Dug this one out of the archives... It was the last one I did. More to follow... Hopefully!
An excerpt from St George's book - By George
I woke to the sound of my apartment door slamming shut. Oh man my head hurt, self inflicted of course, but I wasn't sure where or when it happened. I managed to drag myself out of uncle Ned and proceeded to try and get my brain into gear. First things first, a cup of Rosie. As I poured the water into the kettle, I started to get flashbacks about the night before, but snapped out of my daze by my dog beeping at me. The battery was low. I had six missed calls from Theo, and one voicemail. I listened to the message, it was from Theo. The message said....
"Hey George, where the fuck are ya bruv? I really hope you didn't do what I think you did last night. He'll be fuckin..."
And then the battery went flat. *I started to ponder what i'd done last night that could of been so bad. I walked to the toilet and there it was, proof of the events that took place the night before. Lying in the hall way were two, yes two, pairs of Alan Whickers. Both lace, one red and one black... Very sexy. The nights events started to flood back to me, and I realised that I'd been a very naughty julius. So who slammed the door shut to awaken me? Or more importantly, who did the Alan Whickers belong too? I will tell all later.*
Two years ago when I joined a certain Fed (cannot name for legal reasons), I used to room with a julius called "Bad Ken Thriven". Now Ken used to be a good julius and a right Steffi Graf, but things started to change. We were tagging together at the time, under the name Adnate China's, and were very successful together. We'd not long won the belts and Ken's attitude changed dramatically. He was acting like a spoiled dustbin lid, and in my opinion it was down to jealousy. Ken always wanted to be the one who was more over with the crowd, he started to copy movesets and promos from others in the business. He always wanted to give the biggest pasting to our opponents, and always wanted to pin them. He got so power hungry that he started to get on everybodys West Ham reserves... Even me.
We'd go out after a show for a few brittanys, paint the town red, have a ruby and pull a few cadbury swirls to take home with us. They were great times, well for me anyway. Ken wasn't a looker like me, and his whit, humour and chat up lines were about as useful as a chocolate tea pot.
The tension between us was building up and you could tell that something was going to be said, or happen. After a work out in the gym, me, Ken and half of the roster were in the changing room. I was in the shower, when I heard Ken shout "George! Get the fuck out here now!" what now I thought. What does this aunt Annie want. I walked into the lockerroom and there was Ken holding his large White towel with a big shit stain down the middle of it.
I immediately pissed myself laughing at this obvious practical rum and coke. "you did this George, your dirty bastard!" he said. Now a rums a rum, but this wasnt me. "ah Ken man, fuck off. It weren't me china. My shit ain't that brown!" The lockerroom erupted with laughter. All the julius' thought it was hilarious... And then BOSH!!!!
The back n front caught me with my back to him and he nailed me across the back of the head with a dumbbell. That was it, I was out cold. I awoke stark bollock naked on the floor with some of the guys around me. I got straight to my feet and got dressed. Man, my fucking head hurt. I wasn't gonna forget this in a hurry.*
I was later told that it was Tremendous Trig Shovells who wiped his bottle n glass on Ken's towel. I decided that I wasn't going to let this incident get the better of me. I was a tag champ, earning good brass and working my way to the top of the company... Ken could wait. Things went from bad to worse after that. We barely spoke, we disagreed on match plays and ideas. It all came to ahead just before the "Londons burning!" ppv. I was scheduled to win the WHC belt (for my first time) against Tremendous Trig Shovells. We'd gone over the match and had some pretty decent ideas. Then the boss calls me into his office and tells me that I failed a drug test and I'm suspended. Great. The biggest match of my career and it was ruined. I know what had happened, and who had done it. That twat Ken.
Better still, who do you think was taking my spot in the main event? Yeah Ken... Tosser. I called Theo and explained what had happened, and decided to go out and get Brahms n listd. We went round town all night until we finally settled at our local night club. Two cadburys came over and me and Theo turned on the charm. We started drinking tequila. One after another, after another until Theo could take no more. He got himself a cab and went home, leaving me with the two lovely cadburys.
After a few more brittanys, I decided enough was enough, and invited the cadburys back to my pad for a bit of Georgie love. One thing lead to another and I managed to bang both of them. What a night! All three of us fell asleep on the uncle Ned.
I woke to the sound of my apartment door slamming shut. Oh man my head hurt, self inflicted of course, but I wasn't sure where or when it happened. I managed to drag myself out of uncle Ned and proceeded to try and get my brain into gear. First things first, a cup of Rosie. As I poured the water into the kettle, I started to get flashbacks about the night before, but snapped out of my daze by my dog beeping at me. The battery was low. I had six missed calls from Theo, and one voicemail. I listened to the message...
"Hey George, where the fuck are ya bruv? I really hope you didn't do what I think you did last night. He'll be fuckin..."
And then the battery went flat. *I started to ponder what i'd done last night that could of been so bad. I walked to the toilet and there it was, proof of the events that took place the night before. Lying in the hall way were two, yes two, pairs of Alan Whickers. Both lace, one red and one black... Very sexy. The nights events started to flood back to me, and I realised that I'd been a very naughty julius. So who slammed the door shut to awaken me? Or more importantly, who did the Alan Whickers belong too? *Didn't you know? It was Ken's sister and girlfriend!
Well, hesitate no longer, as Kash has done something about it.Kashdinero..... No gimmicks needed!
Originally Posted by broc808
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