EWA: Elite Wrestling Alliance Show Thread

[Robareid]

EWA Fury Episode 11



Herb: Hello and welcome to EWA Fury, live from Helsinki in Finland

Rich: This is our go home show heading into Clash at the Colosseum, and it’s sure to be a good ‘un

Herb: We’re going to shake things up and start a little differently tonight, we’re kicking things off with a match!

Rich: That’s right, Hanz Gruber vs. Ali Kazam, let’s get things underway

Ali Kazam

Herb: Here comes EWA’s resident magic man, as if you hadn’t guessed from either his name or his theme. He’s been pretty impressive since his debut

Rich: *scoffs* Really? You call one jobber squash and one loss impressive

Herb: Sure, he did lose last week, but he put in an impressive showing against one of Fury’s top starts, taking Van Hooligan X to the limit

Rich: Since when did impressive showings mean anything? It’s a win loss sport, and Ali has yet to get a decent win under his belt

Hanz Gruber

Rich: This guy however is always impressive, and has the wins to back it up. The supreme technician is going to be the one to pick up the win here tonight

Herb: I wouldn’t be surprised. I mean, not only is he that damn good in the ring, but look who he’s brought out with him, Gerald Croft and his Butler Brutus Croft. Oh look, it seems we’re going to be joined on commentary.

Rich: Brilliant! We are so lucky to be graced by such class

Gerald: Thank you Richard. I thought I’d add my considerable wrestling expertise to the commentary table while my associate Gruber is dominating over in the ring

Herb: Well while you’re here, you can do some explaining. What do you have against Rob Rage?

Gerald: That’s your question? What do I have against Rob Rage? The question should be “What don’t I have against Rob Rage?”! He represents everything that is wrong with my great country. He embodies all the rotten and dead parts of England, and he gives the United Kingdom as a whole a bad name. I could go on and on, but then we’d miss the match because Gruber is going to dominate him here, so I’ll cut to the chase. The worst part is that these fans actually like him for it!

Herb: So it’s a jealo-

Brutus Smith puts one of his huge hands on Herb’s shoulder threateningly and Herb stops speaking immediately

Gerald: You were saying?

Rich: I agree; Rage is a douche.

Gerald: Not quite how I’d have put it, but I agree with the sentiment. Now, enough talk of my far inferior compatriot, let’s get this match under way so we can all marvel at the technical genius of the man who will be beating Rage in a two out of three falls match at Clash at the Colosseum. That is, if he has the guts to accept my man’s challenge.

Hanz Gruber = Eddie Edwards // Ali Kazam = Jack Evans

*watch up until 8:28*

Rich: Both men are pearched up on the top turnbuckle; this is going to end badly for somebody

Gerald: Nonsense, this is going to end well for all involved. Hanz will hit whatever he has in mind and win the match, giving we of Croft’s Limited a win and simultaneously putting Ali Kazam out of his misery in this match

Before Hanz can hit what looks to be a superplex, Rage comes sprinting down the ramp and onto the apron, hitting Hanz square in the chops and sending him tumbling off the turnbuckle and down to the floor on the outside

Gerald: You see what I mean! Rage is the scum of the Earth! *He pulls off his headset and starts to go towards Rage with Brutus*

In the ring, Ali is infuriated by Rage for costing him the match. He shoves him back, causing Rob to trip and fall back first onto the apron.

Rich: It’s all kicking off!

Rage quickly pulls himself back up and gets in Ali’s face. Before they come to blows however, G-Scorp is there. He jumps up onto the top rope where Ali is still perched, and hits an absolutely massive cutter off the top rope into the ring!

Herb: My GOD! That was huge

At this moment Brutus Smith hits a huge spear through the ropes into Rob Rage who was standing on the apron, and they both go flying down to the floor

Rich: Wow! Rage is down, Ali is down and Brutus is down. This is a bloody train wreck!

Herb: And it’s not over either, look G-Scorp is searching under the ring for something

The Scorpster pulls out a steel chair from under the ring and slides back into the ring with it. Ali has managed to get up onto all fours after taking the top rope PHS. G-Scorp lifts up the chair above his head, then repeatedly drives it down onto Ali, again and again and again. He’s going into somewhat of a frenzy, and isn’t showing any signs of stopping. After around thirty chair shots have rained down on the back of Ali, the arena security decide they need to step in. About ten of them swarm G-Scorp and wrestle the chair off him and pull him to the back

Herb: Such brutality. Thank God it’s over

Rich: I wouldn’t be so sure; look at Croft

As Rob is using the apron to make his way up to his feet, Gerald Croft is stalking up behind him, cane in hand. Rob turns around and Croft swings the cane, baseball style catching his fellow Brit right in the forehead with huge force. The carved ivory Elephant which makes up the handle of the cane is the section hitting him, and rips open his skin busting Rob wide open, spurting blood everywhere as he goes down hard

Herb: Rob’s bleeding everywhere! We’re going to have to take a commercial break while we clear this mess up. Totally unnecessary

Rich: Rage cost Hanz Gruber what looked to be a sure fire win. Gerald was just taking revenge on behalf of his client

<<<Commercial break>>>

[Robareid]

As Fury comes back from commercial break a camera man is following CJ who is wearing a tutu and a wife beater shirt. He finally stops when he has found what he is looking for- G-Scorp

CJ: Now lookie here Scorpie. Can I call you Scorpie?

