EWA: Elite Wrestling Alliance Show Thread

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EWA OFFICIAL THEME SONG- I’m a Gun- Shotgun Messiah
Pyro goes off and PAIN! Logo is on the eTron *Crowd is pumped up
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PAIN! Episode 2

Harry: Hello everyone and welcome to the second episode of EWA PAIN!. I am Harry Esel calling the action here on PAIN! along with my colleague Carter Davis. We are coming to you from the Metro Radio Arena in beautiful Newcastle, England. Tonight we continue with the second round of the tournament to crown the first PAIN! Heavyweight World Champion- with the winners going on to fight for the belt at Untamed Khaos. Our GM Horus Black will not be here tonight as he is flying on to Fury’s next show.

Carter: I am psyched to be here in EWA, as it is the fastest growing fed around. The talent on both Fury and here on PAIN! are the best in the business. Some of the guys on Carnage are great too and I expect big things for them when they move on to PAIN! or Fury.

Harry: I know, some of those guys are already stars in other feds like HWA and BWA, so I am sure they will move up soon.

Carter: And seeing that Herbie and Rich are too lazy to call two shows- we got the call up. They suck anyways, so it’s no big lost to the fans watching tonight.

Harry: Actually they are both great commentators, Herbie is a nice guy, but Rich is kind of a douche bag. The guys calling Carnage seem nice too.

Carter: Nah, they all suck donkey dicks. Anyways to start off the show we will hear from the four men in the semifinals for the belt- Mike Muir, Gaileo, Ryku O’Ryan and Raden Blain. They will be interviewed by our resident hottie Faith LeFuckme.

Harry: That wasn’t nice.

Carter: What? She has a great rack, a killer ass. Looks like she could be Candice Michelles twin.

Harry: Yeah, but that still was not nice. And her last name is Leflur.

* Blain walks out on the stage first, followed by O’Ryan, followed by Gaileo and finally Muir. PAIN! interviewer Faith Leflur walks out next and goes over to Muir first.

Faith: Mike. you are in a semi final match with Gaileo tonight and the winner will go on to fight O’Ryan or Blain at the PPV. What are your thoughts going into your match and what do you have to say about the tournament so far?

Mike Muir: Well first I would like to welcome you to EWA Faith, hope everybody is making you feel at home here.

Faith: Why thank you, that was very sweet.

Carter: Wait a minute, is he hitting on her? Dammit, she wouldn’t even talk to me backstage.

Harry: No, Muir is just being a nice guy. And you were kind of stalking her.

Carter: I just wanted her number and I was just following her around, not stalking..

Mike Muir: No problem Faith. Everybody in the tournament has worked their asses off so far, with the best rising to the top. It’s down to the four of us up here on the stage. Tonight I have to take on this man *points to Gaileo, who made a very big statement last week on PAIN! against Fuegos Artificiales. And on the New Years Super show he also put on a good showing against The Archangel. But before that match you *points at Gaileo again took things a bit too far. How dare you attack the fans.

*Crowd is chanting Gaileo sucks, Gaileo sucks!

Harry: Yeah, I got to agree, he took it too far.

Carter: Just looked like he was having fun. Those fans were a bunch of fat slobs- like most Americans.

Harry: um, we are both Americans


Carter: Yeah, but you are fat-ish while I am a sexy beast.

Harry: Yeah right.

Mike Muir: I am glad I am taking you on tonight. I fight for the fans; I would never insult them like you did in New York. The fans are the reason we are here, they paid good money to see us put on a great show. They are the reason we get paid. You are just lucky Mr. Black has not banned your ass for what you did.

Carter: Blah Blah Blah. Wake me up when he is finished.

Mike Muir: But enough about Gaileo, I would like to say something about these other two guys * points to O’Ryan and Blain - O’Ryan is someone I have a hell of a lot of respect for. He has had a pretty rough life but look at where he is now. He owes a lot to Shawn Michaels for his training, but from what I have seen from him in the ring, he is now right up there with The Heartbreak Kid. Now Blain is another story, sure he is a big guy, and yes he also had a rough life, but this guy is twisted. I am not much for religion myself, I mean I believe in God and all, but I never go to church. But this guy takes it too far. Take all that away and he is a very impressive athlete for his size, but I am not afraid of him. That said, I will win this tournament and will be honored to represent this company as its first PAIN! World Champion.

*Crowd is cheering for Muir.

Faith: Well good luck Mike.

