IWA Offical Show Thread

[Vandarius]

Mike: Welcome ladies and gentlemen to IWA Sunday Night Chaos!

Rocky: We have a lot of action in store for you people here tonight, and ...



Chris Divine's new music blares over the PA system, as the fans actually cheer for Divine. He walks out from the back carrying the JBW Intercontinental title on his shoulder. He stands at the top of the ramp for a moment, before making his way down the ramp and into the ring.

Mike: Wow! What a way to start Chaos off, with Chris Divine!

Rocky: Last week, he and Tommy Thunder shocked the wrestling world, when Divine challenged Thunder to a match, 1 year in advance.

Mike: It's official, Tommy Thunder vs Chris Divine for the first time at Destined for Immortality II. The question now is..what's next?

Rocky: We know Tommy Thunder isn't here tonight. So I'm wondering what Divine has to say.

Divine is in the ring, where he now has a mic, as his music fades. He raises the microphone, while looking around.

Divine: One year. One year from now, Divine will stand in this ring, and face arguably the biggest name in wrestling today...Tommy Thunder....

The fans immediately erupt in a huge Thunder chant.

Divine: One year...but that leaves everyone wondering...what is going to happen with Divine in the next year. Divine has been hit up on twitter, Divine has been hit up on facebook, Divine has been even hit up on myspace..that's how many people have been wondering what is going on with Divine. So...Divine is going to lay it out for all of you. Divine has considered leaving...Divine has considered leaving IWA, leaving EWNCW, leaving JBW, and going over seas to hone Divine's skills. Hell, if Divine is wanting to beat Thunder, if Divine is wanting to put on a 5 star, unforgettable match, then Divine needs to adapt, and over seas, they have technical, hardcore, high flying, they have it all!

Mike: What!? Chris Divine can't leave!

Rocky: Let him leave.

Divine: Divine isn't leaving though..no...Divine is staying here in IWA. So that still leaves the question, what's next. Well, Divine has sat back on the sidelines, in ICW, and in IWA, and watched, as people like Van Hooligan X, AJ Dixon, and Shaz, stood at the top of the mountain, and made the company they represented look like a fool while holding the world title. See, that's the problem. This company has never had someone at the front, at the top, who these fans can get behind, who these fans can cheer for, and who took the title to a whole new level. Yeah, there was Kyojin, but let's be honest, he won the World title just as ICW closed, and yeah, there was KJ Punk, but come on...he is best known for his catch phrase. His singular catch phrase. Divine means, atleast Divine has multiple catch phrases!

Divine chuckles, as some fans laugh and cheer, but a few boos are heard.

Divine: So...Divine stands here, wanting to bring a change to IWA. Now, Divine knows Smokey set up this beat the clock challenge for AJ Dixon and KJ Punk....but Divine doesn't care. Divine wants Shaz 1 on 1 in this ring, Divine wants to take Shaz to his limit and become the new World Heavyweight Champion! So...Shaz...Divine is not leaving this ring until you get your ass out here...

Divine stands, waiting to no reponse.

Divine: Divine is waiting....



Mike: That's not Shaz' music! Who is it!?

Rocky: No..it can't be....he can't be in IWA....

A man walks out from the back, to nothing but boos from the fans.

Mike: ARTEMIS ECLIPSE! MY GOD!

Eclipse immediately runs down the ramp, as Divine drops the belt and mic, as Eclipse slides into the ring, and the two are immediately going at it! They are going blow for blow, exchanging shots, as Smokey comes out from the back, onto the ramp, as he motions. Officials from the back come running out, as Smokey and the officials run into the ring, trying to split the two men up.

Mike: It's no use! They can't keep Divine and Eclipse apart. These two men hate each other!

Rocky: Here comes the locker room!

Wrestlers from the back, Smyth, Blue, Layman, Pamich, Adonis, Black Blooded, Damaged Goods, and others, all come running out from the back, right into the ring. They try splitting the two men up and for a moment, they have them to separate sides. Eclipse breaks free though, and jumps through the air, coming down on Divine and the people holding him back. Eclipse just starts wailing off, hitting anyone in sight, as he is pulled back somewhat. Divine breaks free, as he spears Eclipse down, and begins to nail him with shots as well. The two men are finally pulled apart, as wrestlers and officials pull Divine out of the ring to the outside.

Mike: My god! Eclipse is in IWA! This changes everything!

Rocky: Why is he here!? What does that bastard have to do with this company!?

The two men are still trying to break free, but neither are able to.

*The camera cuts backstage where Extremely Lethal, in white lab coats, is not sitting in a laboratory, but on stools. Their backs are to the camera, where they are staring at two whiteboards with equations on them. They then turn toward the camera.*

Venomous: So we didn’t win last week in round one of our experiment to prove our hypothesis. But that is why we are conducting seven rounds of studies, because all we have to do is win four.

Carbon: Pardy Boyz, they got lucky last week, they escaped our grasps, but that is only for one week, we still have up to six weeks left, six rounds of testing we have to perform to prove our hypothesis. They can’t escape the lethal beating we will be giving them during the course of this experiment.

Venomous: See what we have here…

*Venomous and Carbon turn slightly to give the camera a view of the whiteboard, which has various numbers and equations, as well as drawings which seem to be replicating their match with the Pardy Boyz from last week.

Venomous: Is an equation that calculates the exact moment at where we no longer had a chance of winning the match. We calculated this mistake with our human error percentage, and have come out with a strategy of what the Pardy Boyz will do, and if we see that, we know this will signify they are coming close to winning, and won’t make the same mistake twice.

Carbon: We are chemists, but we are also professional wrestlers, and our knowledge allows us to calculate and pinpoint what we need to do, and what we need to fix.

Venomous: But we don’t just only calculate, we mix, and our elements, our in ring style proves that when we mix with the Pardy Boyz, the beating we will give them, won’t let them last seven rounds. We may have lost the first round, but don’t think for a minute the Pardy Boyz came out the same. They’re hurt and they know it and with six more rounds of testing to go, we’re going to last longer, they won’t be able to last all of the testing rounds

Carbon: We may be down zero to one, but we are going to get those IWA Tag Team title shots. We are going to win this series, and we are going to validate our hypothesis. Pardy Boyz we will see you next week for our second round of testing, our second match. You’re not going to last seven rounds, because we are lethal in that ring… Extremely Lethal!

*They turn back towards the whiteboards and put their cameras to the back as they study the whiteboards more. The camera then fades away.*

[Vandarius]

The cameras come back from commercial and we see John Seahawk in the ring with local talent.

Seahawk vs. Jah Burr
(Start 3:00, End 4:28)


Mike: And this one is … Wait, what is he doing?!

Rocky: He isn't finished yet! He likes to play with his food!

Seahawk walks around the ring with a smug grin as Burr rolls around on the mat gasping for air! Seahawk then leans down and grabs Burr's hair, and brings him up to his feet with one hand! Seahawk laughs directly in Burr's face and then kicks him in the gut hard, and then sets him up for a power bomb! Seahawk hoists Burr high into the air, and slams him down to the mat hard, but then Seahawk lifts him up into the same position, and then hits another power bomb ... Seahawk brings him up AGAIN and hits a THIRD power bomb, this time releasing Burr mid-air, dropping him all the way down to the mat hard with a sickening thud!

Mike: Just pin him for Christ’s sake!

Rocky: He's going to make him suffer, Mike! Just shut up!

Seahawk kneels down and spits in the face of Burr, and then he locks in the Kimura lock hard and applies a brutal amount of pressure to the arm, making Burr tap out almost instantly!

