EWA: Elite Wrestling Alliance Show Thread

**Robareid** · 04-16-2012, 11:58 AM

EWA Untamed Khaos

Click for fireworks (Fucking video limit...)

Herb: Hello and welcome to EWA Untamed Khaos emanating live from a packed O2 arena here infront of a capacity 105,000 crazy EWA fans from London!

Rich: What a show we have in store for you tonight

Harry: We have thirteen top notch matches already scheduled

Carter: From a mixture of all three brands; Fury, PAIN! and Carnage

Howard: Highlighted by our duel main events

Bobby: Rob Rage will be challenging the World Champion Alex Kidd in the Fury main event in a match where Kidd has lost his championship advantage

Carter: And from PAIN! Raden Blain is scheduled to face Mike Muir in the finals of the tournament to crown the first PAIN! World Heavyweight Champion

Rich: As you may have already noticed, all six of us are going to be on hand to guide you through this epic event

Herb: Rich and I will be taking everything Fury related

Harry: While Carter and I will be running PAIN!’s proceedings

Bobby: And finally Howard and I will be commentating on the solitary Carnage match on the card, which doesn’t happen to be until the second half of the show, so I’m off to go pick up some English totty!

Howard: So unprofessional… So get all your snacks ready, because you’re not going to want to miss one second of what we have in store. Strap yourself in; this is going to be one hell of a ride!

And what better way to kick it off than this?

The Patriotic Brit makes his way through the curtain to open up the show, and receives a huge ovation from the capacity crowd in the O2 arena

He lifts the mic up to his mouth, but then instead of saying anything he drops it down onto the stage. Rob then proceeds to lifts both of his arms into the air palms facing the crowd and he closes his eyes, soaking in all the emotion in the arena

Then slowly, on finger on each hand at a time, closes his hands to form fists. Rage’s whole body slowly begins to shake, before suddenly he lets out a primeval guttural roar, sending the crowd into a complete frenzy, before dropping down to his knees and picking up the mic.

Rage: EWA, welcome… TO LONDON! *Crowd pop*

Tonight, is the night. Tonight is the night where it all happens. Tonight is the night where we crown the first PAIN! world heavyweight champion *Pop* Tonight is the night that Michael the Archangel finally gets his hands on Hanz Gruber *and again* Tonight… is the night that I beat Alex Kidd and become World Heavyweight Champion! *They pop again for a third time, even louder than before*

Tonight is the night. Alex Kidd, you’re good, maybe even great. I’ll give that to you. You’re the world champion for a reason. But TONIGHT, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter what you say, it doesn’t matter what you do, it doesn’t matter what you hit me with. Because TONIGHT the ending is already written in the stars. Rage Bomb, 1, 2, 3, new World Heavyweight Champion! *Crowd start chanting “New World Champ! New World Champ!”*

Tonight, I show- No, tonight WE show what Britain is all about. Tonight we show them that we are a force to be reckoned with. TONIGHT! We take our rightful place… AS CHAMPIONS OF THE WORLD!

Herb: Wow, the crowd are going crazy after that

Rich: I don’t see what was so special about it; it was just a bunch of cheap pops

Herb: It’s called speaking from the heart Rich. Anyways, next up we’re going to our first match and it’s an important one. Douglas Blake will be taking on the High Octane Superstar in a match to determine the new number one contender to the Fury TV Championship. We’re going now to go get Douglas Blake’s thoughts on the match

Rich: Now this’ll be something special

The camera shows Douglas Blake backstage in his lockeroom, standing in front of the camera with a very focused look on his face

Douglas: Tonight I finally get my shot! I get my shot at becoming number one contender. HOS you are the only person who stands in my way. I am going to win our match even if I have to break you in two. Nothing will stop me from winning what is mine!

Herb: Well that was… short

Rich: It’s almost like Vegas rushed the promo as he totally forgot about it

Herb: Who the fuck is Vegas

Rich: I dunno, was just spontaneous… Anyway, he looked focused for his match, and that’s what matters right

Here’s HOS, or should I say, due to his recent streak, LOS

Herb: Oh dear Lillian…

HOS makes his way out to a nice pop from the O2 arena. As he runs down to ringside he grabs a microphone and slides into the ring then begins to speak

HOS: Blake, listen here and listen well... You have to be the most blessed superstars that EWA has ever seen but tonight it ends... Because tonight is Untamed Khaos

*Cheap POP*

And tonight there is no cheap wins... no interferences tonight it’s just going to be me getting on with the start of a very impressive winning streak

Rich: Meh, doesn’t matter what he says, he’s on a losing streak for a reason

And here comes his opponent for tonight, Douglas Blake

Douglas slowly walks down the ramp, flipping the bird the bird up at the crowd when they boo him, but it only serves to make the boos louder

He makes his way into the ring, the bell rings and this one is underway

Bret Hart = Douglas Blake // Tiger Mask = HOS

*Stop watching at 5:58*

Herb: Kickout by HOS

Rich: Dammit. Blake was so close to becoming the new number one contender there

Douglas pulls HOS back up, lifts him up then hitting a fall away slam

Rich: Yeah, great move by Blake

Blake then measures HOS as he slowly gets back to his feet

Herb: I think he’s looking for his finisher, the front flip piledriver

Rich: If he hits that it’s over, HOS is NOT kicking out of that

HOS finally makes his way to his feet and sure enough Blake runs forward, gets HOS’ head in the piledriver position and flips forward but HOS manages to keep his footing and reverse it into a double leg slam

Herb: What a reversal! HOS just reversed Blake’s devastating finisher into an offensive move of his own

With Blake down HOS falls back into a corner to regain his composure

Rich: He doesn’t look in any position to capitalise though

Blake slowly gets back up but is quickly met by a running clothesline, knocking him back down

Rich: Or maybe I was wrong

Blake quickly gets back up only to be knocked down almost instantly by another running clothesline

Blake pops up for a third time and this time he is met by a picture perfect dropkick from Mr Acronym. This time he doesn’t get up

Herb: What a flurry that was by HOS

Rich: But that’s all it will be, a flurry

HOS measures Blake, looking to finish him off

Rich: LOOK! It’s Artemis Eclipse

Herb: What the hell is he doing here?

Artemis slides into the ring behind HOS, and before HOS realises he’s there kicks him in the nuts from behind, keeling him over in pain

Herb: What the hell, he’s ruined this fantastic match

Rich: And he doesn’t look finished

Herb: Ooohhh! Vicious Saito suplex

Rich: You know, at first I wasn’t so hot on this guy, but he’s warming on me

Blake has now made his way back to his feet and is laughing at what’s happened. He smiles at Artemis and extends a hand

Artemis looks at the hand, and then grasps it… Before swiftly pulling him close and kicking him low as well

Rich: What! What are you doing?