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*Muir shakes her hand and is about to walk backstage when Gaileo gives him a shove in the back. Faith backs out the way just in time to not be knocked down, then steps off to the side. Muir gets into Gaileo’s face and it looks like a fight is about to break out. Security comes out and separates the two. Two of them walk Muir backstage, while the other 5 stay on stage.

Carter: That Gaileo has some balls, I like that.

Harry: You like men with balls?

Carter: Well yeah, you know what I mean.

*Faith walks reluctantly up to Gaileo now.

Faith: Gaileo, I know you were trying to make a statement there, but you could have saved it for the ring. That said, I have to ask you, what is on your mind?

Gaileo: Let me tell you something Faith. At the EWA New Year's Super show - I bodyslammed a 22 stone man. That's 308lbs. That's more than Mick Foley and he's one of the fattest World Champions ever.

Carter: See, Foley is a great example of a fat American.

Harry: He may be a bit on the heavy side now, but look at him in his prime


Carter: Yeah, he was fat then too. Now he is so fat the only job he could get was calling the action on a HWA show- that’s a big fall from grace from when he was in TNA and WWE.

Harry: I like HWA though. And Foley was on RAW the other day,

Gaileo: I destroyed Michael "The Archangel" completely that night, so much that he had to resort to poking me in the eye, so he can hit the STO. But let's talk about this tournament tonight. Mike Muir or, as I prefer to call you - my 1st victim, you think you can beat me. YOU THINK YOU CAN STOP THE GAILEO EXPRESS. BECAUSE I'VE GOT NEWS FOR YOU BROTHER - when I'm in the drivers seat - no one can stop me. No one can stop the Gaileo Express you can only hope to delay it. You are from Mississippi right... well did you know Mississippi is an anagram of YOU HAVE NO TALENT. In the ancient language of Toycalona Mike Muir is a translation of... CRAP. Also the superkick - your finisher - translates as... Pearl Necklace. So while your trying to give me a pearl necklace I'm too busy whooping your ass to become the new PAIN World Champion.

Carter: Ok, gotta say I really like this guy. And he is right, Muir is crap. My friend gave me a pearl necklace once.

Harry: What?

Gaileo: Raden Blain, Raden Blain. Priests beat you. I bet my EWA contract that that's not all they did to you. Raised by anti-religiests? So basically, you were raised by some people who the only way to get noticed was eliminate God from the World. News flash for you, I'm not here to get rid of God - I just want to fight him. I don't want to eliminate him, because he provided more of a challenge to me than anyone on the Pain Roster. You've killed 1 man, well I've killed 34. I killed my mum, my sister, and even my baby brother for stealing the attention away from me. You can stab me with a knife, you can shoot me with a gun, but each time I will come back stronger. But at the end of the day, it will be my hands around your throat, and your blood on my hands.

Carter: I looove this guy, in a non homo way of course. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

Gaileo: Ryku O'Ryan. Ryku, Ryku, Ryku. Who calls their son Ryku? Who keeps this name, when they have achieved so much. And when I say that you have achieved so much, what I really mean is that your able to dress yourself in the morning. But after I get in the ring with you, that won't be true anymore. You were trained by the "HeartBreak Kid" Shawn Michaels? Well I have a message for you saying that when I humiliate you, well even Religious HBK wouldn't take you in after this. In fact he would Superkick your Ass. Now, you fancy yourself as a "hard man" which, I guess you are when your in the ring with Men. Let me give you a little Rap

Ryku O'Ryan from the Isle of Man
When I obliterate you, I may get a ban.
An orphan you grew up oh boo hoo I'm sad
When I kick your ass cool youngsters will think I'm incredibly Rad.
We Know about HBK you say it enough
You think your so good, well your not at all tough
When you stink the place up it's smells like bad gas
Well you won't be laughing soon when I kick your ass.

TAKE THAT BITCHES!

Faith: uhhh ok, Thank you and good luck Gaileo.


*Gaileo gets in Faiths face and just stares at her for a few seconds before Ryku grabs his arm and Faith stands on the other side of Ryku. Gaileo then gets in Ryku’s face for a few seconds, they exchange a few words, then Gaileo finally heads backstage, bumping O’Ryan’s shoulder on the way.

Carter: Dude, this guy can do it all. Wrestle, Rap. He is like a bad ass John Cena with actual wrestling talent.

Harry: Just what we need, another wrestler who thinks he can sing. And I like Cena.

Faith: * a little shaken- Ryku, What are your thoughts?


