A video package begins to roll its footage. The White House slowly fades into view as a voiceover of the President of the United States, Barack Obama, solemnly utters the words:
"I'm Barack Obama and I approve this message."
Before what appeared to be a 2012 election Presidential campaign advertisement is able to commence any further, the video halts to the sound of a record scratch along with the picture fading into black and white.
As expected from the voice, A.W. walks in from the left of the screen, hands stuffed in the pockets of his black blazer whilst shaking his head in disgust. He looks down at the ground, sighs and looks back up, facing the camera directly pointed at him.
A.W.: I'll bet you've seen this kind of crap a lot of times before, haven't you? And of course, it's the same, monotonous drivel that doesn't really influence your decision to begin with. Either way, your choice on who you're voting for is pretty much gonna remain the same. Now don't get me wrong, I'm an Obama supporter through and through but don't ya'll think it's time for a more important, relevant cause to be supported? I'm talkin' about In Your House.
That's the PPV that changes everything that happens in the world of wrestling but more specifically, the tag team division. The fate of tag team wrestling falls on your shoulders, America and not just you but for every country, every nation, every creed that supports and watches the WWE. Let's face to people, the states of the tag team division is in turmoil, a deficit thanks to the selfish ambitions of tag teams and the abandonment of unity, the sole aspect that personifies brotherhood and tag teams as a whole. And besides this, some of these teams are just whack!
I mean, you got Haas and Benjamin. If charisma could be converted into gasoline, those two together wouldn't be able to make a full lap around a hula hoop. Cryme Tyme? Money, money? Yeah right! Monopoly money's more like it. Those two hoodrats probably have to ask for layaway when they order off the Dollar Menu. Good luck scoring any class ladies in those rags. Kings of Wrestling aren't any better. If anything, they should be called the Kings of Waning because as soon as Claudine opens his mouth to talk on the stick or Hero locks in an armbar, my interest just wanes. And last but not least, we've got American Perfection, a trio of two-faced crooks who only seem to be able to get their messages across by attacking people from behind or after they're beaten down and exhausted. Are these the sort of people you want to be calling YOUR champions? YOUR representation of what tag team wrestling is supposed to be? I implore all of you to vote for The Primetime Players as the men who will fight in YOUR corner, as the band of heroes who will restore valor to the tag team division again. But if that's not not enough of an incentive for you...
The Primetime Players theme song starts playing in the background as Titus O'Neil and Darren Young run up from beind the camera, holding some items in their grasps. Young holds up a comb.
Young: Tired of nappy beads jankin' up your 'fro? If you vote for us, one of you lucky dogs will get this free, unused AND autographed comb, courtesy of "Mr. No Days Off"!
O'Neil: And I'm sure that most of ya'll aren't as blessed as "Sex Appeal" Titus O'Neil but don't worry about that cause one of you people, who votes for us of course, will receive this Motivational Blu-Ray disc where I teach you to unlock your inner Titus and get all the dimes tapping at your door and YOU'LL be tapping some of that...
A.W.: Woah, big fella! Keep it clean! I think they get the message. So remember ya'll, vote for Primetime Players for In Your House and support us on our rise to fame and...MILLIONS OF DOLLARS!
All three men start chanting "Millions of Dollars!" over and over as the video cuts off.