Herb: It seems he didn’t fancy making friends with neither HOS nor Blake

Artemis then goes around the back of Blake, and lifts him up on his shoulder

Herb: DEVASTATING! That’s one of Artemis’ finishers, the electric chair driver that he calls the Rubix Cube

Rich: I totally withdraw my previous statement. This guy is a dick

Herb: Well this match has obviously been thrown out and declared a no contest

Rich: Well what does that mean in regards to the number one contender then?

Herb: I don’t know Rich, I don’t know

Rich: Very helpful

Herb: Well I do know that we’ve got a bit of time off, as we’re handing over to our PAIN! announce team who are going to be taking over for a while

Rich: See you on the other side

**Robareid** · 04-16-2012, 12:06 PM

Harry Esel: And now for the next match of the night Destruction & Alpha Romao vs. Fuegos Artificiales. There is a lot of hatred between these guys.

Carter Davis: You're telling me. The Torres brothers have won their share of matches, but at what cost? They have either won by DQ and gotten beatdown afterwards, or the actually won the match, then gotten beatdown afterwards.

Harry Esel: Lets hear from both teams first

Destruction & Alpha Romao

*Destruction and Alpha Romao comes down to ringside. Destruction gets slightly cheered, as he is from London, but Alpha makes sure he doesn't interact with them, and orders him to get a mic. He does so and hands it to Romao, before both sliding into the ring.*

Alpha: So, England, we have arrived. The best tag team in wrestling history has arrived. The closest thing to the great Shawn Michaels is the one you scumbags have the pleasure of listening to, and who know's. When I become World Champion, I will be the best damn world champion ever known. I am Wrestling's Jesus. Instead of Save us Y2J, why not Save us Alpha. I mean, everyone needs a sidekick. Hulk Hogan had Brutus Beefcake, Scott Steiner had Rick, and I have Destruction. Now, you obnoxious dickheads should applaud us. We are your heroes for fuck's sake. But you boo. Chants of "Alpha sucks balls" and "Destruction needs a Penis" Surrounds us wherever we go. But no more! If you don't like what we have to say. Then we won't talk to you! We'll let you have the pleasure of watching us kicking Mexican ass, but when you cheer Mexicans over an Englishman and an American, then there is something wrong with you

Carter Davis: Man, I just love these guys. My money is on them tonight.

Harry Esel: Wanna bet? The loser pays for the hooker tonight?

Carter Davis: You're on! Do we still have to share her though?

Harry Esel: Well, I guess not.

Fuegos Artificiales- Taco and Paco Torres- masters at getting beaten down

*Taco and Paco come out to the ramp with mics in hands- both in an unusually bad mood

Paco: Week after week, me and me brother come out here to entertain the fans. Me and me brother get gooder and gooder with the English wrestling style- yet with every match we are in, you two guys, Alpha and Destruction, always find a way to get involved. Its making me and me brother piss.

Taco: Me brother means pissed off. But he is right, we can not go anywhere without you guys ruining it. We are one of the most thrilling teams around, and after tonight, we will prove we are the best team there is. We will not only win tonight, we will also have the biggest party to celebrate the end of Alpha and Destruction. Everyone is invited. Party Time! Everybody say PARTY TIME!

*The crowd is chanting PARTY TIME! PARTY TIME! PARTY TIME!*

*A man walks outs onstage eating a burrito, realizes he is in the wrong place and goes backstage again*

Carter Davis: Hey wasn't that Felix Guerrero?

Harry Essel: Yep.

Paco: We will have piñatas, chips, salsa, sombreros, midgets and a donkey.

*The crowd is laughing at Paco now*

Carter Davis: Sounds like my kind of party

Harry Esel: A donkey?

Taco: We will have it all, and you guys in the ring are not invited

Paco: The ref can come though

*Smoke starts to fill up the stage a bit- a figure emerges- its the Smog Monster- he nods his head, then disappears back into the smoke. The smoke clears*

Paco: That was so cool!

Taco: Si! It was. Well lets get this show on the road- Lets Go!

*Paco and Taco Torres run down the ramp, jump into the ring and play to the crowd*

Destruction & Alpha Romao vs. Fuegos Artificiales
Destruction & Alpha/Jamie Noble & Kid Kash…… Fuegos Artificiales/Mexicools

*Stop watching @ 4:32….Ignore entrances and lawnmowers

Harry Esel:What a match, it’s mostly been Alpha and Destruction though.

Carter Davis: Fuegos Artificiales are still in it though- they have been pretty focused

*Both Taco and Alpha have been tagged in and both rushes towards each other- then Taco decides at the last minute to spear Alpha, knocking him back and into the ropes. Taco then grabs a stunned Alpha and swings him against the opposite ropes. Alpha bounces off the ropes, Taco spears him again- knocking him to the mat this time. Taco runs to his corner and tags Paco in. Paco gets to the top turnbuckle, turns around and plays to the crowd. Alpha slowly gets to his feet, Taco yells for Paco to turn around- which he does. Paco then dives off the turnbuckle and is caught by Alpha who immediately slams him onto the mat.*

Carter Davis: Paco needs to stop playing to the crowd; he probably just lost the match for them.

* Alpha then starts hitting Paco with a series of stiff kicks. Alpha then turns him over and goes for the pin*.

One

Two

Thr….

*Paco kicks out at the very last second. Alpha is pissed, so he grabs Paco by his hair and drags him to his corner. The ref yells at Alpha, telling him to let him go- instead Alpha just tags Destruction in.*

Carter Davis: Fresh man in- smart move by Alpha

* Destruction enters the ring, picks up Paco with ease and throws him halfway across the mat- he goes to pick up a limp Paco but Taco quickly gets on the top turnbuckle, jumps off and hits Destruction with a beautiful flying dropkick- therefore saving his brother. Taco starts kicking a fallen Destruction and Alpha starts to enter the ring. The ref stops him, allowing Taco to continue his attack on Destruction. The ref finally gets Taco out the ring, while both Paco and Destruction slowly crawl towards their corners. Paco tags Taco in, Taco runs at, and grabs Destructions leg, dragging him away from tagging in Alpha. Taco turns Destruction around, spreads his legs open, and is about to kick Destruction in the nuts*

Carter Davis: Nut Shot!

Harry Esel: You sure have a weird fascination with nuts.

Carter Davis: No, just shots to nuts, that’s all.

