. Always hated the stupid spinning belt. I never liked Batista, steroid freak that he was, skipped over brock too. Don't like Michaels. But since I've been watching again I've had to admit that Orton is a great pro-wrestler. He does all the little things so well. From a good sell, to positioning himself well to the camera, to doing that and keeping up with the cameras when they change, to a little comment or face when he knows the camera is on him when he's down, to saving a slight botch by his opponent, to that new little thing he does with the belt. (And I gotta admit I've warmed up to his character lately too. He seems more ninja less "GRRR I'M RIPPLED" to me) He's very smooth. Very professional. But so is his new opponent. Christian is a pro. He totally is. He may never have had the action-hero quality like Edge did but he is an experienced wrestler and he is just as good as Orton up there. But lately I've been thinking he looks as good too.

I've been having second thoughts about Christian lately. I never really liked him. I thought he was kind of goofy. But lately it's sort of a good goofy. Maybe it's his age or something. He seems to have a bit more edge. (no pun) It's like, to me, he looks just weird enough to make you believe there's a reason he is where he is. He doesn't look like a steroid monster. Doesn't look like an action star. He looks like a fighter. If you stuck him alongside any MMA guy he'd fit right in. He oozes legitimacy. He's got that long fighter reach. (Orton is the same way. They both have the look of a fighter.) And in an age where WWE is losing people to MMA and the fact that MMA's boring, bloody, barbaric, matches are very real, that's something man. I like a lot of things about Christian's entrance. His facial expressions are awesome maybe even better than Del Rio. He's next behind him anyway. And his promo work seems to have a little more edge these days. I like his music. I like his point thing but I think he needs to loosen up a little. Seems a bit too formulaic. Don't get me wrong it's good, but why doesn't he point at the other side at least once in a while? I like his whole "getting ready for the ring" hop-and-psyche thing he does while looking at the ring. I just think he needs to watch himself doing his little 'double point on turnbuckle' in a mirror and make it look a little less funny-lookin. Seems like his points just float. Can't describe it better really but I'm not saying it's bad, just that his double point thing could be a little more effortless a little more serious. The point is, Christian to me has main-event quality.

Christian really does have the main-event quality.

He's not infallible though. Just like Orton did on SD recently, Christian looked a little dumb doing the spear, I think that's why the audience didn't get behind it. But then, might also be they thought that it was just ripping off Edge. But I'm not saying anything with that really. Just blabbing me thoughts.

Back on point. Between all of this, the entrances which are great, the experience factor, the great in-ring fit, the great fanbase split, the veteran promos, and all of it, these guys are the new main-event to me. Far and away beyond everything the WWE has right now. And last night is what did it. If I was WWE I'd just give this one away. Next week on SD or RAW instead of "From the Vault" how about "From the fucking PPV last week". Don't try to remix that shit or promo it. Just show the match. Don't do anything. These guys just made themselves the star of the fucking show. And this better keep on rolling.

IF WWE has any goddamn sense at all. I mean any. They will try not to mess this thing up. I was happy to see no Christian heel turn. That would have ruined the thing. The match was perfect including the story end. They've got a face vs. face going and it's kick ass. If that gets stale they can always turn Christian. I certainly hope they haven't penciled Orton in for moving on to other things like Rhodes or Mark Henry. If that's so they better pencil Rhodes the fuck back out because while I am a huge fan of Rhodes and he was the number one reason I watched SD (after Del Rio and before this), nothing he does touches this thing any. As for Henry. Moving Orton on to Henry after... holy shit that's all I got to say about that. Maybe Henry can be used to supply the heel role here. And Sheamus too perhaps.

These guys look great opposite eachother too which is very huge. Orton taller and darker, Christian shorter and lighter. Orton big and pointy and edgy and Christian small and confident and charismatic.

