EWA: Elite Wrestling Alliance Show Thread

[Robareid]

EWA Fury Episode 3



EWA Fury Theme Song: Hollywood Undead “Young”

Pyro and theme commence**CROWD GOES CRAZY**

Rich: Hello EWA Fans, and welcome to the American Airlines Arena in downtown Miami, the host of
tonight’s EWA Fury! With the ongoing questions flourishing from last week’s controversial battle royal
what we will we hear from the champion himself Jack Phoenix?

Herb: And what will we hear from Alex Kidd? Our EWA Champion must have things going on in his mind if Michael TheArchangel can actually beat this man. With Archangel being officially the number one contender for the title, is Alex Kidd afraid of defending it at Bloodbath?

Rich: All those questions and a ton of matches in store tonight as we draw closer to our very first pay per view Bloodbath LIVE in Toronto, Canada!. But tonight we are in Miami, Florida home of the Miami Heat! And we’re going to do it big tonight, so sit back relax because right now we have the EWA Champion Alex Kidd taking on Ryku O Ryan.

Here comes Ryku

HS: This guys got nothing to lose and a lot to gain here tonight. He's an amazing athlete, can he pull it together against our World champion

RG: Nothing to lose? He is going to be a broken pile of bones after Kidd has finished with him. I class that as a loss

And here is our world champion

RG: And here is the guy who is going to humiliate this Ryku today

HS: Look Rich, this Ryku is a big rising star, he isn't just going to let Kidd walk all over him



Rich: What a win for Alex Kidd! The champion takes our Ryku O'Ryan without even using the superkick. ONLY a warm-up before his epic encounter vs Michael the Archangel at Bloodbath

Herb: And Alex Kidd has a mic in his hand, he is ready to speak!

AK: well I am here again with a crowd that I love to entertain, but guess what you all cocksuckers hate
me now don´t ya, well from now I I will start to prove why I am the best this company has to offer and
why I am the poster boy for this company.

AK: you see guys let me tell you a story of how I made i it to the top,

-kidd asks for a chair and sits down in the ring-

AK: well I became the best in this company because I bust my ass of when you idiot }s do not
appreciate what I do for you bunch of stupid redneck wannabe fans , my daily life revolves around being
liked by the fans here because quite honestly I am not liked anywhere I go, yeah it is that bad I go to

mcdonalds they throw stuff at me. I go to walmart employees don’t want to pay attention to me. Sur I
am a cocky son of a bitch but you know what you morons need to pay attention to song lyrics, especially
my song lyrics because that is what I think ITS MY DAMN LIFE
-crowd reacts heavily but some are still booing him-

AK: at this point in my career I don’t even want to know what you guys think about me in fact I don’t
even really care about anything except retaining this championship and there is nobody who can stop
me not, rob rage, not Michael angelo angel or anybody for this mater.

AK: this championship is not going anywhere at bloodbath nobody will beat me, I guarantee it, if I
have to bleed I will bleed but angel will not beat me, at bloodbath this championship will stay with me
and it ill stay here for the rest of my career with EWA

-crowd gives a mixed reaction as music starts playing-

Rich: Powerful words from the Champion himself, proving why he is a dominant force in EWA

HS: We have to go to a commercial break now, see you on the other side

[Robareid]

Back from the commercial break, Rob Rage is in his locker room with a mic in hand, wearing jeans and his Best of British top.

RR: Hello, hello, hello, Rob Rage here, Best of British and all that schataz. I’m going to cut to the chase here; I’m main eventing tonight, against Hanz Gruber. Now for a change, this match isn’t going to be about hatred, or a blood feud or anything like that. This match is about proving who the better athlete is, putting on a great match for all you fans, and, for the winner at least, moving into position right behind Michael for the next shot at Alex Kidd. I know you want your shot, and I’m damn sure there is nothing more I want than getting my hands on Alex Kidd, and taking the title off him would just be a bonus.