Emily Davis: Here is your winner ...

Seahawk slaps the microphone out of the hands of Emily and shoos her away and then he poses in the ring by himself to a chorus of boos from the crowd.

Mike: What an asshole!

Rocky: Hey, he just destroyed that tool! He has the right to do whatever he wants!

As Rocky and Mike bicker, Seahawk exits the ring and then ...

Mr. Smyth!

The fans explode with boos as Mr. Smyth walks out onto the ramp with the IWA Endurance championship on his right shoulder and the TWE IronFist championship around his waist. With his suit smartly pressed and briefcase in hand, Smyth strolls down to the ring with a cocky swagger, his demeanour almost jovial.

Smyth climbs into the ring and raises the IWA Endurance championship high into the air, which is greeted by a barrage of boos. He grabs a mic from the stagehand and begins to speak.

Mr. Smyth: Throughout my working life, I have had to take many decisions that will, at times, be confusing at first. After a while though, those decisions start to make perfect sense and what is important is the end result.

Last week, I’ll admit it; I abused my powers as the special guest referee. To be fair, I probably wouldn’t be doing my job correctly if I didn’t. What would have been confusing for each and every one of you dullards is the fact that I abused my power to help a man who hit me round the head with a chair.

The fans let out an ironic “whey!”

Mr. Smyth: While some of you thoughtless, unintellectual buffoons would have extracted revenge and left it as that, I took a moment to look at the long term ramifications of the number one contenders match for the IWA Endurance championship.

Mr. Smyth raises the title belt, and the fans boo again.

Mr. Smyth: I abused my power to ensure that the match at our next pay-per-view will be one that will stand the test of time. Israel Pamich vs. Mr. Smyth will be a marquee match that many people will pay to see. Israel Pamich is the epitome an amazing competitor who will provide me with the challenge I desire to give you, the viewing public, the five start match that you deserve to see. Israel is just that damn...

Mr. Smyth stops, smiles and shakes his head.

Mr. Smyth: Actually, you and I both know that is complete and utter tripe. I helped Israel Pamich for the simple fact that he is a non threat. He’s been in this business for more than eighteen years – nearly two decades, and has achieved nothing. He talks about his ‘so close’ moments, because that is all he has to hang his hat on.

And that’s all he’ll ever get against me – a ‘so close’ moment. Going one-on-one with me will be as close as he can get to this Endurance title. But why have I chosen the path of least resistance, I hear you cry? There’s a simple answer to that: business. It is best for business that I hold onto this title. IWA need me to be the Endurance champion. Each and every one of you deserve me as your Endurance champion.

The fans explode with boos as Smyth smiles.

Mr. Smyth: What you don’t understand is that this company needs to protect it’s assets and there is one asset that cannot be sacrificed in any way, shape or form: me. People think that if we just form the right team, we’ll all get along and be able to pull the boat together. Well this is not a team, it’s not a boat, it’s not a machine that has a lot of parts that have to work together. The metaphors are all crap. This is a business, that’s all it is and me not being the IWA Endurance champion is bad for business.

I’m sure Blue and Layman will one day be up to the standard that I set and may become challengers for this title, but until such a time arrives, I will be carrying this company squarely on my shoulders.

But don’t think that I have forgotten about tonight. I have a challenger who covets my property and while he is planning a hostile takeover, I can guarantee that he will come up short. Jackson Smith has been riding the coat-tails of that briefcase for far too long now and I will make good of that promise I made a few weeks ago – when he cashes in that briefcase on me, I will shove that contract down his throat and make him choke on it.

But I don’t want any of you to fret. I assure that that this title, and the responsibility it holds will always be in great hands when it is under my stewardship. Leading the way is-

[Vandarius]

Israel Pamich

Suddenly, Israel's music cuts Smyth off, as Pamich walks out from the back, with a smug look on his face. He proceeds down the ramp, ignoring all of the fans signs, and anything they are saying, as he makes his way into the ring.

Rocky: Now look at that man. That is a man we can be proud is #1 contender.

Mike: Proud!? You've got to be kidding me! Smyth gave the win to Pamich. Pamich isn't the rightful #1 contender.

Rocky: Oh shut your trap. Israel Pamich vs Mr Smyth will be the show stealer at Last Resort.

Pamich is in the ring, as he looks at Smyth for a moment before grabbing a mic. He turns, as his music fades. He slowly raises the mic, as the smug smile on his face just grows.

Pamich: I



Mike: Oh man! Here comes the boss!

Smokey walks out from the back, walking with determination, as he heads down the ramp. The smug look has left Pamich's face, as he stands there glaring at Smokey. Smyth is standing in the corner with the Endurance Championship, just watching. Smokey climbs into the ring, as he is handed a microphone. The music fades.

Smokey: I have had it up to here with you.

Smokey turns, pointing to Smyth.

Smokey: First, you think your mr big shot by booking your own matches during your little tiff with Kyojin, and despite getting a slap on the wrist, I put you into a position that gave you two choices. Prove you are truly an honorable businessman, or you are a greedy businessman. We all saw what kind of businessman you truly are, didn't we?

The fans are chanting Smyth is greedy, while clapping.

Smokey: See, your job as special ref, was to act in the guidelines of a referee. Now, I know, and the IWA Faithful who watched know, what you did. For the benefit of those who didn't see, let's take a look.

Smokey turns, as the Insane-O-Tron comes to life. We see footage of last week where Smyth attack the participants of triple threat #1 contenders match, and then we see Smyth use the knocked out Pamich to cover both Sagittarius Blue and Oscar Layman. The camera fades as Smyth counts the three. The camera view turns back to Smokey, Israel, and Mr Smyth.

Smokey: The proof is in the video Smyth. So, as it stands right now, that match, is null and void!

The fans cheer, as Pamich is extremely pissed, almost getting into Smokeys face.

Smokey: Wo wo wo, hold on there. Don't get your panties in a bunch, I'll get to you in a second. Now, Smyth, there needs to be a #1 contender, and it won't be Israel Pamich. Tonight, we are going to see Sagittarius Blue go one on one with Oscar Laymen, and the winner of that match, will go on to face you at Last Resort. This time, it will be a normal referee in the match, not you.

Smokey grins, as he turns to Israel.

Smokey: Now, I'm sure you'd like to play the victim, and normally I'd think you were up to something fishy with Mr Smyth, but, I'm feeling generous, so i'm giving you the benefit of the doubt. While you are no longer the #1 contender for the Endurance Championship, and you won't be in the #1 contenders match tonight, you will still have a shot at gold. So tonight, Israel, you are going to have a one on one match, and that match, will be a Blackout qualifier. So, if you win, you will go on to Last Resort for a shot at the newest championship. Best of luck Israel...oh..and if Smyth tries any funny business in your match, you will be suspended indefinitely. Hopefully that deters any monkey business.

Smokey grins, as he drops the mic. He turns, climbing out of the ring, and heads up the ramp, not looking back

Mike: Wow! Huge news! Sagittarius Blue vs Oscar Laymen in a #1 contendership Endurance match, and Pamich is in a qualifying match for the Blackout Championship.

Rocky: This isn't right! I want to report a felony. Smokey just robbed Pamich of his #1 contender right.

Mike: Right? It wasn't a right. It was an ill gotten gift from Smyth. Pamich has a chance of becoming a rightful contender tonight. So hold onto your ass and wait and see.

Ding ding ding!

Emily Davis: The following match is set for one fall and is a number one contendership match for the Endurance Championship! Introducing first, from The Isle of Samoa ... Oscar Lay-maga!!



