Here it is again, prediction time. This time it’s for the granddaddy of them all, Wrestlemania. Here we go!

Pre-Show
Intercontinental Championship Match
The Miz (Challenger) vs Wade Barrett (Champion)

I hate to think of the Miz with a loss here. The Miz made a stellar return last year, showing much improved pacing in the ring. Aligning with Ric Flair helped him return to form later only to brought down again by Cesaro. A win here is needed but he already beat Barrett on Raw and what would happen to Barrett?

Winner: Painfully Wade Barrett

World Heavyweight Championship Match
Jack Swagger (Challenger) vs Alberto Del Rio (Champion)

Despite the extreme amount of hype and push surrounding Jack Swagger, I don’t see him emerging as the victor in this match. The obvious reason is the possession charges that are looming for the superstar but there are a few other reasons. Triple H is trying to beef up the importance of the titles by not having them change as often and I believe it is working, a Swagger win would only hurt the title and Del Rio and do very little for Swagger. Finally, the initial excitement around the Swagger angle has faded and what is left is a very effective mouthpiece in the form of Zeb Coulter and an average performer in Swagger. The best business decision here is for Zeb to shed himself of Swagger and pick up a more effective protege.

Winner: Alberto Del Rio

Chris Jericho vs Fahndahngoh

It’s hard to recall a bigger debut with higher expectations than Fandango. The video packages for Mr. Dango started as early as December and since he has pulled, ironically, a 2012 Chris Jericho refusing, instead of speaking, performing in the ring. I hope all goes well for the dancer, his leg drop two weeks ago was absolutely marvellous. Hulk Hogan and I hope for his sake that it isn’t his finisher given Hogan’s many spinal surgeries.

Winner: FAHNDAHNGOH

Tag Team Championship Match
Zigs ‘N Bigs (Challengers) vs Team Hell No (Champions)

I expect a lot of Ziggler in-ring time especially against ole DB. Kane gets the hot tag from Bryan and then Bigs gets the hot tag from Ziggy for a big man clash. This one is a hard prediction because I believe that creative had no plan for this. They needed to do something with Ziggler and stuck him in this situation. I feel a Hell No split is coming and a six week build for their rivalry would be great but I don’t think it’s necessary for them to lose the belts for the build, at least at this time. This would help Zigglers current stagnation but that is not a new situation for the Show Off and he’ll be ok in the end.

Winner: Team Hell No

No Holds Barred
Triple H (with Shawn Michaels) vs Brock Lesnar (with Paul Heyman)

This is the ‘so predictable it’s not predictable’ Wrestlemania match of this year, the title usually relegated to the Taker streak match. From a business standpoint, this should be Brock grabbing Triple H’s shovel and burying superstars left and right but Trips himself is in the match so that ain’t happenin’. I would have Shawn, seeing the beating Brock has given and about to give Triple H further, leaps into the ring and superkicks Brock. HHH recuperates, realizes what Michaels has done, gives him the ‘WTF I didn’t want to win this way’ and have Brock take advantage for the win. This sets up a Michaels/HHH bout at WM30 they want with both men being babyfaces.

Winner: Bork Lazer

Hall of Fame Introductions

Piss break #1

Ryback vs Mark Henry

A showcase for Ryback to shell shock Henry.

Winner: Ryback

Six Man Tag
The Shield vs Randy Orton, Sheamus & Big Show

The Shield has had a lot going for them as far as momentum but the angle is getting stale. Their leader WILL be revealed at Wrestlemania. The most likely to be crowned is Randy Orton. He has been chomping at the bit for nearly a year to make his return as the ‘Apex Bro Douchebag Affliction-Shirt-Wearing Predator.’ That isn’t a knock, I LOVE me some 2007 Randy Orton and would welcome his return. There also is the possibility of Cena but don’t count on it. The WWE is known to make some surprise swerves, I could also see Sheamus making the turn as well.

Winner: The Shield via Randy Orton heel turn

The Streak Match
CM Punk vs The Undertaker

This is the first streak match that actually have people guessing. The first reason is coming from the fans saying that the Undertaker is ‘getting too old for this shit.’ I don’t think he is and I would like to see his final appearance to be at Wrestlemania 30. The biggest reason is from the CM Punk angle, he is the reigning IWC champion, is coming off from the longest WWE title reign in the last 25 years and has had three high profile losses in the last few months. However, the nail in the coffin *wink* is the rumor of his time off post Mania. Not only would the story fit for him to take time off with a loss, but the meaning of a win here would be diminished if he did also. CM Punk is already over and needs no other significant milestone in his career. It would be more effective to give to someone who isn’t over but has major potential like an El Generico. Sorry, not this year.

Winner: 21-0

Diddy Performance

Piss break #2

WWE Championship Match
John Cena (Challenger) vs The Rock (Champion)

A dull match with Cena getting the clean win. This will happen and you will feel robbed, disappointed and questioning why you still watch wrestling just like you felt after the Royal Rumble.

Winner: John Cena

WWE Championship Match In A Dream World
John Cena (Challenger) vs The Rock (Champion)

The Royal Rumble disappointment was all just a planned set up for the finish of this match all along and everything you’ve been waiting and hoping for will come true. The Rock will be cheered and Cena booed out of the stadium. These men will bring everything they have and produce one hell of a match. It will be aggressive, and visceral. John Cena will get the upper hand early with Rock making a triumphant comeback. John Cena will take an absolute beating but will not succumb to the power of the Rock. John will make, what the audience will think, his predictable comeback only to be thwarted again by the Rock. The Rock gets the 1, 2, 3. Out of sheer frustration and anger, Cena attacks the Rock, beating him with his own belt then several FUs. The refs come out to break it up. Cena picks up the belt, looks at the camera, points at the fallen Rock and mouths to the camera ‘The Champ is Here’’ and drops the belt on the Rock. Fade to black. You feel better than you have in years, you make love to your SO for hours, go to work or school, talk to your friends about it, it’s all over the news, people love wrestling again, Raw starts with a big TV14 plastered on the screen, after the being the best Raw in years you switch to the Powerball numbers being drawn and you’ve won 300 million dollars. When that came happen, then and only then will John Cena turn heel.