In the process of setting up, I get some guy walking up to me. He was chewing gum and speaking rather nonchalantly.
Him: Alright, fella. What ya usin'?
Me: Traktor S4 (it's the playout system).
Him: Oh, you're a laptop DJ.
Me: (standing up) Yeah...
Him: I prefer Vinyl. Sounds better, y'know, bruh?
Me: Oh, you're a DJ too?
Him: Yeah, man. I was gonna do this gig tonight, but I said nah. Wanna be on this side for my mate, y'know?
Me: I completely understand. Now fuck off.
Me: I'm here to entertain my clients and their guests. I'm not here to have a fucking DJ convention. You wanna talk about DJ'ing, take a leaflet and give me a call any time Monday to Friday and I will happily talk to you about lights, sound, mixes and even cable ties but for tonight, fuck off.
Him: C'mon guy. I'm just trying to be nice.
Me: You're not. You've come over here to judge me and my gear and I'm not in the fucking mood. And if you're a 'DJ' why are you in here? If you were in the business, you'd be working on a Saturday night. But you're not. Do you know why? You're not a DJ. You've got two turntable, a handfull of vinyl and a fucking bedroom. So, I refer you to my original thesis: fuck off.