Lay-maga makes his way out to the ramp with his thumb taped up for the Samoan Spike! Lay-maga rushes down to the ring and slides into the middle and poses for the fans, waiting for this opponent.

Emily Davis: And his opponent, from Athens, Georgia ...Sagittarius Blue!



The crowd goes insane when The Classic City Saint jumps out onto the stage and poses for the fans for a bit. Blue then charges down the ramp, slapping some hands along the way and then jumps into the ring.

Lay-maga vs. Blue (Hardy)
(Start 2:35, End 7:15)


Both men are down on the mat as the referee reaches a five count, but Lay-maga starts to get to his feet slowly, shaking his head trying to get rid of the side effects from the impact. Blue manages to pull himself up at the same time and both men stare each other down. Blue then hits Lay-maga with a hard right hand, but Lay-maga sends one back in return, making Blue stumble all the way back into the ropes. Blue uses the momentum from the ropes and propels himself into Lay-maga, knocking him down to the mat! Blue rolls to the turnbuckle and pulls himself back to his feet and starts to clap his hands slowly, getting the fans fired up as he stalks the downed Lay-maga.

Mike: The fans love Mr. Blue with all of their hearts, he has them wrapped around his finger!

Rocky: Yeah, well that is what happens when you kiss ass.

Blue starts bouncing in place as Lay-maga gets to his feet, and then Blue charges Lay-maga and goes for the Shining Wizard, but Lay-maga catches Blue and plants him with a massive spinebuster from out of no where! Both men are down on the mat once more, but then Mr. Smyth comes running down the ramp with a steel chair in hand!! Smyth slides into the ring and shoves the referee out of the way and then starts to slam the chair down onto Lay-maga and Blue!! The referee calls for the bell and then tries to pull the chair away from Smyth, but Smyth rolls out of the ring with a smug grin on his face. The referee makes his way to Emily Davis and tells her his decision.

Emily Davis: Ladies and gentlemen ... Both men have been disqualified, so this match has ended in a no contest!

The crowd explodes with boos and chant "You Suck!" at Mr. Smyth as he slowly walks up the ramp as we go to commercial.

[Vandarius]

Mike: Welcome back to IWA Chaos! We're ready for our next match up, a Blackout Championship qualifier match in which we'll see Malcolm Adonis take on Israel Pamich.

Rocky: Those with better memories among our fans will remember the last time these men were in the same ring was when Shining Light interfered and gave Pamich the win in an over the top challenge match.

Mike: Adonis does hold a previous victory over Pamich though it came really as default when Pamich refused to relinquish a submission move after he himself had forced Adonis to tap.

Rocky: I'm putting my money on Pamich gaining the win here tonight, I still don't think Adonis is completely over his battle with Shining just yet.

Israel Pamich

Mike: Pamich is first out, and after what happened earlier he has got to be angry. He arrives here believing he's the number one contender to the Endurance Title, and he may well leave with nothing!

Rocky: Shocking decision by Smokey, it wasn't Pamich's fault that Mr. Smyth got involved, the decision should stand!

Mike: Well he's got a chance to progress and become the first ever Blackout Champion, but he needs to defeat his opponent Malcolm Adonis tonight.

Malcolm Adonis

Mike: But it will be no easy task for Israel as Malcolm Adonis is coming off a huge win against Shining Light at Destined For Immortality!

Rocky: And a big party last week! Did you see how many girls were there? It makes me sick.. he didn't even give ME an invite!

Mike: Maybe because you'd cramp his style Rocky? besides, I'm pretty sure he and The Godfather had everything under control without your lecherous advances on a few girls.

Rocky: Bah! Those girls would have loved to get down with me, Malcolm was just scared he might not get a look in!

The two men face off in the ring and back away to their respective corners as the referee begins the match.

(Pamich/Barrett vs Adonis/Otunga)



(stop at 4:03)

After Pamich kicks out Adonis heads up to the middle rope, waiting for his opponent to stand up before delivering a thunderous double axe handled to the back! Pamich is dropped to one knee and Adonis backs away onto the ropes before rebounding back with a big knee to the face! He covers!

One!

Two!!

Kick-out!

Adonis stands up and stomps on Pamich, Pamich rolls onto his stomach and Adonis locks in a Camel Clutch! Pamich yells in pain as the referee asks but goes a no for an answer. Pamich struggles to get free but Adonis releases the hold before backing away. Pamich uses the ropes to climb to his feet and Adonis charges in looking for a clothesline but Pamich pulls the top rope down and Adonis falls from the ring to the floor hard!

Mike: Smart from Pamich! Very smart!

Rocky: He needs to capitalize quickly and get this one wrapped up!

Pamich uses the time to recover and Adonis slides back into the ring a little groggy. Pamich kicks Adonis as he tries to get to his feet and then backs him into a turnbuckle before delivering kick after kick to the midsection and Adonis slumps into the corner! Pamich backs away and Adonis pulls himself up, Pamich hooks the arm and delivers a snap suplex! Pamich then stalks his opponent, waiting for him to get up before delivering an Inverted DDT! He covers!

One!

Two!

Kick-out!

Adonis gets the shoulder up and Pamich complains about a slow count before mounting Adonis and pummeling him in the face repeatedly!

Mike: Not the face! He needs that to love!

Rocky: Not many ladies are gonna want Adonis near them with a disfigured face..

Adonis covers up and the referee starts a count, Pamich backs off and calls for his finisher, A Little Integrity. Adonis slowly gets to his feet and Pamich moves in to deliver his vicious European uppercut but Adonis blocks it! He catches Pamich's arm and the crowd cheer before he hoists Pamich up and slams him down with a huge Spinebuster! Adonis walks around Pamich before flexing his right bicep and kissing it. He sways his arms across and then runs the ropes, he rebounds and jumps over Pamich before bouncing off the opposite ropes and delivering the Adonis Elbow!

Mike: He covers! This one's over!

One!

Two!!

Three!!!

Emily Davis: Here is your winner, The Sexual Sensation, Malcolm Adonis!

Mike: Adonis progresses! And Pamich goes home with nothing after arriving as the Endurance Title challenger!

Rocky: He's gonna be mad in the morning.. first he was robbed by Smokey, and then Adonis manages to beat him too!

Adonis climbs up to the middle rope and gyrates for his female fans in victory as Pamich rolls from the ring and makes his way to the back. Malcolm beams widely before asking for a microphone and stepping down and back into the ring.

Adonis: Malcolm thinks that little score is settled now.. we knew who the better man was before the bell rang, but now we got it in writin'! All this week Malcolm's been at the longest ass party he's ever had the pleasure to see.. and there's been a hell of a lotta pleasure.. if you know what Malcolm means! Ahaaa! Malcolm's been dancin'.. Malcolm's been drinkin'.. Malcolm's been lovin' and the only thing he ain't been doin' is sleepin'! So Malcolm wasn't sure he was gonna make it to the arena tonight when he got a phone call from Smokey tellin' him that he was being put forward into a qualification match for the new Blackout Championship!

The fans cheer and Malcolm nods along as an 'A-Don-Is!' chant breaks out.

Adonis: So with a shot at some gold on the line Malcolm knew.. Malcolm knew he had to disappoint a few ladies and say his goodbyes pretty damn quick. And believe me ladies, there ain't nothin' quick about Malcolm's goodbyes..now I know you feelin' me!

Adonis laughs to himself before he continues.

