EWA: Elite Wrestling Alliance Show Thread

[VanHooliganX]

Episode 8

Theme Song:
Right Here, Right Now - FatBoy Silm



The camera turns on nothing can be seen but smoke and mist. A large shadow walks forward before tripping up, he gets up with haste and starts coughing a lot. It's CJ.

God-- cough damn-- coughs are getting worse Where the hell is DJ!? This is getting ridiculous now! He's been missing for a month and a half! CJ appears to have 1 of those coughs that no matter how hard you cough, that fucker ain't going anywhere
Why is this place so misty anyway?!

Suddenly, from behind CJ, Gimp-wearing legend The Smoggie Smog Monster appears on TV. If we had a live audience to this show, no doubt they'd be screaming louder than teenage girls did for the Beatles in the 60's. Sadly, DJ spent 95% of the budget on Beano comics before his kidnapping.

Oh my god! I-is that you DJ?!

Smog monster once again takes his gimp masks off for yet another great rememberable EWA scene that would shake the very boundaries of EFedding today!

Nope... he shakes his head whilst speaking the earthquake-like words and fades into the background quickly as the smoke and mist follows

I could've sworn I babysat his child before...Must've been another gimp mask-wearing child I looked after.

Well folks. DJ STILL is missing...If you see him, please help a Jackson out here. I miss him!

[VanHooliganX]

Well this weeks interview is going to be with the up and comer who you probably should watch out for. But who is going to interview him?

None other than Noah Phillips!

Noah comes out with a smoke machine and waves it around a bit whilst wearing the old style Ice Hockey helmets that Jason Voorhees still wears

...errr...Sadly the real smog monster just came out. Plus you're probably better just ripping well known talents from televis--Ahhh!

Noah throws the big smoke machine right at him which makes CJ go flying off camera

I do whatever gimmick I please man. So get ready for the best questions ever given to anyone on this show!
Who's the guest? Oh, okay I guess...

My guest on my episode is none other than Dave "The Gunner" Steele!

Noah, get your head out of my ass and stop kissing it like you do to everybody else... I am here to let the EWA wrestlers and fans know that the next franchise for this company has arrived. I did my time with the Marines and was signed immediately to EWA for one reason only...to DOMINATE this business. And if I have to go through piss ants like you Noah, then let it be, I have no problem with that. In war, I have stared death in the eye more times than I can remember, so I'm not afraid of death and I'm surely not afraid of any of the wrestlers here in the EWA, to be honest, I respect very few here that can back up their talk and then you have idiots here running their mouths and never getting in the ring with me. Why hasn't EWA given me a worthy opponent? I have no clue, but Bellamy says I need to be recognizable, and that's just what I am going to do... Maybe I'll start with you Noah, you pathetic twat!

Sonamagun! Anyways. What accomplishilishipments have you dones so far in your career?
Just being signed to a lucrative deal with EWA is a stepping stone to what I will do here in the EWA. I admit that I'm new here, but I should not be underestimated because of that. I am a trained killing machine. I have saved lives and I have taken lives with no remorse whatsoever. Give me a year and then ask me that question again. I tell you what Noah, I have accomplished way more than your fucking sorry ass!!!

Okay sucka, I'll show you wai am the 5-time 5-time 5-time 5-time 5-time Gimmick changer! Lemme axe ya somethin' I need to know who is in yo' fave 5!

Fave 5? I have no favorites!!! I didn't come here to kiss anybody's ass and have them become my favorite wrestlers... My Fave 5? Dave "The Gunner" Steele to the 5th Power!!! Choke on that Bitch!!!

[VanHooliganX]

Listen, brother! What makes you stand out from the rest of the roster?

You listen maggot... Just look at me... Look at my size, my skills.... I'm the meanest motherfucker in this planet. Kids see me coming and they scream in fear. I have orphaned children and widowed wives. I back up my talk with action. Wrestlers here in the EWA have told me that I haven't even had a match. That is true Noah, but why is the EWA scared to put me in a match with one of their own? Because they know I will clean house. I will put them in a hospital. Johnny Not So Hot kept calling me out but no match was ever made... Maychump called me out, but again no match was made. Why not? I have no clue. Afraid? Yes they are!!!

Err...CJ actually told me to ask you this. But uh...Do you know where DJ is?

Say what shitball? I don't give a rat's ass as to whom or where DJ is... He could be a rotting corpse somewhere for all I care. Stop fucking around NOAH and stick with the questions that pertain to me. I am warning you and I do deliver, one more stupid question like that and I will tear out your tongue and use it to beat the shit out of you.

Holla, Holla, Holla! Y'all a good playa. But I need to ask ya? Who would you have as your tag team partner if you were to go into a tag match with anyone as a possibility?