Ryku O’Ryan: Wow... that Galieo.. That was interesting for sure fella, but all I heard was you running your mouth, and that doesn't really impress me. It doesn't matter to me if I have to face you Gaileo, Mike Muir or Raiden Bain, I will win it all! I will beat anyone who stand in front of me and thats just how it is fella. I will Superkick or Pedigree each and very single one of you if I have to because that is how badly I want this! You got me fella?

Faith: Thank you and good luck tonight Ryku.

O’Ryan stares up Blain, who does not budge. Blain just has a look of determination on his face. O’Ryan finally walks backstage. Crowd is cheering for O’Ryan.

Carter: Not a man of many words but I love that ‘fella’ thing he does. Probably picks up a lot of bitches with that, I need to try that.

Harry: He doesn’t need a lot of words. The man’s action in the ring speaks for itself. He took Hanz Gruber to the limit on the Super Show.

Carter: Yeah but he lost. Gruber rules anyways.

Faith: * she slips off her shoes and stands on her tippy toes and holds to mic to Blain’s mouth- Ok, Blain, you have heard from all the other guys, what ar……

*Blain rips the mic from Faith’s hand and begins talking, Faith runs backstage. The crowd is already booing him.

Raden Blain: Ha! Ha! Ha! You all are nothing but parasites. It does not matter to me which of you I face because the end result will be the same. I shall win and be that much closer to my ultimate goal of removing a false god! You all will praise the dark prince and serve him for the remainder of your pathetic lives. You can run your mouths all you want it will have no effect on me. I shall win this and then the championship. Now let this commence!

*Blain then stares at the crowd for about a minute, the fans are still booing him. He then throws the mic down *BOOM and slowly walks to the back.

Carter: Dude, I love this guy too. And you heard him. Let it commence. He could have just said those three words and spread fear into the other three guys, all the other guys backstage, the fans and you Harry.

Harry: And what, he does not scare you?

Carter: Nah, I think he is awesome. His one match I have seen won me over. I got hard watching him and tonight will be no different. In fact I have a boner right now just from hearing him speak. Not many men can do that to me.

Harry: What?

Carter: Oh my God, did I say that out loud?

Harry: uh Yeah you did. Ok, now that we have heard from them all we will go to a commercial break. When we come back our first match tonight will be Mike Muir vs Gaileo with the winner going on to Untamed Khaos and hopefully being named the first champion of this brand. Our main event tonight will be between the other two semi-finalist- Blain and O’Ryan. And the lovely Barbie Panzer, manager of the Panzer Division on Fury, will join us on commentary.

Carter: How lucky are we? That bitch is smokin hot. Did you see what she did on Fury? That ass! The things I would love to do to it and eat off it.

[eyehatecena]

………………..COMMERCIAL BREAK………

Get your EWA Ice Cream Bars at your local markets- they are made out of the finest Swiss and German chocolates and the richest vanilla known to man.


* Barbie Panzer is now at the announcer’s table sitting between Harry and Carter.

Harry: Ok we are back on PAIN! Joining us is Barbie Panzer, Welcome to PAIN. What brings you here?

Barbie: Thank you Harry. I am just here to scout some talent, as I would like to add to my clientele. Horus Black was nice enough to let me come on the show tonight. You guys are lucky to have him as a GM here on PAIN! Oh and hello Carter.

Carter: Well hello babe. After the show do you want to have sex?

Barbie: Do not ever make the mistake of calling me babe again and don’t even think of hitting on me again, you’re not my type. I like real men, and that you are not.

Carter: * sounding very pathetic- But, I, uh, I’m a sexy beast


Barbie: You’re a loser! Oh and Harry, you know what your last name means in German?

Harry: uh no.

*Barbie whispers ‘ass’ in his ear. Harry blushes

Carter: I want to know! I want to know!


Barbie: Oh shut up. Lets just see what these guys can do in the ring.

Harry: um, Ok lets get started with the action.

He’s Mississippi born and bred, and a win here tonight will put him one match away from becoming a World Champion

Harry: Here comes Mike Muir, one of our four semi finalists

Barbie: Good looking guy and very sweet to me backstage, I have been impressed with him over the last two weeks. I see big things for him in the future.

Carter: What, like your tits? Besides first to come out, first to be eliminated. I’m calling it now.

Harry: Well we’ll soon see. It’s certainly no easy task…

Here comes the insane one, Gaileo

Harry: … because this guy is certainly no pushover. Clinically insane, ultra-violent and at least two fries short of a happy meal yes, but a pushover, no way.

