JBW's official show thread

With that, Shaz throws Ano Doom over the top rope, as Shaz grabs a mic, with mixed reactions from the crowd. However, Shaz smirks before helping Juarez to his feet, before looking at Ano Doom.

Shaz: Last week, at Resurrection. I made my presence in the JBW known, as I defeated Ano Doom. All his threats, were absolute nonsense because at the end of the day- they didn't even turn out to be true.

Shaz get's cheered by the crowd as he smirks.

Shaz: And also, I defeated Ano Doom in classy fashion. I did something that some superstars in the back can't do to save their lives. I knocked Ano Doom out. I proved to the world that I am the superior one by making Ano Doom feel the wrath of the Shaz-Ma-Taz! And honestly, it felt way better than sex.

But you see, we all have those moments, where we wanna make up for losing momentum. And I will admit that I have done that on several occasions.

And tonight, I've seen that you've tried to do exactly that; trying to regain the momentum you lost at Resurrection by beating Eddie Juarez. However once again, I have permission to say that...

You. Have. Failed.

Crowd cheer at Shaz as he smirks.

Shaz: Because that is what your entire, wrestling career revolves around Doom- failure. And part of you being a failure, is another reason why I'm here in the JBW. I am here to clean out what doesn't belong in JBW, because I don't appreciate the fact that there is rubbish at Zero Gravity, and KillZone.

People seem to think that now JBW are under new management, it's suddenly been fixed, it's now fresh all of a sudden. However, it isn't. Not until I go crazy and kick your bollocks in one more time.

Crowd go insane with the cheers.

Shaz: Doom, people are too scared to speak the truth, purely based on the fact, that you are a monster. However, you're a harmless monster. You're even more harmless from Sulley and Mike from Monsters Inc! And that was shown at Resurrection, because everytime you executed a move on me, it was like getting punched by a little baby. That's how weak it was. And that is how weak, you are.

Shaz throws his mic down on Doom's head before heading to the back, as the crowd cheer him on as we head to commercial.

Pat: Welcome back to KillZone ladies & gentlemen! We’re still awaiting the arrival of Ma$$dinero, and we have a blockbuster main event as JBW Tag Team Champions Black Blooded face the team of JBW World Heavyweight Champion TheDevilsAdvocate and Tommy Thunder, that’s right, Tommy Thunder!

Dudley: Well I’m on the understanding that right now, Van Hooligan X is on his way out here! I wonder what he has to say.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2eHh4GcJMQ

*The music booms from the speakers and that can only mean 1 person is coming out. Van walks down to the ring and actually seems happy and arrogant as ever. If you didn't know any better it was like he didn't lose at the PPV. He grabs a mic and when the music stops he soaks in the boos he's been receiving since the start*

So err, how we all doing toni--Haha! Just kidding! No cares about you people!

*It's like he wants them to boo even louder.*

Much better.

Now that pleasure is out of the way, let's get down to business. If you had an attention span longer than 1 hour, you would know the result of my triple threat match.

Now, first off, I'm going to get the obvious out of the way and say I fucking stole the show. Be serious for a second people and you'll know that during that match I was fucking perfection! Untouchable at times as well! You idiots don't know what a gem of a wrestler you have in this federation. You should all be grateful that I finally decided to join this ran down joint.

Hell, I dragged your asses already when I actually won an award under this dump! You should really be bowing down to me, not boo'ing me!

*The boos intensify greatly*

But anyway, the triple threat match. The match I was destined to win my first championship already here and it was cancelled because someone shouldn't of been in the match! I'll remind you barbarians that I did not lose because I was not pinned. Therefore the most logical solution would be for me to have a 1-on-1 rematch with Desperate Divine.

*The crowd is lively tonight, they have no problem making it hard for VHX to think with so much noise*

Really? You're still boo'ing for telling you people the truth?! How dare you! May I remind you of who is in front of you.

I am The Vanity. I've done more in 1 year then people with do in a career! 2012 was the year of The Vanity! 2013 for JBW will be under my watch until I decide otherwise and all because I am far better then anyone this roster of KillZone can throw at me!

Every single 1 of your legends is either a joke or a coward and your new wrestlers are people I can wipe the floor with. So don't think for a second that you could even counter argument what I am saying.

Divine is a prime example of what this fed stands for. The Divine One? Ha! No! The Desperate Divine is more accurate!

If you're 'The Divine One' then The Vanity is God Almighty himself! HAHAHAHA--

*He pauses for a second to actually ponder the arrogant stuff he is saying and he pulls a facial expression that is like a light bulb goes off above him.*

I like the sound of that. The Vanity...God. I mean, think about it people. I'm already better then HJ, Shining Light, The Smog Monster and other religious gimmicked-to-fuck characters, I'm above you all in every way, shape and form and finally, I will be your new champion when I do get my rematch against you Chris. Then that title will be the new holy grail championship.