*.......... when Destruction grabs Taco’s foot, and pushes him back- hitting and knocking the ref down. Destruction gets to his feet, knees Taco in the gut and hits the FTW- a stunner- taking Taco out. Destruction rolls up Taco for the pin but the ref is still out. Destruction drags Taco to the corner and tags in Alpha- both are doubling teaming Taco- this brings in Paco who breaks it up. Destruction punches Paco in his nose, then hits him with a FTW, then pushes him out the ring to the arena floor. Destruction follows him, picks him up and rams him into the stairs a few times. He then walks up the ramp onto the stage- goes to the ledge and throws Paco off. While all this was happening, Alpha had been pummelling Taco, who was doing his best to fight back... Taco pokes Alpha in the eye, and then kicks him in the gut. The ref has gotten to his feet by this time and Destruction has made it back to ringside. Taco, keeping an eye on Alpha, backs up to his corner thinking Paco is there.*

Carter Davis: Taco really is an idiot, should have looked back before now

Harry Esel: Agreed, I smell victory so.....

*Taco turns around, does not see him so looks back at towards Alpha- only to eat a superkick. Alpha goes for the pin.*

One

Two

Three

Winners: Destruction & Alpha

*The ref raises their hands in victory, and then both Destruction and Alpha push Taco out the ring and head backstage to a chorus of boos. As both men walk up the stage, they see that EMT are checking on the fallen Paco- both men spit on him and then finally go to the back.*

Carter Davis: Hell of a match, hell of an ending.

Harry Esel: I just hope the brothers live to see another day. Our next match of the night is the kid, Harry Richards taking on Silva. These guys hate, I mean hate each other. Lets send it to the back to get a word from Silva- interviewing him will be Carnage's Iva Hardy

Carter Davis: I have a hardy for her right here.

Iva Hardy: Thank you Harry- oh and sorry I walked in on you and Carter, I won't say a word. Now Silva, I know you have a history with Harry Richards, in fact, you tried ending his career a few weeks back. He got a little payback last week on PAIN!, what are you're plans tonight?

**Robareid** · 04-16-2012, 12:12 PM

Silva: The rain set early in tonight,
The sullen wind was soon awake,
It tore the elm-tops down for spite,
And did its worst to vex the lake:
I listened with a black heart fit to break.
When glided in the my love; straight
She shut the cold out and the storm,
And kneeled and made the cheerless grate
Blaze up, and all the cottage warm;
Which done, she rose, and from her form
Withdrew the dripping cloak and shawl,
And laid her soiled gloves by, untied
Her hat and let the damp hair fall,
And, last, she sat down by my side
And called me. When no voice replied,
She put my arm about her waist,
And made her smooth ghost white shoulder bare,
And all her yellow hair displaced,
And, stooping, made my cheek lie there,
And spread, o'er all, her yellow hair,
Murmuring how she still loved me – she
Too weak, for all her heart's endeavor,
To set its struggling passion free
From pride, and vainer ties dissever,
And give herself to me forever.
But passion sometimes would prevail,
Nor could tonight's gay feast restrain
A sudden thought of one so pale
For love of her, and all in vain:
So, she was come through wind and rain.
Be sure I looked up at her eyes
Happy and proud; at last I knew
My love worshiped me: surprise
Made my heart swell, and still it grew
While I debated what to do.
That moment she was mine, mine, fair,
Perfectly pure and good: I found
A thing to do, and all her hair
In one long yellow string I wound
Three times her little throat around,
And strangled her. No pain felt she;
I am quite sure she felt no pain.
As a shut bud that holds a bee,
I warily oped her lids: again
Laughed the blue eyes without a stain.
And I untightened next the tress
About her neck; her cheek once more
Blushed bright beneath my burning kiss:
I propped her head up as before,
Only, this time my shoulder bore
Her head, which droops upon it still:
The smiling rosy little head,
So glad it has its utmost will,
That all it scorned at once is fled,
And I, its love, am gained instead!
Her love: she guessed not how
Her darling one wish would be heard.
And thus we sit together now,
And all night long we have not stirred,
And yet God has not said a word!

Iva Hardy: Like oh my God, that was soooo deep. Johnny Hott never talks to me like that. Say do you wanna....

*Silva just walks away*

Harry Esel: What the hell is he talking about- did he kill his love. Who the hell would love a guy like Silva?

Carter Davis: You think that Iva would have sex with me?

And here comes Harry Richards!

Harry Richards struts his way down to ringside, clearly loving the atmosphere of his first ever hometown PPV. He’s getting a huge ovation from the place he grew up

Carter: Lol. These guys may be cheering now, but their hero’s soon going to end up as dead meat once Silva gets his hands on him

Harry: Sadly Carter, you may be right. He doesn’t look at all worried though

Carter: Stupid SOB

Harry Richards gets into the ring, and the crowd is still going wild. He raises a finger up to his lips to silence them, and after a while it goes quiet enough for him to speak

Richards: Honey, I’m hoooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! *Crowd go crazy once again* Oh God how good it is to be back. I’ve missed this place, I really have. Yes London may be crowded as hell, have chavs around most corners and generally stink of shit but hell, it’s home, and I wouldn’t have it any other way

I’m so happy right now. I’m so happy that I get to fulfil my dream. I’m so happy I get to perform in front of all you great fans. I’m so happy that I get to beat on Silva’s stupid ass. I mean, what a knobhead! He’s fuckin’ made me miss half the UK tour, what’s up with that shit. But I’m back, and tonight I’m going to make my return match exciting. I’m going to make it exhilarating, I’m going to make it entertaining but most importantly I’m going to make it a win! I’ve got big plans for me in EWA, and me winning tonight will start me off in the right direction.

I may be slightly the smaller guy, he is around a foot taller than me, so I wanna hear all yall cheering as I climb up to the top rope and dive off executing the move dedicated to this great city, the London Star Press, and from that point only one thing can happen. Uno, Dos, Tres. Ding ding ding. Winner from LONDON ENGLAND

Crowd: HARRY RICHARDS!

Carter: This guy really believes he can win! That’s some funny shit right there.

Harry: Hey, this guy is one of the best high flyers in the world, you can’t count him out

Carter: He’ll be lucky to walk out of London, let alone with a win

Da Weird Guy- Silva

*Silva makes his way down the ramp and into the ring- He just stands there for a good 30 seconds- He has a weird grin on his face*

Harry Richards vs Silva
Harry Richards/ T.J. Perkins….Silva/Nigel McGuiness

*stop watching @ 5:30- Harry Richards kicks out of the pin*

Harry Esel: Good to see the boy is over all the ill effects of Silva’s attack a few weeks ago

Carter: Silva’s attack? Harry Richards started it, Silva was just defending himself.

Harry Esel: Yeah, but Silva took it a little too far, almost ending the kids career.