For me, this match is about proving myself here in EWA, proving myself in the eyes of the management, proving myself in the eyes of the fans, and showing I can hang with the big boys here in EWA. Hanz, in the eyes of the brass, you are obviously already at that level, because you were put in the number one contenders match last week. I would have to agree with them too, from what I saw last week; you’re an amazing competitor between those ropes. However, and this is where your problem is, and you guys know that I like to toot my own horn a bit, but so am I. I’m every bit your equal in that squared circle, and that is what is going to make our match so great. That…

Suddenly, from off camera, Rage is interrupted by Gerald Croft

GC: Pardon the interruption, but I was wondering if you had reconsidered my offer?

RR: I thought I told you last week, I don’t need any help getting to the top, especially not from somebody like you.

GC: What do you mean by that? I’m a perfectly upstanding citizen, looking to help out a fellow Brit.

RR: You’re not fooling anybody, I know you’re kind. You’re nothing more than a conman, using others to weasel your way to the top with false promises, and underhand tactics, then you will kick your host to the curb and move onto your next unwilling victim. You run peoples careers, but I assure you son, you ain’t going to ruin this boy Rage’s career, no way fucking Jose.

GC: I assure you that

RR: Get the fuck out of my locker room, before I make you, or do you like the idea of shitting out teeth for the rest of the month?

GC: Okay, okay, I’ll leave, but you’re making a huge mistake.

-Croft leaves-

RR: Jesus Christ. *Looks over at the cameraman* Time for you to skedaddle, I’ve got a big match to prepare for

RG: How stupid can you get, Rage just refused a guarenteed route to the top

HS: Rich, Rob wants to show everyone that he can make it to the top on his own, is there anything bad about that?

RG: Maybe not bad, but definatly stupid. Mark my words, Croft will get his revnge for this, you just don't disrespect a man with that much power

[Robareid]

HS: Next up we have Ryan the Freak Wells’ open challenge

RG: Well this should be good. PISS BREAK!

HS: Oh shut up Rich, you never know who is going to accept this challenge; surely that excites you at least slightly

It’s the freak!

As Ryan makes his way down to the ring, the video of his challenge from last week airs on the Elitron

Ryan: Hello everyone! How are all of you tonight? I hope great, because that is how I am with all of you around! But I have to talk about something serious for a second, I'm sorry. Last week, I lost out on winning the World Title by a slithering slimeball who goes by the name Alex Kidd.

* Crowd Boos*

Ryan: I had the pin on Rob Rage, who I deeply respect. But Kidd out of nowhere cheapshots me and steals the pin from me and claimed the title. I did not appreciate that at all, but shit happens. Now, I will win the title back one day and be the people's champion, for all of you. I promise that. But seeing as creative won't put me in a title shot for some reason, I have another idea.

Any wrestler backstage who thinks they can beat me, I issue an open challenge for next week, to wrestle. Anyone who has the guts to face Ryan "The Freak" Wells, with the great fans of EWA in his corner, come to this ring next week and get ready to be destroyed!

* Drops mic while crowd cheers *

Wells gets into the ring, leans against the ropes and awaits his challenger to come out

This video airs on the Elitron:

Ashley Ion is standing in the back with the mystery man who is supposedly taking on Wells

Ashley Ion: "Ladies and Gentlemen, right now I am joined by someone in EWA who has yet to make his debut, but promises to makes waves once he gets inside the ring. His name? Is Van Hooligan X. So Van, how does it feel to be making your debut tonight in the Ryan Wells challenge?"

*As Ashley points the mic towards his face, Van doesn't even attempt to speak and grabs the mic of her with haste*

VHX: E-W-N. Tonight marks the beginning of wrestling history as I make my debut into wrestling. Surely this means I’m green, a big hotshot rookie who is nothing more than hot air. Well you're wrong. I have been wrestling since I was 13. Against guys 3 times the size of me at times and still I would come out the victor! I can go 1 on 1 with anyone in this business and damn sure as well know that my arm would be raised at the end of any of those matches.

Tonight EWN you witness greatness-no. No you witness history in the making as I make my debut that will be 1 to remember. So to answer this bitches question. The Vanity is looking forward to this challenge of his. The Vanity is going to make tonight a night no-one forgets!