Amen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RUWMPd3QEg

Chris Divine walks out from the back, with his music blaring over the PA system. He is wearing baggy jeans, a collared shirt, a backwards cap, a pair of black shades, and the Intercontinental Championship rested on his shoulder. He stands at the top of the ramp, as the fans are going crazy for Divine. Chris walks down the ramp, walking around the ring once, just looking at Van in the ring. Divine goes to the steel steps, climbing to the apron. He is handed a mic, as he stands on the outside, while looking in at Van. The music fades as Divine raises the mic.

Divine: You know Van...it's funny. You rip on Divine for rehashing the same jokes, calling Divine old and unoriginal, and yet, how many times have you used the Desperate One punch line? Divine thought about coming out here, calling you Mr Roman Numeral, Hoolie, but instead, Divine wanted to come out here and talk to you man to man. See Van, you come out here, and you continually talk about your past accomplishments. Divine could go the route of Van. Divine could talk about winning the Universal Championship in HWA. About winning a hell in a cell match, but Divine doesn't, because Divine is only looking forward, not to the past. Let's humor you though Van, let's look at your past. You are a former TWE, a former HWA, and a former ICW World Champion. 2 time dual world champion. All of those accomplishments are commendable. So, look at the end of your 2012. In the remaining months, you lost your ICW World title, you joined IWA to form the Infection, which in Divines eyes is a huge flop, and you did jack shit in EWNCW. See, you aren't coming into 2013 with momentum. You are coming in 2013 full steam ahead ready to plow people over. You are coming into 2013, limping along. Evidence? Look in EWNCW and JBW so far. At EWNCW's Bred for Combat, you lost to Kyojin.

A massive Kyojin chant breaks out now

At Resurrection you weren't pinned, but you didn't win. Now, Divine knows some are going to knock Divine for how he won, but Divine says from the bottom of his heart, he didn't know of Gillz. Matter of fact, who in the blazing blue hell is Gillz? Some fish? Divine doesn't know. All Divine did, was what every single champion, whether you are a good guy, a bad guy, a sucky guy

Divine looks directly at Van

Or a lucky guy

Divine does a double take, look at Van again, and then back around at the fans

Divine: Divine did what anyone else would do. Now, Van, as Divine was saying, 2013 hasn't been a good start for the Vane One. You see, your not just Vane...no no no no...you are uber Vane! Referring to yourself as God. Divine doesn't delve into religion, simply because Divine doesn't care if you believe in Jesus, Buddha, Muhammad, Krishna, or Allah, all that matter is when Divine asks the billions...

Fans: And billions

Divine: Of Divine's fans what they are thinking, they all respond in one voice.

The fans now start chanting Divine over and over, to a smirk from Divine.

Divine: So go on Van, call yourself God, call yourself Luther, call yourself Mark, call yourself Suzie...Divine doesn't care what the hell you call yourself, but you will never....and Divine means ever...call yourself the Intercontinental Champion.

Divine climbs into the ring finally, looking at Van, standing across from him.

Divine: Now, you bring up a point, you deserve a 1 on 1 rematch with the Divine One, The Oh So Fine One, The One of a Kind One, The Drop Yo Ass On A Dime One, The Only One, JBW's new Favorite Son, Chris...So Fine...Divine. Does Divine think you deserve a chance to go 1 on 1 with Divine? No...Does Divine want to go 1 on 1 with Vanessa Holly X? Oh hell yeah!

The fans explode

Divine: Divine wants the chance to get his hands on you, Divine wants the chance to put you down on your face, and pin you in that ring, to once and all prove Divine is better than you. See, you don't have the Clique to fight your wars for you. You don't have Infection here to save your ass. You are all by yourself Van. So yeah...Divine wants to go 1 on 1 with you. Before you get wet in your pants with excitement though, Divine must say this. Divine is just a wrestler. You, are just a wrestler. We do not call the shots. So...if you can convince the powers that be, to give you that shot, Divine will gladly beat you from here to timbuck too, and still walk out the Intercontinental Champion. But...you still have to do some convincing, so ta ta for now.

Divine drops his mic, as Divine goes to leave, but is grabbed by Van, as Van spins Divine around. The two men are in each other’s faces but Van smirks and backs out of the ring. He walks away up the ramp as Divine holds the Intercontinental Championship up high, and we head to commercial.

Dave King is shown standing in the carpark. sharply dressed in a black suit, with a black shirt and tie to match. He has a frustrated look on his face, and it is clear that he is anxiously awaiting his good friends arrival, as he is looking at his Cartier watch.

Dave King: Maaan, where the fuck is this a$$ho-

Dave stops himself short as he sees a state of the art tour bus pull into the car park, and head in his direction.

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_vsfjMbpU4d...00/tourbus.jpg

After stopping about ten feet away from Dave, the door electronically opens, and out steps Ma$$Dinero with a smirk on his face. Dressed in a pair of dark denim Moschino jeans, a pair of black and gold Reebok Classics, and a black t-shirt with the words "JUCK FABE" emblazoned across the chest area, he is looking at the screen of his Galaxy Note II.

Ma$$Dinero: Yep. There I am.

Pat: There he is, folks. That right there is heat incarnate!

Dudley: This guy used to be the most unlikable guy, Pat, but how is these days, I almost feel the urge to say 'we're not worthy!"