Adonis: So Malcolm hops in his car.. he arrives at the arena and he finds out his opponent. He heads to the back.. he gets ready.. takes a few Advil to kill his hangover.. takes a few more when that bitch don't quit.. then drags his tired ass out here to give Israel Pamich the ass whoopin' he's deserved ever since Shinin' Light introduced himself to Malcolm!

A 'Pamich Sucks' chant breaks out around the arena as Malcolm stands tall.

Adonis: And with that punk ass outta the runnin' that means Malcolm is goin' to Last Resort to capture his first ever championship belt right here in IWA!

The fans cheer, a few wolf whistles come from the ladies in attendance.

Adonis: Now Malcolm ain't gonna discount his opponents so quickly.. Malcolm is sure it won't be an easy fight. He's damn sure he's gonna have to bring the sorta fight that helped him beat the devil himself Shinin' Light! But Malcolm wants every other brother in that fight for the Blackout gold to know one thing and that is Malcolm is ready to add a new accessory to hang above the crown jewels baby!

Adonis grins as he gets a few more wolf whistles from the crowd.

Adonis: An' when Malcolm walks outta Last Resort as the sexiest damn champion this entire world has ever seen, he's wants all of you ladieshere tonight to know that he dedicates the fight to you! And fellas.. when Malcolm gyrates and flaunts that piece of gold after the final bell.. he wants you all to know that you can send him your thanks on twitter for the inspiration that he gave your lady friends! You feelin' me boys!?

Adonis begins to gyrate again before throwing the mic to the outside, the fans cheer as he leaves the ring and walks to the back.

[Vandarius]

Mike: And welcome back, folks! Before the commercial break, we saw Malcolm Adonis pick up the win over Israel Pamich, and now ...

Chris Diamond cuts Mike off.

Chris Diamond's music hits and the crowd begin to boo the self proclaimed Prodigy of IWA, who simply smirks and lets the heat rain down on him, as he poses on the ramp, and fireworks erupt behind him. He struts on down to the ring, still oblivious to the boos and jeers the crowd are throwing at him. He gets in the ring and poses on the ropes, and climbs down to grab a mic.

Diamond: Last week, I made perhaps the most dominant and most influential debut in IWA history, when I told all of you jackasses that I could beat whoever stepped in the ring with Chris Diamond in under 7 minutes. What happened? I did what I said I could do, and I did it in style. It took me less than TWO minutes to defeat that good fro nothing son-bitch who stepped in the ring with me last week! But you people still don't think I got what it takes, do ya?

The loud jeers and boos give Diamond his answer

Diamond: Well, see the problem with that is....I don't give a crap what you people think or say about me, because your opinion is as worthless as old Mike on the commentary booth over there. It don't mean jack shit in the real world of Wrestling! Last week, every single one of you saw how dominant I can be, and that there is a reason they call me 'Prodigy' and 'The Next Big Thing', it's cause I am. It's cause I have more talent in my left testicle than each and every single one of you has put together!

The crowd boo yet again, but Diamond just laughs.

Diamond: Tonight, I face. Excuse me one second....

He climbs out of the ring, and grabs the play by play sheet of Mike and looks for his match. He gets it, and climbs back in the ring

Diamond: Sorry, I just forgot who the hell I'm facing tonight, cause I have never ever heard of this guy in my life. Damien Feddings!.....Excuse me?...Oh......Sorry, my mistake, Damien EDDINGS. I always get mixed up in these jobbers, my bad. Anyways, tonight, I face Damien, and again, I promise you people here tonight I will beat him in under 7 Minutes, and I won't break a sweat doing it. Let's get this straight...Eddings will face the same fate the little Biebster faced last week wehn he went 1 on 1 with the quickest in the business. On the note of how quick I am, a little factoid about your Prodigy. I'm so quick, that I could spit into a gale force wind, duck in time so that it hits the old lady behind me! Hahaha!

The crowd boo at Diamond and chant YOU SUCK!

Diamond: Boo all you want, jeer all you want, hurl abuse at me all you want. But know this....I won't be stopped, I CANT be stopped. And I make force you people to respect me, whether ya love or ya hate me. Because I know, you know, EVERYBODY knows that Chris Diamond is the Prodigy, and Chris Diamond will be the best one day!

Diamond throws the microphone to the side and waits for his opponent, Damian Eddings

Damian Eddings

Eddings wastes no time and charges out from the back and storms down the ramp. Eddings then slides into the ring and gets into Diamonds face and the two men trash talk each other until the referee separates them and calls for the bell.

Chris Diamond(Orton) vs Damian Eddings(Rhodes)
(start at 1:26, end at 3:15)


Mike: We are almost to the 2 minute mark! Diamond has roughly 5 minutes left to put Eddings away!

Rocky: He won't need 5 minutes. You watch.

Diamond nails Eddings with another stiff shot, as Eddings stumbles away. Eddings charges back, only to be nailed by another stiff shot. Eddings charges back once more, and catches Diamond with a stiff right. Diamond stumbles back, as Damian charges in, trying to leap frog over Chris, but Diamond pushes Eddings into the air, and Eddings lands, face first hitting the ring post. He falls back, landing on his feet, stumbling, as he turns right into...

Rocky: DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH!

Diamond drops Eddings with the jumping cutter, as he goes for the cover.

1.....2.....!

Diamond breaks the pin fall on his own, as the clock is now at the 3:13 mark. Diamond gets to his feet, smiling, as he lifts Eddings to a standing position. Diamond pushes Eddings into the ropes, as Eddings bounces back, right into another..

Mike: Diamond in the rough! Adding insult to the damage he has done already!

Rocky: He is sending a statement, that he is better than anyone on this roster.

Mike: Yeah...lets see him face someone like Jman or KJ Punk.

Diamond rolls Eddings over, and goes for the cover once more.

1.....2....3!

Emily Davis: The winner of this match, at 3:53, Chris Diamond!

Mike: Diamond dominated that entire match.

Rocky: I told you so! I told you so!

Mike: Shut up. Alright folks, after this commercial break, we will see Mr. Smyth defend his Endurance championship against Jackson Smith!

[Vandarius]

Mike: Welcome back to CHAOS!

Rocky: If you're just joining us, you're about to see the IWA Endurance champion defend his championship against Jackson Smith!

Emily Davis: The following match is for the Endurance championship! Introducing first, weighing in at 255 lbs ... Jackson Smith!

Jackson Smith
The crowd pops loudly for Smith as his music hits, and they get even louder when he makes his way onto the ramp. Smith walks down the ramp, interacting with some of the fans on the way down and then slides into the ring and gets himself pumped for the match.

Emily Davis: And his opponent ... The current IWA Endurance champion ... Mr. Smyth!

IWA Endurance Champion Mr. Smyth

The crowd erupts with boos and "You suck!" chants as Smyth makes his way onto the ramp with the same smug look on his face from earlier in the night. Smyth slowly makes his way down the ramp, taking his sweet time getting to the ring. Smyth then gets into the ring and hands the referee the championship. The referee displays the championship and then calls for the bell!

Endurance Championship
Mr Smyth(c)(Jericho) vs Jackson Smith(Batista)-ignore big show backstage
(start at 1:28, end at 7:48)


Mike: Nasty powerbomb! Can Jackson capitalize!?


Jackson crawls, rolling Smyth over, and goes for the cover, hooking the leg.

1....2...!


Rocky: Yes! Yes! Mr Smyth is keeping this match, and his title reign alive!


