Originally Posted by KJ PUNK
Hawk: In case you haven't noticed, I am a one man show. I don't need you to help me get ratings, you just attract that bottom demographic of viewers who are jealous of me because they lead shit lives. But with that said it's time for another show on JBTV....
*Hawk snaps his fingers and a camera crew comes to the back and starts filming.
Hawk: Welcome to the JBTV shopping network, the only place you can buy the hottest wrestling merchandise for great prices, hosted by the star of JBTV, your Television Champion, me, Mike Hawk. Now are first item today is an autographed poster of me winning the TV title. As you can see it's nicely framed and looks great above any fireplace. Now as I see we have a lot of calls already, I must inform you that there are only 100 and they are priced at $400, a steal for such a historic item so order now before you loved one hates you for not getting them a great present.
Now our next item is a replica TV title belt so now all your little ones can get one step to emulating the only TV hero who is a badass on and off the screen, Mike Hawk. As a bonus, I went ahead and put my name plate on the titles and the first 1000 callers who buy this $100 piece get a free Mike Hawk action figure. Christmas comes early here on the JBTV shopping network.