G-Scorp: Its G-Scorp ya fruit

CJ: Can I call you the G-Spot?

*G-Scorp just growls at CJ*

CJ: Look G-Spot, I don’t care for your attitude. You ruined a perfectly good match between that smelly German and the magic man Ali Kazam. You ruined what could have been the most magical night here in EWA. Ali had a major trick planned and you ruined it! He was going to make me appear in the ring out of thin air. That’s why I am wearing this getup. Because of that, I am putting you in a hardcore match. Anything goes and it will be against Gyakusatsu. I hope he punishes you bad, really bad. You’ve been a bad boy

G-Scorp: Why the fuck are you punishing me? Rob Rage interrupted the match first

CJ: Well nobody likes you- everybody loves Rob Rage. I know I do.

G-Scorp: Well fuck Rage.

CJ: I’d love to, but he’s not into men unfortunately. Plus he is too old for me, way too old

G-Scorp: Motherfucker, all I’m saying if you’re going to punish me, you better punish him too.

CJ: Well I could give him a good spanking.

G-Scorp: I mean a match you dumbass

CJ: Well that seems fair. He shall be in a hardcore match too but for the main event of the night. Say, G-Spot, can I give you a spanking? I’m really in the mood to…

G-Scorp: Fuck you! And I should be in the main event, not Rob Rage

G-Scorp walks off while CJ looks at the camera man

CJ: Can I please spank you? Please? Please?

Camera man: Very well, but let me turn off the camera

As Gyakusatsu slides under the bottom rope into the ring, G-Scorp goes to take the advantage and stomps him repeatedly. After a couple G thinks he’s sufficiently weakened Gyakusatu and rebounds off the opposite ropes but Gyak explodes up to his feet and levels G-Scorp with a sick clothesline turning him inside out

Rich: Woah! Nice move

Gyak then grabs the hair of G-Scorp and pulls him up into a sitting position, and while still holding onto him by the hair smashes his knee into the side of his head once… twice… three times. He then let’s go of the hair of G-Scorp and he flops back down onto his back. His nose is clearly broken and blood is gushing out from it, covering his face

Herb: This guy is destroying G-Scorp. This match has only been going about thirty seconds but he already looks both knocked out and he’s definitely busted open

Rich: If this is what the hardcore division is going to be about, then it looks like it’s going to be a lot of fun, just as long as they stay clear away from me.

Gyakusatsu bends down and rubs his hand in his opponent’s blood. He then lifts it up to his face and smears it over one side of his face so from one side he looks untouched while from the other his face seems covered in blood. The Japanese psychopath pulls up G-Scorp and grabbing him by the back of the head runs over to the edge of the ring and tosses him over the top rope and down to the floor. He then climbs down, following him out, and goes under the ring, pulling out a steel chair. He walks over to G-Scorp, who is slowly making his way back up, and impales it into his stomach, keeling him over. Gya then lifts the chair up above his head and slams it down on his back, making him stagger about with the impact, and then lays him out with a final chair shot to the face

Rich: Man down!

Gyakusatsu then pulls G-Scorp back up and rolls him back into the ring, before searching under the ring and pulling out a ladder! He hoists it up and pushes it up onto the top rope then over it into the ring, then follows it in. Surprisingly after the beating he’s taken, G-Scorp is back up and starts laying in some right hands, momentarily stunning this wrecking machine

Herb: Wow, G-Scorp’s actually getting some offence in

Not for long though, as after around five punches Gyakusatsu ducks down and shoulder charges him back into the turnbuckle. He then rears back and smashes his shoulder into G-Scorp’s mid-section, then repeats this, taking all the wind out of G-Scorp in the corner

Rich: Well so much for that

Gyakusatsu then lift G-Scorp up on his shoulder, runs the few meters over to where the ladder is positioned and plants him down with a vicious spinebuster onto the steel rungs. But he’s not finished there. He pushes G-Scorp off of the ladder, opens it up, then positions his head in between the two legs, then slams it down crushing the head and neck of the wannabe gangster

Herb: Ow, this is getting a little uncomfortable now

Rich: What are you talking about, this is great!

Gyakusatsu then picks up the steel chair he was using earlier and goes back over to the ladder, and slams it down on the end, crushing G-Scorp’s head a little more each time. After about ten times he discards the chair, which is now completely misshapen, and gives it a final stomp, befre dropping down and rolling out of the ring and looking under it for something else.

Herb: Oh god, what now?

A table! Gyakusatsu, with a sick sadistic smile on his face, pushes a table into the ring. He then walks over the G-Scorp, who still hasn’t moved, and opens up the ladder frame, pushing him off it with his foot. He then proceeds to set up the table in the centre of the ring, and then lay the ladder underneath it.