*Van then moves the mic closer to Ashley so she can grab it, she is a little slow in the realisation he is giving her the mic back to her since she didn't enjoy being called a bitch but she reaches for the mic. Unfortunately for her Van then throws the mic over his head away from her and the whole scene*

VHX: "...Fetch." *with a big smirk of his face Van walks away*

RG: I like him; I like him a lot

Here he comes



*Ignore ending*

RG: Wow, Van has really dominated the freak so far in this match

HS: As much as I hate to say it, you’re right. Don’t count Wells out just yet though

Van Hooligan whips Wells into the corner then charges in and… SPEAR! Huge spear by Wells! He goes for the pin

1

2

Kickout!

RG: Well, there goes Wells’ last chance

HS: I wouldn’t be so sure, look at this

Wells has him back up and lifts him up for a suplex, but X rakes his eyes and gets down

Ref: You do that again and I’ll disqualify you!

VHX: Fair enough

Van kicks Wells straight in the balls, getting him disqualified immediately

HS: Well that was stupid

RG: Err, well… Yes, it was really wasn’t it…

Van Hooligan then bails out of the ring and pulls out a cricket bat from under the ring, then slides back in and starts viciously laying in shots on Wells

RG: Or maybe it wasn’t, Wells must have disrespected him before the match, so Van Hooligan is teaching him manners

HS: You’re full of shit Rich

Van continues to deliver these lethal cricket bat blows before picking him up, and hitting his finisher, the Vanguard. Van Hooligan X stands over Wells, puts a foot on top of him and counts to three

VHX: *Shouting* The world’s best wrestler has arrived!

HS: Disgusting

RG: Genius, now it’s time for another commercial break

[Robareid]

HS: Welcome back, after witnessing that disgusting attack

RG: Oh come on Herb, if you think that attack was horrible you are really in the wrong business

HS: Rich, can you stop interrupting me? …Thank you. Now up next we have Hanz Gruber

RG: I love this guy!

HS: Rich! Shut the fuck up! Right anyway, now we’re going to hear from the other half of our main event tonight, Hanz Gruber. Over to you Ashley

-Hanz is with Ashley Ion in the back-

AI: Thank you Herb, now Hanz, you’re going against Rob Rage tonight in a big match, what are your thoughts?

HG: Rob, you were lucky that I was taken out on the first episode of Fury early on during the tournament for the EWA World Title; else I would have been in the final after beating the Archangel in our semi-finals match. Sadly that match never got to take place. So it came down to you, Kidd and Wells- and the better man came out on top. Not taking anything away from you, I've seen you in action many times before and have always been impressed with what I have seen you do in the ring. You are probably the best wrestler to come out of England since the late Davey Boy Smith and at least you did not come off as a whiny little shit like Wells did last week, complaining that someone stole his pin, you took it like a man. And you moved on, much as I did after my lost to Archangel last week, I accepted that lose, and it has only strengthen my focus to get a shot at the World title, if I pick up the Global title along the way that’s cool too.

So I'm looking forward to our match. The Best of Britain vs. the best of Germany! *He laughs at his own joke* Maybe Wells and a few others in the back can learn something from watching us go at it. And after I beat you, it will only bring me closer to the World title

-Gruber just walks off-

AI: Oh, okay then. Err, back to you guys then I guess

RG: Well that was a crap interview

*Herb punches Rich in the arm*

RG: Ow, you gave me a dead arm. What did you do that for?

HS: Moving on, next up we have our new Global Champion in action. He won the battle royal last week to be crowned the inaugural champion; can he continue his roll by defeating Carlos Ramon here tonight?

It’s the champ!

RG: You know, although this guy outlasted 19 other guys to win this title, I really don’t think he’s proven to anybody that he deserves it.

HS: Rich that makes absolutely no sense

RG: Wait, here me out. This guy is yet to win a singles match here is EWA, all he has done is win a battle royal, but that is supposed to be a match all about luck. This is going to be his first real test

And his opponent, for the first and last time (because he quit)

RG: Wait, this guy has quit?

HS: Yep, he quit before this show was even put together, but Robareid couldn’t be bothered to change it all

RG: So basically we’re jobbing him out?

HS: Yep, that’s it in a nutshell

RG: Okay, so much for this being Phenix’s first test



HS: Well, that went pretty much as expected

RG: I’ve always wanted to say this. Carlos, we wish you the best luck in your future endeavours.

