BITW I: Kingdom Come.

[Kashdinero]

I'm the best in the world at what I do

BEST IN THE WORLD!!!

The best thing going today

BEST IN THE WORLD! BEST IN THE WORLD!!

The Best there is, the Best there was, the Best there ever will be.

I'm the best there is at what I do, bub.

#ProlongedPop

#BEST-IN-THE-WORLD-BEST-IN-THE-WORLD-BEST-IN-THE-WORLD

The camera pans around the arena, and there's not a single empty seat. Everybody is on their feet, and the energy in Madison Square Garden is electric. As the camera pans, many fan made signs can be made out.

ABOUT BLOODY TIME!!

I'M SITTING NEXT TO JMAN AND EDDIE!!

KJAM'S GOT THIS

SHURIKEN BLADE STOLE MY WIFE

SANDY WINS OR WE RIOT

KJAMS GOT STRAIGHT UP HERPES

KURWA POWER!

KYOJIN IS THE REAL BEST IN THE WORLD

WHATS HIS MOTHER FUCKIN' NAME?!

AAALLLPHAA DOOOOG!!

BABA SNAIR FOR PREZ!

IT'S SLEEPY TIME!!!

SPIT ON ME LRB

HIRE TOMMY THUNDER

WHERE'S VHX?

SHOOT, SHAZ, SHOOT!

DEPRI$E = MONEY IN DA BANK!

DIVINE IS A WANKER!

APRIL SNOW>SASHA PANZER

I THOUGHT THIS WAS JABE

ATHENA IS MY DAD

N-DUBS IS HC TO THE BONE

BEST IN THE WORLD? PROVE IT, BITCH!

BEST IN THE WORLD management -The Seven- can be seen standing in the ring, with a huge near seven foot man standing to the right of them. Their spokesman, William. A. Hill, has a microphone, but before he speaks, the camera pans to ringside where the BEST IN THE WORLD announce team are shown, smiling and ready to open the show. The two young men are dressed casually in matching "BITW = BITW" T-Shirts, the slightly younger looking one can be seen typing furiously on his iPhone.


Chuck.... Rock.

#LETS-GO-MAR-VELS!-LETS-GO-MAR-VELS!

@RockIsAMarvel: Hey, mom, we're on TV again!! #ShowTime #LetsProveBITWisTheBITW

Chuck Marvel: Hello, ladies and gentlemen at home, and welcome to our very first show!! Its finally time to show everyone what the hype has been all about because its time for... BEST IN THE WORLD I: Kingdom Come!!!!!! I'm Chuck Marvel, and this is my younger brother, Rock Marvel. We're the Marvel Brothers, and BEST IN THE WORLD management have decided that we're the best guys to call the action here, so, not only am I feeling the pressure, I'm also really honoured to be here.

Rock: We were chosen because, quite simply, we're the most qualified for the job. We're life long fans of this great sport, and we're still only twenty three and twenty one respectfully, so you know that we're in touch with what the fans want to hear. Be sure to catch us on twitter tweeting our socks off throughout the show, adding our own thoughts to go along with the proceedings and not just what The Seven want us to say.

Chuck: Speaking of The Seven, as you can see, the seven masterminds behind this wonderful new eFed are standing in the ring, so let's not keep them waiting any further and allow none other than William. A. Hill to speak to all of these wonderful people here tonight, and all of you fine folk watching at home.

[Kashdinero]

The view switches to the hard camera and The Seven's spokesman brings the microphone towards his mouth.


William. A. Hill: Hello, everybody, and welcome to Kingdom Come!!

#VastSizedPop

Welcome to... BEST! IN! THE! WOOOORRRLD!!!!

#MassiveSizedPop

Before we get started with what IS going to be a fantastic show, I'd like to introduce myself, BEST IN THE WORLD spokesperson, William. Arnold. Hill, and my fellow members of The Seven, former JBW President and wrestler, Iron Ape.

#HugePopForTheApeMan

Former SRW GM, Dutch Ross.

#S-R-Wclapclapclapclapclap

Former Hollywood producer, and all round lovely woman, not to mention a true wrestling historian, Deborah Jackson.

#SHE'S-A-BITCH!-SHE'S-A-BITCH!

Hey, she's not that bad, guys! She's a stern woman for sure, but I can assure you that there's not a woman on the planet who takes her job more seriously, and trust me, she has given and will continue to give one hundred plus percent for this company... Next up, we have Robert Wayne, one of the most creative minds you'll find anywhere, and one of the driving forces behind a lot of what you've seen on your favourite wrestling shows over the past two years.

#ROB-IS-R(OB)clapclapclapclapclap-ROB-IS-R(OB)clapclapclapclapclap

Next up, we have a man who has worked with Robert on a number of different projects, and has had more than a small hand in putting this whole company together. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Samuel Kent.

#KENT-IS-KA$H!-KENT-IS-KA$H!

Haha, I can assure you all that Samuel Kent is not former JBW owner Ka$hDinero... Lastly, we have another former JBW President in Zap Alderman. Please, give him a huge round of applause!

#BigPopForZap

#ZAP-IS-ZAPPH!-ZAP-IS-ZAPPH!