Herb: This isn’t going to end well

Rich: I’m pretty sure it’s going to end it though

He goes back to G-Scorp’s prone body, and drags his limp body over to the table/ladder combination, standing behind him. He hooks him in a half nelson, then lifts him up, still in the half nelson, then twists his body and sits out hitting a devastating half nelson driver through the table and onto the ladder

Herb: I hear he calls that “Shitten”

Rich: Holy shit that was awesome!

Due to all the table wreckage and ladder rungs, G-Scorp’s shoulders probably aren’t on the mat, and the ref knows it, but at this point he doesn’t care.

One!

Two!

Three!

[Robareid]

Herb: What a match

Rich: A match, that wasn't a match, that was a complete destruction

Herb: You're right, a completely dominating impact by Gyakusatsu. What a debut, he's got to be one of the favourites for Hardcore Takeover

*Gyakusatu looks down at the mangled mess that is G-Scorp*

Gyakusatu: Look here! This is why you do not mess with the genocidal spirit that is me! I am the destruction that has been missing here in Elite Wrestling Alliance, the chaos and carnage that will bring misery to those who have the task of meeting me in the ring. I am Gyakusatu, and I am pain, I am suffering, I am hatred, and I am the nightmare you'll wish you never had!

*G-Scorp crawls towards the ropes in a desperate attempt to leave the ring, which makes Gyakusatu smiles a bit as he chuckles.*

Gyakusatu: You see this man, *Kicks G-Scorp in the midsection, who lets out a loud grown* he has already had the pleasure of feeling the pain, and look how much he enjoyed it! He just can't seem to leave my company! *Kicks G-Scorp again numerous times* So, come one and come all! Feel the pain! I promise you will never forget the moment you step foot in the ring with me! There is no escape.

Kurehateru hatamata imashiki za kaibutsu u toru nani desu Kare no!

*Gyakusatu repeatedly stomps on G-Scorp, before kicking him in the skull. Just as he looks to leave, he grins and goes back to G-Scorp who is completely passed out, Gyakusatu grabs him and hits his finishing move the Shiten.



*Finally, after that, he leaves much to the crowds displeasure*

<<<Commercial Break>>>

[Robareid]

Herb: Welcome back to Fury, and up next we have a big tag team matchup pitting both men from two matches for the Clash against each other.

Rich: That's right, we're going to see Artemis Eclipse, who is challenging the Television Champion Jack Phenix in Rome, and KiLLA who will be competing in a brutal street fight against Brandon Medeiros taking on their opponents for the PPV

Herb: They're all already in the ring, so it's time to kick things off

Artemis Eclipse and KiLLA vs. Jack Phenix and Brandon Medeiros
Artemis and Killa/Punk and Dinero…..Jack and Brandon/Funk and Raven


*Stop watching @8:55

Herb: Wow, nice DDT by Jack to Killa. He’s going for the pin

One

Rich: Come on Killa, get up!

Two

Kickout by Killa

Rich: That was too close

Jack pulls Killa up and Irishwhips him into the ropes, but one the way back, Killa connects with a hard clothesline that knocks Jack into the corner right near Brandon, Brandon, covered in blood, tags in but Killa immediately goes after him, hitting him with a series of stiff blows. Killa then grabs Brandon by the throat and starts chocking him. The ref pulls him and pushes Killa back to mid ring. Brandon goes to tag Jack in but before he can do that, Artemis, on the arena floor, has made his way to Jack and pulls him off the ring apron, taking a bad fall onto the ring steps. Artemis then picks up a steel chair and starts pounding Jack with it

Herb: DQ right there.

Rich: Ah, but they are not the legal men

Herb: Good point.

As Artemis is now dragging Jack up the ramp, Killa and Brandon are exchanging blows in the ring. Killa surprise Brandon with a knee shot to his balls and he bends over in pain. The ref pulls Killa away from Brandon and they both start arguing. As they are doing that, Brandon, still in pain, hits Killa with a DDT, then rolls him up for the pin

One

Two

Three

Winners- Jack Phenix and Brandon Medeiros

Rich: I think Artemis Eclipse and KiLLA are the real winners- look at the messages they sent Jack and Brandon

The ref raises Brandon’s arm in victory as Brandon is still in pain from the nut shot. Brandon looks around for Jack only to see EWA security has pulled Artemis and Jack apart and are escorting them backstage. While Brandon is about to leave the ring, Killa attacks him from behind, knocking him to the ring floor. Killa jumps out of the ring too, looks under the ring and finds a baseball bat. Brandon slowly gets to his feet, but is now blinded by blood, Killa is just standing there- in a batting stance. Killa swings at Brandon’s mid section, then at his balls, not once but twice. Brandon is down but Killa’s not finished with him

CJ to the rescue

CJ, in his underwear, rushes out with security who immediately pull Killa away from a bloodied Brandon

CJ: Let me be serious for a minute here, Killa, you have taken this just a little too far. I was watching the match on the monitors in the back while I was having my pubes and balls waxed when I saw you hit Brandon in his balls, then I was horrified to see you do it to him again with that bat. So since you like it rough Killa, at Clash, you and Brandon will have a street fight match. Hopefully that will end your lust for blood. Now let me get back to my waxing

Security escorts Killa to the back and an EMT crew comes out and loads Brandon onto a board and to the back

[Robareid]

*Kidd is seen backstage in his looking at his EWA world championship when somebody with a camera comes up to him*

Random interviewer: Alex, could I ask you a question regarding Michael the Archangel?