*Silva is pissed that Richards kicked out and starts arguing with the ref- he sets his eyes back on Richards and lays into him with some stiff kicks, Harry is in a shitload of pain now. Silva then exits the ring, grabs a chair and reenters the ring with it. The ref tries his hardest to take it away from him, still lots of arguing back and forth. The ref threatens Silva with a DQ, so Silva finally gives the ref the chair, only to be rolled up by Harry Richards. The ref drops the chair and starts the count.*

One

Two

Thre…

*Silva kicks out, but Richards starts pummeling him with left and rights. Richards then lifts Silva’s head up, then quickly slams his face into the chair that is still in the ring. The ref threatens to DQ him for it, but Richards does this a few more times. The ref starts his DQ count*

One

Another slam to the chair

Two

Carter Davis: Damn this kid is on fire, I’ll give him that

Another slam to the chair

Three

Harry Esel: On the verge of getting DQ’d too.

Another slam to the chair

Four

*Richards finally stops and goes for the pin again*

One

Two

Thr…..

*Silva reaches for and grabs the ring rope, breaking the count- he then slides out the ring to get his bearings back. Silva’s face is bloodied, yet he has a shit eating grin on his face. Richards goes to exit the ring and go after Silva but the ref holds him back- then starts counting Silva out*

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

*Silva gets on the ring steps and starts laughing*

Six

*Harry Richards is getting pissed off now, he pushes the ref out the way, and gets his hands on Silva, pulling him into the ring. Richards Irish Whips him into the ropes, Silva bounces back, goes for a clothesline, Richards ducks, Silva bounces off the ropes again and looks like he is about to go for a spear. Richards goes to leap over Silva, but instead lands right into Silva’s arms. Sliva slams him to the mat, goes for the pin- with his feet on the rope to give him leverage*

One

Two

*The ref sees the ropes moving, sees Silva’s feet on the ropes and breaks the count. Silva is beyond pissed now. He gets up, gets in the refs face and starts arguing. Silva shoves the ref, the ref shoves Silva back. Richards, still on the mat, grabs Silva, rolls him up for the pin*

One

Two

Three

WINNER- Harry Richards

**Robareid** · 04-16-2012, 12:19 PM

Carter Davis: Holy Shit! The kid won, he actually fucking did it.

Harry Esel: Well, he was focused

*The ref raises Harry Richards arm in victory. Silva, all bloodied up, just sits there and looks stunned. Richards goes to leave the ring, when Silva finally gets up and attacks Richards from the back- kneeing him in the back first. Silva then slams Richards face into the turnbuckle about 10 times, bloodying Richards nose. Silva then applies the sleeper on Richards, the ref tries to pull him off but fails- Silva has it clamped on too good. Richards is out of it now. Silva lets go of the hold, drags the chair near Richards, sets Richards up for a tombstone*

Harry Esel: Not again! Poor kid’s career will definitely be over now

*Silva is about to drop Harry Richards on the chair when someone jumps over the guardrail, then jumps in the ring. Silva lets go of Richards but eats a spear from the man. The man starts beating the holy shit out of Silva*

Carter: Who the hell is that?

Harry: That’s Luc Ledesma, EWA signed him a few months back, he had to finish up his other bookings before debuting here

*The man, now identified as Luc Ledesma, yells “Payback’s a Bitch Silva” then drops Silva on the chair with a Tombstone- Silva is out. Luc helps Harry Richards to his feet and out the ring, then to the back. Members of the EMT crew come out with a board and check on Silva- who is still out. They wipe as much blood off his face as they can and check on his vitals. They carefully roll Silva on the board, strap him in and carry him off backstage*

Harry Esel: Looks like Silva’s career may be over.

Carter Davis: Well this sucks. Silva’s one bad ass motherfucker. He’ll come back stronger than ever. Harry Richards and this Ledesma will pay for what they did tonight.

Harry Esel: Harry won the match, Ledesma just came out to save Richards career

Carter Davis: Whatever. Anyway, we’re off for a while now, as we’re handing the baton back to Fury

Herb: Thanks lads

Rich: *snorts* Have you watched PAIN! Carter is anything but a “lad”

Brandon Medeiros

*Brandon Medeiros makes his way to the ring to deafening cheers. Some of the signs in the crowd read "I want to have Brandon's baby", "Brandon, Me Love You Long Time", "Lil BJ Says Hello DAD!" and "Brandon+Ashley, Sitting in a Tree, F U C K I N G, First Comes Lust, Then Comes A Bad Case of Genital Herpes, Then Comes A Trip To The Doctor And A Really High Bill"*

*Brandon just laughs at that last sign- he then asks for and receives a mic.*

Brandon: Killa, You've been a thorn in my side since day one. You've tried to put me out of action time and time again. But every time, I come back stronger and stronger. Tonight all this shit ends Killa. NO MORE! NO FUCKING MORE!

Herb: Look at the hatred in Brandon’s eyes; he looks like he’s going to kill Killa!

Rich: He better not! Otherwise the whole NYC hood is going to be on him like a cracker on another cracker.

Herb: What is that even supposed to mean?

Rich: It doesn’t matter… Killa’s already in the ring so let’s just start the match

Herb: When the fuck did he get in there?

Rich: You can blame Shining for that one

(Watch until 4: 10)

Herb: And now both men are fighting outside of the ring!

Rich: No shit Sherlock. Next you’ll be telling me what colour pants I’m wearing!

Herb: You’re not wearing any pants…

Rich: *Looks down at his legs* Oh yeah…

*Medeiros goes to pick up Killa but is greeted by an uppercut. He staggers over to the entrance ramp with Killa slowly following behind*

Herb: And the ref’s counting them out! He’s already at 6!

*Killa and Medeiros begin to trade blows with each other. With every punch that lands, the crowd (In typical British fashion) chant “WHEY!”

WHEY!

7!

WHEY!

8!

WHEY!

9!

WHEY!

10!

Rich: The referee’s calling for the bell. Both men have been counted out.

Herb: But KiLLA and Medeiros are still fighting and are showing no signs of stopping!

*Both men continue to trade blows, but KiLLA ducks under one of Medeiros’ punches and hits him with a super kick. Medeiros staggers out of view and KiLLA charges after him*

Herb: And they’re taking it to the back. We’ve got to get a camera back there.

*A few seconds pass with Herb and Rich just waiting patiently*

Rich: Well I’ve just received word that we’re on a short amount of cameras and therefore we can’t afford to get one on KiLLA and Medeiros. Apparently CJ’s borrowed the majority of them to “do some filming”, but we don’t know what it is

Herb: What a dick.

Rich: I’ve got a feeling that that’s what he’s filming!

**eyehatecena** · 04-16-2012, 07:39 PM

Herb: Well lets move on, next up is G-Scorp versus Jack Phenix

Da G-Scorp Cometh

Rich: And here comes G – Scorp! By Christ he looks ready for this one.

