Nothing screams "pre-show freebie" like watching a bald, tattooed, fat man in a pageboy cap dancing the Gangnam Style.
While we may never know what was inside the bucket of Ricardo Rodriguez, one thing is certain: that bucket sells better than both the Spanish announce table, the Miz TV couch, and Dolph Ziggler combined.
Antonio Cesaro is now regrettably unable to bear children. The obliteration to his testicles by The Miz is beyond repair. We will have more details as they come in.
Jack Swagger became the number one contender for the World Heavyweight Championship at WrestleMania 29. Not a single fuck was given that day.
Ryback was hungry. Ryback was hungry for a long time. Ryback wanted to finally feed on The Sheild. Ryback once again became The Sheild's bitch. Ryback abruptly lef the ring. Fuck it. Ryback went to Wendy's.
Cameron wants Tensai's dick. Oh it's true. It's damn true.
AJ Lee showed up. A five-star pay-per-view just lost a star. My dick also went soft.
Dolph Ziggler can squeak out victories over Kofi Kingston, but only with repeated help from two other people. Ladies and gentlemen, your next World Heavyweight Champion.
Kaitlyn and Tamina had a match. Wish I could say more but I was taking a dump.
A gassed-out version of The Rock "overcame the odds" and defeated CM Punk. No referees were harmed during the making of that garbage main-event. On a positive note, we did get to see The Rock do his best impression of Brock Lesnar's dance.
While we may never know what was inside the bucket of Ricardo Rodriguez, one thing is certain: that bucket sells better than both the Spanish announce table, the Miz TV couch, and Dolph Ziggler combined.
Antonio Cesaro is now regrettably unable to bear children. The obliteration to his testicles by The Miz is beyond repair. We will have more details as they come in.
Jack Swagger became the number one contender for the World Heavyweight Championship at WrestleMania 29. Not a single fuck was given that day.
Ryback was hungry. Ryback was hungry for a long time. Ryback wanted to finally feed on The Sheild. Ryback once again became The Sheild's bitch. Ryback abruptly lef the ring. Fuck it. Ryback went to Wendy's.
Cameron wants Tensai's dick. Oh it's true. It's damn true.
AJ Lee showed up. A five-star pay-per-view just lost a star. My dick also went soft.
Dolph Ziggler can squeak out victories over Kofi Kingston, but only with repeated help from two other people. Ladies and gentlemen, your next World Heavyweight Champion.
Kaitlyn and Tamina had a match. Wish I could say more but I was taking a dump.
A gassed-out version of The Rock "overcame the odds" and defeated CM Punk. No referees were harmed during the making of that garbage main-event. On a positive note, we did get to see The Rock do his best impression of Brock Lesnar's dance.



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