Well Noah, be rest assured...it wouldn't be your sorry ass. It would have to be another wrestler that is mean and strong like me. Maybe Kryptonite would be my choice, he is one wrestler that I respect. I actually respect Maychump but there is too much friction between us at the moment, but I do respect him as well.

Austin 3:16 says. What's your finisher?!
Well Gunner 3:16 says! leans over and slaps Noah on the face I just bitch slapped you Noah, and I'm taking it easy on you with that slap. My Devil Dog Buster is similar to the suplex, but I hold the opponent in the air and let the blood rush to the head... and then I slam my opponent right on his back so the spine can receive the impact, that will stop him and guarantee me the win. I can demonstrate it on your sorry ass Noah.... don't be a scared bitch!

Noah poses like a model after being hit and is now weirdly wearing a blonde wig So how did you get the nickname "The Gunner"? Noah then screams for a few seconds and realises this imitation has zero character
You're really beginning to bore the hell out of me!!! You wanna know how I gut the name Gunner? Let me get my guns and show you. Gunner whips out his 2 Desert Eagle handguns and fires 5 shots from each gun towards Noah, not injuring him at all Does that answer your question?

[VanHooliganX]

Bro, Are you serious? You need to get a sick tan than to point guns at Noah Phillips. So bro! A part from taking care and spiking your hair. What are your goals in EWA that you like to achieve?

My ultimate goal is to become the next EWA World Champion! I will fight anyone to get to my goal. I will climb that ladder to get to the top, once I get to the top it will be a challenge for anyone wanting to dethrone me. I will make an impact here at the EWA, I will be talked about for years to come. Future EWA Hall Of Famer? Oorah!

I see.He takes a sip from his coffee mug and puts on a bowtie and adjusts it into placeSo tell us a little about your past. What made you become a professional wrestler? A bio if you please.

Just like my bio says you freak... very little is known about me and I want to keep it that way. I will let you know this, I am a mean ass kicker. You piss me off and I will respond. I became a pro wrestler because this is in my blood, this is what I do, this is who I am. I'm not like everyone else who said they used to see the old fart wrestlers as a kid... No, I saw this as an opportunity to come and kick ass, enjoy it and become the most dominant superstar that EWA has ever seen. I called a personal friend of mine Bill Goldberg and asked him to train me because to be the best, you need to be trained by the best. Goldberg is an ass kicker, you know what, so am I.

...Yeah that's all fine and dandy like your answers tonight but Dave! ...What's up!
My fist going up your mouth and beating the shit out of you Noah!!!!

...Okay you know what...Fuck this! You're not worth this interview!Noah stands up and gets close up to DaveWho do you fucking think you're, hmm?! You answers are taking the major spotlight over my gimmick changes! Do you know how fucking annoying it is think of some other gimmicks!? Noah pushes him back slightly I know for a fact that my real self with no gimmick would own you bitch! I doubt you could even beat Das-Wa! Noah pushes him again

I've had it with you Noah... all these gimmick changes is your downfall, just another skirt you can hide behind. You wanna be a broke-ass comedian bitch all your life, I don't give a damn, do that....but you dare lay your hands on me Noah... I don't think so. You lay your hands on me and I will do the same to you maggot!

Steele kicks Noah in the gut and hits him on the back with his forearm. Noah fights back but Steele is not moved by Noah. Steele takes him down and pounds on him. Steele then picks him and throws against the wall like a rag doll. Steele then performs the Devil Dog Buster and lays him flat on top of the glass coffee table, Noah is bleeding like crazy. Noah calls Steele to come closer, Steele leans towards Noah

What's that Noah? You want me to tell the world what a pussy you are? What else you primadona? I'll take care of that for you!!! On behalf of Noah, this pathetic piece of shit laying on the floor bleeding like a whore, thank you for joining us for another episode of Point of Convergence!

Noah is slowly getting up, Steele kicks him right on the nuts and gives him another Devil Dog Buster on the glass floor. Noah doesn't move even an inch afterwards as the cameras just go to the EWA logo and end the show.

[VanHooliganX]

This episode of Point of Convergence was sponsored by:

The Blog Wars!
(By WrestlingFan55613)

Where the best EWN bloggers do battle!

(Latest episode: http://www.ewrestlingnews.com/commun...anagers-Valets)

[VanHooliganX]

Ivanhoe Heskey/Alex Kidd:

*Heskey starts crying and Kidd aproaches him*

Kidd: What´s wrong Ivanhoe?

Heskey: It´s just that, *sinffes* I killed my grandma with a chairshot

*Heskey starts crying*

Kidd: Cheer up pal you need to wrestle tonight for EWA Fury is next and you need to wrestle.