Last night Christian vs. Orton for THE FUCKING BGB became the new main event. and what a mainevent it is

He realizes it



you should too. ]]> johnnydropkicks http://www.ewrestlingnews.com/community/entry.php?1265-Over-The-Limit-True-Main-event-Christian-and-Orton Wrestlemania 27: The buyrate is in but is it good? http://www.ewrestlingnews.com/community/entry.php?1160-Wrestlemania-27-The-buyrate-is-in-but-is-it-good Sun, 01 May 2011 13:18:36 GMT Well in my last vomit onto the blogspace of this fancy looking crevice of the IWC, I talked about how I thought the main-event of WM27 should have... Well in my last vomit onto the blogspace of this fancy looking crevice of the IWC, I talked about how I thought the main-event of WM27 should have happened and expressed my misgivings about how strong the show might, or might not, have been. One of the things I said was if WWE did achieve their goal of a high buyrate thanks to The Rock, then it would mean that they showed one of their weakest Wrestlemanias to the most people. And now we know that's just what they did do.

The response to WM27 on the net has been pretty uniform in it being pretty unimpressed, with everybody pretty much saying the same thing, that the only really good match was Undertaker vs. HHH, with some people liking the Rhodes/Mysterio bout, and everyone agreeing that Punk/Orton was good while not too great. Everything else was considered a dud basically. The response of those at WM has been more positive so at least that's a plus. But none of this is any good for the ppv about to drop in Extreme Rules.

Like Conan (GINGA NINJA) on the Tonight Show, Extreme Rules didn't exactly get a great lead-in. How many of those who bought Wrestlemania are excited to buy Extreme Rules? How many of those are going to buy Extreme Rules because of Wrestlemania? I doubt it's a lot of people on either count. That said it's hard to predict with these things. More people seeing Wrestlemania might mean more come back to Extreme Rules simply because it means more to come back to Extreme Rules. Simply the sheer amount of people who tuned in for WM27 will bleed over. But I don't think that might happen. I think the ER buyrate will be low and at the least only as high as last year. And this because of Wrestlemania27. And in the face of a WM with as much hype and money thrown at it as this one that latter outcome could be looked at as a loss.

So it'll be interesting to see how ER does. The big million will be bittersweet if they lose people on other ppvs because of it. ]]> johnnydropkicks http://www.ewrestlingnews.com/community/entry.php?1160-Wrestlemania-27-The-buyrate-is-in-but-is-it-good The Rock vs Cena: Fantasy WM27 Dialogue http://www.ewrestlingnews.com/community/entry.php?1048-The-Rock-vs-Cena-Fantasy-WM27-Dialogue Sun, 10 Apr 2011 01:11:03 GMT **Note to reader: I've gotten criticism for my dialogue before so if I cause you to vomit, or bang your head on the desk, my apologies.

It's one week ago at Wrestlemania 27. It's the main-event. The Rock has just got done saying what he came out to say. Everyone is cheering for the Rock and excited at what is about to happen because it'll probably be great. Sadly, that wasn't the case. You know what happened. What followed wasn't really anything. Rock started the match just to end it again. But let's go back to that moment when Rock was in the ring. The Rock just got done saying everything he said at Wrestlemania 27. Here's what should have happened right after...

***

Rock: John Cena! Get your fruity pebbles in this ring! You too, Izzy Wizzy Miz. There is no way the Rock is letting it go down like that at his Wrestlemania. Impossible, ah-ah, not gonna happen! As the Rock said, this match will be no DQ... no CO... no BS! No shenanigans, no monkeying-around, no crap will be tolerated out of anybody's monkey ass!

*The Rock turns to John Cena*

Rock: Oh... but before we get this match restarted... there is one thing, John Cena. *Rock holds up a single digit*

Rock: There is the matter of your... Wrestlemania moment, that you've been wanting. *Rock's digit becomes a clenched fist* That you've been needing. Well the Rock is here to give it to you.

*Rock starts laying the smackdown on John Cena. Cena's in the turnbuckle! He's in a world of S**T as the Brahma Bull unleashes some serious ass whooping on Cena. Rock rockbottoms John Cena! He gets up and looks down at him, does the you can't see me thing, slaps his chest.*

*Rock picks up the mic while Miz, grinning from ear to ear, walks over to John Cena. He bends over to pick Cena up. Says 'great job' to Rock.*

*Rock reaches out and grabs Miz by the shoulder. Miz freezes and looks back at Rock*

Rock: The Rock's father... The Rock's grandfather... ARE GONNA WATCH AS THE ROCK LAYS THE SMACK DOWN ON YOUR CANDY ASS!

