JBW's official show thread

**Kashdinero** · 04-22-2012, 07:26 AM

The Camera pan's away to show a homemade video of strange man, on a field. The man looks around 300lbs and 7ft tall. He paces around for a few seconds, before staring straight into the camera
　
　
Extraterrestrial: Let me tell you all something. ET has arrived here in J-B-W! But I don't like Jabe. I don't even respect Jabe or it's history. You wanna know why? Well, there's only 1 thing human twats want to know and that, is whether Aliens exist. You are all probably thinking "Oh, this man thinks he's not Human, blah blah blah" Well I'm different. I am a Human. My Brain, is the same as your brain. My liver was exactly like all of your livers, but that was before you had a touch of precious alcohol. Your hearts, would be like my heart, if only I didn't sell mine for clothes, in my moment of need. It's my Soul that's different. My Soul... my soul... my soul doesn't belong to me. I used to be normal, well, what you consider normal. But when you crash and burn. You change. I changed. I was an average joe, well except I was called Ben. I had a normal life. I was straight edge, I had a family. You want to know where they are now, well there dead now, so don't worry about them. I had a job. But one day, when I was at a train station down to Cornwall, England. Something possessed me. Something made me push some pedestrians infront of the train. Something forced me, to divert the train tracks to send the train into a wall. Something forced me, to go home, and abuse my wife and kids, until they were just a memory. It's not my fault
　
　
Extraterrestrials - is what possessed me that day. When I was homeless, Extraterrestrials helped me back to the top. When I destroyed my families existence, Extraterrestrials helped me realized not all was bad. So when they told me, to join JBW, they said I had to do it, for one reason, and that reason, is a choice. That choice, is completly my own - it's pure. I have to choose, which humans to save, and which humans to be terrorized and murdered. Extraterrestrials has promised me, that that choice will be completly my own, if I took their name, and if I joined JBW. Apparently joining JBW would amount to meeting more people, having more fates decided, in the palm of my hand. So I have arrived. If you saw EWA Carnage!, you would've seen I desintergrated Zack Silver - just like that (Clicks Fingers). A Crash Landing Samoan Drop through a table, and he was history. I heard he had to take a leave of absence after that. That is the fate, of everyone in JBW.
　
　
But tonight, I am in a triple threat tag team match, at the Warfare Draft Special. I don't know, nor do I care, who my partner is. Just remember, Jay - Be - Dub, whether you are Shining Light, whether you are Rob Rage, whether you are Alpha Dog, even if you're The Sandman,, no matter what happens. Extraterrestrial will be coming for you!
　
*
　
Pat: OK, folks, that was Dingo Mac, and Extraterrestrial, but up next we have another team in the triple threat tag match featuring all newcomers here to Jabe. Well, one half of them, anyway.
　
*

The JabeTron shows a wild looking scene in an extremely packed nightclub. The camera begins to pan through the crowd, and stops on a huge looking bouncer standing just outside of the VIP area.

He looks into the camera, winks, and welcomes the camera, and the viewers at home and in the arena, into the less chaotic, and more glamourous, VIP area.

The camera pans around and we catch sight of many scantily clad ladies dancing, drinking, and generally having a good time. The camera focuses in on a particularly gorgeous looking lady, but continues to pan just over her shoulder, where we see a gaggle of beauties sitting on a lavish leather sofa. Sitting right in the middle of the group sits a very happy and drunk looking "Red Hot" Istvan Gretzky.

He is talking on his Android Nexus..

"Red Hot" Istvan Gretzky: WHAT, KURWA?!?! What you meaning you not going to teaming up with greatest catch-as-catch-can-grapples-champion to step out of all of Eastern Europe?!?

...

Ahh, Istvan has no time for wasters of time, kurwa! If Spence Churcher wants to leave Istvan dry and high on his debut match in BJW, then Istvan will fight Dingus Mac, ExtraTesticle, and Black Panther Division all on his own, kurwa!!! Istvan no need English Churcher to watch his back, for Istvan is strong as ten village ox, and Istvan will crush them all with VASCULAR ARMS MADE FROM FALLEN STAR, KURWA!!

...

Yes, kurwa, there is many many American womens here in nightclub, but just like Istvan will be doing on his debut in BJW, Istvan will take them all on by himself, kurwa! Istvan will shake a leg with American womens and make them scream Istvans name with VASCULAR COCK MADE FROM FALLEN STAR, KURWA!!