Herb: Well he’s had weeks to prepare for this, so there’s no excuse for slipping up

*G-Scorp starts walking down the ramp in a rather vinnie mac way as the crowd dont know what to make of it*

G-Scorp: WOW.... I'm excited to be here in our last event before untamed khaos and you all should be too...

*Crowd pops a little*

G-Scorp: I mean hell what an event we bring to you after all the drama stoppin, llama poppin thrills and spills we have had here i just gotta say that im so excited to be finally at UNTAMED KHAOS...

*Crowd Cheers now*

G-Scorp: Because after tonight i finally get to see this god forsaken country

*Crowd quickly turn to boo's now*

G-Scorp: oooh come on you cant be shocked by this "revelation" you are about the gayest country on Earth

*Crowd getting rowdy now*

G-Scorp: I can not believe you guys dont know this... like come on you have a sport called soccer or football or whatever the hell you call it today that has 11 men with one aim...... to chase a ball around for 90 minutes and the worst thing is you dont even get a result sometimes

*G-Scorps a wainker da da da dah dah(I'm guessing the crowd is chanting this??)*

G-Scorp: and then... and then you have cricket where once again you have eleven men chasing after one ball but this time for 5 whole days and although you may get to score a lot once again there is no guarantee of a result....

*crowd chanting G-Scorp Sucks*

G-Scorp: well I'm glad you guys chanted that because just as I though you pricks couldnt possibly get any gayer I found a guy who you poms love and I dont blame ya in theory cause this guy have succesfully chased two balls while your greatest sportsman in history have failed to chase one

G-Scorp: ladies and gentlemen the last member in this gay trifecta.... Elton John

*Crowd are now livid with G-Scorp*

G-Scorp: Now Now Now.... Ok Ok no need to get your panties in a knot HAHAHA

G-Scorp: Now I knew you guys would disagree with my comments which is why i have decided to bring some pictures with me... 3 to be exact and i want your reactions to each person.......

*First picture*

*G-Scorp shows a picture of Queen Elizabeth getting a nice pop*

G-Scorp: HMMM ok not bad not bad now picture number 2

*Now G-Ster shows a picture of David Beckham to which the crowd goes wild*

G-Scorp: Yeah Yeah i thought as much now the final piece of this puzzle

*G now shows a picture of Jack Phenix getting the biggest pop of the night thus far as the fans hope he can knock scorps head of tonight*

G-Scorp: Just as i thought the experiment on all you guinea pigs went according to plan you see.... all you guys simply cant get enough of queens

G-Scorp:You cheered for the Queen of England, The Queen of football and the Queen of EWA

*Crowd have had enough, some turn their backs while others are throwing their rubbish into the ring*

G-Scorp: Now settle my pettles we all know you love theatre performances but there is to be no theatris tonight as i want to explain something to you all about your favourite queens

*G-Scorp gets that wicked smile now as he had when he entered the ring*

G-Scorp: Firstly, the Queen of England, a lovely lady who will lose her title when she sooner rather then later dies..... then you have David Beckham, who will lose his title as Queen of Football when he finally quits football and you morons realise how bad he really was...

G-Scorp: And then.... you have the Queen of EWA, Jack Phenix.... who is about to come out here and in about 10 minutes is going to lose her title as the queen of EWA as she feels the sting of the G-Scorp and i become the King of EWA... The UKs first king in centuries that they can be proud of... that is of course until i catch the 12:07 from heathrow and head back to the U S of A and out of this shit hole of a place because in case you cultured jackasses didnt know this isnt the year 1612, this is 2012: The Year of The Scorp.

Rich: You’ve gotta admit… he was pretty spot on about this country.

Herb: Was he fuck? I happen to think that the people of this country are from a higher class than others. I particularly enjoy the many twists that they offer on social aspects of life, such as “Chavs” and “Emos”. It shows that this country places a high interest in its multi – cultural aspects and I for one cannot wait for the Olympics later this year, as I firmly believe that the opening ceremony will truly reflect my point.

Rich: *Mindfuck*

Jack Phenix- the TV Champion of Fury

Herb: Jack Phenix also looks ready for this match, there’s no doubt in my mind that he has also spent weeks preparing for this match.

*Jack Phenix enters the ring and looks at G – Scorp with pure hatred. He grabs a microphone and gestures for the crowd to be quiet*

Jack Phenix: Let’s just get fucking started.

Herb: *Slowly nodding his head* Well done Phenix, good mind games

Rich: What the fuck are you on?

(Watch until 4:00)

Herb: And G – Scorp has Jack Phenix tied up in-between the ropes, Phenix can’t escape!

*G – Scorp pummels Phenix with a series of left and rights. It looks like he is determined to beat him until the referee stops the fight, but Phenix continues to struggle and attempt to escape. When G – Scorp goes to punch Phenix even more, he is met by a kick to the stomach and with a few twists and turns, Phenix manages to escape*

Rich: Phenix escapes! How the fuck did he do that?

*Phenix rushes towards G – Scorp and tackles him to the ground. He punches at every bit that he can reach until the referee drags him away. He angrily confronts the referee and then turns around into a massive punch from G – Scorp, sending him flying out of the ring*

Rich: HOLY SHIT! What a massive punch from G – Scorp!

*The referee looks shocked at G – Scorp for managing to connect a punch with that amount of strength. But then a look of realization spreads across his face, as he spots G – Scorp trying to smuggle a pair of knuckledusters into his tights. He shakes his head and gestures for the bell to be rung*

Rich: Hang on? Why did the referee call for the bell?

Herb: Didn’t you just see what happened? The ref spotted that G – Scorp had used a pair of knuckledusters, that’s why his punch contained that much power.

Rich: Really? I thought it was just because G – Scorp is that strong…

*G – Scorp is still in the ring, protesting his innocence. The ref isn’t having any of it however and leaves the ring to check on Phenix. Then suddenly, purple smoke begins to fill the ring and the crowd begins to scream*

Herb: *Coughing* What’s going on?

Rich: I don’t fucking know do I? I’m as confused as you!

*G – Scorp frantically looks around the ring, trying to locate the source of the smoke. The purple smoke continues to fill the ring, until G – Scorp is completely engulfed by it. All that can be seen is the smoke and it lingers there for a few minutes. It slowly begins to disappear and when the ring is completely free of it, the crowd begins to realize that G – Scorp is missing*

Rich: Where the fuck has G – Scorp gone? He’s been kidnapped… They’ll be after me next, I’ve got to get the fuck out of here.

Herb: Sit down Rich, no one’s going to kidnap you! Who we need to look out for however is Barbie… Christ knows how we would cope if she goes missing!

Rich: But this is the second person who’s gone missing! Remember CJ’s even weirder brother? What was his name… AJ? EJ? Barack Obama?