OK, folks, before I move on, I also must introduce you all to a man who you'll probably be seeing quite a bit of in BITW, so please can everybody give a warm reception to our personal bodyguard, and head of security.. BR1DGEBACK!!



BR1DGEBACK

#BigPop

BR1DGEBACK stands to the side of The Seven with his arms folded. He doesn't acknowledge anything, but is seen looking around the arena, surveying the situation.

Right, now, I think it's time to let everybody know what BEST IN THE WORLD is all about. Quite frankly, its about bringing together the very best talent from the eWN's eFedding scene together and placing them in matches that you're not likely to find anywhere else. Guys from JBW, EWNCW, IWA, TWE, and everywhere else are welcome to come and prove themselves amongst the greatly impressive roster that we already have here in BEST IN THE WORLD. We have an open door policy that I'm begging everybody to use, so that we may showcase their talents on the highest platform imaginable. I know that there are those out there that are skeptical, but I'm sure that after you've all witnessed what we have to offer, you'll hopefully change your minds. We've invited a great deal of extremely important figureheads and members of creative from all of the great eFeds out there to witness our show first hand, and I personally know that they're going to have a great time here tonight.


#ASmallButProminentICWchant


Now, before I hand you over to our official BITW hype man, I want to touch briefly on our unique points system. Basically, for every singles win a competitor has achieved they will receive ten points, and once a competitor has reached one hundred points they will receive a guaranteed eWN World Heavyweight Championship match with whatever gimmick they desire. In the interim, we, The Seven, will be devising matches, tournaments, and the like to determine number one contenders.

Now, thank you for listening, and... without further adieu, may I ask you all to get on your feet and turn your attentions towards the CYBERTron, where we will now show you a video package that will give you all a good look at our official hype man.. I think you'll all be pleasantly surprised at who it is.

Chuck: Oh, boy, this should be good!

[Kashdinero]

Kevin Smith

Kevin Smith walks out onto the stage.

#MegaNerdPop

Once he has allowed the fans to calm down a little, he begins to make his way down the ramp, taking time out to reach out and high five a few of the lucky ones. He reaches the ringside area, and The Seven and head of security, BR1DGEBACK, step through the ring ropes, and make their way down the ring steps. They pass Kevin Smith, and each of them shake his hand.

The last one to pass him is BR1DGEBACK, and as he does so, Kevin holds out his hand to shake it.

BR1DGEBACK just gives him a dirty look, and proceeds to walk towards the ringside barrier where we see none other than Ka$hDinero and Rated_R(ob)KO sitting at front row.

#HugePop

#THANK-YOU-R(OB)!-THANK-YOU-KA$H!

The two act as if they don't know why they are being thanked, and Ka$h looks directly into the camera and brings his index finger to his lips.

"Shhhh"

Chuck: Well, there's the guests of honour, everyone.

Rock: Yeah, everybody knows that these two have a special interest in this company, but as Ka$h just said.. Shhhh.

BR1DGEBACK easily steps over the ringside barrier and takes the seat next to Ka$h.

Rock: It looks like the big fella is gonna enjoy the rest of the show like a normal fan.

Chuck: Ain't nothing normal about that hulk of a giant, Rock, I just think he's protecting our guests of honour, as I know full well that they've got more heat between them than a volcano on a shooting star!

The view once again switches to the hard camera, and Kevin Smith is shown, smiling, standing in the middle of the ring with a mic in hand.

#YOU'RE-LEGEND!clapclapclapclapclap

Chuck: Are you kidding me, Rock?! the Kevin Smith is here in BITW?!

@ChuckyMarv: This ones for all you nerds out there--Kevin Smith is standing not fifteen feet away from me

Rock: I'm not a fan.

Chuck: Says the guy who begged mom to buy him that signed and framed page from the original script of Mallrats.

Rock:.. Ahh, whatever, just let the man speak.

Kevin Smith: Hello, Madison Square Garden!!

#Pop

And hello to all the wrestling fans watching at home, I'm Kevin Smith, and this is dream cone true right now. Being a longtime eFedding fan, this has to be my mark out moment of the century! I'm looking out into the crowd and I can see there's a loooot of celebrities, wrestling supereWN regulars out there, and on behalf of myself, and The Seven, I just want to thank you all for being here with us this evening--it's an absolute pleasure to have you. Now, it would be extremely rude of me to say that we have all of these wonderful guests with us tonight without getting as many of them all on camera, so before I continue, I'd like to introduce a man who I have worked with very closely over the years.. Ladies and gentleman, give it up for Jason Mewes!!



Jason Mewes
Jason Mewes walks through the curtain--he is carrying a video camera on his shoulder, and is holding a microphone with his free hand.

#HugePop

As Jason walks down the ramp, he begins to speak.

Jason Mewes: That's absolutely right, bitches! The men who play Jay and Silent Bob are in the h-izz-ooouse!!!

#HugePopAgain

Now, some of you may be wondering why I'm out here carrying this huge ass camera? Well, this right here isn't some ordinary camera--ohh no, this right here just happens to be "Jason's Celebrity Mewes Cam".

