Ashley Ion vs April Snow
Ashley/Hamada ……April/Daffney
*Stop watching @ 6:55 *
*April Snow has knocked Ashley Ion off the ring apron onto the arena floor, then jumps down and hits Ashley with a double axe handle on the way down, knocking her into the barricades near the fans. The ref starts to count them out *
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*April lifts Ashley up and Irish Whips her into the side of the ring. Ashley drops to the floor in pain, but April, with all the strength she has, picks Ashley up and shoves her into the ring, then enters the ring herself. April drags Ashley to the middle of the ring then races to the corner, climbing to the top turnbuckle. She lets out a loud scream before jumping off for a frog splash, missing Ashley because she rolled out the way. Both women slowly get to their feet, but Ashley is still a little woozy after all the punishment she has been through. April tries for an enzugiri, but Ashley ducks it and immediately goes right into a crippler cross face on April so fast it even catches the ref off guard. April struggles to get free, but refuses to tap out. April slowly inches her way toward the ropes, eventually making it there and grasping the bottom ring rope to force Ashley to break the hold, yet she refuses to let go, forcing the ref to start a DQ count *
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*Ashley finally lets go, but the damage has been done. Ashley drags April away from the ropes and applies a rear chin lock on April, further wearing April down. Ashley lets go to get a better grip, and when she does that, April jerks her head back hitting Ashley in the face with as much force as she can muster. Ashley is knocked back and falls on her butt, but quickly gets back up. April, weakened crawls to the ropes and pulls her self up. As she starts to back away from the ropes, Ashley is waiting right behind her hitting her with the Hostile Makeover, yes TNA’s Zema Ion’s move- except Ashley actually looks hot while doing it *
*Ashley covers April for the pin *
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WINNER- Ashley Ion
Lillian Garcia: And now for the third match of the night. Introducing first- straight from a trailer park. What the hell? A trailer park? Bertha Ray
Bertha Ray- and yes, this is her theme song
*Bertha Ray, looking like a low rent ODB, makes her way out on the ramp with a cup in hand- she spits some tobacco in it and starts heading to the ring. Bertha enters the ring, and spits the rest of her tobacco into the cup and places it in the corner. She then takes the mic from Lillian- the crowd hates her *
Bertha Ray: * Looking at Lillian * Now git da fuck out ma way ya shank. We all know you could not hack it in WWE anymore since ya turning into an old hag *Lillian, still a very hot woman, just looks at Bertha mouthing WTF? * Now as to the reason I’m ma here- well let me tell ya. Sasha Panzer and I had crossed paths before in da indies. And out of da blue, she called meh and told me about EWA starting a womens division. And since I needed da money after getting busted for making meth- I figured why da fuck not sign meh ass up
*The crowd is chanting METH HEAD! METH HEAD! METH HEAD! *
Bertha: Shut ya fuckin traps ya cunts. Now Sasha got ma foot in the door- but I decided to make an impact as soon as I could. Ma first week here- well I saw dat PAIN! interviewer Faith just standing in da hall, looking all purty and proper. She wuz calling out for an ass whooping and well I wuz just da one to give it to her. And I wuz givin it to her good I tell ya- until that skanky ass Barbie Doll, her redneck Ken fuck buddy, and some funny talking Irish guy showed up, along with some security dude. Dey had to ruin it- but it got meh ma first match here, against the Barbie Doll. I embarrassed that skank beyond belief. And I had da match won until Ken Doll made his way out. And the week after on PAIN!- Barbie Doll was in her home town of Berlin- well ma girl Sasha and I beat da fuck out of her when she was doing her sappy – Oh I’m glad to be home blah blah blah I ma skank speech.