Ma$$: Ha! Damn right you're not worthy, Dudley, you arse licking toad.

Ma$$ then turns his head, and with a serious look on his face, he walks over to Dave.

Ma$$: Yeah, I've been watching the show on my phone, Dave, an' I just heard what you called me, you melt.

Ma$$ gives Dave a playful punch to the shoulder.

Dave: Ouch! Not so hard, man! This is my mic arm!

Ma$$: Booya, dead-arm for lack of originality, cuntchops!

Dave rubs his arm for a second or two, before a slightly puzzled look comes across his face.

Dave: Hey, you're looking a bit casual, and, like, where's Ma$$' Ma$$e$, man?

Ma$$: Firstly, this place is a dump these days, so, like, yeah.. When in Rome, and all that, and secondly, I don't need them cramping our style, Dave.

Dave: Our style?

Ma$$: Yep. That's right, Dave, from this point on, every step you and I take around here will be considered a part of the ongoing series named... Yep, you guessed it, bruv, it's the return of..

The Ongoing Adventures Of Ma$$ and Dave: The Heel Edition

Ma$$ looks directly into the camera, and smiles.

Ma$$: That's right, folks. This piss poor attempt at a show has been highjacked in the name of entertainment, and with the aim of bringing the level of class up around here a couple of hundred notches. For those that aren't aware, my name is Ma$$Di-fucking-nero, and this is my good buddy, and manager, and general gopher, Dave King. We have returned to JBW to once again show the world how it's done. We're here to devastate, educate, innovate, penetrate the layer cake, find a xBOMBxSHELLx and procreate, but most of all... Just like the great Roddy Piper once said.. We're here to kick arse, and chew bubblegum..

Dave: And we're all out of bubblegum.

Ma$$: Come on, Dave, let's go fuck shit up and introduce these new bods around here to the glass ceiling.

A security guard opens a nearby door, and Ma$$ and Dave walk into the arena, where they find themselves in a corridor.

Ma$$: Just like old times, Dave. Y'know, before we got hooked up with those career killers, Leggo and Sa- oops, I mean St George and Psycho, as in completely and utterly fucking Psychotic, Siaki. Anyway, have you got those notes about what's on our agenda that I told you to write down?

Dave: Yup.

Ma$$: OK, run me through them. I kinda got my smoke on on the way here.

Dave: Right, step one is we're going to walk around backstage for a little bit, and terrorize the new neighbors a little.

Ma$$: Heh. Sounds like something I'd suggest.

Dave: Step two is to go and find someone, or -as you asked me to put in- someones, and let them know who the actual boss is around here.

Ma$$: Told, Dave. Told you to put in.

Dave pauses for a moment.

Dave: Hmm, anyway, step three was to go and find some friendly faces.

Ma$$: What?! Haha. I must have been buzzing when I told you to write that. Change step three to find some familiar faces. I heard Shuri' is still hanging around this dump, and, man would I love to bump into that fool. I owe him big time.

Dave: Because he beat you at BITW I: Kingdom Come? You know, that show that was done by that guy who used to run this place? The show that's apparently off limits to even mention, lest some sensitive nerd get his knickers in a twist and starts posting his stupid opinions on a message board? That show that no one can't stop taking about?

Ma$$: Yep. That show that made me more money from one match than I made in an entire year in JBW. Anyway, fuck that guy. Fuck that place. Fuck that match--I live for the moment, and that match is just a distant memory now.

Dave: Do you think it'll get match of the year?

Ma$$: If it does it'll be an amazing accomplishment, just imagine how many folk want to top that one, eh? Heh. Anyway, what's step fo- whoa, wait a minute, look who it is.

The camera swings to show Alex Kidd, who is seen leaving a locker room marked Van Hooligan X. He is shaking his head and laughing at the last thing that Van had said to him before the door closed.

Suddenly Ma$$ springs onto the screen and unleashes a knock out punch to the visiting Alex Kidd who hits the floor with a thud. Ma$$ and Dave stand over him and smirk.

Dave: My.

Ma$$: Friend.

Dave: Went.

Ma$$: To.

Dave: London.

Ma$$: And.

Dave: All.

Ma$$: I.

Dave: Got.

Ma$$: Was.

Dave: A.

Ma$$: Blood.

Dave: Stained.

Ma$$: T.

Dave: Shirt.

Ma$$: Or, in other words, you just got knocked the fuck out, bitch! Come on, Dave, let's get with the getting. The.. Stink of "Indy" around here is.. making.. it.. hard.. to..*coughs* breathe.

Ma$$ and Dave walk off laughing, but Ma$$ suddenly stops, and turns around. He heads over to VHX's locker room. Without knocking, he opens the door, pokes his head through and says.

"Oi, JobberBot, you're mate out here just took a little tumble."

With that, Ma$$ walks off and joins Dave, and they continue down the corridor. As the camera follows Ma$$, Van is seen coming out of his locker room, and rushing over to his fallen friend.

Ma$$: Soooo, what say we go find a few more fuckfaces to fuck with. This time maybe someone who is actually on the roster, and not some Indy wanker angling for a job. By the way, what was step four?

