IWA: Insane Wrestling Association

[Robareid]

FINALLY! The promo has come to... ME! Time to get on with it

Right, finally finished reading Lost Cause, a really great show, props to all involved. The last two matches were both really special, and really felt like a big deal. I'm going to leave some constructive critisism now, hope you don't mind. Don't get me wrong, I loved the show, but, in my eyes at least, here's how you could make it even better.

1 - Linking the show together. Now this is always a tricky part for writing shows, andit's not easy to get right, but I really feel the overall shows could benefit from being linked together better. It kind'a just felt like match after match rather than one show

2 - Overkill in the matches. Now ths may just be personal preference, so I'd like to see if others agree with me, as it could well just be me, but I think in a lot of the matches you went a bit over kill. Stuff like both guys getting back up after somebody (Shaz I think) hit a Flip Piledriver off a ladder, and Kyojin kicking out of a super package piledriver. It all just feels a bit much, and devalues the moves as a whole. Finishers should be finishers in my book, but I'm all for the occassional finisher kickout to keep things interesting, but this was happening several times in every matchup, and with the two examples I mentioned, these are't just regular finishers, these are super versions of finishers, and the match really shouldn't go on after it in my eyes. Especially in mid card matches, this shouldn't be happening. You can make an occassional exception in a main event, but in the opening few matches you shouldn't be having a flip piledriver off the top of a ladder being treated as a mid match move.

If you read this and disagree/agree, then please say. If everybody disagrees with me then there's no ay Bear should act on what I've said, and just keep doing what the majority likes, but on the other hand if many feel the same as me it means a lot more than just one guys opinion.

Don't take this as an insult Bear, it was a great show, I just want the shows to get EVEN better

If I could here some other people's opinions on this, it'd be great. i'd love to know if it was just me

Nope, I don't take it as an insult. You articulated your thoughts and came across in a constructive manner. I'd be pissed if you just bashed it now to your points.

1) What do you mean linking together? Like commentary between matches? What are you looking for?

2) as for the second one, I disagree. To me its not where the match is on the card, its the point in the feud. If i took two random guys and threw them in the match together, i wouldnt have high spots like I did in the Hawk/Shaz match, Kyojin/Hart match, or the triple threat tables match or steel cage. I get your point about consistency in that you don't want to have someone nail their finisher 3 times in a match as it takes away from the quality and makes it unrealistic. In my eyes when I write a show, if I say "Kyojin hits his finisher, goes for pin, misses, both men get to their feet" it's not like they hop back up like lickity split, they have to force themselves up. I guess that comes down to me being a little more descriptive and not assuming people are going to think the same thing I think

Also, thank you Rob. This is the kind of criticism I am looking for with shows, so I can see how you guys feel the product will be better

1) I'm not entirely sure, perhaps a bit more comentary would help, talking about the aftermath of the match and what's still up and coming. Also, instead of just writing "the camera changes to" you could have the commentators actually talk about it. I'm not a 100% sure, I just felt the show felt a little disjointed.

2) Okay, I get your points, but for a match like Hart vs. Kyojin, with really not too much build, how can you say that a Super Package Piledriver warranted a kickout? In my eyes nobody should ever be kicking out of that, with the rare exception of a several month long feud main event final battle between the two. This wasn't that.

Also, after Shaz had hit the flip piledriver off the ladder, they both got up at the same time and began trading blows if I remember correctly. Surely Hawk should have been all but dead, much worse off than Shaz who, although hurt, should be a lot better off. Could just be me though. I'm not sure if I'm the only one who does this, but I like to visualise the matches, and these two incidents didn't add up in my mind.


As for the Steel Cage match and Tables match, I felt you got it just right with those too. They had an epic feel, they fitted their place on the card, yet they still felt realistic.

[eyehatecena]

I agree with Roba- its some of the little things that make the shows even better- better segues(I hope I spelled that correct) into the next matches. And thats with most shows on all the efeds.

As for the other things he said- one thing you pointed out bear I guess that comes down to me being a little more descriptive and not assuming people are going to think the same thing I think. Thats one thing Roba as EWA boss pointed out to Ben, Shining and myself- being more descriptive- it made us better writers and therefore better shows were put out. Of course you have always been a great writer

[Robareid]

I agree with Roba- its some of the little things that make the shows even better- better segues(I hope I spelled that correct) into the next matches. And thats with most shows on all the efeds.

As for the other things he said- one thing you pointed out bear I guess that comes down to me being a little more descriptive and not assuming people are going to think the same thing I think. Thats one thing Roba as EWA boss pointed out to Ben, Shining and myself- being more descriptive- it made us better writers and therefore better shows were put out. Of course you have always been a great writer

Ah, EWA reminicing, brings a tear to my eye *goes and cries in a corner*

[eyehatecena]

Ah, EWA reminicing, brings a tear to my eye *goes and cries in a corner*

sorry, but you were a great teacher Roba- now go back to your crying, lol

[wrestlingfan66513]

Ah, EWA reminicing, brings a tear to my eye *goes and cries in a corner*

speaking of that when is the final show coming?


Also I agree on the moves thing, there were a lot of high impact moves in the ladder match from the 25 foot 450 splash and the and the flip piledriver and it just seemed like the action came back a little to quickly.

[eyehatecena]

speaking of that when is the final show coming?


Also I agree on the moves thing, there were a lot of high impact moves in the ladder match from the 25 foot 450 splash and the and the flip piledriver and it just seemed like the action came back a little to quickly.

Actually Roba didn't have any doings with the last show that is planned. I think Destruction came up with the card. Where its at now- Eddie wrote a match, Pau wrote a match, guest writer wrote one of his two matches, and all mine have been done. Not sure if Des or Shining had done any of their stuff yet but I know they are busy with other stuff

[Robareid]

speaking of that when is the final show coming?


Also I agree on the moves thing, there were a lot of high impact moves in the ladder match from the 25 foot 450 splash and the and the flip piledriver and it just seemed like the action came back a little to quickly.

Final show?

[The Tyndall Effect]

Final show?

I too am confused. We can't kill it now, BMW just got here all the way!

[Robareid]

Right, mahousive promo finished. 8 pages in total on word size 11, that's going to be a bitch to PM...

Does anybody have Bear's email, I'd much rather send it all together rather than spend ages splitting it into peice only for it to be put back together atthe end again.

[eyehatecena]

I too am confused. We can't kill it now, BMW just got here all the way!

They were talking about the final EWA show, lol. Roba if you want to look at the card and matches done so far- just look in the ewa batcave- you may have to clean out some dust, kill some spiders and such.