Carter: Two fries short of a happy meal? More like two fries, a burger and the toy short of a happy meal. I love McDonalds toys.

Barbie: Guys, always talking about two things, food and sports.

Carter: I talk about sex a lot too, like non stop.

Muir Vs Gaileo



*Stop at 7:20*

Carter: Gaileo kicks out! I knew he would.

Muir looks at the ref in disbelief, before going back to the corner and sizing up Gaileo in the corner

Harry: If he hits what I think he’s going for, it could well be over,

Carter: You actually just said nothing!

Gaileo makes his way back up, and Mike goes for a superkick, but Gaileo ducks and runs the ropes hitting a big knee on Muir as he turns around.

Harry: It could be over.

Carter: That fence comfy Harry?

1


Barbie: Come on Muir, kick out.

2

Muir kicks out!

Carter: Dammit Barbie.

Gaileo is going crazy at the ref. The ref makes the mistake of pushing the crazy mo’fo when he gets in his face, and is rewarded by a clubbing blow to the head knocking him out of the ring.

Harry: DQ him!

Carter: He can’t DQ him if he’s out.

Gaileo slides out of the ring and pulls a chair from under it.

Harry: A match of this importance shouldn’t end like this.

Carter: A job of this importance shouldn’t be given to the likes of you, but it does.

Gaileo gets back into the ring, and holds the chair above his head in anticipation to nail Muir.

Carter: This connects and it will be over.

However Ryku O’Ryan has paced it down the ramp and onto the apron and just as Gaileo’s backswing reaches its furthest, O’Ryan pulls it from his grasp.

Barbie: That Ryku is yummy. Mmmm.

Carter: What the fuck is he doing down here? He has absolutely nothing to do with this match.

Harry: He may be facing the winner.

Carter: Good point, well made fucknuts.

Gaileo is shouting and screaming at O’Ryan, but he just signals for him to turn around.

He does, straight into a superkick from Muir.

The ref is back in the ring.

One

Two

Three

Barbie: Yay for Muir! *she starts to jump up and down in her seat, Carter just stares at her chest.

Harry: Wow great match between these two, if not for O’Ryan, Muir would have been finished.

Carter: All of Muir’s victories have either been lucky or tainted. This guy stinks. He needs to go back to Mississippi and live out the rest of his life screwing his sister or his cousins. Fucking redneck inbreeds down there. He is….

*Barbie slaps Carter

Carter: OUCH!


Barbie: Jesus Christ, I thought the British were rude. It was a great back and forth match. Muir won, plain and simple. He has what it takes to make it here in EWA, as does Gaileo. So far Muir is probally the only undefeated guy in EWA- not too shabby.

Carter: Did you say shaggy? As in ‘to shag’? Isn’t that the the term they use here in England meaning to fu…..

*Barbie raises her hand to slap him again- Carter flinches

Harry: Ok you two settle down. Carter, stop being a dick. Lets send it to Faith whom is backstage with F.A.N.

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Faith: Thank you Harry. I am back here with F.A.N. which is made up of Taco and Paco of Fuegos Artificiales along with Harry Richards. Paco, you are facing Alpha tonight. Are you nervous?

Paco: No, in fact I are more than ready. Both me brother and me won our first match here in EWA on the New Years Supershow along with our friend here, Harry Richards. I think we are on a jellyroll. I are going at it alone tonight while Harry is taking on Silva- that weirdo guy. Seeing how good we all did in New York, We are sure to all win tonight. Harry has made us more gooder as wrestlers.

Taco: It’s I am, not I are and it’s on a roll and better as wrestlers.

Paco: Thats what I said. I know how to work against our Alpha though, I will do what we do best- which is to fly high and take them out when they least expect it.

Taco: Flying high is what we do best * Paco chuckles*

Paco: And why do you feel the need to correct me? Everybody knows what me sayses.

Taco: Says, not sayses. I just figured we would fit in better here if we learned to speak English better.

Paco: But me no like to speak always in English- its too hard to learning it.

Taco: To learn it.

Faith: Ok, whatever... Harry your opponent tonight is Silva. What is your game plan against him?

Harry: Well, as the saying goes, if it ain’t broke don’t change it. I’m going in with the exact same game plan as last time I faced Silva, it worked then didn’t it. I’m going to stick and move, and as Booker T would say, stay on my bicycle. I’ll be everywhere at once, hitting that psycho from every angle. He’s not going to know what has hit him.