Dave: let me see.. OK, step four is our last step of the night, and you'll be c-

Ma$$: Oh, shit, look who's over there, Dave--I haven't seen this guy in a while.

Dave: El oh el, it's Lenny Lightning! But, who's that he's talking to?

Ma$$: How the fuck would I know? Call him over, Dave.

Dave: Hey, Lenny, can we have a quick word?

Lenny Lightning looks over his shoulder, and smiles.

Lenny: Oh my God, it's Ma$$Dinero!

With that, Lenny walks over to Ma$$ and Dave.

Lenny: It's great to see you gu-

Ma$$: Yeah, yeah, alright, calm down, bruv. All I wanna know is, who's that fella you're talking to over there?

Lenny: That's not a fella, that's a woman, Ma$$! Her name's Athena.

Ma$$: Cheers, Lenny.

BOOM

Ma$$ punches Lenny Lighting in the jaw, knocking him out clean, and walks over to Athena.

Athena: Hey, what's the big idea?

Athena takes a swing at Ma$$ with a heavy looking punch,but Ma$$ ducks, and retaliates with a heavy punch of his own and knocks her to the floor.

Ma$$: Holy shit! Di-did she just take a swing at me?!

Dave: Way to punch a woman in the face, Ma$$.

Ma$$: What? All I was gonna do is ask for her number, and she got all manly on me for no reason.

Ma$$ looks down at Athena and shakes his head.

Ma$$: Shit, I think we better get out of here, Dave. Come on, let's go and see Eddie or something, because I can see myself getting into trouble for hitting a xBOMBxSHELLx .

The pair walk off as a backstage attendant rushes to Athenas aid.

Ma$$: Anyway, Dave, where were we? Oh yeah, step fou-

????: JUST WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE COMING BACK HERE THINKING YOU OWN THE PLACE?!

The camera swings to reveal Seth Thirteen, who is carrying a light tube.

Ma$$: What the fuck?! Bruv, I will fuck you up without asking your name the next time you open your mouth.

Seth: MAN, FUCK YOU, DO YOU THINK I'M SCARED OF PAIN?!

Seth then smashes the light tube over his own head, to show how tough he is.

Half a second later Ma$$' fist connects with Seth's jaw, and knocks him out.

Ma$$: Come on, Dave,this is getting out of hand, let's get out of here. I kinda don't wanna be here when these two come around.

Ma$$ and Dave walk off, and continue down the corridor until the come to an open area. Here we can see a lot of backstage staff rushing around, making sure things are running smoothly. In the corner of the area, a group of JBW superstars are seen lining up outside of a door.

Ma$$: There we go, that looks like the bosses office.

The pair walk over towards the line, and cut past them all. Ma$$ then boots in the door to what is apparently JBW head of talent relations, No_1eddiefans, office. Both Ma$$ and Dave then storm in to a chorus of objection from the wrestlers who had been waiting patiently outside. Two seconds later, Ma$$ comes back out dragging new JBW xBOMBxSHELLx Champion Faith LeFleur by the wrist.

Ma$$: Now, you be a good girl and wait out here. The big boys need to have a few words with the powers that be.

Ma$$ then goes back into Eddies office, and slams the door shut. The wrestlers outside begin to cause a huge stir, and Faith begins pounding on the door. After a minute or two, Ma$$ and Dave walk out of Eddies office, and are surrounded by the group of wrestlers, including Mr Smyth, Divine, and DrunkJose. Barging through them all, Ma$$ takes a few steps past them, then swiftly spins around.

Ma$$: Come on, Dave, leave these muggy wankers be. They're clearly in a hurry to suck up to the boss in hopes of getting that all important push, so let's not hold them up anymore, bruv.

DrunkJose: Yor juzt a hazbin Ma$£… No 1 givez a fcuk what you sa-

BOOM

DrunkJose is knocked by a mean looking right hook.

Ma$$: Nice one, Dave!!! Hahaha, that showed that stupid fucking dipsomaniac!

Ma$$ turns to the rest of the group.

As for the rest of you arsewipes, I'm going to the ring. If I was you lot, I'd pay attention to what I'm gonna say.

Ma$$ and Dave walk away from the gobsmacked group of JBW wrestlers.

Ma$$: Right, Dave. Fuck step three and four, we're going to the ring right now to cut ourselves a little promo, and let everyone know why we're really back in JBW.

After five or so paces, Dave quickly runs back to the fallen DrunkJose, and begins stomping hard on his chest.

Ma$$ looks back and sees his good friend putting the boots in. Laughing, he casually walks over to the scene, grabs Dave by the back of the collar, and drags him away.

Ma$$: Heh, come on, Dave, leave him be, he's had more than enough embarrassment for one day.

Dave: Embarrassment?

Ma$$: Yes, Dave, embarrassment. One day that poor kid's gonna sober up and realize that he got his arse handed to him by Dave fooking King! Oh, the shame of it!

Dave: Yeah, well, if we're gonna be in TerrorMode, I definitely want to get my turn at laying down some smack on these jabronis!