Herb: I’m sure it’s just a stunt pulled by G – Scorp to gain publicity. He’ll probably be back by the next episode of Fury

Rich: Hopefully, well lets send it over to Harry and Carter for some PAIN! action. I've got to take a major dump.

**eyehatecena** · 04-16-2012, 08:02 PM

Last edited by eyehatecena; 04-16-2012 at 09:45 PM.

**Robareid** · 04-17-2012, 02:28 AM

Harry Esel: The next match of tonight is Ryku O'Ryan versus Gaileo. Gaileo bloodied Ryku up pretty bad last week on PAIN! after Ryku won his match.

Carter Davis: Gaileo just wanted to send him yet another message- that he hates his fucking guts.

The Fella from the Isle of Man

*Ryku O'Ryan makes his way out to the ring with a mic in hand. Chants of Ryku's name are booming throughout the arena- its getting deafening*

Harry Esel: Wow, a warm welcome for the man from the Isle of Man.

Carter Davis: That just sounds too weird. Anyways, this guy is the real thing.

Harry Esel: Damn straight

*Ryku is now in the ring, quite obviously pissed off- but he waits for the cheers to die down*

Ryku: Now it pretty obvious why I'm pissed off. The little bitch known as Gaileo bloodied up my face last week. Now normally I would just find the Fella and superkick his head off, but no, no this time, ya see I get to face him here tonight and that means I get t do more to him than just a kick to his pretty little face. No, he's gonna find out exactly what it means to piss off the Irish!

The Fella that pissed off Ryku- Mr Gaileo

*Gaileo walks down the ramp- takes a mic from the announcers table- then enters the ring across from Ryku*

Gaileo: Ryku, Ryku O'Ryan. Damn it, you imbecile, you listen to me. All of these faggots in the auidence shut up, and let the puppet master talk. Now O'Ryan, here we are, Untamed Khaos. EWA's second PPV. And we, have a match. Now you know what that means. Later tonight, it is fairly obvious that Raden Blain will disintergrate Fruity Pebble version 2.0 to become the 1st Pain Champion, and he will need a number 1 contender. And what a better choice to be number 1 contender, than myself. You see, if it is to be me as the challenger to Mr Blain, who I feel you all should address him as by the way, I need to make an impression. So for that, how about I show you, how to make a great impression. You know, I will shove my foot so far up your ass that you'll be throwing up shoelaces for a month, and that will make me number 1 contender. Now, that won't be too hard, although I might have to kick through your boyfriends semen to get there. Now Ryku, if you want to stop that, well then you can. But that will only be in your dreams, after I kick you into the next PPV.

Carter Davis: He said semen. Hu hu.

Gaileo:Now, it's time for us to steal the show, Like Sheamus and Daniel Bryan did at Wrestlemania. So in order for that, start an obnoxious chant like "Yes Yes Yes", kiss the timekeeper, and I'll put you to sleep. So ring the motherfucking bell, and let's get this started.

*Gaileo throws his mic down*

Gaileo vs. Ryku O'Ryan
Ryku O’Ryan/Bret Hart……..Gaileo/Owen Hart

*stop watching @ 11:00- ignore the fact that it’s a no holds barred match*

*Kickout by Gaileo*

Harry Esel- Great back and forth action, pretty evenly matched guys. I really thought Ryku had it won there.

Carter Davis: Me too, they both have to be tired by now

*Ryku is besides himself as he thought he had the win. Ryku lifts up Gaileo’s head and starts pounding on it. The ref pulls him off. Ryku then picks up Gaileo, slams him to the mat, but does not go for the pin. Instead, he gets Gaileo up again and swings him face first into a corner. Ryku starts to go after Gaileo yet again but the ref stops him. Ryku is now arguing with the ref.*

Harry Esel: It doesn’t seem like Ryku cares about winng now. He just wants to end Gaileo tonight after what he did to him on PAIN!

*While they are arguing, Gaileo slowly pulls himself up in the corner. Ryku pushes the ref out the way and goes after him, only to have Gaileo hit him, unseen by the ref, with a low blow. Ryku goes down to his knees and Gaileo hits him with a with a kick to the side of the head, knocking him down. Gaileo then gets on top of him and instead of pummeling into him, he pulls Ryku up by his head and bites him on his forehead.*

Carter Davis: Thats not very sanitary. I mean look at them both, all hot and sweaty. Their hard bodies glistening in the arena lights

Harry Esel: What?

*Blood is now pouring from Ryku’s forehead now while the ref is trying his best to pull Gaileo off. The ref starts to count for a DQ finish.*

One

Two

Three

Four

*Gaileo stops for a second, only to do it again*

One

Two

*Ryku reaches back and pokes Gaileo in the eye, causing him to stop for a few seconds.*

Carter Davis: Hey that was no fair! He should have been DQ'd on the spot

Harry Esel: What the fuck? Gaileo biting Ryku is worse than Ryku poking Gaileo in the eye

* Ryku goes to get up but is a bit groggy and with his face now covered with blood, he really can not see all that good- he falls back down to the mat. Gaileo Gets up and kicks Ryku in the chest a few times, grabs both legs, then clamps on the figure four leg look. Ryku is writhing in pain now, but is aware of his surroundings. He sees that the ring ropes are within his grasp, extends his arm out and grabs it.*

Harry Esel: You see, this fella really knows the game, he knows where he is at at all times. I'm telling you- he is a future EWA champion

* The ref calls for Gaileo to break the hold.*

One

Two

Three

Four

*Gaileo finally breaks the hold, and Ryku slides out the ring, falling to the floor. Gaileo goes to try to go after him but the ref is holding him back. They argue for a few seconds until Gaileo finally backs away.*

*Ryku slowly gets to his feet, wipes the blood out of his eyes. The ref starts counting him out*

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

Six

*Ryku starts to get in the ring when Gaileo rushes over there, causing the ref to push him back and restart the count*

One

Two

*Ryku is now in the ring, on his feet. The ref goes over and checks to see if he wants to continue- Ryku responds “Hell Ya Fella” Gaileo runs over, pushes the ref out the way and starts laying into Ryku causing him to fall back against the ropes. Gaileo grabs his arm and irish whips him into the ropes, Ryku bounces off, Gaileo goes for a clothesline, Ryku ducks, stops. Gaileo turns around and eats a Ryku Superkick.*

Harry Esel: Where the hell did that come from?

Carter Davis: It came from Ryku, aren't you watching the match?