Paco: Well isn’t that kinda obvious… you. Surely even he’s not that stupid.

Harry: *sighs* What did I do wrong to end up with you guys?

Taco: This is a sarcasm phrase si?

Harry: Less than you may think.

Paco: Well that’s all good then amigo. Let’s go!

*As F.A.N. leave, Faith just shakes her pretty head in disbelief.

Carter: A bunch of jobbers. They could no even lace my boots.

Harry: You are wearing dress shoes you idiot, why I don’t know as you are also wearing jeans and a t shirt.

Carter: uhh, I was in a rush.

Barbie: Richards seems like a sweet kid, but that’s all he is- a kid. He has not had a lot of luck in EWA as of late. Hopefully that will change soon. What he really needs to do is stop listening to Rob Rage. When he does that- the sky is the limit for him. My good friend Hanz is going to destroy that bastard Rage. As far as the Torres brothers, they are a joke. I couldn’t care less about any other tagteam except my brothers.

Carter: Nobody should have to listen to Rob Rage. Thank God we do not have to see his ugly mug here on PAIN! Richards must still be a virgin when it comes to females. Barbie, maybe you could help him out with that.

Barbie raises her hand to slap him again, Carter flinches again

Carter: And Rage is playing around with this kid Richards? Must be some kind of pedophile. And he is, what? 12?

Harry: I think he is around 16 or 17. He is impresssive in the ring even if his win-loss record does not show that. Rob Rage has taught him a lot and I think him hanging out with Taco and Paco will do wonders for his career. Well lets go to another commercial break. When we come back we will hear from Alpha and Destruction.

…………….COMMERCIAL BREAK…………

Watch our newest EWA interview show- Point of Convergence.


Faith walks into Alpha and Destructions locker room, where it looks like they are going over some kind of game plan. They don’t get up.

Faith: Ok, I am here with Alpha and Destruction, guys, um guys, can you please stand up as I need to interview the both of you. Please guys. Hello, I am up here. Guys? I am trying to do my job. Hello??

*Alpha and Destruction ignore her, so the cameraman kneels down to their level, while Faith gets on her knees.

Carter: Just how I like my bitches, down on their knees and ready to please.

Harry: That was uncalled for. Barbie you can hit him now- *which she does

Carter: Ouch! Shit, what did I do?


Faith: Ok guys, can you please tell me what you guys have to say about tonights match?


*Alpha and Destruction are in the Gorrila Position and finally decide to talk, they look directly into the camera now*

Alpha: Hello EWA, and welcome, to the Alpha House. You all saw what happened a the new years supershow, we pummeled F.A.N into the ground, we kicked them into next week. They only won with a roll-up. we dominated the opposition. Now listen to me F.A.N - today Destruction and I have got a match with Paco and Taco, both of whom may I say, sucks worst than the millionsoand millions of actual wrestlers. FAN when we're done with you, somebody better call ya mama


Carter: Love them.

Harry: Why do all the heel commentators say that, anyway I'll follow the pattern - Hate Them!

Carter: Asshole.

Harry: At least there is not a male reproductive organ in mine.

Carter: Yet your the one suffering from anal bleeding.

Harry: Stealing lines from Michael Cole - an all time low.

Carter: How could you not love Michael Cole donkey - ho ho Vintage Davis.

Barbie: Guys, shut the fuck up. And Harry, what has gotten into you?

Back on Topic

Harry: Mexicans - how could you not fall in love with them?

Carter: Isn't it Mexicans who invented pin the tail on the donkey?

Harry: What does that have to do with anything?

Carter: I speak fluent German.

Harry: Ass.

Carter: No, that's you

Harry: I know you are but what am I?

Carter: A Child

Harry: I know you are but what am I?

Barbie: You both are acting like children, Harry, don’t let Carter rub off on you, you are better than that dammit.

[eyehatecena]

Funky Music For A Serious Tag Team

Carter: Scared of Destruction?

Harry: A Bit - The music doesn't make him scary at all though.

Carter: Well, they can tell that you’re not sexy - and you know it.

Harry: Cock.

Carter: Do you really want to start this argument again?

Harry: Let's just get on with the match.

Barbie: Its about time you guys stopped your shit. I was about to leave.

Carter: *starts to tear up. Please don’t.

​Alpha vs Paco

(Dolph/Alpha) (Kofi/Paco)


Carter: And Paco flies and misses.

Harry: However much I dislike Alpha Romao, smart move there.