..

Yes, kurwa... It is your loss. Do Widenzia, Spence Churcher.. Maybe another time.

Istvan turns to the camera, and beckons for it to leave him alone.

As the camera pans out we see Istvan bury his face in the cleavage of a particularly busty looking lady sat to his left.See more
　
*
　
Sly: Well, people, appears that Istvan is going to go it alone here tonigh. Gotta admire his gu-
　
Straight from Berlin, Germany- the Panzer Division

　
Quagmire: Well, it looks like we're about to be introduced to nthe newest tag team here in JBW. Surely these guys have got to be the favourites to win this thing here tonight.
　
Karl and Oli Panzer make their way to the ring, beers in hand, ask for and receive mics.

Karl: Well, well, Oli we finally made it to biggest motherfucking wrestling federation around- JBW. Feels great doesn’t it?

Oli: Hell yeah, and its about damn time too.

Karl and Oli crack open their beers and down them in record time and toss the cans out to the crowd

Karl: How rude of us, we forgot to introduce ourselves- I’m Karl Panzer and this is my brother Oli. Together we are the best fucking team in this sport- The Panzer Division, and we’ve beat them all. And yes, we know that doesn’t mean shit here as we have to prove to JBW brass and the fucking fans why we are a step above all the pathetic tag teams here. But hey, it’s all in fun. Just line the losers up in front of us and we will do what we do best- kick ass, break bones and end careers.

Oli: Much too our surprise, management understands that. They gave us not only one team to go against, but two. Some idiot named Istvan Gretzky and some bloody Brit named Spencer Churchill on one team. If there is one thing I hate- it’s a Brit and God dammit anybody with the last name Churchill. I blame our grandparent’s deaths on three people- fucking Hitler, fucking Roosevelt and that motherfucking Winston Churchill.

Karl: Fucking Churchill, I'm gonna rip his fucking head off. Anyways, the other team is composed of Extraterrestrial and our good friend Dingo Mac. I have no fucking idea what this Extraterrestrial is all about- the only thing I’ve seen him do is attack some lil shit after a match and take him backstage where he probably had his way with him- fucking freak. And then we got the Dingo Mac- one of the only guys who can drink as much as us, well as much as me- sorry Oli, but you’re a lightweight. But tonight- its all about business- friendship doesn’t mean shit in the ring. We’re in it to win and like I said earlier, no matter who brass puts in front of us, we will take em out. We are here to prove to all that we are the best, all others pale in comparison. So lets get this on- send out Dingo and the rest of the pussies.

**Kashdinero** · 04-22-2012, 07:52 AM

"Red Hot" Istvan Gretzky
　

　
Quagmire: I've heard and seen nothing but great things from Isty Baby, and he is definitely a man after my own heart when it comes to the ladies.
　
Peter: I like that I kinda can't understand him when he speaks because I get the feeling he's talking crap anyway.
　
The lights begin to dim, and then fully go out.
　
A spotlight shines down onto the stage, highlighting an extremely muscular arm. The arm begins flexing, accenuating how vascular it is.
　
A second spotlight shines down a foot or two away from the first one and a second vascular looking arm is highlighted, also flexing away as if it were independent of the body attatched to it.
　
The spotlights extend, and then become one, revealing Istvan Gretzky... "Red Hot" Istvan Gretzky.
　
The spotlight follows him as he makes his way down the ramp, makes his way up the steps, and gets into the ring with a smile on his face. He raises his hands and the lights come on. A small "lets go Istvan" chant starts.
　
Peter: Well, the fans seem to love him... Maybe I'm wrong about Istvan. He's already won points by coming out here on his own, but that reeks of "Istvans doing the job tonight.".. Lets see if he can win us over with his performance here tonight.
　
Extraterrestrial.
　