Jackson looks at the ref for a moment, but then gets to his feet. He reaches down lifting Smyth to a standing position. Jackson shoves Smyth into the corner, as he charges in, and nails Smyth in the corner with a running shoulder. Jackson has a hold of the middle ropes, as he repeatedly drives his shoulder into the mid section of Smyth. Jackson stops, lifting Mr Smyth to a seated position on the top of the turnbuckle. Jackson grabs the throat of Smyth, and proceeds to lift him into the air with a guerrilla press. Jackson walks out, holding Mr Smyth in the air.

Mike: What a feat of strength. Wow!

Rocky: Nothing impressive. Nothing impressive at all.


Jackson drops Smyth, and powerslams Smyth into the mat. Jackson goes for the cover.

1....2....!

Mr Smyth kicks out, to boos from the fans. Jackson, now in disbelief, gets to his feet. He signals for the end, as the fans are going insane. Jackson lifts Smyth to a standing position, and kicks him in the gut extremely hard. Jackson lifts Mr Smyth into the air, having him on his shoulder. Mr Smyth drops from behind, countering the move. Smyth immediately turns, nailing a huge chop block to the back of Jackson's knee. Jackson drops to one knee, as Smyth is on his feet, and he charges into the ropes. Smyth bounces off them, coming back at Jackson, and drops him with a running ddt! Smyth immediately rolls Jackson over, going for the cover.

1.....2...!


Jackson kicks out, as Smyth doesn't seem phased. He gets to his feet, as Jackson slowly gets to his feet. Smyth goes for a big right, but Jackson blocks, and counters with a right of his own. Jackson goes for another right, but Smyth blocks, and nails Jackson with a right instead. The two begin to go blow for blow.


Jackson
Smyth
Jackson
Smyth
Jackson
Smyth
Jackson
Smyth
Smyth
Smyth


Mr Smyth has the upperhand, as he irish whips Jackson into the ropes. Jackson bounces back, as Smyth goes for a clothesline, but Jackson ducks it, and hits the other ropes. He bounces back...

Mike: GORE! GORE!


Jackson takes Smyth completely down with the gore, and is back up, as the fans are going crazy. Jackson is signaling for the end, as he reaches down for Smyth.


Rocky: The lights are out! Who turned the lights out!?

Mike: Oh no! Not now..not when Jackson is about to win.


The lights in the arena have gone out, as the fans are going crazy. The lights come back on, as we see a figure standing behind Jackson Smith.


Mike: It's....it's...it's.....!!!!!!

Rocky: ANO DOOM!


Doom spins Jackson, as he lifts him up, and plants him with a tombstone piledriver! The ref is immediately calling for the bell, as Smyth rolls out of the ring.


Emily Davis: The winner of this match as a result of a disqualification, Jackson Smith!

Mike: Jackson Smith wins, but Mr Smyth still retains!


Doom reaches down, lifting Jackson up by his throat. He lifts him into the air once more...


Rocky: Cold Blooded Murder!


Doom drops Jackson with the shellshock, as Ano slowly gets to his feet, standing over Jackson. Smyth now has the Endurance title on his shoulder, as he is on the outside, looking in as we go to commercial.

[Vandarius]

The Infection

Emily Davis: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is a tag team match. Introducing first, at a combined weight of 466 lbs representing The Infection, Carlos Alberto Ramon, and Van Hooligan X!

Mike: Some tag team action now where we'll see these two men take on the team of the Hollywood Homeboys who are already in the ring waiting.

Rocky: Gonna be honest Mike, I can only see one team winning here and that's The Infection, the Homeboys don't stand a chance.

Mike: I wouldn't count them out just yet Rocky, I'm sure our fans would prefer to see a good, even contest!

Rocky: What the fans want and what they get ain't my problem Mike, this one's gonna be over quickly. The Hollywood Homeboys and Infection face off in the ring, ready to fight. Carlos and Whiz will get us started.


(CAR+Van/E+C vs NAO/HH)
(Start 3:30)


Van cranks up the pressure on Iceman before reaching over and getting the tag from CAR. He maintains the hold as Ramon runs the ropes before burying a boot right into Icemans face. Whiz enters the ring and attacks Van from behind and the two brawl to the outside as Ramon drags Iceman to his feet. Iceman catches Ramon by surprise and begins throwing lefts and rights before backing Ramon to the ropes and whipping him across. Iceman looks for a standing dropkick but Ramon swats it aside and drops and elbow on him quickly. Iceman gets to his feet and Ramon kicks him in the gut before pushing him into a turnbuckle. He climbs to the second rope and begins pounding away on the skull of Iceman with the crowd counting along..One.. Two.. Three.. Four.. Five.. Six.. Seven.. Eight.. Nine.. Ten!

Ramon jumps down and Iceman staggers out of the corner and falls to the floor. On the outside Van throws Whiz into the steel ring post before dragging him to his feet and ramming him hard against the barricade. The two partners look to be taking pleasure from the torture they put the Homeboys through and Van rolls Whiz into the ring.


Mike: What are these two planning now?


Both men look at each other, Van grabs Whiz by the legs and Ramon does the same to Iceman. In unison the pair apply submission holds to their opponents, Van with the Vantastic Clutch on Whiz and Ramon with the Latino Leg Lock on Iceman! Within seconds both men are tapping out in the middle of the ring and the referee has no choice but to call for the bell!


Emily: Here are your winners, Carlos Alberto Ramon, and Van Hooligan X!

Mike: What a brutal way to end the match! Technically Carlos gets the win as he was the legal man but that was a big message sent tonight!

Rocky: The Infection have failed to gain the tag team titles thus far in IWA, but if that finish is anything to go by I think Damaged Goods days could be numbered!

As the men exit the ring ...

Vivica

*Vivica struts out, swaying her hips in time with the music as she holds her title high to a chorus of boos from the crowd. She doesn't seem to hear however, nor does she notice the few scattered signs held aloft in the arena bearing phrases like "Let me be your Daddy!" and "I want a Playdate with Vivica" on them.

She starts to skip as she gets to the ring, throwing her belt over one shoulder as she skips around the ring to the scared timekeeper, who is already holding a microphone out, expecting the worst. Vivica giggles, taking the microphone and giving the startled man a kiss on the cheek, which knocks him down as surely as if she had hit him. Giggling once more, she rolls into the ring, in apparant high spirits*

Vivica: That's right! The Good Girl is still the Champion!

*The crowd boos as Vivica once more holds the battered and bloody Vanity championship aloft.*

Vivica: Little Jumpy Juno thought she could take it from me, but I showed her that no whore ever has a chance of winning against a good girl like me, especially with a Daddy like mine who loves me and holds me and kisses me and beats me and...

*Vivica's voice trails off as she lowers the microphone, a soft, dreamy look in her eyes. The crowd starts to chant "Crazy Bitch", the chant seeming to break her out of it, instantly turning her earlier softness into a harsh rage, she looks around, as though seeking out each chanting individual, her eyes the focused gleam of a predator about to strike as she angrily paces the ring*

Vivica: I'M NOT FUCKING CRAZY!!!!!! SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP!!!!! DADDY SAID SO I'M NOT CRAZY SO YOU ALL BETTER STOP BEFORE I TELL HIM!!!! I HATE YOU ALL SOO MUCH!!!

*Vivica takes a deep breath, instantly swallowing her rage, a little-girl smile peeking out of her face as she skips around once more*

Vivica: I sure showed little JJ I wasn't crazy huh? but then she had to go and cry and beg and whatever else whores do when they are already down there and now she gets another chance? I tried to tell Smokey that Daddy said she wasn't ready yet, that I hadn't hurt her enough, hadn't loved her enough, to make her a Good Girl, but Smokey said that the fans want to see it so it's all your fault!