Jason climbs the ring steps and makes his way through the ropes, making sure not to drop the video camera. Once inside the ring, he turns the camera on the fans in attendance, and at the bottom right hand corner of the screen a small box appears that is depicting what "Jason's Celebrity Mewes Cam" is picking up.

Kevin Smith: OK, Madison Square Garden, while I give you all a run down of the card, I want you all to keep an eye on the wonderfully named CYBERTron above the stage, and see who appears on "Jason's Celebrity Mewes Cam". For the folks at home, keep an eye on the box in the bottom right hand corner of your screens at home.

WWE Raw acting GM Vickie Guerrero and her daughter can be seen in the front row sipping on some Don Perignon Champagne.

Now, let's have a run down of this fantastic looking card. First match I wanna talk about is a match that is going to see the first ever eWN World Heavyweight Champion crowned. Yep, that's right, I'm talking about our main event--a fatal four way featuring some of the greatest wrestlers to grace gods green earth. We're gonna see the EWNCW World Heavyweight Champion and former two time, two time JBW Mayhem World Heavyweight Champion K-Jammin see if he can back his talk and step up to the ultimate plate, and become the world champion again. If he does it, he'll be making history by becoming a dual world champion. Personally I really don't want that flash asshole to win, but, to be fair, he's got the most experience in these high profile matches, and that's surely going to work in his favour.

The EWNCW creative team are shown sitting in their very own skybox. Tommy Thunder is seen sitting in between a pair of brunette stunners, while sporting a huge grin. Grind_Bastard is shown sipping on a glass of expensive Trappistes Rochefort number six. Sitting next to him is Peter Kaymalkin sporting a "Where In The World Is TBOZ?" T-Shirt. Rilla is looking casual sitting back in his own personal Lazy Boy, while Kingstrem can be shown jotting things down on a notepad, probably something extremely creative. TWE owner, Krysys is also shown in the skybox, his T-shirt reading "BITW? HAHA!!"

[Kashdinero]

Smith: Also in that match is a man that held the JBW WARFare World Heavyweight Championship for longer than any other man in JBW history. Yes, people, that's right, I'm talking about the man who is treated as a god in India due to the fact that he's made over one hundred and thirty Bollywood movies. In India, this guy is tits, man, and just just recently he's been associated with Shilpa Shetti, Snair. Having wore the big belt before, you can bet your right eye that he will be bringing his A-Game here tonight.

#BA-BA-SNAIR!-BA-BA-SNAIR!

Also in our massive main event is former JBW Mayhem World TV Champion, and former Mexican Champion, none other than.. The Sleeper. If there was ever a guy who is a rebel unto himself, it's that guy. Poot's got nothing on Sleepy when it comes to sticking it to his bosses, and has found himself, fired, banned, and more for saying just whatever the hell's on his mind. If ever a guy had a reason to win a match it's this guy--what better way to show the boss who's boss than becoming the man that he has no choice but to respect him.

#SLEE-PY-TIME!-SLEE-PY-TIME!

Carolina Panthers Quaterback Cam Newton can be seen in full uniform cheering wildy at the mention of The Sleeper.

Rock: Haha, there's my main man Cam. See he's a huge Sleeps fan like me, Rock.

Smith: Now, last but not least in tonights main event may be the least decorated of the four competitors, but many many critics say that he's more than deserving of this opportunity. Maybe even the most deserving. Yes, that's right, people, I'm talking about Gabriel "The Alpha Dog" Xander!!

#WE-LOVE-AL-PHA!clapclapclapclapclap-WE-LOVE-AL-PHA!clapclapclapclapclap

The entire JBW creative team are shown sitting in the front row. Eddie is shown wearing a Lanny Poffo T-shirt, JMan is sitting next to him in his trademark JBW T-Shirt, and beside him is JBW Unified World Heavyweight Champion TheDevilsAdvocate. Next shown is New Zealand's own, Whatsy, wearing an "Infernio = The Devil" T-shirt. Beside him are HolyJose and his often times inebriated cousin, DrunkJose--Holy is sporting "1D" T-shirt, and is clearly annoyed at being sat next to his half slumped over family member. Sat in between a pair of hot looking Latino women is S.E.Zero, who taps the woman on his right on the shoulder and points in a far off direction. As she turns her head to see what he is pointing out, he slyly takes a quick pic of her huge cleavage with his iPhone before giving a cheeky wink to the camera.

Smith: As you can see, people, we have ourselves a very stacked main event. Having followed all four men's careers from their debut matches, I can only slightly orgasm at the prospect of what those four superstars will bring come bell time.

Former JBW hype man Ron Burgundy is shown, and he has brought his news team with him, including his girlfriend Veronica Corningstone. Champ Kind is wearing a T-Shirt that bears his famous catchphrase "WHAMMY!", Brick Tamlin is wearing a "Lenny Lightning" T-Shirt, and Brian Fantana is wearing a black T-shirt sporting the words "Dare You Brave The Octagon!".

Smith: Now, we also have a shit load more of matches, so let's run through them. Up next we have a strange match up that could just very well give us one of the best matches of the night. On one side we have a thugged out, high flying, rapping, gangsta from New York, and on the other side you have a redneck from Mississippi. Both men in this one have everything to win, and are out to prove themselves here in BEST IN THE WORLD. Personally, I have a great interest in this match as we can all bet our left nut that April Snow will be out here accompanying Mike Muir when he comes out here to face Depri$e.