　
Larry: Now, this guy is from planet weirdsville, no doubt about it, but, mark my words, you don't wanna mess with a guy that is near seven foot tall. Dingo Mac can make fun of him all he wants, but at the end of the day, there is a good chance that ET has a bigger penis than him.
　
Joe: What the hell?!? Good god, man, you're just as derranged as Extraterrestrial.
　
Peter: Are you trying to say he's not a real alien?
　
Joe: Yes, Peter, that's exactly what I'm saying.
　
Peter: Are you kidding me? First it was Zeus, and now it's ET. I'm telling you all here that ET is a real alien from a real different planet with a real spaceship. And I bet he's got a death ray... And a lightsabre. Well, maybe not a lightsabre, but for sure he's got a death ray.
　
Extraterrestrial slowly makes his way down the ramp to a chorus of boo's. He steps over the top rope, and stare's hard at his opponents, who are clearly unsure as how to take him.
　
Dingo Mac.
　
www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6oAFlPLGA8
　
Dingo runs out onto the stage to a booming ovation. The JBW fans are versed in all of the happenings on the Indy scene, and are fully aware of how good Dingo is--they let him know they approve of his arrival in JBW. He has his pet Koala with him, and is looking like he is enjoying walking out in front of aa JBW crowd for the first time.
　
Peter: If I was Australian, I'd want to be Dingo freaking Mac! Did you know that this guy once killed two crocs with his bare hands? He once stayed out in the outback living on nothing but Fosters for eight months.
　
Pat: Wow, thats a lot of Fosters.
　
Once Dingo is in the ring he gets in his partners face and the two exchange words.
　
Gregory Samuels: Ladies and gentelmen. may I take this time to welcome the five men standing in the ring to JBW. Lets give them a hearty warm Jabe reception.
　
The fans cheer for the newcomers.
　

**Kashdinero** · 04-22-2012, 07:58 AM

Last edited by Kashdinero; 04-22-2012 at 08:16 AM.

**Kashdinero** · 04-22-2012, 08:04 AM

Istvan counters the clothesline from Dingo, spins around Dingo, and hits Dingo with a DDT. Dingo and Istvan are both laying in the middle of the ring.

Pat: Istvan has been doing great in this match by himself but he has also taken a lot of punishment. He needs to make a tag.

Istvan reluctantly heads towards The Panzer Divisions corner. Oli and Karl both have their hands outstretched. Istvan gets to them and tags in Karl. Karl gets in and starts punching Dingo

Pat: Karl of Panzer Division, the team which is heading to Warfare, is on the attack.

Karl hits Dingo with a dropkick that is hard enough to send Dingo crashing to the outside. In comes the massive Extraterrestrial, and he grabs Karl by the throat. Oli quickly gets on the turnbuckle and jumps towards ET, but is caught by the throat as well. Both Karl and Oli quickly kick ET in the mid section, kick him behind his knees making him fall to his knees, and then they both wrap their arms around his head and hit a double ddt. The fans are cheering Panzer Division on as they rally the crowd. Suddenly, Istvan and Dingo come from behind them and attack. All four men trade punches, Oli on Istvan and Karl on Dingo. Oli is able to back Istvan into a corner and hits Istvan with a kick that staggers Istvan. Oli goes to help Karl until ET suddenly appears and hits Oli with a vicious clothesline that makes Oli spin in the air.

Dudley: Hey Peter. Wasn't that where you usually say "Bam, right in the kisser"?

Peter: It would feel an understatement.

ET suddenly grabs Karl from behind and holds him for Dingo. Dingo goes for the punch but Karl quickly gets free and moves out of the way, making Dingos punch hit ET instead. ET looks straight at Dingo afterwards with rage in his face and hits Dingo with a vicious right

Dudley: Anything Peter?

Peter: Bam! Right in the kisser!

Dingo is staggering back and forth before Karl runs in and dropkicks ET towards the ropes. ET is leaning against the ropes when Istvan runs at him and hits ET with a flying cross body, making both men crash to the ringside area leaving Dingo laying in the middle of the ring with both members of Panzer Division. Both Karl and Oli head to opposite ends of the ring and climb the turnbuckles across from each other. They point to each other and then jump off. Karl hits a sick elbow drop at the same time as Oli hits a picture perfect leg drop on Dingo. The fans erupt at the impact before Karl makes the pin to get the three count

Pat: Panzer Division picks up an impressive victory in what was an equally impressive match.

Sly: It's a shame we are not getting them two on SHOWDOWN!, but Dingo, Istvan, and Extraterrestrial should definitely suffice.

Joe: I have to give credit to Istvan. He came into this match alone, but definitely stood his ground. Impressive.
　
Pat: Wait a minute…I’m being told we have a situation developing back stage. Let’s get cameras back there.

**Kashdinero** · 04-22-2012, 08:28 AM

Backstage is shown as a cameraman is running through the halls towards the sounds of men fighting. He finally gets to his location and finds Brick "The Godslayer", Icarus, Zeus Apollo, and The Prophecy going at it.