*Alpha goes for the sharpshooter but Paco reverses into a small package*

One

Two

Thr...

Harry: Destruction pulled the referee out the ring.

Carter: Great Tactics

*Referee calls for the bell*

Carter: What the hell? he never handled a wrestler.

Harry: But he did to the referee.

Carter: So what, screw the referee.

Harry: That's not a very nice thing to say about a person of authority.

*Destruction clothesline the referee, then get's into the ring and throws Paco over the top rope*

Carter: Ouch, a bad landing.

Harry: Where's Taco when you need him?

Carter: I know right, I'm starving here.

Harry: Not the food you Wally, the wrestler Taco, Paco’s brother.

Carter: Speak Of the Devil.

*Taco comes out but walks straight into a FTW from Destruction, a BTH from Alpha, a Houston Hangover from Destruction, and finally a Alpha End All from Romao*

Harry: The man's tapping, let him go!

Carter: Make him suffer, make him suffer, we want blood!!!!

Harry: Yeah but not from Paco.

Carter: Pussy

*Alpha releases and they both walk to the back leaving Taco suffering in the ring

Barbie: Thanks a lot guys, I didn’t even get a word in. Sucks Paco got the win as I think both Torres brothers suck- as a team and solo.

Harry: Ok, while I admit it is fun watching the brothers get beat up, we need to move on. So lets send it back to Faith again. She is backstage with Silva who will be taking on Harry Richards in the next match of the night.

Faith: Silva, you are taking on Har….

*Silva puts his finger on Faith’s lips, shutting her up. She now just stands there with the mic to Silva’s mouth.

Silva:
Every move you initiate
Is towards gaining you power.
It is the motto of your ego.
Fire spreads by eating the fuel.
Life stays by burning the food.
Ego stands by swaying others.
Where is fire if there is no fuel?
Where is life if there is no food?
Where is ego if there is no second person?

Ego keeps you and propels you.
Ego spares you and rescues you.
Its action is gaining power,
With which only it’s effective.
To beat or evade the rivals,
To snatch or catch for livelihood,
And to corner and keep sex mates,
The ego seeks to have power.
The ego keeps you viable
To fight to get or possess.

To get power is of instincts
That manifests in child’s action.
Playing toys, it manipulates them.
Fighting pears, it finds its strength.
Fighting foes, it asserts its right.
To imitate is to feel high.
To cry is to get back the lost.
To explore is to train its skill.
Loving mother is feeling safe.
Fearing is guarding the self.

Every act done, right or wrong,
Every skill learnt, good or bad,
Every show made, worth or worse,
Are all towards gaining a hold.,
However when you surrender to the might
Is to be a part of the might.
The poorest of the poor
And the richest of the rich
Would find their way to stand afloat.
To kill ego is to kill the self.

*Silva just walks away leaving Faith dumbfounded

Faith: * talking to the cameraman- What the fuck? Fucking weirdo.

[eyehatecena]

Harry: Faith, you are still live on camera.

Faith: My apologies.

Carter: Love it when the bitches talk dirty.

*Barbie smacks Carter in the face with her mic, giving him a nose bleed.

Harry: Dammit, you two need to calm down, Carter try being respectful for a change. Ok, lets get the match started



It’s the Concorde!

Carter: Spooky

Harry: Very true Carter, he makes my skin crawl. I don’t envy my namesake having to take him on

Carter: I wouldn’t envy Harry even if he wasn’t facing Silva, he’s a skinny British knob head

Harry: Don’t sugar coat it Carter, tells us what you really think

Carter: I did…

Harry: *sigh*

Harry has made his way out and is slapping hands with the fans. Suddenly, Silva runs down the ramp and knocks him down with a big boot to the back of the head

Carter: Yeah! Kill that skinny assed punk kid fool!

Harry: What the hell? I was really looking forward to that match, and it was one of the huge draws for the show and Silva ruins it.

Carter: You’re such a stuck up pussy ass dick!

Harry: You’ve really been thinking long and hard about these insults.

Carter: Lol

Harry: What?

Carter: You said long and hard.

Harry: *Facepalm*

Barbie: Assholes.

Silva hammers down on Richards with some clubbing forearms, before locking on his signature sleeper hold

Harry: Oh my God, Jesus Christ! Why does everybody around here seem to think that it’s okay to just go around here and lock on sleepers to their opponents?