Harry Esel: Thats not what I ment- nevermind

*Both men fall to the mat. Gaileo is out, Ryku gets to his feet, but still being groggy from the blood lose, falls back down, landing back first on Gaileo. The ref jumps down, sees that Gaileo’s shoulders are to the mat- starts counting*

One

Two

*Ryku tries to get up, but falls back down

Three

Winner- Ryku O’Ryan

*The ref, helps Ryku sit up- raises his arm in victory. Two members of the EMT crew enter the ring to check on Ryku, one of them helps Ryku out the ring and along with the ref, walk Ryku to the back. The other EMT member helps Gaileo to his feet. Gaileo soon finds out he lost the match, so he takes it out on the EMT member, knocking him the fuck out. Gaileo leaves the ring, grabs a chair, reenters the ring. He places the EMT members foot inside the chair. Gaileo climbs up to the top turnbuckle, turns around*

Gaileo: Ryku! This is not over. This is just a taste of more to come for you "

*Gaileo jumps down onto the chair, snapping the EMT guy's foot awkwardly- the poor guy is screaming like a big baby*

Harry Esel: What a sore loser- I hope that guys foot is ok- it looks really fucked up.

Carter Davis: Gaileo should have won. I mean Ryku is no slouch, but from the look on his face, he was surprised he won. I mean he just fell back on Gaileo.

Harry Esel: All that matters is Ryku was on top, Gaileo's shoulders were on the mat. The ref did what he did.

*Gaileo finally leaves the ring on his own accord- to a massive chorus of boos. A few members of the security team come out and carry the EMT guy to the back*

**Robareid** · 04-17-2012, 02:31 AM

*A few minutes of silence passes whilst the crew prepare for the next match. Then suddenly, there is a large roar and Medeiros flies out onto the entrance ramp. An enraged Killa follows him, with cuts and scratches all over his body*

Rich: What the fuck is going on?

*Killa grabs Medeiros up off the floor and throws him into the crowd barricade. Medeiros lets out a scream of pain and Killa laughs manically. He pulls Medeiros up again and begins to ram his head into the barricade several times*

Herb: Medeiros’ head is going to be just a bloody pulp if Killa carries on like this! We need Security out here this instant

*A large group of EWA’s Security run out onto the ramp and try to drag Killa away from Medeiros, who is slumped motionless against the barricade. Killa isn’t having any of it however and starts to lash out at the Security as well. After a few minutes of struggling, the Security manages to drag Killa away backstage. EWA’s medical team then rushes to the ramp and assist Medeiros in getting to his feet and lead him backstage too*

Herb: Well that was just… I can’t even finish my sentence, I’m in shock at what I’ve just seen

Rich: What you’ve just seen Herb, is my boy Killa showing to us why he’s the most dominant superstar on the EWA roster

*He raises his fist into the air excitedly*

STRAIGHT UP GANGSTER BRO!

Herb: You’re a twat.

The ring has been empty no for almost a minute and the crowd is becoming restless. Boos are rising in the arena.

Rich: "I'm not really sure whats going on here. There's literally been nothing happening now for a couple minutes. I'm not getting anything in my headset, I have no clue whats happening right now."

Herb: "It doesn't matter really, I'm sure it's just something technical."

Rich: "Wait a minute here, the lights are going down now. A spotlight is now showing in the ring.... what's going on here?"

Herb: "I have no idea Herb but, possibly someone coming? Maybe the venue decided not to pay their electric bill this month?"

The crowd begins to chant a ton of different things. "WE WANT WRESTLING!", "HURRY THE FUCK UP!", "BORING!" ... all of a sudden a familiar theme hits.

ARTEMIS ECLIPSE IS IN THE BUILDING!

Alot of the crowd begins to boo heavily at the site of him. He stands at the top of the ramp and motions for the crowd to get up and cheer. They boo louder. He casually makes his way to the ring and grabs a mic. He stands in the middle of the spotlight and listens to the boos and minor cheers. He cracks a smile and puts the mic to his mouth to speak.

The boos get louder and Artemis tells everyone that he can't hear them and to get louder. The crowd obliges and he gets a serious look on his face.

Rich: "WOW!! We actually have a big name JBW performer in the building tonight! This is really something different!!"

Herb: "How about you save your star gaze for a minute. Artemis isn't really a "big" name yet. He's still making a name in JBW, you about you give praise to EWA once in a while?"

Rich: "How about you kiss my ass? I'm a huge Artemis fan, even if he was a dick in attacking Douglas, and if he's here I'm all ears to hear what he has to say! I wish these people would quiet down so we can hear him!!"

The boos are dying out but they're still loud enough to hear in the background.

Artemis: "Heh. This is EWA? This is the giant up and comer company that JBW has aligned itself with? Wow. I'm actually kind of confused. When I decided to come here and get a look at the place, I thought I was actually going to be impressed! HA!

I'll say this, I never wanted to be in JBW but my manager at the time signed me there. I was content being in AWF but, what happened to that place? It folded like origami. I think this place is going to end up just like it soon enough. It's pathetic really..."

The crowd begins throwing things at Artemis and he throws things back.

Artemis: "Come on people, this is it? Look, I just signed my EWA contract tonight before I came out here so guess what? You've got a loooooooonnnngggg time to deal with me. Might as well get used to me. I wonder how long its going to take me to defeat everyone here and become a Grandslam Champion? Hell, I won't hold my breath... I might scare everyone away like I did in AWF.

Untamed Khaos is the name of this... Pay-Per-View, right? Well let me tell you all something. I'm going to make an impact in this company, and it begins tonight. I may not think this is anything big but, you know what they say about big fish in small ponds right? We own it all in the end. I definitely don't mind coming here and actually putting on matches for you people to tolerate... "Best In The World" is a term used too often. So I will tell you all that I'm the best thing going in EWA and you'll all see it soon enough."

Artemis throws the mic down and walks out of the ring. He slowly backs up the ramp and boos the crowd back for booing him.

**eyehatecena** · 04-17-2012, 10:30 AM

Herb: Wow, London really hates that guy.

Rich: I think Carter loves him- he was busy masturbating that whole segment- I was impressed. He really should have saved it for when Barbie comes out.

Herb: Um, ok. Speaking of Barbie- our next match of the night is Il Cattivo versus The Panzer Division. Lets send it to ....

Il Cattivo

Herb: I thought it was going to be a backstage promo, thats what it said in the batcave, oh well easy fix

*Il Cattivo make there way to the ring cheering and throwing there arms about in excitement*

Uliose: Ladies and Gentleman welcome to Untamed Khaos's favourite Sons

*Crowd gives a nice POP to the italians as they are facing German natives*

Roberto: We are Il Cattivo and we are the most exciting thing going around in Tag Team Fedding in a very very long time.