*Standing up straight, Vivica looks around, almost looking calm and sane, as she continues*

Vivica: It wasn't right, you know. I don't know why you are all so mean, lying to her and telling her she can beat me. I mean, she is a whore, and just like all those other whores she isn't good enough to beat me, see I am a Good Girl, that's why I know that you all lie, cause Daddy said to trust nobody but him and Unca Blood, cause everyone else is full of lies and hatred and just wants to hurt me.

Juno just isn't ready, and I really wish you all would be nicer to her and not fill her with so much false confidence.

*The crowd boos even more, chanting "Crazy Bitch" again, seeming to enrage Vivica once more*

Vivica: Daddy was right! There is just no talking to you people!!! SHUT UP!!!! I HATE YOU ALL!!!!

*Vivica inhales sharply, but whatever she says next is completely drowned out as Pieces Pink's Music hits, and the crowd goes insane with anticipation of seeing one of their favorites shut the crazy bitch up!*

*Pisces Pink steps out onto the ramp, waving excitedly to the fans (still as starstruck as ever) as she jogs down the ramp. She passes by a fan who has a sign that says "Bigger is Better" in pink and white - and she kisses the guy on his forehead (the guy will never wash his face again!) Pink continues merrily on until she gets to the ring... then her demeanor changes. The glee, the cheer, the bubbliness is gone... and in its place, a glare as unforgiving as granite. Pisces' eyes never leave Vivica as she steps into the ring after taking a mic from a stage hand...

Pisces Pink: Vivica... you a crazy bitch.

*Vivica stares daggers at Pisces Pink, her lips curling up into a menacing snarl...*

Pisces Pink: I'm no good at all the pretty speeches or the - whaddayacallits? Shoot promos? Pipe bombs? - so I'm just gonna say it as it is. You. Are. Fucking. Batshit. BONKERS.

*The crowd pops in cheers and laughter as Vivica starts to have a moment - "Batshit Bonkers" being chanted over and over across the arena. Vivica screams "SHUT UP!" and raises her fist at Pisces...*

Pisces Pink: Know your fucking place, you little cunt. Raise that hand to me if you want to - I ain't scared to catch a murder charge.

*Vivica looks into Pisces Pink's eyes... and realizes that she's not playing. At all.*

Pisces Pink: So I see you running around, toting that Vanity title, and talking about how your Daddy and Unca love you so much. I bet they don't love you enough to use lube when they buddy-bang you. Do they? But you know what - you know what I really hate? You call all of us whores. ALL OF US. *deadly silence* It's bad enough you say that about Juno Mercury - who, you wouldn't understand, is one hell of a woman... matter of fact, I don't think you can understand anything outside of "chocolate milk" and "crayon"... But here's where you fucked up... *leans closer and looks into Vivica's eyes* YOU CALLED ME A WHORE TOO.

*A spectator in the front row yells out "UH-OOOHHHHH!" sounding like Alex Silva, and the crowd chants "Pink is gonna kill you..." *

Pisces Pink: Boo-boo, you may be nuttier than a box of Almond Joys, but you can't be that stupid. That's more dangerous than poking an angry lion in the eye. In case you need reminding, I'M FUCKING PISCES PINK. THE PRINCESS OF POWER. I can flip a car with my damn bare hands and not break a sweat. But apparently, you don't know that. You don't know how dangerous Pisces is. Just like you don't know how badly I've been aching to get on this show and bust heads. Or how badly... *looks at Vivica's title belt* I've been wanting a shot at the Vanity Championship. Because everybody knows... YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE THE VANITY CHAMPION. You don't deserve to represent the women of this company. NOT ONE. FUCKING. BIT.

[Vandarius]

*Vivica takes a step back, looking around, her eyes uncertain until she sees the Vanity title still over her shoulder. Locking her eyes on Pisces, she grins widely as she raises the belt high with one hand, the other bringing the microphone to her lips.*

Vivica: Crazy like a Princess. I get it now, all of you run around on the floor down there with your little dreams and your little lives and your little hopes, and I am up in my tower with my Daddy and all the beautiful things and I get to be Princess and deep down you all just are soo sad because you can't be a Princess too, but this is my Twisted Kingdom and this title is my crown. I am Daddy's special girl and the bestest girl ever and all of you are nothing but whores.

*Pisces looks about ready to throw a punch, but Vivica's eyes change, her expression going from her usual little-girl smile to one of sheer bloodthirst, her eyes gleaming with an unholy rage.*

Vivica: Nothing but Whores. Whores who want what I already have, what I worked so hard for. none of you understand, because none of you can see yourselves the way I see you because Daddy taught me because my Daddy loves me.

*Vivica looks up, a wistful expression on his face*

Vivica: Daddy told me, soon we are gonna run everything both here and over at that smelly old JBW. Unca Blood says you gotta take everything you can and Daddy says with me there is nothing we can't do. Soon everyone will know what a real Good Girl is! Soon little girls everywhere will know how to behave again and then it will all be better. Daddy says you gotta get people to see, to understand, or else there ain't no point in them even being alive. But that's ok, cause we're gonna make everyone see!

*Vivica comes back to the present, her eyes once more on Pisces, her expression seeming almost maternal as she considers the larger woman*

Vivica: But first, what are we gonna do with you? You just can't give up, can you? Just don't know when you're done? I mean, you lost the first chance to get my belt, then you let little Jumpy Juno jump all over you and take the spot you kept saying was yours. Unca Blood says that a girl like you is just too used to being on her back to win a match.... is that it? Do you spend so much time with that wierdo blue guy that you forgot how to get back up? It's ok, that's why I'm here. I'm gonna show all of you what a Good Girl is, then I'm gonna show every girl around the world how to be a Good Girl just like me!

*Vivica takes a step back, looking around, her eyes uncertain until she sees the Vanity title still over her shoulder. Locking her eyes on Pisces, she grins widely as she raises the belt high with one hand, the other bringing the microphone to her lips.*

Vivica: Crazy like a Princess. I get it now, all of you run around on the floor down there with your little dreams and your little lives and your little hopes, and I am up in my tower with my Daddy and all the beautiful things and I get to be Princess and deep down you all just are soo sad because you can't be a Princess too, but this is my Twisted Kingdom and this title is my crown. I am Daddy's special girl and the bestest girl ever and all of you are nothing but whores.

*Pisces looks about ready to throw a punch, but Vivica's eyes change, her expression going from her usual little-girl smile to one of sheer bloodthirst, her eyes gleaming with an unholy rage.*

Vivica: Nothing but Whores. Whores who want what I already have, what I worked so hard for. none of you understand, because none of you can see yourselves the way I see you because Daddy taught me because my Daddy loves me.

*Vivica looks up, a wistful expression on his face*

Vivica: Daddy told me, soon we are gonna run everything both here and over at that smelly old JBW. Unca Blood says you gotta take everything you can and Daddy says with me there is nothing we can't do. Soon everyone will know what a real Good Girl is! Soon little girls everywhere will know how to behave again and then it will all be better. Daddy says you gotta get people to see, to understand, or else there ain't no point in them even being alive. But that's ok, cause we're gonna make everyone see!