Ma$$: Haha, as I live and breath, Dave has just turned into The Rock! Well, just make sure you don't get too above your station--I won't be able to save your arse against everybody, so just be careful about who you pick your fights with, bruv.

Dave: What, like you just did?

Ma$$: Sorry?!

Dave: I wasn't the one who went into Eddies office and started letting my new boss who "the real daddy is around here", was I?

Ma$$: Heh, yeah, I guess you're right, but don't tell me you wasn't living vicariously through me when I smashed my fist down on his desk and told him he was, is, and always will be nothing but a lackey. First it was the twins from hell, a-

Dave: Cousins. Cousins from hell.

Ma$$: Interrupt me again and die, Dave.. Anyway, now he's just trying to ride someone elses coat tails. If he's really such a fucking wonderfully creative genius then why doesn't he go and make his own eFed instead of playing second fiddle to a guy who really shouldn't be any more than second fiddle to a real leader.

Dave: Speaking of JMan.. You gonna go see him as well?

Mass: Nah, from what I heard JMan's gonna have enough on his plate without me going out of my way to add to it. Anyway, me just being here is enough to give him several mini heart attacks a minute. He'll keep.

Dave: Oh yeah, I forgot you told me that Istvan told Shaz who PandaMassacre who told Robstar who told Iron Ape who told Shuriken who told Tommy Thunder who told Grind_Bastard who told Krysys who told thedag who told St George who told Straights who told you that JMan was going to have his hands full with Br-

Ma$$: Alright, Dave, shut the fuck up! What is this? The News at Ten?! No spoilers, man!

Dave: Sorry, Ma$$, I guess I'm just a little worked up after knocking out Dr-

Ma$$: Yeah, enough with the tough talk, Dave, it don't suit you. I will say this, though--after hearing you say all those names, the real question is, just why the hell was St George talking to thedag?

Dave: Hahaha, yeah, that one got me too!

Ma$$ shudders, just as they reach the gorilla position, where S.E.Zero is waiting to greet them and usher them through. He extends his hand to Ma$$, who offers him a sneer in return, and a hearty fit of laughter.

Ma$$: Hahaha, look at this idiot, Dave, he thinks we're here to make friends.

S.E.Z.: Just trying to keep things professional, Ma$$.

Ma$$: Man, fuck your professionalism, and fuck you, S.E.Z.. Read the T-shirt, bitch.

Dave: Those days are over with, S.E.Z. so how's about you just hit Ma$$Dinero's new theme song, and let us pass while one of the greatest club classics ever accompanies our steps.

After a few second square off, S.E.Z. bites his lip, and presses play on the sound system, and the camera cuts to the main arena, and trails on the entrance curtain.

Enter: Ma$$Dinero

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8MmW_GOFS8I

Dudley: My lord, this guy is too much. Talk about make a grand entrance! Ma$$ is acting like he owns the place!

Pat: If he wants to alienate himself from the whole of the JBW roster, he's going about it the right way, Dudley.

Ma$$ and Dave casually walk through the entrance curtain to a huge mixed reaction. They walk down the ramp while still talking to one another, hardly paying any attention to the fans. Once they are about half way down the ramp, Ma$$ looks towards the camera, and points at the camera, making his hand into a gun shape.

"BRAP!"

A loud boom erupts from the stage as a firework goes off at the same time as Ma$$ imitates firing his finger gun.

"BRAP!" BOOM!

"BRAP!" BOOM!

"BRAP!BRAP!BRAP!!"

BOOM!BOOM!BOOM!!

They get to the ringside area, and Dave rushes up the steps ahead of Ma$$. Once on the apron he holds the ropes open for Ma$$, who steps through, walks towards the middle of the ring and yells.

"I'M BACK, YOU FUCKING FUCKERS!!!!"

As Dave jumps down to the arena floor to get a mic for himself and Ma$$, the camera begins to focus on some of the fan made signs that have been brought to the show.

Quote:

---

WELCOME BACK HOME MA$$!

---

Quote:

---

SQUASH THEM ALL MA$$!

---

Quote:

---

EGO ALERT!

---

Quote:

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FUCK MA$$

---

Quote:

---

CAGE>MA$$

---

Quote:

---

PROPH GOT FUCKED UP!

---

Quote:

---

DIVINE, VHX, TDA, SHURIKEN, KRYSYS, TOMMY THUNDER, TBOZ, HOLY JOSE, THE ALPHA DOG, PSYCHO SIAKI, EDDIE JUAREZ, JASON ALEXANDER, KJ PUNK, JMAN, AND LENNY LIGHTNING>MA$$DINERO

---

Quote:

---

OI, MA$$, LEND US A FIVER!

---

We cut to the hard camera, and Ma$$ and Dave are seen standing with mics in hand.

Ma$$: Well, as you can all clearly see. I'm back.

Crowd pop.

Perhaps I shouldn't have ever left, because, for what it's worth, now that I'm back in a JBW ring, I gotta say, I've missed it. Wait, oh yeah, I almost forgot--I had to leave. No way I was going allow the new guys in charge to have control over my destiny. No way was I going stay here and allow myself to become a pawn in some petty bullshit feud between a pair of jumped up wankstains and a cunt by the name of Ka$h, a man who just happens to be my brother. So I left, and took my mind off of Jabe for a while.