*Crowd mega POPPING*

Uliose: Now we may like to joke around and play games but tonight is serious

Roberto: Very Serious

Uliose: Tonight is the night we make our mark on the Tag Team Division

Roberto: The Tag Team Division

Uliose: And if Roberto repeats the end of any of my comments for the rest of the night im going to shove my boot up his arse

Roberto: Up his aaarrrr...... never mind

*Crowd giggles*

Uliose: excuse my brother hes a hell of a wrestler but his promos could do with some work now back to the Panzer Division

Roberto: Can I just say at this point Barbie has great tits

*Crowd laughs again*

Uliose: No you can not

Roberto: I think i just did

Uliose: well as far as germans go, Great tits.. shit for brains

Roberto: Thats true

Uliose: And I'm not only talking about the females

*Crowd laughs again*

Uliose: Roberto.... can I please talk about our match now

Roberto: If you must.....

Uliose: Karl... Oli... listen to me right now as this message is very important...... if you dont want to be known as the worst tag team here i would challenge the Turnes after they lose tonight and prove you can beat somebody but we were one second away from becoming EWA Tag Team Champions against TOAK and we want a rematch and tonight we will earn that because Losing isnt winning is it Roberto?

Roberto: NO

Il Cattivo: Il Cattivo is Winning

Das Panzer Division mit Barbie Panzer

*The Panzer Division along with manager Barbie make their way down the ramp and into the ring- mics in hand. Oli holds the rope open for Barbie, Barbie enters Velvet Sky style- to the delight of the crowd. She is wearing a strategically torn official EWA Panzer Division T-shirt and a EWA cap. She is also wearing a barely there miniskirt with I Heart Mike Muir on the front lower left side.*

Barbie: *She throws her cap into the crowd- causing a little fight to break out for it* Tonight my brothers finally end the careers of these filthy little wanna be Italians- Il Cattivo. I say filthy because they smell of shit. Last week my brothers won the best of three series, with a lil help from my um, assets, allowing them to pick the stipulation of tonights match- a tables match. A match where…

Karl: … A match where there is no place to run, no place to hide. We will put a hurting on you both like nothing you have ever felt before. You will only wish you were dead.

Barbie: Actually that’s what their breath smells like. When I, uh, distracted the one Il Cavitto brother with my breast, I had to hold my breath the stench was so God awful bad.

Oli: How do you think we feel Barbs? I just thought we literally scared the shit out of them everytime they meet us in the ring- but its just the way they smell.

Karl: Regardless of their smell- we will send them packing out of here. We will be the number one contenders to the EWA World Tagteam Championship title. And in time, we will take those belts from Two of a Kind.

Oli: So Wonder and Conrad, you best be paying attention to our match – what we do to Il Cavitto tonight is just a mere teaser to what’s coming your way

Karl: So guys- time to meet your maker.

*The Il Cattivo brothers smell their armpits, and smell each others breath and just shrug*

**Robareid** · 04-17-2012, 12:20 PM

Devon = Karl Panzer / Bubba Ray = Oli Panzer // Jeff Hardy = Roberto Pamich / Matt Hardy = Uliose Panzer

*ignore pre match promo*

*Stop watching at 5:31*

Herb: Damn. Oli just stopped all of Uliose’s momentum with one big headbutt

Oli then follows up by hitting a quick DDT on Uliose

Rich: There you go, now Oli got him right where he wants him

Oli then pulls Uliose back to his feet, grabs one of his arms, pushes him away then quickly pulls him back hitting a nasty short arm clothesline

Now content with the fact that Uliose is beat down enough that he won’t be going anywhere, Oli goes over to the table in the ring, and positions it in the corner

Rich: This could be it right here

Oli goes back over to Uliose, lifts him to his feet and tries to Irish whip him through the table, but Uliose reverses with a drop toe hold sending Oli onto the second rope (619 position)

Herb: Great reversal

Suddenly, Roberto runs up from the outside

Herb: What a move!

In the ring Uliose is already running the ropes and comes back to hit the groggy Oli Panzer with a big running knee

Herb: Great combination, Oli looks out of it

Karl Panzer then slides into the ring behind Uliose and flattens him with a lariat to the back of the head

Rich: But Karl isn’t

Karl quickly hoists Uliose onto his shoulder in the powerslam position and begins running towards the table

Rich: It’s over!

Before Karl can plant him through the table however, Roberto Pamich enters the ring and hits a drop toe hold on Karl. This means that Uliose still receives a powerslam just not through the table, but nevertheless he rolls out of the ring due to the impact

Herb: Great save right there

Rich: What are you talking about, he just caused his own man to get powerslamed

Herb: He saved the match didn’t he?

Rich: But for how long?

Karl is back up quickly so Roberto runs off the ropes, ducks a clothesline from Karl then handsprings into the ropes, before bouncing back into a shiranui!

Herb: Holy shit what a move

Rich: Wow, I’m impressed…

Roberto then goes over to the table in the corner, pulls it out and positions it upright (how tables normally are) and pulls Karl up onto it, then climbs up onto the top of the nearby turnbuckle

Herb: The end is nigh to this match

But Herb is wrong, before Roberto can dive off, Barbie Panzer pops up onto the apron and grabs his leg

Rich: The advantages of managers. Genius move.

After several seconds Roberto manages to pull himself free but by this time Karl has gotten up off of the table and he hits him with a clubbing forearm, dazing him

Karl then climbs up onto the top rope with Roberto, and pulls him up so that they are both standing upright on the top turnbuckle with Karl holding Roberto in a position setting up a superplex

Herb: Either way, this one is ending here

Rich: Roberto going to be broken into as many pieces as the table after this

Just as Karl is about to hit the move, Roberto suddenly jumps up, kneeing Karl in the face. Karl wobbles on the top rope, before slowly teetering backwards towards the table

Herb: Il Cattivo have won!

But Barbie, still on the apron, realising that her brother is about to fall through the table pulls out Roberto’s legs from underneath him, causing him to fly down towards the table too

They both crash through the table at the same time

Herb: What?

Rich: Who won?

The whole O2 arena looks confused by the outcome of the match, none more so than the referee. After several seconds of scratching his head, he motions for the bell to ring

Rich: Well, who won?

Herb: It’s got to be Il Cattivo, Karl must have hit the table first

Rich: Are you sure?

The ring announcer comes over to the ref and they have a quick exchange of words before Lillian announces

Lillian: Due to both men falling through the table at the same time, the result of this match is… A DRAW

*Crowd boo at this shitty finish, they want a winner*

Herb: What! A draw

Rich: You can’t have a draw!

Herb: Who’s the number one contenders?

*Crowd are chanting bullshit repeatedly*

Rich: For once I’ve got to agree with the crowd here

Herb: Well after all that we still don’t have new number one contenders. I’m sure CJ will clear it up sooner or later though

Rich: Oh great *facepalms*

Herb: Speaking of the tag titles we’re now going to the back to see our current tag champs Two of a Kind in preparation for their match

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