IWA owner ,and all round creative genius, Bear is shown wearing an "RIP ICW" T-Shirt. Accompanying him is his buddy, the creatively amazing Vandarius.

Smith: Another match that I know many of you guys in attendance and at home are clamouring to see is Athena vs Sasha and Barbie Panzer. I know that many of you have seen Athena go one on one with guys, but I guess BITW management just wanted to see what she's got first hand against the women of BITW. Granted she'll be facing two women, but I thinkwe all know that she's going to be kicking some major league ass in that one. My advice to those two gorgeous Germans is to stay in their locker room and leave this one out. Knowing those two, though, they'll be out here doing their damndest to make Athena's first appearance at the Gardens an uncomfortable one. I guess we'll just have to wait and see, eh?

Former North Carolina Congressman Cam Brady is seen in the crowd with his lady friend Shaina.

[Kashdinero]

Smith: Yeah, I've met Athena, and, I mean this in the most flattering way when I say, that woman is a monster of epic proportions. Speaking of monsters, Ano Doom is gonna be here trying wrecking all in his path in a four way contest against three of the toughest men on the planet. A lot of pressure is on Ano tonight to prove himself in the monster stakes, but with a psychopath like Seth Thirteen in there with him, he's got a lot on his hands for sure. The other two competitors in that match are the relatively unknown Elliott Bonebreak, and the most famous redneck in wrestling, "The Redneck Wrecking Machine" Lenny Ray Beauregard!

#EL-ARE-BEE!-EL-ARE-BEE!

If Ano Doom is gonna monster his way through that match, I've a feeling that good ol' LRB is gonna have a few things to say about that!

Paul Heyman is shown grinning like a cheshire cat. The camera pans out slightly, and WWE Champion CM Punk and former WWE and UFC Heavyweight Champion, Brock Lesnar, are seen flanking him. Sitting a few seats away from them are NASCAR legend Ricky Bobby and his life long friend Cal Norton Jr.

Another fantastic match we have in store for you all is Oli and Karl Panzer, AKA The Panzer Division going up against -a team that many had never even heard of before they say the announced card for tonight- WAR-LOCK--a former Marine and a former prison guard. This one is interesting for the fact that, as relative unknowns, WAR-LOCK will bring us all something different, which is what The Seven are striving to do with BITW's tag division, as can also be evidenced by the awesome looking triple threat tag match we also have for you tonight. In that one we have two new and exciting tandems in the highflying teams known as Iconography and SKARE DEM KREW, who will be going up against the beasts that are Brick "The Bastard" Godslayer and Damian Icarus. I can't see any team anywhere being able to take those two down, but from what I've heard about Lucifer Diablo and Naik Reven, and Jason Todd and Ben Reilly Kent, I'm gonna enjoy watching those two teams try. Iconography are definitely a team after my own heart, and, secretly I'll be rooting for them.

A drunk looking Santa Claus can be seen, and next to him is an animated looking ELF, who is bouncing up and down in his seat and clapping with joy after seeing himself on the CyberTron.

Chuck: Hey, look at Santa! He doesn't look too healthy, Rock.

Rock: Haha, he looks like he's been on a bender since delivering all those presents at Christmas.

Smith: Another match I know that you're all looking forward to is Artemis Eclipse going one on one with a man who he has had quite the behind the scenes rivalry with, Shaz. I've got it on good authority that those two have quite a few controversial things to say to one another, so be sure to keep your ears open for that one--I know Bear will be that's for sure.

Bear is once again shown, this time he can be seen knowingly nodding his head.

Rock: There's that assclown again. I think he's had a little inside information.


Chuck: Hey, he's a cool guy, Rock, and I'm a huge IWA fan!

Smith: We have a match going down tonight that features two of the most colourful guys on any roster, and they'll be bringing their main squeezes with them. That's right, I'm talking about none other than the mixed tag team match up that will see former JBW SHOWDOWN! World TV Champion RedruM and his girlfriend Al Qaeda Rashida taking on "Red Hot" Istvan Gretzky and his manager, the newly turned anti-american, and current JBW xBOMBxSHELLx Champion Nicole Belzova. That one should be a doozy for sure!

The camera shows JBW's Underground Champion and former EWA owner, and one of the competitors in the fatal four way at BITW II: Take No Prisoners to determine the number one contender to the eWN World Heavyweight Championship, Rob Rage, and his very good buddy, and EWA creative member, Destruction.

Smith: If anyone knows me, they know I'm a huge mark for the Horrorcore scene in eWrestling, and we have a psychotic six way featuring some of the craziest bastards known to mankind. Former JBW Mayhem World Heavyweight champion Chainsaw will be facing his close associate Samson, his brother Tad Locust, the weird and creepy Macabre, the emo wonderkid Black Tear, and the all around vicious son of a bitch that is The Butcher. Now, we've all seen Horrorcore matches, but this one will be like something none of us have ever seen before.

Christian "The Prophecy" Baird can be seen. The man who will be main eventing BITW II: Take No Prisoners, is sitting with the huge RAGNAROK, his girlfriend Bella Donna, and his long time associate, VKM.