Peter: Holy crap!!!

Brick is punching Zeus on the ground while Icarus and Proph are trading punches. Brick picks up Zeus and tries to slam him in to a wall, but Zeus counters and throws Brick into the wall instead. Zeus starts punching Brick as the camera goes towards Proph kicking Icarus in the mid section. Proph grabs Icarus by the head and leads him towards a table with program guides littered on top of it. Proph goes to slam Icarus’ head on it. Icarus slams his hands on the table, stopping is head from smashing into the it, elbows Proph in the gut, and then slams Prophs head onto the table. Icarus then leads Proph towards a door that says "Womens Restroom" and throws him through it. A womans scream is heard as the camera goes back towards Zeus stomping on a grounded Brick. Zeus goes and grabs a chair and hits Brick in the back with it. It doesn’t phase Brick one bit. Zeus goes for another swipe when Brick punches the chair out of Zeus’ hands. Brick then gets up and clotheslines Zeus to the floor. Brick picks up Zeus and leads him down the hall. The camera goes back towards the womens restroom. Proph is slamming the restroom door into Icarus’ chest. Icarus stops the door and punches Proph, giving Icarus a moment to get away from the door. Proph quickly follows Icarus with a kendo stick and hits Icarus in the back with it. Icarus falls to a knee and Proph hits him with it over and over again with it. Proph throws the stick to the side and picks up Icarus. He leads Icarus over to a curtain. Proph punches Icarus and Icarus stumbles back through the curtain and the audience blows up

Dudley: Well, the fight has made it out here. This has been epic!

*The camera switches to show Brick and Zeus have made it to the arena area and they are fighting through the crowd. They’ve both been busted open. They are at the upper area of the audience seating and fighting above one of the truck entrances. Below them, there are tables set up. Zeus and Brick are trading punches near the edge of the top of the truck entrance and get closer and closer to the edge. Zeus gains the upper hand and punches Brick one more time. Brick nearly loses his balance but quickly regains his footing. Zeus then runs to tackle Brick, but Bricks sturdy form stops the tackle. Brick then grabs Zeus by the throat, lifts him over the edge of the truck entrance, and throws him down off the top of the truck entrance through the tables below*

Peter: HOLY CRAP!!!

Pat: I can’t believe what I have just seen! We need paramedics over there right now!

Joe: I SHOULD ARREST THAT SON OF A BITCH RIGHT NOW!! THAT IS PRATICALLY ATTEMPTED MURDER!!!

Larry: You just saw that man throw somebody off of a ledge and your crippled ass wants to go and arrest him. Are you sure you brain isn’t crippled too?

Joe: DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON YOU ZYBYSCO!! I COULD ARREST YOU RIGHT NOW FOR TONIGHT ALONE!!
　

Paramedics are shown checking on Zeus Apollo before the camera switches to the stage where The Prophecy and Icarus are still fighting. They continue fighting down the ramp until Icarus gets the upper hand and throws Proph back first into some steel steps. Brick is shown walking around to the side of the ring where Icarus is. Brick and Icarus talk among themselves for a moment to decide what to do with Proph. Suddenly Brick grabs Proph, picks him up into a fall away slam position, and drives Proph back first into a steel ring post and then throws him into the ring. Brick and Icarus look under the ring for a few moments before Icarus pulls out a chair and Brick pulls out a sledgehammer. Icarus climbs onto the apron and stands there for a moment, laughing with Brick. Suddenly Proph stands up and dropkicks Icarus off of the apron into Brick. Proph then quickly climbs up the turnbuckle. Icarus stands up, still with chair in hand, before Proph leaps off the turnbuckle. Icarus quickly puts the chair in front of him as if to protect himself from whatever’s coming, but is fiercely hit by his own chair when Proph hits it with a flying front dropkick. After connecting, Proph hits his head hard on the protective matting and Icarus appears to be knocked out. The fans are yelling, "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!" Brick is trying to get back up when the camera switches to show commotion in the audience. Another camera gets in closer to reveal that Zeus Apollo is making his way to ring side.

Quagmire: HOW THE HELL?!!

Sly: Zeus Apollo should be dead after what Brick did to him, not walking around.

