Originally Posted by
Darkside Ron Garvin
Why not? This may go WAY above the heads of most, but anyone who knows the series, knows where it’s coming from…
M*A*S*H
Captain Benjamin “Hawkeye” Pierce – The character that’s always know for his quick and witty comments when the opportunity arises. This character also has a darker side that reviles itself the further into the war… Much like with Robstar, the further he treks into the war room of the EWN, the more and more he has had his fill of the redundancy around him.
Major Margaret “Hotlips” Houlihan – This major hottie was known to be the only consistent face to appear in the series. She has her moments of stern discipline for her nurses, but always finds herself in quite the pickle when Major Burns is involved. Sure, this character has QUITE a lot more dialog that the character playing her part and I haven’t seen anything “stern” about her (except for the cooking conversations), but AshleyPunk is the only “consistent” females to post in the Tea Spot so she wins this position by default.
Corporal Maxwell Klinger – This Toledo, Ohio native found a sure fire way to get himself a ticket back to the States; Section 8. The crazier the act, the more random the affair, these were his tools to provide multitudes of viewers hours of comical relief. He had his moments of being serious, but when they needed a sure fire laugh, you could always bring in Klinger for that purpose. This would be were magglis fits into our world. Plus, he is the only one I could ever picture in a dress.
Father Francis Mulcahy – The wisdom of a scholar with the patience of a saint. This character helps to bring a sense of balance when all seems lost. He is what kept those grounded to where their hearts lay, and what their true desires in life are. He has the heart to speak his mind, but always has the sense to speak only what needs to be said. This would be the EWN equivalent of The Devil’s Advocate (you see what I did there?) He is always good for a great bit of comedy, but when he speaks, he always knows what he is talking about.
Colonel Sherman T Potter – He runs a tight ship, but understands the delicacies of the war surrounding him. Having fought through the trenches, he knows that war can play its subtle tricks on a man. He is able to cut through each line of bullshit with the precision he uses at the operating table. This character is closest to Bodom who manages to allow us to walk that thin line of insanity on the boards, but is always there to make sure we know which side of the line to keep our toes on…
Captain John McIntyre – One of the three bunk mates the series is focused on, “Trapper” John always has a sense of comedy that seems perfectly timed. He can play the slap stick bit, but his humor seems to go into a deeper level. He was replaced by B.J. in the later years, but Trapper John had his distinct place in Hawkeye’s heart. This would be akbar in our world. After all, he has a special place in our lead roles heart.
Captain B.J. Hunnicut – A precise surgeon who cut shrapnel out of a body as quick as he could cut down a martini, B.J. always had that sense of being distant while always seeming to be present in the unraveling plans that Hawkeye had around him. This is where I would allow B-MAC to fall. He has that comical grace that seems to follow B.J. throughout the series.
Lt. Colonel Henry Blake – The man that held the camp together, Blake was well respected by his peers. Even when he found himself in a jam, he always had his friends there to back him up; even if they blamed him for everything he was never involved in. He was an essential piece to the original part of the story, but in later years he went missing. Surprise, here we have SilverGhost sighting!
Corporal Walter Eugene “Radar” O’Reilly – This is the kid that made the series for me. He could hear choppers coming from miles out, always had his stuff in order, and even managed to have the things presented before they were asked for. The kid was one up on everyone else in his surrounding camp, and he was only 17! Destruction might not be to that age, but he always seems to be a step above the rest of us… Plus, Radar was often pleased by the approval of Potter; much like Des craves to be on Bodom’s friend list
Major Charles Emerson Winchester – This man came into the later seasons, but his refined and elegant way of life helped to bring a bit of culture to a camp containing “mouth-breathers”. His sense of humor was unmatched by any surrounding and his intellect seemed to fall upon many deaf ears around him… You guessed it; this is our very own Iron Ape.
Major Franklin (Frank) Marion Burns – This guy was all over the place! He commanded respect due to his rank, but always appeared to be a bit on the goofy side of the ball. He was beloved for his skills in the ER, but once he got around Hot lips, you could see the giddiness of a kid come out in the things he said. This is where our beloved Dennis comes into the fray. Always intriguing to watch/read, you will find more comedy surrounding the things he says (especially when Team Danish hits the scene together)
Yet another LONG ASS post, but would you expect less from the likes of me?