HS: After that dominating win, Jack’s got the mic

JP: Wow, I mean this reaction right here makes this all worth it

*Fans Cheer loudly*

JP: The long days training, the days away from my family that right there is all worth it, to give back to fans means a lot and I will continue to give back to all of you each and every week and i will do it as EWAs first ever Global Champion!

*Fans cheer louder*

JP: And i intend to keep it like that for a long time to come so anybody who wants this belt will have to take it off of my cold, dead body because i aint never letting go of this. So whoevers ready get out here and lets entertain these fans right here.

RG: Be careful what you wish for Jack, because I hear that KiLLA is gunning for your title, and your wish may just come true

HS: That was actually quite good there Rich, I’m impressed. Right, next up we have a big announcement to make

RG: At our first PPV, Bloodbath, we will crown our inaugural tag team champions.

HS: Tonight we find out which of our great tag teams get the honour of being in that title match. The two qualifying matches are as follows, Il Cattivo vs. The Panzer Division and The Turnes vs. Two of a Kind.

[Robareid]

RG: Wow, there really is only one team who have a chance of winning this, and that is the indy sensations, Two of a Kind.

HS: What are you talking about Rich, all four of those teams have the talent to win this thing. TOAK may have had the most success in other companies, but the talent is there in all four teams. And two teams are going to prove that as a fact, as up next we have Il Cattivo vs. The Panzer Division.

RG: Like I said, irrelevant, neither of these teams will beat TOAK, but if I had to bet on one, I’d say the Panzers have this one.

Here comes Il Cattivo

Uliose: How ya doing EEEEEE-DoubleU-AAAAAYYYYY *HugePop* My name is Uliose right here next to me is my man Roberto and we are Il Cattivo. Now tonight we are goping to be entertaining you all with a match against the pansy division

Roberto: (Coughing for attention)

Uliose: Yes Bro

Roberto I think its Panzer Division Uli

Uliose: I was doing a play on words gees your such a wog *crowd laughs then chants you are a wog* Anywho for these who actually respect the Panzer Division well you’re going to see two of the greatest highflyers ever to embrace wrestling as their home

Roberto: And Pansy Division, you may be good but we are on a missi....

Uliose: Hey Hey Hey Hey.... hey whoah

Roberto: What?

Uliose: You can’t just insult my line then use it!!!

Roberto: Uliose I’m trying to cut a tough promo here

Uliose: I don’t care if you’re trying to cut your hair... actually yes i do cut it your style sux *more laughter now from the crowd*

Roberto: Can I finish?

Uliose: probably not but I’ll let you try

Roberto: Thank you anyway Prancer division

Uliose: now that’s a good one

Roberto: can you shut up please gees, Panzer division... We want Two Of A Kind in them finals and while you stand in our way you are enemys and tonight, well tonight we turn you into the plateau division cause your just gonna plateau your arse into oblivion

Uliose: Nice touch

Roberto: Cheers

RG: I can’t believe this team is even in the tag tournament. I guess they had to make up the numbers

HS: Il Cattivo may be a little unorthodox, but they are one of the hottest tag teams on the indies. I would love to see Cavito vs. TOAK, but first they will have to get through this team. The Panzer Division and they’re in the back with Ashley Ion right now.

AI: I'm here with Oli and Karl Panzer, guys, the winner of this match will go on to Bloodbath for a chance at being the first EWA Tag team Champions. What's on your mind heading into this match?

Karl: On our minds? Us Panzers let all of our action in the ring do our talking. We have no time for stupid interviews. Just line up teams for us to take down, that’s all we need. That’s what Oli and I have done our whole career, kick ass and collect titles all over the world. Il Cattivo doesn't mean shit to us. They just another victim, Right Oli?

Oli: Jawohl

Karl: Interview over bitch. Oli, let’s go crush those fuckers.

It’s the Panzer Division!