*Kidd looks up at the reporter*

Kidd: May I ask you a question first?

Reporter: Yes?

Kidd: Actually not just one question, 3 questions. Who the hell are you? Why are you here and who gave you permission to talk to the hottest superstar all around?

Reporter: Well I kind of, I’m a reporter for EWA. I’m new here.

Kidd: Well not just anybody talks to Alex Kidd and you should know that. Today is your luck day though because I’m in a good mood because I get to kick some religious ass tonight.

Reporter: Ok that’s great because

Kidd: Shut the hell up. I wasn’t done talking. You can either respect me or get the hell out of my locker room

Reporter: Ok Mr, Kidd

Kidd: Michael the Archangel will never step in my ring ever again after what I do to him in Rome, Italy. He thinks he can do what Rob Rage tried to do and beat me in his home town where he wins and celebrates with the pope and all his little fetishes about raping boys in a church. That’s because he’s in a fantasy world where the honey is sweet and the butterflies fly high in the sky. I’m going to give you the reality check you need though.

*Kidd looks at his title on his table*

Kidd: It’s amazing, it’s all I ever wished for, it’s all I ever dreamed about. I made it happen all by myself. This proves I am a world champion. IT’S MINE! When I beat Michael The Archangel at Clash At The Colloseum it’s going to feel sweet when I stand on top of the world, pinning his sorry ass 1..2..3 and put my foot on top of him as I declare another win, another victory. This is my time, this is my era, it’s my generation

Reporter: I sense you’re a bit scared

Kidd: Scared of that piece of crap? I’ve beaten better, bigger. faster and stronger that him. Right now he’s just reserving Rob Rage’s spot when Rob tries to go at it again. I beat Rob Rage countless times, now where is Rob now? Soon the same will happen to Michael and every other person that challenges me. This title is staying with me, and there is nothing you or Michael, or anybody else can do about it, now get out of my locker room.

Reporter: I still have a one more-

*Kidd takes the title and smacks the reporter in the face then looks down at him, spits at him then steps his foot on him raising the world title as Kidd does the greatest smirk that ever lived*

Herb: Urgh, that's discusting, picking on a defenceless reporter like that. It's a sad day when we have to admit he's our World Champion

HOS is shown in the back alongside Ashley Ion. Just as Ashley lifts up the mic to ask a question, Douglas Blake comes storming in from off shot and lays out HOS with a chair shot to the head. Ashley screams and legs it as Douglas continues a brutal assault, laying in chair shot after chair shot on the floor. After about ten, he stops and lets out a deep, evil laugh. A group of running security can be heard running towards the scene, so Douglas drops the chair and begins to walk off, then turns around, spits on HOS and then leaves the scene as security arrive.

Rich: Ouch, HOS just got destroyed. I don’t see him being able to compete after that

Herb: Well that’s a little awkward, because he’s scheduled for a tag match up next

Michael the Archangel

Herb: Here comes the guy who’s supposed to be his partner

Rich: So what’s going to happen, is it going to be a handicap match?

Herb: If it is, then I feel sorry for the Archangel. He’s a great talent, that’s why he’s the current number one contender, but his two opponents are also great talent. I doesn’t bode well for his upcoming title match

Rich: Well that depends

Herb: What do you mean?

The EWA Fury World Heavyweight Champion Alex Kidd

Rich: Well from this guy’s perspective it’s a great thing. It gives him a chance to soften up Michael before there impending title showdown. It all depends on your viewpoint

Herb: I suppose, but it hardly seems fair

Rich: When was wrestling ever fair?

Douglas Blake

Herb: And here’s the guy who’s caused this whole situation, and look at him, he’s really pleased with himself.

Rich: Well look at it from his perspective, it’s a genius move. Not only will he now get the winners share of the purse tonight, but it will also help him get the win at Clash at the Colosseum. It’s all more moneys!

Herb: Speaking of that match, I’m just getting a message through. Here’s an exclusive announcement. Their match at the Clash will be for a TV Title Shot!

Rich: well there you have it, even more of a genius move!

Michael the Archangel = John Cena // Alex Kidd = Michael McGillicuty / Douglas Blake = David Otunga


*watch till 5:17*

Herb: Michael is on a roll!

Michael bounces off the ropes again and goes for a clothesline, but Kidd ducks underneath and follows up with a knee to the gut of the Archangel, quickly following up with clothesline to the back of the head of the Archangel, knocking him face first down to the mat. As Michael starts to quickly get back to his feet, Kidd drops an elbow cutting him off. Archangel tries to get up again, but when he gets to his hands and knees Kidd hits a jumping legdrop to the back of his head

Rich: Well that little flurry didn’t last very long. It’s basically a handicap match. Michael would be hard pressed to win if he had HOS as a partner, but without him he’s got no chance.