Rock: Oh, boy, there he is, Chuck. I love The freaking Prophecy!!!

Smith: Well, the winner of that sick, sick, sick, six way will have the honour of facing the winner of our next match here in this match run down. A match that will see the first, and the one and only, eWN Horrorcore Champion NightWolf go one on one with the enigma that is The Sandman in a match that will truly separate the men from the boys. When those two clash in that ring -and probably around it as well- all hell is going to break loose, and I fully expect bloodshe- no, sorry, a bloodbath for that one.

The camera shows the original eWN Moderator team, SilverGhost, who is wearing an "NJPW Wrestle Kingdom 7" T-shirt, Bodom -who clearly isn't enjoying himself- wearing a bright pink "Barney" T-shirt, and Robstar, who is wearing a T-Shirt that reads "I came because of Vickie". Robstar stands up and turns around, showing off the back of his T-Shirt--"Ambiguity"

Suddenly from seemingly out of nowhere, IPEEINTHESHOWER runs past the mod squad and slaps Bodom in the back of the head.

Infuriated, Bodom, SilverGhost, and Robstar instantly get up from their seats and begins to chase the maniacally laughing IPITS as the camera follows them. Former eWN member Pauadrian can be seen as the mod team pass him, wearing a T-Shirt that simply reads "Fuck Broc".

The original moderator team are pushing past fans in a scrambled attempt to catch IPITS, but rather than get in his way, the fans are actually allowing him to pass.

After a minute or so of the chase, it appears that IPITS is going to get away, but from out of nowhere, member of The Seven, and fellow moderator Iron Ape comes out of nowhere and sticks out his foot, causing IPITS to take a tumble. The mod team reach him and after a few kicks while he's on the floor, security escort the troublemaker out of the building to a huge round of applause.

Kevin Smith stares at the CYBERTron for a couple of seconds with his jaw wide open. After regaining his composure he resumes with the match run down.

Smith: Well... That was unexpected. Right, uh, where was I? Oh yeah, the match card... The match card that I believe I have actually finished

#SlightPauseThenBoos

What? I'm sure I've finished hyping up all of the matche-ohhh yeah, sorry, there's just one little match I think I've forgotten, but.. well, that match needs no further hype.. take it away, Bobby.

Chuck: Oh, boy, we're starting Kingdom Come wit-with....

[Kashdinero]

Match 1: Ryusuke "Shuriken Blade" Serra vs Ma$$Dinero

Rock: Are you freaking kidding me?!?! This match is a main event in anyone's book, and we're starting things off with it!!

Ryusuke "Shuriken Blade" Serra

The crowd grows loud with anticipation as the lights go out.
　
#ScreamsOfExcitement
　
Rock: Here we go!
　
The CYBERTron shows pictures of the brutal battle between Siaki and Shuriken.
　
#MegaPopForClassicBattle
　
Then a picture of Ma$$ attacking Siaki appears. (pics owned by JBW.)
　
#crowdheat

#FUCK-MA$$
　
Chuck: This crowd is ready to explode!




Ryusuke "Shuriken Blade" Serra

　
#InsanePop
　
#ProlongedInsanePop
　
#PopThatShouldBeInAnAsylum

Shuriken walks out and is drowned by the cheers in MSG. Shuriken walks down with a serious look on his face as people pat his shoulders in appreciation for what he has done for them. As he gets to the steps of the ring, he looks around MSG as the crowd still goes crazy over Shuriken's presence. He gets in the ring and asks for the mic.

Shuriken: (still looking around MSG as the crowd continues to cheer) New York....prepare for a fight. A fight like which you have never seen before. You think Siaki vs Shuriken was good and brutal.....you have NO IDEA how brutal this match will be. I will make Ma$$ suffer from back then and his stupidity now. Disrespecting a friend, backstabbing him, and choosing me as his enemy. That is fine by me. Ma$$, you have sealed you defeat by choosing me. Ma$$! YOU WILL NOT LEAVE MADISON SQUARE GARDEN THE WINNER OR EVEN A LOSER, BUT YOU WILL LEAVE AS A BROKEN MAN! YOU CAN TELL THEM THAT I CAUSED YOUR DOWNFALL AND NO ONE WILL FEEL SORRY FOR YOU! MA$$, THE TIME HAS COME! YOUR JUDGEMENT IS NOW!

Chuck: Tell him, Shuri!

[Kashdinero]

Ma$$Dinero


Chuck: Well, it's time to see the man who has turned into quite the a$$hole these days. I can't wait for Shuri to kick his ass like someone has needed to for quite some time now.

Suddenly, the view on the CYBERTron switches to a shot of a backstage exit.

Even more suddenly, the doors burst open so fast and with so much force, they fly off of their hinges. A huge group of men and women begin pouring through and in no time at all the backstage area is housing a fifty strong group of extremely tough looking thugish types.

Rock: It's Ma$$' Ma$$eS, Chuck!

@RockIsAMarvel: #StandUpForMa$$

Chuck: I knew this clown couldn't show up on his own.

Rock: Holy shit, Chuck, you'll never guess who just retweeted me!