Boos.

When I began thinking about things again, certain facts started to dawn on me. Facts like Ka$h being gone may be lame for the fans who have to suffer this failing attempt at capturing that Jabe spirit, but, for me, it's fucking great news!

The fans boo, and scoff at that last line.

What?! Are you kidding me, people? With that ar$ehole no longer around here holding me down in reverse nepotism fashion, there's absolutely no one to hold me back.

"EDDIE EDDIE EDDIE"

"LET'S GO JMAN! LETS GO JMAN!"

Dave laughs at the fans chants.

Ma$$: Are you kidding me, people? Those two clowns have got no idea what they've got themselves in for.

Dave: None.

Ma$$: But, I think it's time to let everyone know what's happening right now. What's happening is, I've returned to JBW to declare war on each and every one of these shitcunts on this roster, until I rightfully become the JBW World Heavyweight Champion.

Crowd pop.

There's going to be a lot of bodies piling up real quick if I don't get what's rightfully mine.

I guess, due to what I did to him the last time I saw him, the first casualty is going to be none other than Malcolm Cage.

"WE WANT MALCOLM!"

Ha! Want him to what? Come out here and kick my arse?

Crowd pop.

Yeah, cause that's really gonna happen, ain't it? Malcolm Cage is gonna come out here and reign on my parade for knocking him out at the PPV... Not. He's a grade-a chump. A pathetic whining kissarse. A charisma ridden failure. A straight up curtain jerker who Ka$h felt sorry for so he gave him a little shiny belt to satisfy his bewilderingly apparent ego. Fuck him, I'm gonna end his career like he ended Prophs. Simple.

Dave: I kinda like Malcolm, so, Malcolm, I know you're listening--listen to this. Accept that you got knocked out, and find someone else to feud with. Ma$$Dinero will only be bad for your health, and wealth, and will put you on the shelf permanently.

Ma$$: Once I'm through with Malcolm, he'll be back to setting up the ring, and I eventually will be going on to face the one man I came back to face. Yep, that's right, old man TDA, I'm coming for you, for being the most undeserving champion since IPOOPINTHEBATH. I don't give a shit what anyone says, JBW hit rock bottom the moment it had to place its highest accolade on a wastrel like that old fuck. If I have to go through everyone from the underdog Malcolm Cage, to the highly overrated VHX, to the woman who looks like a man, to Tommy "I can't figure out if I'm Ken Anderson, CM Punk, or Chris Jericho" Thunder, I will.

Mixed reaction.

For too long have I seen others get spots that had my name on them, or win titles that were made to fit my waist and my waist only...

The line has been drawn, JBW. I'm begging you to cross it.

Come on, Dave. This homecoming is over.

Ma$$ and Dave drop their mics, flip the fans the bird, and leave the ring in the same casual manner in which they entered.

Patrick Riley: Well I think that the less said about Ma$$ the better, we'll leave Eddie and Jman to deal with him. As for now, it’s time for our blockbuster main event!

Dudley Erickson: The Tag Team Champions are in action against The World Heavyweight Champion and our newest acquisition!

Patrick Riley: Or in other words, Black Blooded take on TheDevilsAdvocate and Tommy Thunder! That’s right, Tommy Thunder is in JBW!

Dudley Erickson: That EWNCW idiot needs to get out of this company. I’m already sick of him.

Patrick Riley: Regardless of what Dudley thinks, Thunder was the mystery man, he was behind all the videos and he finally revealed himself as the show went on the air!

Dudley Erickson: Finally. I’ve been waiting all this time and what a disappointment. I’m just hoping Black Blooded destroy him tonight.

Patrick Riley: Well they managed to defeat The Panzer Division at Resurrection!

Dudley Erickson: Of course they did, they’re the best damn tag team in the world!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1cJrI1mSK4&feature=fvst

Darren Black: The following tag team contest is set for one fall! Introducing first, at a combined weight of 675 pounds, they are the current JBW Tag Team Champions, Mr. Black and Mr. Blood, Black Blooded!

Patrick Riley: These two guys are a force to be reckoned with, but tonight they are coming up against two legends of the efedding world! This is going to be a hell of a match!

Dudley Erickson: You wanna talk about legends- these two are the legends! They will change the way we look at tag team wrestling.

Patrick Riley: I agree that they’re the future of tag team wrestling and the fact they are the champions shows that, but to disregard Tommy Thunder and our World Heavyweight Champion is ridiculous.

Dudley Erickson: Not in my world.