Paramedics are following Zeus, trying to get him to stop only to be pushed away by Zeus. Zeus jumps over the barricade and runs into the ring. Brick is nearly to his feet when Zeus runs towards the side of the ring that Brick is on and jumps completely over the ropes, hitting Brick with a flying cross body. After landing, Zeus gets on top of Brick and starts punching him. Brick hits Zeus with a rake to the eyes, allowing him time to get to his feet. Zeus attempts to attack Brick again only to be pushed back first into the apron. Brick attempts to slam his body into Zeus, but Zeus quickly moves out of the way making Brick hit into the apron. Brick grabs his midsection as he tries to make some space between him and Zeus by running towards the ramp. Zeus follows and attacks Brick from behind. They start trading punches heading up the ramp and onto the stage. Brick suddenly grabs the head of Zeus and throws him face first into the JabeTron structure. Both men are showing their exhaustion as they try to get up. They both get to their feet before Zeus suddenly yells and jets straight at Brick, tackling Brick making them both fly off the stage. Screams are heard through the audience as both men slam into the concrete.*

Pat: I can’t believe what we have seen. These four men have completely destroyed each other and themselves.

The fans are yelling, "THAT WAS AWESOME!!! THAT WAS AWESOME!!!" with claps in between while paramedics check on all four men　

Joe: Ladies and gentlemen, that was four participants in tonights Gold Rush Rumble that I highly doubt will be participating. No, folks, after witnessing what we have, I don't think anyone could top that right now, so we'll have to just settle with a good old fashioned squash match.

**Kashdinero** · 04-23-2012, 06:11 AM

The Two Steves VS Armageddon UK

The Two Steves
　

Greggory Samuels: Introducing first, Steve Austin and Steve Orton…THE TWO STEVES!!!

Pat: These two don’t have the best win/loss record. Maybe they can change their luck teaming up.

Sly: Yeah…ask PrimusSux and GodOfWar about that.

Dudley: Well, them two sucked beyond recognition.

Peter: These guys aren’t much better and seeing what their competition is…saying they stand a chance is like saying chocolate and caramel goes well together.

Therest of commentary: ….
　
Peter: What? It doesn't!

A-UK
　

Greggory Samuels: And there opponents, from the United Kingdom, Rob Rage and Connor Chaos…APOCALYPSE UK

Pat: I am really looking forward to seeing what this team has to bring to the mix. Both of them are great singles competitors. I can only imagine what they are going to bring to the tag team division.

Larry: They’re overrated. Good old JRs balls are more talented than them and I should know.
Joe: You are very sick individual Larry.

Larry: Shut up limp dick!

Joe: I would prefer that you don’t talk to me anymore. Anyway, I’m looking forward to this match as well. AUK, just on paper, shows a lot of promise.

Sly: Well I guess we’re about to find out because the match is underway.

(Ignore past 7:27)

Connor Chaos clotheslines Steve Orton out of the ring, leaving only the legal man of The Two Steves, Steve Austin, against Rob Rage. Steve attempts to clothesline Rob, Rob ducks it, Steve bounces off the ropes, and Rob catches him and delivers a powerful powerslam. Rob calls over Connor while picking up Steve. They both pick Steve up over their heads in a military press and slam him down hard with a double chokeslam.

Pat: What a powerful move! I hear they call that The Catalysm!

Rob makes the pin as Connor goes and stops Steve Orton from getting into the ring. The ref counts three before the fans cheer for AUK

Joe: THAT WAS AN AWESOME VICTORY FOR AUK!!! AWESOME!

Dudley: They were impressive but put them against a team that is actually capable of wrestling and…

Sly: Speaking of that, look at who’s behind them.

While AUK is celebrating their victory, two men come up behind them and attack.

Dudley: Is that who I think it is?

Peter: No Dudley! It isn’t Macaulay Culkin and Chillian Murphy!

Dudley: What? I mean it’s Markus and Hanz Beerstein!

Sly: The Beersteins are back in JBW and they obviously have their focus on AUK.

Both Hanz and Markus are stomping on Connor and Rob. Markus suddenly runs out the ring and grabs a cooler that was sitting by the ring bell. Markus opens it up and pulls out a bottle of beer. He tells Hanz to hold Connor up. Hanz does so as Markus opens the bottle of beer and starts chugging. Once it’s about half empty, he stops drinking it and then smashes the bottle over Connors head. Hanz tells Markus to hold up Rob and Hanz repeats the same process on Rob. Markus then pulls out two bottles of beer and throws one to Hanz. They open the bottles and pour the beer on Connor and Robs faces. Markus closes the cooler and him and Hanz make their way backstage.
　
Pat: Get them out of here! I'm over the moon that Markus and Hans are back, but they just took things a little too far there. They'll have hell to pay when Rage and Chaos get their hands on them.
　
Dudley: Well I thought that was vintage Beerstien! Welcome back guys! I think you're a much better German tag team than those Panzer pussies. After you've taken out AUK, I think Oli and Karl need a little talking to.
　
Pat: Wait a minute, I'm getting word that RomanFlare has something to say concerning the four way for the unification title match tonight. Lets go backstage.