@iamjammin: @RockIsAMarvel: #StandUpForMa$$

Ma$$' Ma$$e$ part like the Red Sea, and standing in the middle of them is none other than Ma$$Dinero. Dressed in his full wrestling gear--black baggy knee length shorts with his his many sponsors emblazoned all over them, white ankle length boots, and white elbow and knee pads, with his fits taped up to top it all off. He begins to walk towards the camera and his Ma$$e$ follow him. He sharply turns around and says..

"Not this time, guys.. Ya' boys got this one."

Ma$$' Ma$$e$ stop in their tracks and Ma$$ continues on alone. After a few steps, one of his Ma$$e$ calls out and throws something into the air in Ma$$' direction.

"Yo, blud, don't forget this!"

Ma$$ catches his platinum plated, diamond encrusted, microphone and allows a small smile to cross his face.

"Heh, thanks, bruv."

He looks down at the mic, and then turns it on.

Ma$$Dinero: OK, mic-check, is this thing on?

#StrongMixedReaction

#SmarkCheers

Heh, I guess it is.

Yo, Shuri, you hear me, fam?

The view switches to Shuriken Blade, and we see that his eyes are fixed on the CYBERTron.

The view switches back to Ma$$, who is still walking backstage, making his way towards the main arena.

Yeah, you can hear me, for sure. Well, Shuricunt Blade, before I get out there, I just want to warn you--I ain't here to fuck about tonight, so if you wanna leave now, no one would think any less of you.

Shuriken does not move and stays standing still in the middle of the ring with a look that says he isn't impressed.

Ha, yeah, I bet you're standing in the middle of that ring right now with a look on your face that let's everyone know you ain't impressed. Well, let's call a spade a spade here, Shuri, and let the truth be known--the truth of the matter is: you are impressed, and you bloody well know it! I mean, just look at me! I'm the walking fucking epitome of cool, and you're Ryu and Kens retarded looking love child. Of course you're impressed, you're, like, the most boring fuckwit on the planet, and when you see me having a good time and actually being entertaining, it kills you because you know full well that if you had even an ounce of my charisma in you, you'd be just the same as me. Instead you just spout off about being some kind of messiah in that ring, acting like I'm not on your level when it comes to actually getting down to some wrassin'...

Well..

News to the fucking Flash, cuntchops! Man like me just can't help myself but entertain these people--it's in my blood, I guess, but, when I say you act like you're better than me, that's exactly what it is, an act. You KNOW full bloody well that not only are you not better than me, but you're actually scared of me. You know that once the pageantry I bring with me to the ring has disappeared, I'm every bit as dangerous as I am flash.

Ma$$ reaches the gorilla position, where Samuel Kent and Robert Wayne are waiting to check him through and start his theme song.

You may have noticed that I lef- wait a minute, lemmie just talk to these two a minute.

Ma$$ takes the mic away from his mouth, but he can still be heard through the mic on the camera.

"Yeah, 'sup, pussies?"

"OK, you ready, Ma$$?"

"Man was born ready t'rasklart! anyway, how comes it takes two of ya' to play one mans fucking tune?"

"What?"

"Just play the damn tune, man, man ain't got all fucking day!"

Chuck: Well, I guess its finally time for Ma$$ to "grace" us with his presence out here.

Rock: Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! This match is going to own!!!

[Kashdinero]

Ma$$Dinero

Ma$$Dinero walks out onto the stage.

#MegaReaction

#MixedFeelingsFromCrowd

@RockIsAMarvel: Shout out to @iamjammin for retweeting me #Ma$$CanSoDoThis

Ma$$Dinero: Yep, that's right, Shuri, I'm here now. You and your destiny shall become one very soon. Heh, or something like that, anyway--I just wanted to see what it was like talking like you for a bit... I gotta tell ya', I didn't half feel like a twat!

Shuriken glares at Ma$$.

Oooh, look, everyone, Shuricunt's giving me the evils. Anyways, where was I? Oh yeah, I was about to say...

You may have noticed I've left my Ma$$e$ behind me tonight. Well, the reason behind that is simple. I don't need them. I've never needed them. They offer me company, no more. Great company, but, at the end of the day, they are not needed for anything more. Granted, I love the fact that they add a whole new level of intimidation to my overall appearance, but, when it comes to actually getting down and sorting out business, that's all me. I don't need anyone for that. When I beat you, Mr Blade -and rest assured, I will beat you- it will be because I went all out and proved to you and the rest of the hate mongers that I'm a lot more than just a bunch of gimmicks and hangers on. Now, I can see that you're trying your hardest to pretend to not be impressed, so, what I'll do, is say this.

Mass begins to walk down the ramp.

Shuriken, just because someone can do something, it doesn't necessarily mean that they have to. Look, here's a very good example of what I mean.

Ma$$ stops half way down the ramp, and raises his hand, and sticks out his thumb and index finger, to make a gun shape. He then points towards Shuriken Blade, and slightly cocks his head to one side and squints his right eye.

"Forehead"

Suddenly, a red dot appears on Shurikens forehead, and hovers there.

#GaspsAndScreams

"Heart."

Another red dot appears on Shurikens chest, just left of the center.

"Left eye."