*Vivica comes back to the present, her eyes once more on Pisces, her expression seeming almost maternal as she considers the larger woman*

Vivica: But first, what are we gonna do with you? You just can't give up, can you? Just don't know when you're done? I mean, you lost the first chance to get my belt, then you let little Jumpy Juno jump all over you and take the spot you kept saying was yours. Unca Blood says that a girl like you is just too used to being on her back to win a match.... is that it? Do you spend so much time with that wierdo blue guy that you forgot how to get back up? It's ok, that's why I'm here. I'm gonna show all of you what a Good Girl is, then I'm gonna show every girl around the world how to be a Good Girl just like me!

Pisces Pink (Kong) vs. Vivica (Bolt)
(Start 3:30, End 6:20)


Mike: Pink just hit the mat hard!! That had to of knocked the wind right out of her!

Rocky: Well she doesn't belong on the top rope; maybe she will learn her damn lesson!!

Vivica sees Pink down on the mat slowly getting to her knees, so Vivica charges Pink, screaming at the top of her lungs and hits Pink in the side of the head with a low dropkick! Vivica then slides back to her feet and licks her teeth slowly, stalking Pink like a lioness hunting a wounded gazelle! Pink slowly gets back up to one knee, and Vivica kicks her in the chest hard! Vivica then charges the ropes and bounces off of them, then goes to hit Pink with a hard knee, but then Pink jumps up quick and nails Vivica with a huge Harpoon!!

Mike: WOAH!! Where did that come from!?

Rocky: Instinct maybe?! Come on, Vivica!

Both women are down, but Pink seems to be out of it more than Vivica, still feeling the effects from hitting the mat earlier on in the match! Both women start getting back up, but Vivica manages to pull herself up with the ropes while Pink gets back up to one knee. Vivica sees Pink down still, and then slow starts to pace around Pink slowly, waiting to strike like a coiled snake. Pink manages to get back up to both feet, and then Vivica goes for a roundhouse kick, but Pink catches Vivica’s leg! Vivica tries to back away but Pink holds her in place and slowly shakes her head left to right.

Mike: Uh oh. This won’t be good.

Rocky: RUN VIVICA, RUN!

Vivica swats at Pink’s head, but Pink dodges the shot! Vivica then tries to hit an enziguri, but Pink catches her other leg midair and slams Vivica down to the mat hard! Pink shakes her head a bit, getting herself fired up, and then she leans down and picks Vivica up to her feet. Pink kicks Vivica in the stomach hard, and then hoists her up onto her shoulders! Pink marches around while Vivica thrashes around on Pink’s shoulders, but then Pink plants Vivica with the HBIC in the middle of the ring!! Pink goes for the cover!!

One! Two! Three!

Emily Davis: Here is your winner … Pisces Pink!!

COMMERCIAL BREAK!

[Vandarius]

We're back from commercial, and the insane-o-tron comes to life, as we see video footage. We see a church, as the camera's view moves closer, going inside of the church. The inside is beautiful, as the camera view changes to the front, where we see a young man, sitting in a pew. He has his arms laying on the pew infront of him, and his head, resting on his arms. We see he is wearing a pair of black baggy shorts, and a black tank top. His arms, back, and chest are covered in tattoos. We see scripture, we see crosses, thorns, we see a crown, we see an X, and all kinds of other tattoos. His long black hair is covering his face, as he begins to talk.

???: I'd come here, as a child. I'd sit here with him, and have to listen, as the pastor stood before this church, preaching about God's love, God's acceptance. How God will always forgive those who stumbled away. The older I got, the farther I fell from this path, but still, I had to sit here and listen, and know what that man spoke, that man of God, was nothing but lies. That feeling of my fathers hand around my neck, around my leg, around my wrist, as I would drift off. That sharp reminder to pay attention, or pay the consequences when I got home.

The man now stands up, his hair still covering his face. He goes to the pulpit, standing before it, as he continues.

????: And oh what a consequence it would be! He would sit there, drinking, drinking his life away. He would let his vice, his one weakness in life, take control of him. He was a slave, and the drink was his master. He would get so lost, that he would lose control. He would hit me, he would strike me. He would yell at me, telling me I'm worthless, telling me I would never amount to anything...that never loved me. Oh, what a fathers love! Here I was, suppose to buy into the fact that this was God's plan, that God was putting me through this, to make me a stronger man. That God would be my father, since my father was not a true father.

The man turns, looking at an image of Christ hanging on the cross.

????: But they were all lies! Lies! I have no father! These tattoos, they are a reminder, a reminder of the pain, of the humiliation, of all the turmoil I went through. I became the man I am today, because of what I did! I sat there, and took it, as he smacked me, as he put a gun to my head, telling me this world was cruel and i would be better off without it. I sat there, as he went to jail, I sat there, knowing that the man who took part in the help of my birth, would never be there for me. So I've learned, I've learned to not rely on faith, or to rely on family. I am my own man, and I have my own path. A path that will become clear soon. My story is far from over...and before I make my path clear...you all...you all will learn the truth! My father...my father was only a part of the story...he was only a part of it.

The man turns back, looking into the camera, but his face his still hidden by his hair. The camera slowly zooms out, as the man is left standing below the statue of Christ on the cross.

Mike: Uh .. Who the hell?

Rocky: Sounds like a Shining Light rip off! Anyway, we're going to hear from those tools in Kayfabolous and then see them in action.

*The theme song of Kayfabulous blares on the PA system and the IWA fans are immediately on their feet for the comedic duo. In no time at all, Skyler Drek and Ron Macoonie make an appearance. Unlike all the other times, they strictly come out in their wrestling gear and not with any new “In The Know” wrestling tees. They head down the ring with Drek sprinting and sliding under the bottom rope and Ron trundling behind him at a much slower pace. When he enters the ring, he pretends to be out of breath while clutching his knees but he “gets over” his fatigue quickly enough to grab the mic that Drek tosses him.*

::Ron Macoonie::

“You know, I’ve been pacing around the back, back and forth with my arms folded behind my back for the past couple of days trying to figure something out here. And then I got to thinking…”

::Skyler Drek::

“This should be really good. YOU thinking. HA!”

::Ron Macoonie::

“Very funny. Anyways, I got to thinking and I know it’s gonna be pretty weird to say and all but boy do I looooooooooove(insert city name here)!”

*With the outburst of cheering Ron gets, he folds his arms and smirks and looks over to Drek who appears distraught.*

“Pay up.”

::Skyler Drek::

“Ugh. Fiiiine.”

*Drek reaches into his pocket and pulls out a ten dollar bill and slaps it into Ron’s open hand with vigor. Ron stuffs the money into his boot.*

::Ron Macoonie::

“Told you that cheap pop would work! Anyways, so now that we’ve started getting featured on Chaos again, thank you Mr. Ball by the way, it’s been a pretty fun time so far. Getting to see all your faces again, talking with all of you after the shows…”

::Skyler Drek::

“Plugging the living hell out of all of our merchandise!”

::Ron Macoonie::

“And that, too. And not only that, we also enjoy doing what Kayfabulous does best and that’s showing the world what true tag team wrestling is all about when we come out here and we entertain you all by taking down the competition. And just like every other tag team here, we have one goal in mind and that’s to one day become the new IWA Tag Team Champions of the world. I mean, I’ll have to buy a belt extenders….okay. You caught me. TWO belt extenders but all the same, that doesn’t mean anything because that’s been my dream and Drek’s dream ever since we grew up watching wrestling together in our footsie pajamas, eating mac n’ cheese and drooling over the busty valets, making Drek tap out to the Sharpshoo…”

*Drek shoves Ron’s chest in irritation as his face reddens slightly.*

::Skyler Drek::

“Hey! I grabbed the bottom rope and you know it!”