Heskey: It doesn´t matter, I am undefeated, I would beat the shit out of everybody including the world champ in a matter of seconds *Heskey sniffs*

*Kidd starts fuming*

Kidd: What did you just say?

Heskey: I said, I would beat the world champ in a matter of seconds

*Kidd is thinking about trying to end Heskey´s streak, HE GOES FOR THE COVER BUT HESKEY THINKS FAST*

*Heskey goes for the pin 1....2.......3 STILL UNDEFEATED*

*Kidd is shocked*

[VanHooliganX]

Past Memories:

The burnt victim is looking straight down the camera lens and this time you can see his full face. After a couple of seconds he takes off his shirt and reveals that the burning scars don't stop at the neck area, but all the way down his right side of his body.

Hello again. I'm the guy who waffled on too much last time I had 1 of these speeches. I apologise if I bored you.

I'll admit, I'm not a barrel of laughs to be around at times, that's my tag team partner.

But 1 thing you're going to realise is that although I'm not a poster boy material for how my body is deformed. I'm proba--No we're probably 1 of the biggest threats in tag team that is going to debut soon.My partner is 1 of the best high flyers you'll see, he also has a beast kick on him.I should know. If my jaw had working nerves It'd hurt like a motherfucker.

Be warned EWA. We're nothing like anything you've ever seen in EFedding. We're an oddball team but good friends that will get the job done and become multiple time tag champions!

I realise I'm not nice to look at. I'd be a very shit supermodel with my looks but it doesn't matter if you enjoy watching us wrestle or you can't get over what I am. Past memories are the future.

No amount of "I am the poster boy of EWA!" and "I'm going to be world champion" comments are going to help you...

I am 1 half of past memories and I am Cien.

[VanHooliganX]

EWA Top 15 active list:

1st - Turnes brothers - Was 8th - 5th consecutive week in top 15

The Turnes become the first tag team to get #1 spot. Congrats!

2nd - Gaileo - New entrant

Impressive entry from Gaileo this week. Can he keep this up though?

3rd - Dingo - Was 6th - 5th consecutive week in top 15

Dingo moves up into the Bronze position as he tries to reclaim top spot. He comes up a bit short this week though

4th - Ali Kazaam - Was 9th - 3rd consecutive week in top 15

Ali increases his position. As long as he didn't cheat by using magic, all is well.

5th - Mike "Mayhem" Hawk - Was 1st - 4th consecutive week in top 15

The number 1 has moved down but is still in the top 5 in the active list.

6th - Rob Rage - Was 10th - 2nd consecutive week in top 15

Rob once again moves up in the ranks. His lose to Kidd at Untamed Khaos hasn't stopped his activeness at least.

7th - Van Hooligan X - Was 3rd - 6th consecutive week in top 15

Van moves down a few places. But still continues to be the highest placed person with the longest streak in the top 15

8th - Ivanhoe Heskey - Was 12th - 3rd consecutive week in top 15

Arrive. Heskey. Miss the leaving part. How does he keep messing this sentence up.

9th - Barbie - Was 4th - 6th consecutive week in top 15

She's done it again! Only female to make the list once again.

10th - Killa - Was 14th - 3rd consecutive week in top 15

Once again the craziest gansta makes the list.

11th - Broc - New entrant

HWA's owner makes his first appearance in the list. He gains a respectable 11th.

12th - Johnny Hot - Was 5th - 5th consecutive week in top 15

Johnny continues to fall in the list. He needs to move up or he'll be saying goodbye to the list soon.

13th - Artemis - New entrant

Artemis makes the list on the first time of asking. Now can he move up in the world?

14th - Alex Kidd - Was 15th - 5th consecutive week in top 15

Well I guess it's an improvement. He keeps his streak alive.

15th - Christopher Jackson (CJ) - Was 7th - 6th consecutive week in top 15

CJ just creeps into the list once again. He clearly isn't taking the disappearance of his brother DJ.

[Destruction]

EWA Top 15 active list:

1st - Turnes brothers - Was 8th - 5th consecutive week in top 15

The Turnes become the first tag team to get #1 spot. Congrats!

2nd - Gaileo - New entrant

Impressive entry from Gaileo this week. Can he keep this up though?

HA HA HA HA HA HA

Luke Turne: Who's the number 1 superstar now bitches!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gid-Fact #5:

I'm the one that started telling everyone that Destruction is 12

I HATE YOU GIDDY, the wanking master over gay porn















Filler

[eyehatecena]

I call the last filler! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ok, don't forget to read Untamed Khaos if you have not already- it starts a few pages back- and of course read the above PoC...pleaseeeee!