**Kashdinero** · 04-23-2012, 06:30 AM

Butters: I'm Roland Butters standing backstage with the Masked Wonder, RomanFlare. Rome, both K-Jammin and Jman have said they're going to be the unified champion--any words for them.

Rome: Roland, I've only got two words for them--No. Way. You see Roland, I've got a contract. Like your's, this contract has clauses. But where your contract says you must wear that god-awful toupee, my clause has a specific stipulation for this match. One. Stipulation. And it's very important, something that K-jammin and Jman apparently didn't get the memo on. You see, only the Roman One is going to leave here tonight the unified Champion. Only the Roman One CAN leave here tonight the unified champion. It says, right there in the contract, that this is a title defense for Jman and K-Jammin, but a title match for me. You know what that means? If K-Jammin or Jman win, they walk out with their title. That's it. But if I win, I walk out with both. Only the Roman One can win and unify the titles! And that's exactly what I will do.
　
Sly: There you have it folks, only Roman can unify the titles here tonight. If my hero Caesar wins, he'll get to stay the SHOWDOWN! Heavyweight Champion, but if my other hero, Roman, wins, he'll be a wrestling god.
　
Quagmire: Ka$h would never book it. Anyway, it's time for the reason I came here tonight..
　
Eight Bombshell Tag Team Match

Greggory Samuels: Introducing first, THE TEAM OF KATIE, SELENA, AYAKO, AND NIKKI BELZOVAAAA!!!!

Quagmire: Oh this is what I’m going to miss most, especially watching Selena walking to the ring. DAMN YOU ALPHA DOG!!!

Larry: You could always sniff The Alpha Dogs fingers. I know I do.

Joe: The Alpha Dog let’s you do that?

Larry: He doesn’t know I do it. Surprisingly, he is actually very easy to sneak up on. I sniff is ass too. He’s very rude when it comes to that. He doesn’t sniff my ass to say hello back. Isn’t that a dogs way of saying hello?

Pat: You disgusting human being. Anyway, this team is being lead by the Bombshell Champion Nikki Belzova. To anybody who hasn’t seen her in action, you are in for a treat.

Dudley: Look at what Katies wearing. She’s actually wearing red, white, and blue and there’s an American flag on the back of her top and she’s acting cheery. What the hell happened to her during the break?

Larry: She must have gotten fucked by Uncle Sam.

Belladonna and the rest of her team walk out on stage

Peter: Weird…Belladonna is leading this team. I thought that she was just window dressing for The Prophecy.

Quagmire: I actually heard that she broke off from The Prophecy. She’s walking out here with a lot of confidence. I wonder why?

Pat: Same here. She isn’t exactly known for her ability in the ring. I mean, from what I’ve seen she isn’t a bad wrestler per say, but I wouldn’t compare her to Nikki.

Bella turns to the stage entrance and waves for somebody to come out…

Sly: Oh my god…that’s Ragnarok. No wonder why she’s confident. I would be too if I had that monster on my side.

Greggory Samuels: And their opponents, being accompanied to the ring by Ragnarok, THE TEAM OF TRACEY, SASHA, AL QAEDA RASHIDA, AND BELLADONNAAA!!!

Dudley: Seriously, that’s like having ten average sized wrestlers in your corner. She’s a genius.

Larry: I just got a boner…

Quagmire: Me too, but not from Ragnarok. Sasha and Tracey look amazing tonight.

Joe: Did I ever tell you Quagmire that you have low standards? Those two have been thrown around the locker room more times than you have in a strip club.

Quagmire: I don’t care what you say Joe. I still think that Tracey and Sasha are the best Bombshells in JBW. Maybe BellaDonna too.

Sly: Ok guys. That’s enough jerking off to the ladies. Let’s commentate this match.

**Kashdinero** · 04-23-2012, 06:36 AM

(Ignore past 4:36)

Quagmire: The ref has lost control of this match. I love it when this happens.