*All hell breaks loose on Miz. Rock starts laying the smack down. He's punching him. He's kicking him. He spinebusters Miz. Drops the People's Elbow.*

Rock: Now ring the damn bell or the Rock will find whoever rings the damn bell and ring the damn bell with their candy ass!

*The bell rings and the match begins as the Rock leaves the ring with Cena and Miz on the ground, stirring*

*Cena and Miz get up and resume their title match. Things go along just fine for a while. Things start to look bad for the Miz.*

*Alex Riley runs in and tries to interfere in the match. He starts beating on Cena.*

*Rock runs in and throws Alex Riley over the top rope and Rockbottoms him outside the ring*

*The Corre runs in and starts beating down the Rock. The Rock starts getting beaten pretty hard*

*Austin runs in and starts helping out the Rock. Together, the two of them successfully start beating back the four other guys*

*The match still going on in the ring at this point has just turned into attempts at finishers*

*Alex Riley still recovering from the Rockbottom attempts to interfere again. Cena gives Miz a hard right shot that gets him off his back for a minute. Cena sees Riley coming a mile away. He ducks under a punch and picks Riley up for the AA*

*Rock and Austin just got done with the Corre outside.*

*Cena AA's Riley over the top rope outside the ring. But Rock was standing right were Riley was landing. Cena AAd Riley right on the Rock! Rock looks up at Cena, furious. Cena looks down at Rock like he didn't know he was there. Cena makes Hey c'mon I didn't mean it gestures*

*Rock gets in the ring*

*Rock Rockbottom's Cena once again and leaves the ring*

*Miz, half-awake, goes over to Cena and picks him up. He hits the Skull Crushing Finale. Referee counts to three. Miz retains his championship.*

*Rock looks blameless. Austin looks like he cannot believe what just went down. There's calamity at the desk.*

*Miz clutches the title to himself and looks like he can't believe what just went down and that he survived much like he did against Orton before. Riley gets into the ring to help Miz to his feet and to celebrate with Miz.*

*Austin is disgusted.*

*Austin rolls into the ring.*

*He's looking right at Miz and Riley. He starts walking toward them slowly, saying stuff to them. Pointing at the title. Riley tries to attack Austin. Austin stunners him. Austin turns back to Miz.*

*Miz doesn't move an inch. Austin keeps closing the distance. Miz makes for the ropes. Austin catches him and puts a stunner on him and gives him the double bird.*

*Austin slowly turns around to the Rock who is still looking at Cena. Rock's head turns toward Austin like he does. Austin motions to Rock to get in the ring.*

*Rock, never being one to back down from a challenge or not face consequences, gets in the ring in a very enthusiastic, Rock-style fashion*

*Austin and Rock stare at each other. The tension is thick. Austin makes the gesture for beers. A couple get thrown to him. He gets the mic. He gives a beer to rock.*

Austin: Nice Wrestlemania, Rock. *beer up*

Rock: Thank you.

*The two toast and drink. They each take a turnbuckle. Crowd loses their minds. They meet back in the center of the ring to shake hands.*

*Cena gets up and spins Rock and puts the AA on him.*

*Austin can't believe what just happened. Austin goes for the stunner but Cena ducks under and turns it into the AA.*

*Cena puts the AA on Austin.*

*We end Wrestlemania with Austin and Rock with "Oh hell no" looks on their faces and set up a great RAW the next night.*

***

Well that's what should have happened in my opinion. This is what I thought should've happened the Monday morning after Wrestlemania. I feel like this was a WM with a lot going for it and yet the only thing that really was good was the match with the Undertaker and Triple H. Everything else was just average or pretty good. I feel like if the Rock and everyone returning did bring a lot of people to watch WM it's not so great for one reason. As WWE has shown one of its most uninspired Wrestlemanias to one of its biggest audiences. ]]> johnnydropkicks http://www.ewrestlingnews.com/community/entry.php?1048-The-Rock-vs-Cena-Fantasy-WM27-Dialogue