Shuriken has the vision in his left eye slightly obscured as another red dot appears exactly where Ma$$ has said.

"Right eye."

Another red dot appears. Now both of his eyes are covered with a red dot--rather than move his head, he simply closes his eyes.

"Boom."

After immitating pulling a triger, Ma$$ puts his hand down and continues walking.

Ma$$: See what I'm saying, Shuri? Just because I could, quite easily, drop you in that ring at the mere drop of a word, I don't. Why? Because, my little misguided Shinobi wannabe, there's way more fun to be had by kicking the living shit out of you.

Ma$$ raises his hand and makes a small gesture.

Ok, take the lights off of him.

The red dots disappear.

Now, with all that said, I think its time to finally put the naysayers to bed and do this this thing. Get ready for the

Ma$$ walks towards the ringsteps, and places his microphone in the corner of the ring. As he walks up the steps, the cameras catch the member of the audience who brought the "Hire Tommy Thunder" sign being escorted out of the building.

Ma$$ enters the ring, and waits in the corner for the match to begin.

Not once do the pair take their eyes off of each other as ring announcer Bobby Morris steps into the ring and walks into position.

Bobby Morris: Ladies and Gentleman, this is our opening contest, and it is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from California, standing five feet, eleven inches, weighing in at two hundred and twenty fiiive pounds. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you.. RYYYUUUU "SHHHUUUUUURIKEN BLAAAAAADE" SERRAAAAAAAA!"

#UltraPop

#KICK-HIS-HEAD-IN!clapclapclapclap- KICK-HIS-HEAD-IN!clapclapclapclap

Ryu runs his thumb across his neck and points at Ma$$.

Chuck: I can't believe we're starting things off with this match.

Rock: Its like we're starting the show with a main event.

Bobby Morris: Aaaaannd, his opponent.. from London, England, weighing in at eighteen stone, and standing five feet, ten inches, ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for MMMMMMMAAAAAAAA$$$$$...DINEROOOOOOOO

#HeelHeat

#SmarkCheers

#TensionRising

Ma$$Dinero flips Shuriken the bird, and spits in his general direction.

Chuck: That man is disgusting.

Rock: No, he's the freaking man, and this match is about to start.

[Kashdinero]

DING! DING!

#hugepop

Chuck: And there's the opening bell to the first match ever in BITW, and boy, are we in for a treat!

Ma$$Dinero wastes no time and runs across the ring and rushes Shuriken Blade with a furious set of punches towards his face and ribs, but Shuriken easily blocks all of them before ducking a wild haymaker.

Shuriken brings his knee into Ma$$' sternum and knocks the wind out of him. He follows up with a surprising and completely devastating Dragon Punch.

"Sho-Ryu-Ken!!!"

Ma$$ flys halfway across the ring from the force of the rising uppercut that caught him square on the jaw.

#HOLY-SHIT-HOLY-SHIT

Chuck: Holy shit indeed!! I feel like I'm in a video game right now! What a way to start things off in the very first match ever in BITW!

Rock: Wow.

@ChuckyMarv: Shuriken Blade>Ryu/Ken #BITWOverStreetFight

Rather than retaliate, Ma$$Dinero opts to roll out of the ring, where he has a minor tantrum and kicks the ringsteps. Unable to believe what had just happened, he stands there for a few seconds shaking his head. Holding his jaw, he then approaches ring announcer Bobby Morris and grabs him by the collar and whispers something in his ear. Bobby nods, and Ma$$ storms off and makes his way back up the ramp and walks through the curtain to a chorus of boos from the New York faithful. A bemused looking Shuriken Blade can only watch and show his contempt.

Rock: Ma$$ is my hero, but what the hell is he doing?

Chuck: I think he just lef-

Bobby Morris: Ladies and gentlemen, Ma$$Dinero has informed me to let you all know that that never just happened. So.. **clears throat**..



Iiiintrooooducing, from London, England, he stands five feet ten inches, and he is weighing in at a solid eighteen stone.. ladies and gentlemen, I give you Maaaaaa$$$$$ Diiiinnneeerrroooo!!!

Ma$$ walks out to the sounds of his theme tune blaring being accompanied by another chorus of boos.

Chuck: Well, this has to be some sort of joke..

Rock: No way, Chuck--didn't you hear Bobby? He said that never happened, and Ma$$ is obviously just now coming to the ring for the first time tonight.

Chuck: Well, by the way he's rubbing his jaw, I'd say he must have run into someones fist before he came out here.

Ma$$Dinero rubs his jaw as he makes his way down the ramp.

Sickened by the tomfoolery happening, Shuriken decides he's waited long enough for Ma$$ and brings the fight to him. Running towards the ropes Shuriken jumps and springboards off of the tope rope and hits a four-fifty rotation before landing hard on Ma$$' with a dangerous looking body press.

#SHU-RI-SHU-RI

Chuck: Yep. Shuriken Blade just showed why he's the best in the world right there.

Shuriken gets to his feet and slides back into the ring.

Ma$$ slowly get to his feet.

Shuriken once again leaps onto the top rope and springboards towards Ma$$, this time with a flying kick.