*The crowd is booing the fuck out of her now *
Bertha: And we were beating that skanks ass good until da purty, proper Faith stuck her skank ass into the picture, helping out da Barbie Doll. I’ll deal with da bitch Faith in time. But now, NOW! I get to fuck that Barbie Doll up again, and move on in the tournament and win that Bitch Cat Belt . Here ya go ole hag *Bertha throws the mic back to Lillian *
Lillian: And her opponent- hailing from Berlin Germany- Barbie Panzer
The lovely Barbie Panzer
*Barbie Panzer, dressed in ring wear like Trish Stratus and looking smoking hot, comes out to massive cheers. She stands on the stage and soaks in the cheers before heading to the ring. She walks up the stairs, walks to the ropes and straddles them Velvet Sky style- the crowd is loving it. Once she has finished shaking her fine ass, she immediately goes after Bertha Ray *
Ashley/Hamada ……April/Daffney
*Stop watching @ 6:55 *
*April Snow has knocked Ashley Ion off the ring apron onto the arena floor, then jumps down and hits Ashley with a double axe handle on the way down, knocking her into the barricades near the fans. The ref starts to count them out *
One
Two
Three
*April lifts Ashley up and Irish Whips her into the side of the ring. Ashley drops to the floor in pain, but April, with all the strength she has, picks Ashley up and shoves her into the ring, then enters the ring herself. April drags Ashley to the middle of the ring then races to the corner, climbing to the top turnbuckle. She lets out a loud scream before jumping off for a frog splash, missing Ashley because she rolled out the way. Both women slowly get to their feet, but Ashley is still a little woozy after all the punishment she has been through. April tries for an enzugiri, but Ashley ducks it and immediately goes right into a crippler cross face on April so fast it even catches the ref off guard. April struggles to get free, but refuses to tap out. April slowly inches her way toward the ropes, eventually making it there and grasping the bottom ring rope to force Ashley to break the hold, yet she refuses to let go, forcing the ref to start a DQ count *
One
Two
Three
Four
*Ashley finally lets go, but the damage has been done. Ashley drags April away from the ropes and applies a rear chin lock on April, further wearing April down. Ashley lets go to get a better grip, and when she does that, April jerks her head back hitting Ashley in the face with as much force as she can muster. Ashley is knocked back and falls on her butt, but quickly gets back up. April, weakened crawls to the ropes and pulls her self up. As she starts to back away from the ropes, Ashley is waiting right behind her hitting her with the Hostile Makeover, yes TNA’s Zema Ion’s move- except Ashley actually looks hot while doing it *
*Ashley covers April for the pin *
One
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Three
WINNER- Ashley Ion
Lillian Garcia: And now for the third match of the night. Introducing first- straight from a trailer park. What the hell? A trailer park? Bertha Ray
Bertha Ray- and yes, this is her theme song
*Bertha Ray, looking like a low rent ODB, makes her way out on the ramp with a cup in hand- she spits some tobacco in it and starts heading to the ring. Bertha enters the ring, and spits the rest of her tobacco into the cup and places it in the corner. She then takes the mic from Lillian- the crowd hates her *
Bertha Ray: * Looking at Lillian * Now git da fuck out ma way ya shank. We all know you could not hack it in WWE anymore since ya turning into an old hag *Lillian, still a very hot woman, just looks at Bertha mouthing WTF? * Now as to the reason I’m ma here- well let me tell ya. Sasha Panzer and I had crossed paths before in da indies. And out of da blue, she called meh and told me about EWA starting a womens division. And since I needed da money after getting busted for making meth- I figured why da fuck not sign meh ass up
*The crowd is chanting METH HEAD! METH HEAD! METH HEAD! *
Bertha: Shut ya fuckin traps ya cunts. Now Sasha got ma foot in the door- but I decided to make an impact as soon as I could. Ma first week here- well I saw dat PAIN! interviewer Faith just standing in da hall, looking all purty and proper. She wuz calling out for an ass whooping and well I wuz just da one to give it to her. And I wuz givin it to her good I tell ya- until that skanky ass Barbie Doll, her redneck Ken fuck buddy, and some funny talking Irish guy showed up, along with some security dude. Dey had to ruin it- but it got meh ma first match here, against the Barbie Doll. I embarrassed that skank beyond belief. And I had da match won until Ken Doll made his way out. And the week after on PAIN!- Barbie Doll was in her home town of Berlin- well ma girl Sasha and I beat da fuck out of her when she was doing her sappy – Oh I’m glad to be home blah blah blah I ma skank speech.
*The crowd is booing the fuck out of her now *
Bertha: And we were beating that skanks ass good until da purty, proper Faith stuck her skank ass into the picture, helping out da Barbie Doll. I’ll deal with da bitch Faith in time. But now, NOW! I get to fuck that Barbie Doll up again, and move on in the tournament and win that Bitch Cat Belt . Here ya go ole hag *Bertha throws the mic back to Lillian *
Lillian: And her opponent- hailing from Berlin Germany- Barbie Panzer
The lovely Barbie Panzer
*Barbie Panzer, dressed in ring wear like Trish Stratus and looking smoking hot, comes out to massive cheers. She stands on the stage and soaks in the cheers before heading to the ring. She walks up the stairs, walks to the ropes and straddles them Velvet Sky style- the crowd is loving it. Once she has finished shaking her fine ass, she immediately goes after Bertha Ray *




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