Kidd then walks over to Blake and tags him in. Douglas gets into the ring, and pulls up the number one contender onto his feet, then places his head between Douglas’ legs in the piledriver position

Herb: He’s going for the devastating flip piledriver

With Michel right where he wants him, Douglas raises one hand into the air and a cocky smile slides onto his face, achieving a round of boos from the fans in attendance. Then suddenly-

[Robareid]

It’s HOS!

A battered and bruised, but out for revenge HOS runs down the ramp towards the ring. It distracts Douglas for about a second, but that’s all that is necessary. Michael pulls his head out from the piledriver position and quick as a flash hits an enzugiri! Both men are down and HOS jumps up onto the apron, grabs the tag rope and urges Michael to make his way over and get the tag.

Herb: And HOS is out here to even the sides! The tables may have turned, if only Michael could drag himself over to his corner and tag the High Octane Superstar in

Rich: Both men need a tag right now. They’re both crawling towards their corners, whoever can get the tag first will have the advantage

Douglas Blake makes the tag into the World Champion Alex Kidd who rushes into the ring to stop Michael making the tag. Kidd jumps at Michael, but just before he makes contact Michael uses the last of his energy reserves to spring upwards and towards his corner, just getting the tag.

Herb: He got it!

HOS springboards into the ring, hitting a dropkick on Alex Kidd and knocking him down to the mat. Kidd quickly gets back up only to be met with a discus clothesline from HOS, knocking him down again. HOS then starts clapping his hands, firing himself up as Kidd gets up again. When he does get to his feet, HOS runs at him and goes for a pump kick, but Kidd ducks underneath and sweeps his standing leg, sending him face first into the mat, then follows up with a leg drop to the back of his head

Rich: Well so much for having a chance

Kidd then runs across to Michael, and hits him with a forearm knocking him off of the apron. After that he rushes over to HOS, who is up again but groggy, and hits him with a running forearm, sending him back into Kidd’s corner. Kidd then charges in with a running shoulder thrust, and with him still pushing against the gut of HOS, trapping him in the corner, tags in Blake.

Herb: It doesn’t look good for HOS here. Not one bit

While still on the apron, Blake hits a clubbing blow to the back of HOS’ head, pushing him onto the shoulder of Kidd. He then enters the ring, and Kidd pulls him out of the corner, with HOS still draped over his shoulder. Kidd, with an impressive show of power for such a small guy, elevates HOS up into the air and when he comes back down Douglas Blake catches him with a cutter.

Rich: It’s over!

One!

Two!

Three!

Herb: And that’s all she wrote. Big win there for both Blake and Kidd going into their matches at Clash at the Colosseum.

Rich: So what are your predictions for these two?

Herb: Well I’d say Blake has the advantage in his match up, as HOS is pretty banged up. However, I’d say we could well see a title change at Clash at the Colosseum

Rich: Oh I’d agree, Jack Phenix definitely won’t be retaining, but Michael’s going to end up on the losing side again come Clash at the Colosseum.

Herb: That’s not what I meant and you know it

In the ring, Michael is helping HOS up to his feet, when Alex Kidd comes up behind him and hits a killer roundhouse kick to the back of his head, knocking him down and perhaps out

Herb: Oh what the hell, what is this about? The match is over, you’ve got your advantage, leave it at that

Rich: Why stop at a small advantage; why not strike while the iron is hot?

With Michael down, Kidd ascends up to the top rope. Once he reaches there, he lets out a shout of “Who’s your World Champion?” which is met with a response of heavy boos. This just seems to make him happy, as a cocky smile spreads over his face, before diving off and hitting the King Senton (650 Senton) on the downed challenger for his title.

Rich: He hit it perfect, absolutely perfect. That’s gotta sting

Kidd then demands his championship belt be brought to him, and after receiving it walks over and stands with one foot on top of Michael, and lifts the belt high above his head

Rich: The picture of perfect. I’m proud to say this guy is our world champion

Herb: How can you say that? He just attacked a man from behind

Rich: But few could do so with such style

Herb: You are completely deluded. Let’s go for a break

[Robareid]

Rich: Right, this next match pits the four winners from the singles matchups in previosu weeks against each other. It should be a great preview of the four way match at the Clash for the titles

Herb: And as per order of the GM CJ, the winner of this match gets to choose the stipulation for that said title matchup. The stakes couldn't be higher; let's get it on!