*Black Blooded ride out to a chorus of boos, their bikes gleaming under the lights as they ride around the ring, circling it twice before parking and rolling in the ring, grabbing microphones, Mr. Blood and Mr. Black each hop on a turnbuckle, holding the JBW Tag Team titles high in the air as Vivica stands on the ropes between them, the IWA Vanity title held high in one hand. Jumping down Vivica goes straight to Mr. Black, wrapping one of his large arms around her, her back to his stomach. Mr. Blood leans back against a turnbuckle, a smirk on his face.*

Mr. Blood: Tommy Fucking Thunder. A Man we worked for in HWA, a man we saw as a side-note in ICW, the man that, as near as we can tell, is the John Fucking Cena of EWNCW. This is the bloated, roided-out mess that they have the best god-damned champions here facing eh? Along with the newly crowned and sure to soon be un-crowned Heavyweight Champ, TDA. Now I know you boys are used to being treated with a certain amount of respect, hell even some fear now and then, but that is either by these inbred, sister-fucking rednecks in the crowd, or by the brainless, spineless lack of Talent waste of spaces in the back. We however, are different.

Mr. Black: We are the Best.

Mr. Blood: The single best in this ring, day after fucking day. We are the Dominant Fucking Predators of this industry. You boys may be good, you may be tough, you may even be talented. Hell you both have had success by yourselves, so stands to reason, right? What you ain't and surely ain't gonna become anytime soon, is a team that has a fucking chance of beating us.

Mr. Black: Less of a shot than those fucking Nazis

Mr. Blood: Damn right, hell, at least they are actually a fucking team. See as good as you fucking morons think you may be, as good as these fucking sycophants you pieces of shit surround yourselves with tell you that you are, you will never be able to equal up to the sheer talent, intelligence, and fucking balls, that have made us the toughest fucking tag team in this world and has won us gold all over it for over a fucking decade.

Vivica: That's right! Nobody is tougher or smarter than my Big Daddy and Unca Blood!

Mr. Blood: Let me put it simply, so that you fucks have a chance of grasping it. Tonight, in the Main Event. Where Black Blooded belongs every fucking week, we are going to teach you boys what happens when you take the unstoppable force and the immovable object and put them together. Tonight we are going to tear you boys apart. This is our industry, our match, our advantage.

Mr. Black: Nothing Personal

Mr. Blood: Just Business.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIpyDIaHtBA

Darren Black: And their opponents, first- from Colorado Springs, Colorado, weighing in at 227 pounds, he is ‘The Storm’ Tommy Thunder!

Patrick Riley: What an honour it is to have Thunder in JBW!

Dudley Erickson: Honour? This guy hates this company!

Patrick Riley: I disagree. He wants to save the company, just like he said.

Dudley Erickson: We don’t need saving.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCtEmXBvuI4

Darren Black: And his partner, from parts unknown, weighing in at 390 pounds, he is the current JBW World Heavyweight Champion, TheDevilsAdvocate!

Patrick Riley: TDA beat both HolyJose and Shuriken Blade at Resurrection to prove he truly deserves to be World Heavyweight Champion.

Dudley Erickson: But the real question is, who’s next?

Patrick Riley: Well right now, he’ll be focusing on Black Blooded!

Dudley Erickson: I agree, but who deserves the next shot, that’s the question.

Main Event: Black Blooded (Brothers of Destruction) vs. Tommy Thunder (Jericho) & TheDevilsAdvocate(Show)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=shUn9VgWDT0
(stop at 4:04)

Patrick Riley: Thunder kicks out of Black’s leg drop!

Dudley Erickson: What is going to keep Thunder down?

Black is clearly angry as he stands up. He leans down and grabs Thunder by the throat, dragging him back to his feet. He throws Thunder into the corner and begins to unload right and left hands to Thunder’s gut. He picks Thunder up and hits a side walk slam! Black gets back up and tags in Blood. Blood rushes across and elbows TDA off the apron. He turns around and grabs a rising Thunder. He bounces Thunder off the ropes and hits a clothesline on the rebound.

Blood grabs Thunder and drags him to his feet. He smirks at the booing crowd before kneeing Thunder in the gut and setting Thunder up for the Blood Drop (Pedigree) but TDA is back in and hits a massive right hand that sends Blood backwards into the corner. Black is back in the ring and begins to trade blows with TDA.

Black!
TDA!
Black!
TDA!
Black!
TDA!
TDA!
TDA!

The World Heavyweight Champion has Black on the ropes. He backs up and hits a big boot that sends Black over the top rope. TDA grabs Thunder by the hand and drags him across to their corner, before climbing onto the apron and grabbing the tag rope. He tags himself in and climbs back into the ring. Blood runs forwards but TDA hits a big boot! He begins to feel it from the crowd and drags Blood up to his feet.

TDA backs Blood into the ropes and whips him across, before going for the Clothesline From Hell on the rebound but Blood ducks underneath and hits a flying lariat on his return, taking down the World Heavyweight Champion! Blood begins to feel it but Thunder is back in the ring and delivers a vicious Shining Wizard!

TDA climbs back to his feet as Thunder climbs out of the ring. TDA drops down and covers Blood.

One!

Two!

Three!

Darren Black: Here are your winners...Tommy Thunder and the JBW World Heavyweight Champion TheDevilsAdvocate!

Patrick Riley: Thunder & TDA did it! What a win!

Dudley Erickson: Thunder wasn’t even the legal man! What kind of bullcrap is this?