Carter: Blasphemer! And maybe because they realise that our security team can’t undo a sleeper

Right on cue, the PAIN! security team runs down the ramp and starts attempting to pull Silva off of Richards

Carter: Well you just know this is going to take a while. So let’s take a commercial break

Barbie: Poor kid.

……………………..COMMERCIAL BREAK………………

Watch EWA Carnage, Fury and PAIN!

[eyehatecena]

Harry: Ok we are back. Now for our main event of the evening. Raiden Blain versus Ryku O’Ryan.

And here comes the Fella

*O’Ryan comes out to massive cheers, stops by to talk to a few fans, then enters the ring.

Barbie: That O’Ryan, he is from the Ilse of Man right? If all the men from there look like him, that’s where I have to take my vacation.

Harry: Well EWA does have a stop there within the next few weeks.

Carter: Ilse of Men? Almost sounds like a gay mans resort or something. LOL

Barbie: So you should love it then Carter.

Carter: Hell yeah, I’m gonna get me some ass there, oh wait, what did you say Barbie?

Barbie: I said you would like it there with all the hot women that live there.

Carter: Oh, yeah, hot ass, an island of men, here I come.

Barbie and Harry can barely contain their themselves.

*The arena goes dark- a dim light comes on around the stage area, followed by smoke…….

Awe, He a Big Scary Man

* The lights come back on and Raden Blain makes his way slowly to the ring accompanied by about ten hooded figures. Blain enters the ring while the ten men gather near the Spanish announcing table.

Barbie: He is a great wrestler, but damn he gives me the creeps.

Carter: He gives me a bo…

Harry: Don’t say what you are thinking Carter.

Carter: um, yeah, thanks Harry.

Barbie: I actually hope O’Ryan wins this one. O’Ryan versus Muir sounds like the perfect match. Two yummy guys going at it in the ring. Mmmm, I’m getting wet thinking about that. Mmmmmm. Is it hot in here?

Harry: I uh, I uh uh

As the match starts Carter starts singing very badly ‘When I think of you I touch myself, oh I touch myself, oh I’m touching myself, if I don’t get laid tonight I will touch myself, oh I don’t know the words to this song so I will just touch myself *he keeps singing this over and over- while Barbie and Harry are just ignoring him.

O’Ryan v Blain




*stop watching around 12:45, watch until double clothesline

Both men attempt a clothesline which knocks both men to the mat. Blain slowly gets up and is groggy. Carter is still singing.

Barbie: Ok Carter, enough is enough, you can stop singing now.

Carter: Ok, I had finished a few minutes ago anyways. Uhhhh, oh shit, I forgot we are live.

Barbie: Ewww, you weren’t…….

Harry: Have you no shame Carter?

O’Ryan crawls to the ropes and pulls himself up, then leans into the corner with his back towards the ringpost.

Blain, no longer groggy, rushes towards the corner where O’Ryan is, only to eat a Superkick.

The Superkick knocks Blain into the ref. Now both the ref and Blain are out.

Carter: COME ON BLAIN, get up!


O’Ryan checks on the ref- who is not moving. As he is doing that the ten hooded men surround the ring and get on the ring apron.

Barbie: This doesn’t look good.

Harry: This is no fair, why the hell are these guys even out here?

Carter: YES! Destroy Ryku.

Seeing this, O’Ryan readies himself for an attack. The hooded man directly in front of O’Ryan starts to enter the ring and Ryku starts to go after him. At the same time Gaileo rushes into the ring from behind Ryku with a chair in hand and wacks him in the head, knocking him out.

Harry: What is Gaileo doing out here? Guess his lost to Muir earlier didn’t set well with him. Kind of a little payback to O’Ryan for his interference earlier.

Carter: Ya think?

Gaileo then bails out the ring and walks backstage- laughing all the way. The hooded men jump down off the ring apron.

Blain finally sits up-, then stands up. He nudges the ref who is also coming to/ The ref finally gets to his feet.

Blain walks over to O’Ryan’s semi limp body, picks him up and slams him down. He then goes for the cover.

One

Two

Carter: Come on fella, kickout ha ha.

Thr….

O’Ryans raises his right shoulder of the mat, stopping the count.

Carter: Dammit, I was just kidding.

Barbie: Really thought Blain had the pin there, but O’Ryan still has some fight in him.

Blain is frustrated, arguing with the ref for about a minute until he sees O’Ryan trying to get on his feet. Blain rushes towards him, O’Ryan goes for the superkick again but Blain stops short of eating yet another superkick.