Luke Turne vs. Uliose Pamich vs. Paul Conrad vs. Karl Panzer
Luke/Kaval…Uliose/Alberto…Paul/Tarver…Karl/Barrett


*stop @7:50

Rich: Wow, Big Boot by Karl, knocking Paul off the apron

Karl is the only man still in the ring now and he lets out a mean growl

Herb: This guy is on fire

Kid Wonder

Kid Wonder rushes out through the crowd and slides into the ring behind Karl and hits him hard in the back of the knees- taking him down. Kid starts pummeling him with left and rights

The ref calls for the bell

Winner- No contest

Oli Panzer

Oli rushes down the ramp and into the ring. He scopes up a surprised Wonder and with a surprising show of power, throws him into the Spanish announce table- cracking it into two. Luke, Paul and Uliose have both made there way back into the ring and all five men have a staredown before Karl tackles Uliose to the mat and starts beating the shit out of him. Karl and Luke take one look at each other and both men attack Paul

Roberto Pamich

The other member of Il Cattivo rushes out and goes after Karl, who has beaten Uliose senseless by now. Roberto is met with a hard punch to the face by Karl. Karl picks Roberto up and throws him out of the ring. He then picks up Uliose and also throws him out the ring. Karl then instructs Oli and Luke to hold Paul up, which they do. Karl slides out the ring, grabs a steel chair and enters the ring with it. Karl then starts pummeling Paul in the head with it until he is out cold. Both Oli and Luke pick Paul’s limp body up and toss him out the ring too.

Herb: Nice team effort by the Panzers and Luke

Oli and Karl both offer their hands to Luke, who reluctantly shakes both their hands. Luke goes to leave the ring, but both Oli and Karl hit him from behind and start stomping him down

Rob Turne

Rob, Luke’s brother, rushes down the ramp, grabs a steel chair, slides into the ring and nails Karl with it, taking him down. He then nails Oli with it, taking him down too. He goes back and forth hitting the Panzer brothers with the chairs for a minute or so until niether Panzer is moving. He then helps his brother Luke out the ring and to the back.

[Robareid]

Herb: And it's now time for our main event

Rich: Though why this guys in the main event is beyond me

Herb: Are you kidding me? Rob Rage is one of the most over guys in EWA. The fans love him, and he's amazing in the ring. What's not to like?

Rich: Well, his opponent for this Hardcore main event hasn't been announced yet, but whoever it is, I hope they beat the shit out'ta him

Rob Rage

Rich: Well I guess this means it’s main event time. Here comes Rob “The Eternal Failure” Rage

Herb: I think that’s way harsh. Rob’s not a failure; he’s a self-made guy who’s worked his way up from nowhere to a main event calibre star

Rich: Well let’s see. He lost his only ever World Championship match in his home country, he lost his Universal title to Alex Kidd, and he lost against Johnny Hot after saying for weeks that he was going to beat him, and he’s been in JBW for almost a year now and done absolutely nought. So yeah, I’d say a failure is a fair assessment. Oh, almost forgot, earlier tonight he got beaten up by a manager. An absolutely amazing manager, but he was a manager none the less.

Herb: Oh come on! Rage was still groggy from a huge spear from Smith, and then picked his spot with a cane. It still busted him open though, and he lost a lot of blood; having to have several stitches that are clearly visible now. Speaking of Croft’s Limited, Hanz Gruber laid out a challenge on the last Fury for a two out of three falls match, and Rob’s got a mic now. I wonder if he’s going to address it?

Rob sits down in the centre of the ring, full lotus style, and begins tapping the mic’s end on his hand. He then lifts it up to speak, then stops and itches at his stiches on his forehead from the attack earlier in the night

Rage: Ouch… Damn, I don’t think I’ve ever felt this banged up before a match, ever. And to make matters worse, it’s a hardcore match. But you know, shit happens. That’s the difference between Croft and his puppet Hanz against me, myself and I. Yep, that’s Rob Rage three times for those of you keeping score at home.

You see, I’m used to having the deck stacked against me. It happens so often, I just go out there and accept it. I accept it, and I overcome it. While if Hanz or Gerald has the odds stacked against them… oh God you’re in for a shit storm. They’ll bitch and complain until the cows come home. That’s because they’re so used to having the odds stacked in their favour. So when the time comes for the tables to be turned on them, it’s “a travesty”, a “miscarriage of justice”.

That’s also why when they do lose, when somebody does overcome the odds, they can’t handle it. They’re so used to coasting to victory, that when they do lose they explode. When somebody beats them, fair and square in the middle of the ring, they can’t just leave it at that.

That’s what has happened here. Rob Rage, that’s me by the way, took on Hanz Gruber at Bloodbath. It was a great contest, but in the end I showed the world why I am the Best of British and pinned you; one, two, three! You couldn’t leave it at that though, could you? You couldn’t just take the defeat. It ate you up inside, didn’t it? It ate you up, that the so called superior technician had been beaten. By me, a “philistine British commoner”, a “simpleton”. You couldn’t take it. So you cost me MY title match at Untamed Khaos, for no better reason than to get my attention.

You wanted my attention Hanz? Well son, you’ve got it! You want to challenge me to a match at the Clash? You want to challenge me to a two out of three falls match? Your speciality match? I’ve beaten you before Hanz, and I’m going to do it again. And I’m going to do it twice! Hanz, at Clash at the Colosseum I’m going to beat you at your own game. I accept.

So with that out the way, onto my match for tonight. Yeah, I’m a bit banged up. But hey, like I said, I never back down from a challenge. I actually hope it’s somebody impressive, because tonight, I fancy a fight! So get your ass out here!

Rich: Who’s it going to be?