Joe: Pervert…

All eight women are going at it in the ring. Tracey is fighting with Selena, Sasha is fighting with Ayako, Al Qaeda Rashid is fighting with Katie, and Nikki is fighting with Bella. The ref calls for the bell and rules the match a no contest. While the other six women are fighting, Bella pushes Nikki away from her, giving her enough time to get out of the ring. Nikki quickly follows and chases after her. Ragnarok then steps in front of Bella and Nikki runs into Ragnarok making her fall back. Nikki quickly stands up and looks up at the massive monster. Ragnarok then slowly starts walking towards Nikki.
　
Pat: Whats Ragnarok doing? he can't get involved in this.
　
Nikki walks back as Ragnarok gets closer and closer. Nikki suddenly gets a determined look on her face and starts punching Ragnarok in the stomach. The punches are not phasing him. Bella is shown laughing behind Ragnarok. Nikki gets desperate and then kicks Ragnarok in his lower regions. Nikki has a surprised look when she realizes that didn’t work either

Joe: RUN NIKKI RUN!!!

Out of panic, Nikki punches at Ragnaroks face, but Ragnarok catches her fist. He holds on to it while Bella pokes his arm and he leans to allow her to whisper something in his ear. When she’s done whispering, he suddenly looks at Nikki and with his other hand, he quickly grabs her by the throat

Pat: NO NO THIS CAN’T HAPPEN!!!

Pat stands up, takes off his headset, runs to Ragnarok, and tries to pry his hand off of Nikkis’ throat. He’s rewarded with a hard push by Ragnarok. Bella is heard yelling, "DO IT!! DO IT!!" Ragnarok then looks toward the Mayhem table, lifts Nikki high in the air by the throat…

Dudley: (yells at himself) MOVE DUDLEY MOVE!!!

Ragnarok then slams Nikki right through the Mayhem commentator table. Screams are heard through the audience and the rest of the commentators are speechless. Zapphoman is shown running towards the table to check on Nikki. Zapph starts yelling for paramedics. He then stands and yells at Bella, "IN MY OFFICE NOW!!!" He looks at Ragnarok, "YOU TOO!!" He sees the paramedics haven’t gotten to Nikki yet

Zap: WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE PARAMEDICS?!!

The Bombshells who were part of Nikkis team come down to check on her, while Belladonna and her team are walking up the ramp. BellaDonna is walking backwards, laughing while watching the situation.

Quagmire: I'd be totally lying if I said that didn't turn me on just a little bit.

Larry: Ahh, I'm sure Nikki will be back to normal in no time. Remember, people, you can't keep a good woman down... Unless you hold her head with two hands of course.

Quagmire: If I didn't hate you I think we could be good friends.
　
Pat: OK, folks, I'm now getting word that there is quite the scene unfolding backstage involving a few of the more, um, Horrorcore types we have here at JBW.