RG: At least these guys take wrestling seriously

HS: And this one is underway



HS: Wow, that one could have gone either way, but in the end, Il Cavito got the win

RG: Fluke, utter fluke

[Robareid]

HS: Right, now it’s time for some more singles action, up next it’s Michael Archangel vs. KiLLA

RG: This is a big match for both guys. KiLLA getting the win would really catapult him into the main event scene while Archangel needs this win just to match Kidd momentum wise

Speak of the… Angel?

RG: And here comes Michael Archangel, ready for some in ring competition. He will have to have come prepared, as he’s facing KiLLA, who is no pushover

Michael Archangel makes his way down the ramp and grabs a mic

MA: So here I am. The number one contender for the EWA World Heavyweight Championship. This has been my dream for the last 3 years that I've been wrestling professionally. Not because I think I'm better than everyone but because I need to prove to myself I can hang with the big boys. So at Bloodbath Alex you and I face of and trust me I will be the next World Champion. A Champion with honor, respect and dignity. Alex prepare for the fight with the Archangel! *Crowd Pop*

HS: Yes, and this should be a very entertaining match, and I think that Archangel will definitely have the edge here tonight

RG: Of course you do, you always just pull for the good guys. You’re so biased!

HS: I’m not being bias; I’m speaking my mind

I wouldn’t want to meet this guy in a dark alley

RG: Here comes a real competitor, this KiLLA, is… well, a killer…. I think... but either way he has proven he can hang with the best and I can’t wait to see how this match goes right here

HS: He may be dangerous, but can he handle Michael Archangel in a wrestling match?

RG: Of course he can, he’s the KiLLA, he can go toe to toe with anyone in this business and come out on top



HS: And Archangel has emerged victorious here tonight, what a match and what a win for that man

RG: Yes I’ll give him that, he won fair and square, but KiLLA still put up one hell of a fight and one hell of a match here tonight for EWA Fury!

HS: We have to go to another commercial break now but when we come back it’s time for more tag team action

[Robareid]

RG: Right, now it’s time to see some real tag team excellence

HS: Yep, this should be a classic

RG: Are you crazy, this is going to be a walkover for Two of a Kind

Here they are

MD: Ladies and gentleman *Loud you suck chants start* Hmmm hmmm Ladies and Gentleman * You sucks turn to a chorusful of boos* Nuff Nuffs and Morons you will listen to what TOAK how to say because firstly, you paid to see us *Nuff Nuff clap clap clap chants start* Secondly, We are going to become dual tag team champions whether you like it or not and thirdly well cos you got no choice so Shut Up and pay attention because the man with the moolah is about to speak

*Boos like we have never heard before are riverting around the stadium*

KW: You know what!!! i got nothing to say to this idiotic, insipid, lacklustre class of people others may refer to as EWA fans. *The record Boos just got beat* Im more important then all of you, im more important then the EWA management, Hell im more important and worth more then the whole EWA roster im outta here Paul finish these commoners off

*Crowd is going eratic and throwing shit as Kid Wonder leaves the rings and through the ramp to the back*

MD: Incase you have not quite picked up on this yet, we are not here to win your accolades, and we are not ghere to win your support we are here for the straps and the money, and hell we are facing nobodies tonight what are their names turnes? how do you even say that? Tur-nes? turns? hell it sounds like an award at athird rate awards ceremonies, And the winners of this years Tur-nes for the biggest overated tag team in all E-Fedding Il Cattivo *Paul Conrad gets on his knees and starts mimicing uliose*

I'd like to thank my turd of a brother who may be the only wrestler alive besides HOS who actually is a worse wrestler then me, id like to thank my mum for being stupid even to have sex with my dad twice and most of all id like to thank all of you people, because of your cheap laughs everytime i call Roberto a WOG, We wouldnt have a spot on the roster.

Back to Reality, you al know the place where all your lifes Suck and i am a champion and soon to be dual champion, im sick of talking to people that cant comprehend the english language, im outta here to, Tur-nes or turns or whoever the hell you are? tonight you find out my Two Of A Kind mean Business.