A drumroll plays around the arena, before stopping suddenly. There is a few seconds of pause… before this music is played!

VAN HOOLIGAN X!

Van Hooligan X charges down the ramp and into the ring, and these two EWA originals begin trading blows, starting this big main event off

[Robareid]

Van Hooligan X = Randy Orton // Rob Rage = Sheamus

*watch up until 7:30*

With Rob’s leg trapped in the ropes and him hanging on the outside of the ring over the apron, Van Hooligan X lets out a sick smile on the outside. He looks across at Rage’s prone body, trapped by the twisted ring ropes above him, then looks down to the bottom of the ring

Herb: I don’t know what Van has in mind here, but I don’t like it one bit. Rob is completely defenceless, he needs to get free now or some serious damage could be done to him. They don’t call him a Hooligan for nothing.

Van Hooligan X reaches down and begins looking under the ring for something. After a few seconds he finds what he is looking for, and pulls out a full size wooden cricket bat.

Herb: Oh God, I can’t look

With Rob still trapped upside down, Van gets on his eyelevel, smiling sadistically just out of his reach as Rob swings widely at him, just missing every time. Van then rears back, and Robb frantically tries to free himself, but to no avail. Van impales Rage with the cricket bat right in the stomach, sending him into a coughing fit. Van then backs off for a few seconds, to leave Rob, who is still trapped, to writhe in his pain, and he even begins coughing up some blood.

Rich: This is getting a bit awkward to watch, even to me… Rob’s completely defenceless, and Van is basically torturing him.

Van isn’t done though. He follows up with a HUGE swing catching Rob on the side of the head right where Croft caught him with his cane earlier in the night, reopening the wound and causing his head to snap backwards awkwardly

Rich: HOLY SHIT! Rob’s got to have a concussion after that!

Herb: A concussion? Fucking hell, Rob’s necking could well be broken after that! He could be dead! What lengths is Van going to go to to win this match?

The crowd, who moments before were in uproar at this match have suddenly gone VERY quiet. It’s eerily quiet, as everyone in the arena is genuinely worried for Rage’s health at this point. That is, everybody apart from Van Hooligan X. He rolls into the ring and thankfully frees Rob’s leg from the ropes, and he limply drops down onto the apron; he’s not moving at all.

Herb: The ref really should just call the match right here; Rob’s not moving

Van isn’t in any hurry with rolling Rob from the apron into the middle of the ring, but eventually he flops down onto him and makes the cover. The ref makes the count

One!

Herb: It’s really academic at this point

Two!

Rich: Forget a three count, you could count to three hundred

Thre-

Herb: OH MY GOD! HOW DID HE KICK OUT?

Rich: That was truly the definition of a last second kickout, the ref’s hand was literally millimetres away from meeting the mat for the third time when Rob just managed to slip a shoulder up off the mat. Look at Van Hooligan, he can’t believe it any more than we can

Herb: He’s in utter shock. Sure, it was somewhat of a lackadaisical cover, but still. Van Hooligan damn near killed Rob, how did he manage to get a shoulder up?

Van’s mouth is wide open staring incredulously into space. He’s in complete and utter shock. He doesn’t even bother arguing with the official, as he too felt Rob just sneak a shoulder up at the last second. Finally he snaps out of it, shakes his head, then rolls over to the edge of the ring and retrieves his trusty cricket bat. He then makes his way up and sizes Rob up, imitating a batter at the crease, waiting for him to get up. Rob’s still barely moving, but slowly, ever so slowly, Rage begins to make his way over to the ropes and pull himself up.

Herb: As amazing as it was, I’m not sure Rob should have kicked out there. I get it, he’s got amazing heart, but this could end badly for the Brit. Real badly.

Rob finally gets up onto his feet, and staggers into the contre of the ring. Van comes out of the corner charging, and takes a huge swing at Rage with the bat but Rob, showing some awareness, ducks underneath. Van quickly goes for a backswing but Rob gets a boot up and knocks the bat out of Van’s hands over to the corner of the ring, then quickly follows up with a roaring elbow, knocking the Vanity down. He falls down into the cover.

One!

Rich: Could this be it?

Two!

Th- No, Van powers a shoulder up at two and a half!

Rich: Was that Rob’s last gasp? Was that his last little flurry?

Rage and Van both get up at the same time, using each other to pull themselves up. Once both on their feet, they have a stare down in the centre of the ring, nose to nose, before beginning to trade clubbing forearms

Van!

Rage!

Van!

Rage!

Van!

Rage!

Van!

Van!

Van!

After that last forearm, Van has Rage staggered. He takes a step backwards, then hits a spinning back-fist sending Rob tumbling down to the mat. Instead of going for the cover, Van drops to the mat and rolls out of the ring

Herb: Oh no, what now?

Van Hooligan X pulls a steel chair out from under the ring, and re-enters the ring with it. Rob is groggily back on his feet, and Van goes for a big swinging chair shot but Rob ducks and the chair flies down to the mat. With Van’s momentum taking him so that he’s now facing away from his opponent, Rage quickly takes advantage grabbing a waist lock then German suplexes him over onto the chair Van just dropped!