Ma$$ somehow has enough sense to avoid the oncoming kick, and shoulder barges Shuriken into the ringside barrier as soon as Shuriken has landed. He follows up with with a boot to the midsection and a snapping DDT onto the ringside mat.

#HolyOuch

Rock: Oh my hero! That's the way to start a match!

Shuriken Blade rolls onto his back and puts his hand to his head. He pulls his hand away and it becomes clear that he is bleeding from the eyebrow area.
Ma$$ shows no remorse, and jumps up onto the ringside barrier and hits a picture perfect moonsault.

Rock: Ma$$ault!!!

Ma$$ springs to his feet and stomps hard twice on Shurikens chest, before walking up the ringsteps and getting into the ring. The fans are relentless with their booing. Once Ma$$ is in the middle of the ring, he takes a moment to take a look around at the fans in the world famous Madison Garden and takes in their jeers, boos, and cheers alike. He responds in kind and flips them all the bird. Out of the corner of his eye, he catches sight of Shuriken rolling back into the ring.

Shuriken rises to his feet and walks towards Ma$$.

Chuck: Here we go folks.

[Kashdinero]

Chuck: Here we go folks.

Ma$$ surprises Shuriken by extending his arm and offering a handshake.

Shuriken adopts a look of disgust. He turns to the crowd to further express his disgust.
Taking advantage of Shurikens slight lapse in concentration, Ma$$ catches Shuriken with a decisive and powerful lightning fast slap to the side of his head, dazing him slightly. He follows up by surprisingly unleashing his finishing move--a deadly right hand punch using a technique his uncle taught him.

Rock: "MY FRIEND WENT TO LONDON AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS BLOOD STAINED T-SHIRT!", this one is over already! Quick, Ma$$, make the cover!!

The referee drops to his knees as Ma$$ covers Shuriken, hooking both legs for leverage.

"On-"

Chuck: Oh my god, that wasn't even a one count!

Ma$$ gets to his feet, a look of surprise--composing himself quickly, he once again strikes Shuriken in the face with his finishing punch.

Rock: "MY FRIEND WENT TO LONDON AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS BLOOD STAINED T-SHITRT!" Again!!! Cover him again Ma$$!!

Ma$$ once again covers Shuriken, again hooking both legs to gain extra leverage.

"One!

Two!!

Thre-"

Chuck: Holy wow, that was close!! Shuriken felt that one for sure.

Rock: I don't know how he even kicked out to be honest, but either way, after that sick DDT on the floor outside and two of the best from Ma$$' right fist, Shurikens gotta be out of it right now. He's just absorbed enough punishment to give anyone a concusion.

Ma$$ gets to his feet and watches as a dazed Shuriken struggles to his hands and knees before swinging his boot right into his face, causing his head to snap back.


Shuriken slumps back down to the mat.

Ma$$ begins stomping on the back of his head before dragging him to his feet, and nailing him with a crushing T-Bone suplex.

Rock: Ma$$Plex!!


Ma$$ goes for the cover again.


"One!

Two!!

Thr-"


Chuck: Shuriken kicks out again. He's showing a lot of heart right now after this early beat down.

Ma$$ shows no emotion as he gets to his feet and begins stomping on his downed opponent. He
then places one foot on his chest, and pushes off with all his might to launch himself into the air, before coming down hard with a crushing elbowdrop.


He repeats the same elbow drop and again makes the cover.

"One!

Two!!

Th-!"


Chuck: It'll take more than a couple of elbow drops to put Shuriken down.

Rock: Ma$$ is just making him work, Chuck.

Before he get a chance to get to his feet, Ma$$ grabs Shuriken in an armbar.

Shuriken reverses the hold almost as soon as it's aplied, and locks on a leg grapevine with lightning fast speed.

Ma$$ lets out a howl of pain as he is brought down fast. He struggles for a few seconds, but manages to pull himself towards the ropes.

Shuriken refuses to let go and the referee begins to count in order for him to break the hold.

"One!

Two!!

Three!!!

Four!!!!

Fiv-"

Shuriken breaks the hold at the very last second.


Chuck: Shuriken is showing his mean streak now, Rock.


Rock: I've always doubted this guys integrity. Much like how Ma$$ brings his Ma$$ive with him
and pulls out guns, Shuri's "honorable man gimmick" is purely for show.

Ma$$ pulls himself outside of the ring and tries to walk off the pain in his leg. After a second or two he jumps back on the apron, but Shuriken meets him with a running elbow, stunning him.


Ma$$ holds onto the ropes to steady himself.

Shuriken swiftly jumps over the top rope and joins Ma$$ on the apron. One swift kick to the midsection later and Shurken has Ma$$ in a front facelock. He then grabs Ma$$' right arm and drapes it over his own neck, and with death defying speed, he lifts and drops Ma$$ on the back of his head with a skull rattling brainbuster.

Chuck: Oh my god, he could have killed him!!


Rock: Somebody needs to check on Ma$$ right now!

The referee checks on Ma$$ but Shuriken pushes him away and drags Ma$$ into the ring and makes the cover.


"One!

Two!!

Thre-"

Rock: Oooh, that was close! I can't believe that Ma$$ kicked out of that one! What a legend!

Chuck: There's only one legend in that ring, and it isn't Ma$$.