IC: Listen up chumps. I bench press a whopping 125, I squat a dynamic 187.5, and I don't dead lift because they say that sh_t is bad for your back! I'm here because of one thing and one thing only; BORDEM! You heard me right. I am bored and I am here to cut a promo for the simple fact that I can. Sure, you guys are going to cry and moan that I don't have a character. You'll all point out that I'm not even on a waiting list to debut a character. Some of you might even threaten to take these words of gold to the highest of powers because I am wrecking your game, and that's not fair to the spirit of the IWA! But if that is you're way of thinking than you are missing the entire direction of this little promo. I am here to entertain; not you Benny... Not you B-Mac... Not you CM Rock-Austin, if that IS your real name... I am here to entertain MYSELF.
Now that we got that fact out of the way, I am going to point out a few things. First of all Benny, you and me ain't friends. We ain't ever been friends, and we ain't ever gonna be friends. But I love your avatar (Top Cat was awesome) so I had to talk to you and use my Macho Man quote; now let's move onto more pressing matters. B-Mac, you spend far too much time visually violating platypuses and you should be reported to the Australian wing of PETA for that. You are a disgusting human being, and that's why I love you. CM, I should roast you a new one but you have the ability to see beauty in all races of women. All who have come in contact with me know that I preach tolerance so for me to roast someone as openly anti-racist in their choice of women would be a contradiction of character. And since I put IC before this post, all of you know that I am in character and can't break it until I post OCC. But I am not OCC, I am IC.
TTC, you should be slapped for putting an asterisk in place of a vowel for the word F_CK... The asterisk is so 2010; the in crowd only use underscores to substitute vowels in words like f_ck, sh_t, d_mn, c_n't (that's right the shortened word for "can not" is a swear word in my house!), h_ll, p_ss, D_oD_o Head, J_rkf_ce, and so forth. From now on, you shall follow my lead or you will no longer be known as the "cool guy" from the IWA.
And finally, the guy whose name has been mistaken for sexual lubricants all OVER these forums; you're beloved K2. The BJ Kid (yes, that's a PG post because BJ isn't a sexual act and K2 knows it). K2, we've had our battles from the WWE threads, to the TNA threads, and back to the CBOT. You have done EVERYTHING in your possible control to obliterate the thoughts of GOTIS, and to treat Denny as the Golga to your Kurrgan. But I'll let you know that John Tenta was more respected in the wrestling industry than Robert Mailet EVER was! You should be ashamed of yourself for trying to keep a good man down and make yourself seem as the king floppy d_ck of the IWA. You're the typical jock who rules the high school with an iron fist of wedgies and a sharp tongue of 'Your Mom' retorts, yet when you venture into the real world, you become the typical grub; easy pickings in a rotten log that is wicked gross to watch get eaten on Man vs. Wild.
So there you have it, IWA. The promo of a life time. Like it; of course you will since I spoke it. Love it; you must since I am always right... But no matter what, you'll always remember this as the day when DRG got so bored he finally posted in the eFed's section of the EWN!!!
P.S. (still in IC, just so you know) Hey Bmac... F_CK you’re 100 word cap; I go so hard the Doctors issue a biopsy to determine if I’m malignant or benign!