The referee climbs into the ring with the World Heavyweight Championship as TDA has his back turned, Black Blooded are already heading away up the ramp as Thunder is celebrating on a turnbuckle. He drops down and approaches the referee. Thunder grabs the title and turns to hand it to TDA.

Patrick Riley: Terrific sign of respect from Thunder there...wait, what is he doing?

What Thunder is doing is very simple, he just struck TDA in the back of the head with the World Heavyweight Championship. TDA falls against the ropes and back into the centre of the ring.

The Crowd are in uproar as Thunder looks upon the downed TDA. He backs to the corner and goads TDA to start getting up. TDA is onto both knees as Thunder charges and cracks him with a Shinning Wizard. The crowd boo further as Thunder stares down at TDA laid out on the mat. He has a vicious look on his face, and after starring at TDA for a while he gets up and proceeds to kick TDA, eventually sending him under the bottom rope and onto the floor below. He then exits the ring himself before grabbing a chair from ringside. As TDA is getting up gingerly, he brings the chair crashing down on his back, sending the World Heavyweight Champion down to his knees again and stumbling towards the announcers table. Thunder takes the hood off and takes off the monitors before grabbing the steel chair again. He once again smashes the chair across the back of TDA which sends him onto the table itself. Thunder then follows him onto the table before picking him up to his knees via his hair. He then screams into his face "BEST IN THE WORLD!" before going behind him and grabbing his head under his arm, in an inverted DDT position before dropping him with a spinning headlock elbow drop through the table!!

Thunder rolls away and stays on one knee to examine his handiwork. He then continues to the ringside area and swiping a mic from a ringside assistant. He then rolls back into the ring and settles in the middle of the ring. He looks out to the arena as the crowd continues to boo him. He eventually lifts the mic to speak.

Thunder: Shhhhhhhh. Shhhhhhhh. Settle down. I wasn't done earlier. I wasn't done explaining what exactly I was doing here. I wasn't done telling you what exactly I was saving you from.

*The crowd boo*

Thunder: As I was saying earlier, I am here in JBW to save all of you. I am here to save all of us. And I was in the middle of explaining what exactly I was saving us all from. As I was saying over the past 12 months, this company has been destroyed. Over the past 12 months this once great company has been raised to the ground. Over the past 12 months, this company, and everyone connected to it have been played for fools. Have been led on by 2 people that weren't fit to run this company. I of course refer to the former owner of this company and his bitch... uhh, I mean lap dog... uhhh, I mean... well I think you know who, or rather, what I mean. I'm talking about Mr Kashdinero and Mr Rated_R(ob)KO. Those 2 people gave you people about 3 shows in 12 months. Is that the kind of treatment that you people deserve? Of course it is!!!

*crowd boo*

Thunder: Those 2 guys led you people on for 12 months!! They led you all on for 12 whole months, which led to this company disintegrating into nothing more than a laughing stock. And all of you people went along with it. You all fell for it, and you all blindly went along with it, like the unambitious parasites that you are.

*the crowd boo*

Thunder: Tommy Thunder is here to save JBW from the mediocrity that you people have chosen to live in for the past 12 months. I am here to save JBW from the bottomless pit that all of you people chose to wallow in for the pat year. I know it, you all know it, TDA on the floor there knows it, and everybody in the back knows it that I am the only person that can brink this company back to the prominence it once enjoyed from the brink of extinction, and you are all going to sit back, and you are all going to like it.

*crowd boo*

Thunder: But to do that, I have to save us from a few things. Most importantly of all, I am here to save us from that man lying there on the floor, the man that I just LAID flat out, the man that you people hail as your World Heavyweight Champion. I am here to save us from The Devils Advocate.

*the crowd boo*

Thunder: That man is a has been. In fact, he's a never was. And would you like to know why? Would you? Because he's been in this business for, well, for ever, and it took him until just recently to capture the World Heavyweight Championship. If that isn't the epitome of mediocrity, then I don't know what is. And despite all of this you people hail this man as if he were the greatest wrestler to ever grace the wrestling business.

*crowd boo*

Thunder: All of you people are mindless sheep that have been blinded by mediocrity, and I am going to open your eyes. You people think that that man is the best? Do you? I am going to show you exactly what the best is. Because I am the best in the world at what I do, and now that I am here you are going to witness what that means as I beat that man again, and again, and again, and again until I eventually break him and take that World Heavyweight Championship, and put it around the waist of the REAL best in the world; ME.

*the crowd boo*

Thunder: I am the only division 1 superstar in this company. Nobody else here comes close to me. Everyone else here is in division 2, I am in division 1. That man down there, was never in division 1! He was always in division 2!! And when JBW is sitting on top with me as it's World Heavyweight Champion this company, and this business in it's entirety will never be the same........ again.

The crowd boos loudly as Tommy picks the JBW World Heavyweight Championship up and holds it up high. The KillZone logo pops up in the corner as the screen fades to black and the JBW logo flashes across to end the show.

That's right, kiddies, it's showtime!

Zero and his roster put a ton of work into this thing, so kudos to them.

It's great feeling like we finally have ourselves completely together in creative. I think that showed with KZ and it shows with this episode of Zero Gravity you're about to read. Enjoy, folks.