Harry: Holey moley guacamole, Ryku almost got him again.

Carter: Huh? Anyways Blain saw that superkick coming, he is not stupid.

Blain grabs O’Ryan by his hair, and lifts his fist back to hit him. O’Ryan, still a little groggy, knees Blain in his gut twice bringing him to his knees.

O’Ryan sets Blain up for the Pedigree but Blain easily gets free as O’Ryan is still a little groggy.

Harry: Ryku is a fighter, he could win this if if Blain makes a mistake.

Barbie: I hope so.

Carter: Why so you could go backstage and congradufuckhim?

Barbie: One more crack like that, and I will make sure you never leave Newcastle alive. I am sure I could sweet talk any of the guys in the back to take care of you, if not I could just call my brothers or Hanz.

O’Ryan and Blain are now trading punches.

Blain

O’Ryan

Blain

O’Ryan

Blain

O’Ryan

Blain

Blain hits O’Ryan with a head butt- O’Ryan is dazed. Blain then whips O’Ryan into ropes, as he is boucing off Blain hits him with the Big Boot. O’Ryan goes down.

Carter: Yes, its over now.

Blain lifts O’Ryan up, then puts him in the Camel Cluth.

Harry: He could have gone for the pin but this is a smart move, O’Ryan looks too weak now to get out a submission hold. He was lucky before getting out of the pin.

Barbie: Come on Ryku, don’t give up.

Carter: I don't think he could get it up if he tried right now, he is in an awkward position.

Harry: What?

After about a minute in the Camel Clutch, O’Ryan can not take the pain anymore so he taps.

Carter: YEEEESSSSSSSSSS! * jumps up and starts a stupid little dance YESSSSSSSSSSS! YESSSSSSSS! I TOLD YOU! OH YESSSSSS! OHH YESSSSS! OH YEAH BABY! * he then thrust his pelvis back and forth YESSS! YEEESSSSS! OH YEAH!

Barbie: Ewww, please sit down Carter, you really are a buzz kill.

Carter jumps back into his seat, just smiling away.

[eyehatecena]

The ref raises Blain’s hand in victory- he is then joined in ring by the ten hooded men. The men surround O’Ryan, then pick him up. Blain walks over to him and it looks like he is going to hit him.

The crowd is booing very loudly now and are throwing stuff at the ring

Mike Muir runs out from backstage with a lead pipe in hand, jumps in the ring and starts swinging- everybody but O’Ryan and Muir bail out of the ring.

Carter: What the hell is this loser doing out here?

Barbie: What does it look like dumbass?

Harry: Thank God Muir came out when he did, as O’Ryan was in no shape to defend himself.

Muir helps O’Ryan to his feet and they stand back to back waiting to see if Blain and his men try to get back in the ring. After about a two minute stand off, Blain motions to his waiste that the belt will be his, then walks backstage with his men, fans throwing stuff at them the whole way.

Muir and O’Ryan exchange friendly words, shake hands and leave the ring to cheers.

Barbie: Yummy, double yummy. mmmmmm.

Carter: Well Blain is the winner! He will be the first PAIN! World champ, look who he has to take on, Mike Muir, that guy is a fucking joke. So is O’Ryan. Even without the interference Blain would have still won. I am so happy now. *Carter starts to cry

Barbie: They both impressed the hell out of me. Can’t wait to see the Muir and Blain matchup. Cute southern guy versus a monster. I think Muir can take him. I know he can.

Harry: I actually think Blain has the better chance- seeing that he has his guys out there to throw his opponents off guard.

Carter: *sniff, Wow, you actually agree with me Harry?

Harry: In this case, yes Carter. Well that’s all for tonight. We now know who will go on to Untold Khaos, Muir and Blain. The winner of that match will be our first PAIN! World Champion. So please join Carter and I next week for PAIN! And Barbie, thanks for joining us this week, it was a pleasure having you here. You are welcome here anytime.

Barbie: Thank you, and it was fun despite this dickhead *points to Carter.

Barbie gets up, gives Harry a quick peck on the on his lips. Carter closes his eyes and puckers up- Barbie punches him in the face, bloodying his nose yet again, then walks off.

PAIN! ends with the picture of Carter in true pain, holding his bloody nose and crying like a baby.

[eyehatecena]

I am stealing one filler. Rob or Destruction can have the last one.

[VanHooliganX]

I am stealing one filler. Rob or Destruction can have the last one.

Nope!

I'm stealing it! :P

My very first filler is why i'm stealing it.