::Ron Macoonie::

“Yeah, yeah. Details, details. The point of me saying all of this is that we have respect for the wrestling business both inside and out. Some people may want to make a mockery out of it by not playing fair and not giving upstarts a shot in the spotlight but even with the egomaniacs that we have to deal with on a regular basis, we couldn’t imagine being anywhere else. But even then, there’s been a few tag teams that have really rubbed us the wrong way and we’re fixing to do something about it. In fact, you all know ‘em as The Pardy Boyz and Black Blooded.”

*With the mention of two of the IWA’s most detestable tag teams in history, the audience boos and hisses.*

::Skyler Drek::

“We know, we know. We hate ‘em, too! In fact, if you want to check out our blog/vlog archives that we have on our website, I’m sure we’ve probably made a few jabs at them here and there so go check ‘em out after the show or better yet, you can access it on your mobile devices in case Israel Pamich or some other boring bastard decides to cut a promo and put you all to sleep. You can thank me later. Back on track, so after I took out Mr. Blood…or was it Mr. Black? Hmmm…Ron, who’d I beat last week?”

::Ron Macoonie::

“Can’t tell. They’re practically Siamese twins when it comes to being boring and uninteresting as hell.”

::Skyler Drek::

“Good point. Anyways, so it’s good that we’re facing tag teams like the Pardy Boyz, for tonight at least, and Black Blooded because if you want to talk about cancers, these guys are definitely it. These Pardy Bratz? No respect for the business and believe me, it goes way further than just what you all heard here last week. No discipline, no focus, no craft. Just sloppy drunk douchebaggery and it stains the product so don’t you all worry. We’re going to make sure that tonight is the Pardy Boyz’ last drink on the town before we kick them out of town. And as far as Black Blooded goes, they’re even worse. It’s bad enough that they absolutely suck but the only thing that these people talk about is winning championships from past promotions. “We won this title! We won that title!”. It’s like the art of wrestling doesn’t even matter to them at all. Once we’re done with The Pardy Bratz, we’ll go back to knocking down Black Blooded a couple pegs and along the way, believe us when we say that kayfabe…”

*The rest of the fans chants along the rest of the catchphrase, “will…be…broken!” at the top of their lungs before cheering.*

“Now get out here, fodder! Time to get squashed!”

[Vandarius]

The Pardy Boyz

The crowd boos as The Pardy Boyz make their way out and down the ramp. The two men slide into the ring and the referee keeps the four men separated, and then calls for the bell.

Kayfabulous (Hell No) vs. Pardy Boyz (Rhodes Scholars)
(Start 2:20 End 5:38, ignore others)


Macoonie makes his way into the ring and nails D-Boy with a stiff uppercut to the chin and then tosses him into the ropes. Once D-boy rebounds off of the ropes, Macoonie sails through the air and brings D-Boy down with a massive shoulder block in the center of the ring! Macoonie gets back to his feet and drags D-Boy to the turnbuckle while he lies on the ground. Macoonie then lifts D-Boy to his feet and leans him against the turnbuckle and hits a European uppercut to D-Boy’s chin!


Macoonie slowly backs up, adding distance between him and D-Boy, and then Macoonie charges the turnbuckle and goes to pancake D-Boy into the steel, but Rymac runs at his partner and pulls him away from the turnbuckle, making Macoonie run into the turnbuckle hard! D-boy sees the open opportunity and starts to his hard left and right hands into the torso of Macoonie, and then hits a dropkick to his knee, making him fall down to the mat. Rymac is back in his corner and calls for the tag, so D-Boy quickly runs over and tags Rymac in!


Mike: I may not like these two, but they make one hell of a team.

Rocky: Well no shit, Mike! They’re awesome!


Rymac makes his way over to Macoonie and slaps him in the back of the head, and then tosses him to the ropes, but Macoonie stops himself by holding onto the top rope. Rymac charges Macoonie and goes for a clothesline, but Macoonie ducks out of the way! Rymac turns around and eats a sucker punch to the jaw from Macoonie, but then Rymac hits Macoonie with one of his own! Both men begin to trade blows!


Rymac! Macoonie! Rymac! Macoonie! Rymac! Rymac! Rymac!


Rymac gets the upper hand and then Irish whips Macoonie to the ropes, but then Drek tags himself in as Macoonie hits the ropes and Rymac doesn’t see it! Rymac drops Macoonie with a massive clothesline and goes for the cover, but the referee tells Rymac that Macoonie isn’t tagged in! While Rymac argues with the referee, Drek climbs the top turnbuckle.


Mike: Oh boy. This will be interesting!

Rocky: TURN AROUND RYMAC! Oh lord...


Rymac pushes the referee away when he sees Drek climb to the top, but then when Rymac goes to attack him, but then Drek flies off the top and connects with a FLYING Edrektion!! Rymac gets knocked flat on his back from the flying super kick, and Drek goes for the cover!

One! Two! THREE!


Emily Davis: Here are your …


Emily is cut off when Black Blooded come running through the crowd with steel chains in hand and slide into the ring! Blood starts to stomp away at Drek hard while Black wraps the chain around his fist and smokes Macoonie in the jaw hard with it! Blood stands Drek up to his feet in the ring, lays the chain down on the mat, and then hits the Blood Drop on Drek, making his forehead bounce off the chain! On the outside of the ring, Black has Macoonie set up for the Black Death … And then Black connects with the Black Death onto the steel steps! The crowd is exploding with boos as Black slides into the ring with Blood and the two men stand in the middle surveying their damage.

Mike: These guys are fucking nuts.

Rocky: No, these guys ... Hey! Look at the titantron!

The Tron cuts to a shot of a hospital room. We start with a wide shot of the room, but, as we zoom in on the bed, we see Jman sitting in it. J has stitches in his head, heavily bandaged ribs and isn’t looking too good, but he begins to speak all the same.


Jman: 23 stiches, six broken ribs, and a concussion. Physically, that’s the damage you did to me last week, Kyojin. I don’t care about that, though. Everything will heal and, doctors recommendation or not, I’ll be at Chaos next week.

No, what I care about is that little speech you gave as you were doing the deed last week. I didn’t hear you at the time, but I’ve watched it since and, man, it caught my ear. Think about what you said, Kyo. You were so pissed off, so enraged, that I was placed in the Maximum Anarchy match at DFI that, instead of putting in the work to get back your spot as the face of IWA, you thought it would be easier to take me out? News flash, pal, that’s not how it works.


J shuffles around in the bed before starting to speak again.


Jman: Actually, heh, that is how it works these days, isn’t it? For as much good as this new generation has done, you’ve done one thing that absolutely infuriates me. By whatever means it takes, talent or no talent, you guys find the easy way to get ahead. You politick, you kiss management’s ass and you bitch and complain if things aren’t to your liking.

Did I play the political game early on in my career? Did I try to take a shortcut or two? Damn right I did. First, though, I proved to the people who mattered that I was worth putting their asses on the line for.


J has a sip of water from his bedside table before talking again.


That’s what frustrates me about you, Kyo. On in-ring talent and mic work alone, you can be an all-time great. You don’t need to complain to management that you’re not going places, man. If you had kept doing what you were doing before DFI, they would’ve put you on top, ahead of me. Now, though, I’m not going to give them that chance.

See, Kyo, you’ve made this personal and, even though I respect your immense talent, you’ve given me all the reason I need to make an example out of you. What’s about to happen to Kyojin, ladies and gentlemen, is why you should never take what you think is the easy road in life.


J relaxes back into the bed before delivering one last line.


Jman: See you next week, Kyo.
Boom.