One!

Herb: What a move!

Two!

Rich: Is it over?

Thre- No! This time it’s Van’s turn to get the shoulder up at the last second

Herb: What a match this has been. These two men have hit each other with absolutely everything. Rob is bleeding everything, Van looks near crippled from that suplex, and it’s still not finished!

Rob slowly pulls himself back up, pulling Van up with him. He whips Van into the corner but Van, in an amazing show of athleticism after the beat down he’s taken, jumps up from the mat onto the top turnbuckle in one fluid motion. However, before he can actually do anything Rob runs in and knocks out his legs, crotching him up top. Van swivels himself around, looking to get down, only to be met with the steel chair that he brought into the ring being thrown at full pelt right into his face.

Rich: Did you hear that! Look, now Van’s busted open!

Van Hooligan is now too bleeding from the head, and looks completely out of it. The force of the chair shot has sent him bent over backwards, with the only thing holding him on the top being his feet hooked under section where the two top ropes meet. With Van suspended upside down on the turnbuckle leaning out of the ring, Rage exits the ring and it’s his turn to search under it

Herb: What the hell is Rage looking for? I mean, what possibly else could he want. There’s already a chair, a kendo stick, the steel steps and a cricket bat out here, what more could he want

A table! Rage pulls out a table from under the ring and slides it under the bottom rope into the ring. He then follows it in and sets it up in a normal table position just next to the turnbuckle Van Hooligan is dangling off of.

Herb: Oh God, this is going to end badly for somebody

Rich: At this point, I know I’d just want it to end. This has been brutal

Herb: For once Rich I’m in full agreement with you. Totally horrific

Rob then steps past the table and starts climbing up the turnbuckle. He gets to the top and reaches down to pull up Van from his prone position. What he didn’t realise though, is that Van has grasped the cricket bat that ended up next to the ring post earlier in the match, and when Rob reaches down to pull him up for whatever he has in mind, Van swings the bat and catches Rob square in his already bleeding face! Rob’s nose explodes and he falls backwards, down through the table that he set up!

Herb: Come on, it’s got to be over now. Rob is a bloody wreck, just cover him and get this over with

Rich: We’ve said that before in this match though

Van does a sit up from upside down, and manages to free his legs. He drops down onto the apron, then re-enters the ring. He grabs onto Rob by the hair, stares deep into his vacant eyes, and shows that sick sadistic smile that was there earlier in the match. He then let’s go of him, and goes over to the chair and sets it up. He then drags Rage over to it, and jams his head through the gap between the seat and the back, so that his chest is resting on the seat section of steel. Van then hooks Rob in the Vantastic Clutch (Gorilla Clutch) while his head is trapped in the chair!

Rob is screaming out in pain, as this brutal hold seems to have brought him back to his senses. His neck is being bent the wrong way by the steel chair with Van applying pressure from behind, yanking forward on his legs. Rob tries to crawl towards the ropes, but after around twenty seconds of total agony and little progress he gives up. His hand lifts up into the air, and there is a momentary pause…

He taps!

[Robareid]

Van releases the hold, and drops down to the mat in sheer exhaustion. His hands are raised above his head in celebration, partly just because this brutal match is over, but mainly because he's the one who has come out on the winning side.

Herb: What. A. Match!

Rich: Holy shit that was epic. That was like the definition of Hardcore. That was simply amazing!

Herb: This phrase is completely overused, but it just so fits this situation. These two men gave it absolutely everything they had out here tonight. We won't be forgetting this match in a hurry

Rich: It could have gone either way, but in the end it was Van who picked up the victory. Huge win for the Hooligan, could it be something that catapults this three time world champion to yet more gold?

*Van brushes himself down and realises Rob is still lifeless in the middle of the ring, he begins to kick the side of Rob until he falls out of the ring. Van proceeds to spit in the area of Rob and walks back into the centre of the ring after getting a mic from the side.*

You mean to tell me, that the best wrestler by far on this roster is not only not in the world championship contention but not even in a fucking match?! What the fuck! I am the top star on Fury, I'm not matched by anyone! Not on the mic, not in the ring and not in success either!

This is the fucking main event before Clash at the Colosseum for fuck sake! How am I not headlining it! I made Ryan "The #1 Contender" Wells leave Fury, I ended Broc in EWA! I demand respect god damnit! *The boos are easily the biggest heat reception on tonights Fury.* You can boo as louder as you want. You watching at home and in the audience know the threat I bring and the destruction I've caused! I-- *Van looks to his left to see Rob Rage looking groggy but managing to stay on his feet. Van has other plans as he rolls out of the ring and places the mic to the side, looks under the ring to grab a steel chair and twats Rob Rage in the back of the head, laying him out cold and the boos multiplying. Van gets his mic and lays down next to Rob in a relaxed pose like this statue:



I'm issuing an open challenge at Clash at the Colosseum. If anyone has the balls to take me on, get ready for the fight of your life!

*Van drops the mic on Rob and he stares happily at the lifeless body of Rage, the EWA logo pops up followed by a black screen.*