**Kashdinero** · 04-23-2012, 06:41 AM

With such an insane Draft night already underway, the camera crew makes their way to the back because the Horrorcore guys are NOT being let in again this week. As the crew gets close, WARFare President Zap Alderman is standing behind no less than twenty armed guards using a bullhorn.
　
Zap: "YOU ARE NOT COMING IN!! REGARDLESS OF HOW MUCH YOU HUFF AND PUFF!
　
Nightwolf is pacing the corridor while Chainsaw, Macabre and Butcher are standing face to face with the guards. Samson, HATE and the rest are hanging back awaiting what to do.
　
Nightwolf: "I think I speak for all of my… brothers here. You CANNOT keep us out of the show. Most of us are ON this show! We demand access!!"
　
The Horrorcore guys all start screaming and pushing up against the guards.
　
Zap: "ACTUALLY, NO!! YOU ARE NOT A PART OF WARFARE ANYMORE!! KA$H PERSONALLY DRAFTED YOU ALL TO MAYHEM AFTER TONIGHT!! HORRORCORE IS A MAYHEM EXCLUSIVE FROM NOW ON!!"
　
The guys back down a bit and look around at each other. Some confused and some happy. Chainsaw walks up again.
　
Chainsaw: "Well, what about Samson and I? Were in the damned Gold Rush Rumble tonight! Did our places get taken?? That’s BULLSHIT! I EARNED MY SPOT!!"[
　
Zap: "NO! YOU TWO DID NOT LOSE YOUR SPOTS! YOU GUYS ARE ALLOWED ENTRY INTO THE BUILDING ONCE THE REST OF THEM DEPART!"
　
He points to the rest of the Horrorcore guys and they look at Chainsaw and Samson. NightWolf nods his head and he motions for the rest of them to walk with him leaving only Chainsaw and Samson standing.
　
Samson: "Is this.. better you foul little fool?"
　
Zap: "YES! YES, IT IS!"
　
Chainsaw: "Stop it with the bullhorn already. You sound like a giant toolbag using it. Can you part your force field so we can get by? Because if not, I’ll make my way through."
　
Zap: "Empty threats get you nowhere Chainsaw, remember that. Let them through!"
　
He motions for the guards to let them in and they do. As they walk by they notice The Sandman standing behind the rest of the guards in the corridor. He’s got his Mayhem Heavyweight Television Championship around his waist as Chainsaw looks down at it. He walks up to him and looks him in the eyes.
　
Chainsaw: "Heh… looks like you’ll finally get what you wanted from the beginning of you getting here. Welcome to hell."
　
Chainsaw taps the faceplate of the Championship and The Sandman grabs his arm. Samson comes in close as The Sandman grips tighter.
　
The Sandman: "There’s nothing more I would love than to put you in your place Chainsaw… there is a time for everything though. And now is not it. You have doubt, pity and hatred. You’re no good right now. I do not wish to face a Chainsaw who is a former shell of who he was. You’re pathetic."
　
Chainsaw gets into The Sandman’s face, screams and backs away. Samson looks at The Sandman and backs up facing him. Through his gas mask The Sandman is smiling a deranged smile. He takes his Championship off, looks at it and puts it over his shoulder as the camera fades to black.
　
Pat: Well, it looks like you and I will have the honour of being the sole announcers for the reinvigorated Horrorcore Division, Dudley.

Dudley: Haha, good! I love seeing those guys beating the shit out of each other.

**Kashdinero** · 04-23-2012, 06:51 AM

Joe: Well, our next contest involves a person who lives a little on the darkside himself, his name is Azrael, and he is about to enter that ring and face his brother, and the man that broke his arm,HolyJose, and, guys, the loser is banned from WARFare.
　
Azrael vs HolyJose: Loser leaves WARFare.
　
Azrael.

Greggory Samuels: Introducing first, he is The Angel of Death…AZRAEL!!!

Joe: This should be an interesting match. Two brothers who have come to loathe each other are finally going to lock horns tonight.
　
Dudley: This rivalry has been going on for months now.

Pat: It all started when HolyJose betrayed his brother, something he has learned to do more and more.

Dudley: HJ felt Azrael was a burden, a weight that he was relieved to finally get off his shoulders. I actually agree with him.

Peter: I imagine everybody here feels the same about you Dudley Doo Rite.

HolyJose.
　

Greggory Samuels: And his opponent, he is a former JBW Warfare TV and Tag Team Champion….HOLYJOSE!!!

Dudley: Here is my favorite to win this match. HolyJose is going to show who the better brother is tonight.

Sly: I agree Dudley. HolyJose’s skill completely outshines his brother.

Larry: He also has the better collection of Backstreet Boys memorabilia.

Joe: Well I think HolyJose will get what’s coming to him right now.

Pat: Maybe quicker than he would like as the match is underway.
　

(Ignore past 7:34)

Dudley: HolyJose has been dominating this entire match. He has this match in the bag.

HolyJose looks to be setting up his finisher until…

Sly: OH SHIT!! I’m getting behind this chair. Protect me guys.
　
Joe: What is that loony bastard doing coming out here?

HolyJose looks to the stage and throws Azrael to the side. He gets ready for The Alpha Dog, but The Alpha Dog doesn’t appear. A few more moments go by and he still hasn’t shown up. HolyJose gets tired of waiting and turns around. Azrael meets him with a Sky High Sitout Powerbomb and gets the three count.

Dudley: WHAT?!! That’s not fair. HolyJose was distracted.

Peter: Distracted or distracted, Azrael got the victory over his "more talented" brother tonight.

HolyJose is in the ring furious. The Alpha Dog shows up on the stage pointing and laughing at HolyJose. He then pulls a mic out of his back pocket

Alpha: This doesn’t make you and The Alpha Dog even by a long shot…BUT IT’S A DAMN GOOD START!!!

Alpha drops the mic and leaves the stage while a furious HolyJose looks on.

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Thread: JBW's official show thread

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