The ToughBlog : Tough Enough Week 5
by, 05-04-2011 at 07:59 PM (3079 Views)
Well hey, I'm back! Hope you all had an enjoyable and compelling Extreme Rules! (just kidding, I can hardly think of a compelling main event that involved John Cena either...). But anyways, I'm here to OFFICIALLY start my ToughBlog, an honest, and maaaaaaaaybe a little satirical look at the goings on of WWE's latest reality hit show/reboot/item that will replace the pure pile of giraffe dookie that is NXT.
And so, we open with the recap of last weeks happenings. To put it simply, Skidmark grew some balls, women are clearly inferior at jumping over ring ropes and Rima gets eliminated AND squashed by Bill DeMott in one fell swoop. Ouch.
So, imagine this. Lying in what looked to be a pretty large and luxurious bed, the glowing morning sun shining through the curtains and being woken up to the sweet sound of... Booker T incoherently yelling at you through a megaphone?! Yeah, not exactly who you were hoping to wake up next to. So, after an interesting wake up call to say the least, it turns out the contestants have to make their way to the "feeyuld" for a nice morning session of sweat and constant insults. All under the guise of a traditional obstacle challenge, of course. To be honest, it was a pretty good idea in my opinion, with the different sections of the obstacle course favoring certain contestants abilities, and in all being able to see who the best all rounder is. Swell. As was pretty obvious anyway, the main contenders Martin, Jeremiah and Luke would finish in good time, leaving the entertainment to mainly come from who would fail hardest. As expected, Eric was slow as hell and Skidmarks got shouted at a lot. But they weren't the worst of it.
Now, I ain't gonna lie. I'm not an unbiased reviewer, as are many. I hold favorites, and it just so happens that Ivelisse is one who falls under that clearly incredibly important and life changing category . But being truthful...she failed hard. Being a fan of hers (and a smidgeon sexist ), I just want to brush it off and say "Hey, she's a small girl, she's just not as strong as the others" and while that may be the case, it did make her look pretty bad, and may make you question her ability, especially after the little camera time the girls've had. Thank Little Miss USA for that one. But, little did poor Ivelisse know that carrying a bag up a hill would be the least of her problems...
So, courses finished, people gassed and finally hearts sunken. Why? It's training time, with seemingly no interval between the course and the training. I tell you, the face of disbelief on Jeremiah's face was priceless. Yet it all seemed to go away, as upon entering the gym, none other Rey Mysterio is perched on the turnbuckle, ready to talk to the contestants about teamwork. Why Rey Mysterio? Weeeeeeelll... kids like him I guess. But nonetheless, Rey gives some good pointers to the young'uns like any good vet could, whether he's the best man for teamwork or not. (I mean, Booker would surely be a better man for that right?). Equipped with Rey's words of wisdom, the contestants get ready for some hardcore teamwork training! Right?! Well, not exactly...
Lets think. What possible training regimen could be established to improve a person's teamwork skills? I mightn't know a true answer to that, but it sure as hell isn't slamming a bag. Bill telling the guys "you and the bag are now a team" sorta made me laugh. The successes and failures during this challenge practically mirrored that of the obstacle course, with Martin shining, Luke's ego growing, Ivelisse struggling and Ryan getting shouted at...again. For tripping over the ropes.I don't know what you think, but his whole thing is getting kinda old now, and I'll let you be the judge of whether I'm talking about Ryan's antics or Bill getting pissed at everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) Ryan does.
But I digress, it's now down to the real nitty gritty, or to rephrase, more training that doesn't have a lot to do with teamwork, but useful nontheless. Being the final two girls, Ivelisse and Christina go at it, and lets just say things went a little wrong. To be simple about it, Christina can't leapfrog and Ivelisse falls on her leg weird and gets a faceful of crotch as a result. Sounds hot, but ehhhhhhhhh... not so much. Ivelisse gingerly hobbles the injury off (her leg of course, not her face), as the rest soldier on, to end the day with the ominous ultimatum/reminder that only 8 will remain at the end of the week.Trish has a little word with the two remaining girls, but nothing was really worth mentioning, all I heard was Trish calling them the weaker sex... (maybe I should get that whole sexist thing sorted out. )
And so the weekly life lesson rolls around, and holy crud I can actually understand what this has to do with teamwork. Basketball! With the added novelty of dwarves! What is the need for them to be dwarves? There isn't any, but hey, apparently midgets are funny according to WWE. This was the first time I thought "Hey, this is smelling a lot like a ridiculous NXT challenge" and trust me, that is NOT good. So of course, a match shall take place, with the help of an NBA dude called John Salley. Once again being honest, I have no idea who this guy is (hey I'm not exactly the big sports guy stereotype), but apparently he's pretty darn good. Of course, with the dwarf team being professional, they kick the contestants asses, whilst all the while Booker shouts through his megaphone some more. I swear, just listening to that makes the show more entertaining, with such gems as "You diyd shee thayt charavel, dincha ref"?. That's a commentators voice right there . So with their pride stripped from them, the trainee's return to the barn...
Here it is. The final training session before the big cut. And Ryan manages to get shouted at again. But by Booker, so he probably didn't understand it, but could get the general vibe of the rant by the shirt ripping and stuff. An indication of things to come? Maybe, we'll see. But the final challenge begins, with the contestants being split into groups, forced to work with each other to achieve a good quality product, but also having to outdo each other in order to advance themselves. Once again, Martin impresses and advances over Andy and Jeremiah, which is a feat in itself considering the quality of the two. Ivelisse clocks in another dissapointing performance, but I'm just gonna say it's because of her injury (yay I'm a mark). Christina dissapointed also, even without a minor injury, leaving the girls in pretty close competition (for dramatic effect no doubt.) and leaving AJ to advance, which is downright cool with me as he's another victim of other people stealing the camera away. Aaaaaand finally.....Ryan stepped up?! That's right, Ryan managed to pull his shit together for a good performance on Luke and Eric, which as you can imagine, pissed Luke off to no end (with him heralding himself as the messiah to wrestling and all). So AJ, Ryan and Martin. Who wins? Well, the guy who's been winning for three weeks solid now, Martin. The dude's impressive and sound, but he doesn't seem to have any definable character other than being "the nice guy", since he dropped Donny Osmond anyways...
So it's finally time for the finally final cut for one more superstar. The firing line was a surprising one in some aspects to say the least. Sure enough, Christina deserved to be there for being the cause of Ivelisse's downfall this week and Ryan basically lives in that bottom three area, but Luke of course was cause for question, being a top dog throughout the competition. Apparently, he basically suffered from Matt Cross syndrome AKA not showing enough despite having the talent, which is fair enough. He didn't deserve to go, and he didn't, which is good, but it was never like he was going to go anyway, being the "alpha male" that he is. The remaining two however, either couldv'e gone in my eyes, with Christina just not showing enough in my opinion (and her obvious botch), and Ryan well... just for getting way too familiar that bottom three way to often. But seemingly, it was just too much for Ryan, three times at the bottom, three strikes and he's outta here. (another sports reference I don't know much about, what's going on?!).
But anyways, that's Tough Enough for another week. Was the result the right one? Yes, he had to go eventually. Was it a good episode? As with all of them, it had its odd moments (midgets, really?) but still enjoyable. And finally, will I stop hoping that Ivelisse doesn't leave the competition because of injury? What the heck do you think, of course not!
Hope to see you guys again readin' me blog and hope you enjoyed!