HS: Well they are certainly the must more successful team, but the Turnes could pull off a big upset today

RG: If Turnes win, I’ll buy everyone in this arena a drink

This arena is now depending on them for the next round of drinks

HS: These guys may not be well known, but that could be their advantage

RG: Dream on Rich, you’re not getting that drink

LT: Wasson *name of place* *loud pop*. Last week, in our match - 2 of a Kind screwed us. We got told in the week that you said you won fairly, fairly my polka dotted Arse. Speaking of Arse's, yours will be even sorer after we're done with you, than Kid's Arse last night. This is our 1st organization we've been in and you screwed up our debut. You two have balls to mess around with us I give you that, it's a shame that they'll be whipped around the ring tonight.

RT: Two of a Kind, YOU CAN STICK IT WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE

-Conrad then lays out Rob with a big clothesline, and this one is underway-


HS: Well, the Turnes gave it their all but in the end TOAK were just too much for them

RG: I called it before this tournament started; Conrad & Wonder have these titles in the bag

HS: You may well be right Rich, but they are in for another big test at Bloodbath, when they take on Il Cattivo

[Robareid]

HS: And now it's time for our main event. We have two of EWA's biggest stars facing off, Hanz Gruber and Rob Rage

It's Rob Rage!

RG: And here comes the most idiotic person on our roster. This guy was offered a guaranteed path to the top, and he turned it down

HS: If you're talking about him rejecting Croft's offer, then you are just plain wrong. Rob said he wanted to prove to the world that he can get to the top himself, and that’s why he's out here tonight taking on Hanz Gruber

Speak of the German

RG: This guy took Michael to the limit last week. He's clearly going to just outsmart Rob, but then again, that's not that hard

HS: This one is underway



*Ignore ending*

RG: What a match this has been, back and forth all the way

HS: This one could literally go either way

As Herbie says that, Gruber nails Rage with a huge clothesline, turning Rob inside out

RG: Or it could be over right now!

One, two…

HS: No, only two, Rob kicked out! What a match these two are putting on for us!

Gruber gets up, noticeably frustrated that he hasn’t been able to put Rage away yet. He grabs Rob’s legs, and sets up the Sharpshooter

RG: Rob may have kicked out, but he’s only prolonging the inevitable. When Hanz locks this in, it’s over!

Just as Gruber is about to turn Rage over, Rob reverses it into a small package

One, two, kickout!

HS: Another kick out, what are these guys going to have to do to each other for the match to end, this is only a two hour show you know

RG: That was Rob’s last gasp, Hanz has this in the bag, and he has just been teaching Rob a lesson in technical wrestling since the beginning of this match

Both men are quickly back up to their feet, Hanz goes for another big clothesline, Rob ducks and… Superkick! Huge superkick from Rage to Gruber, but he is too exhausted to go for the cover

HS: You were saying Rich? Oh, what the hell is Gerald Smith and his butler doing out here? Wait, Rob’s crawled across for the cover. One, two… Nooo! Yet another kickout

Rob makes his way to his feet, picks up Gruber and motions for the end

Gerald tells motions towards the ring, and his Butler races down the ramp

Rage lifts Gruber up for the fisherman’s powerbomb he calls the Rage Bomb, but Brutus “the Butler” Smith grabs his legs, tripping him up, and pulls him out of the ring, then lays him out with a huge clothesline.

The ref calls for the bell, giving the DQ win to Rob

HS: What the hell are these guys doing? They just robbed us of the ending of one hell of a match. Now they are putting a beatdown on Rage.

RG: Rage should be thankful, they just gave him the win, there was no way he would have got it otherwise

HS: Oh shut up Rich, Rob was about to hit his signature manoeuvre

Smith picks up Rage, whips him into the barricade, then picks him up and throws him into the ring. Croft gets into the ring with him, and while Smith holds him up, smashes him with his cane repeatedly.

GC: You want to disrespect me? Who “can make it to the top all by himself” now, eh? Finish him Smith.

Smith turns him around, a hit Rage with this devastating powerbomb.



HS: This is disgusting

RC: He had it coming Herbie, you don’t disrespect a man like Croft and expect to get away unscathed

HS: Really, Rich, you think this was justified? Well, we’re out of time tonight, see you next week

[Robareid]

Filler post

The show is a 32 page word document in size twelve font, by far our longest

[Robareid]

Just a warning, my internet is really fucking up atm, so the show probably won't be posted too quickly

Right, excuses out of the way, on with the show