Leonard Ray Beauregard is sitting in the back of his Redneck Express pickup truck, tossing back some cold ones, and staring at the JBW Southern Heavyweight Championship when new JBW Reporter Colin Hobert runs up with a camera man.
Colin Hobert: Lenny Ray, I have just received word that due to you heinous actions last week that JBW Board of Directors is willing to make a compromise with you. The Board of Directors has decided that they will officially sanction the JBW Southern Championship as a real title with a real title history, but your loss to Sleeper will stand. They are giving you a chance to "regain" your title. Anything to say to that?LRB: LOSS!?! LOSS?!? GOD DAMN...SON OF A...MOTHER... Lenny Ray takes a breath. You know what little man?
Lenny Ray grabs Hobert by the hair and drives his head into the dumpster nearby.
LRB: I’ll just go right out there and tell everyone what I got to fuckin’ say about this shit.
#HO-LEE-SHIT!-HO-LEE-SHIT!
Lenny Ray Bearegard
Lenny Ray’s Kick it in the Sticks theme hits as he doesn’t waste any time walking out to the ring carrying the newly sanctioned JBW Southern Championship with him. The paparazzi go into a frenzy at the sight of the gold.
Chuck: This guys the pits, Rock. He is a thief, and he has no place carrying that belt. I'm telling you, if The Sleeper didn't get fired, he would be right in this hillbillys face taking back what is rightfully his.
Rock: Haha, I hope LRB doesn't watch this show, because if he hears what you just said, he will surely strangle you to death, o'bro o' mine. This guy is the absolute toughest person in JBW, and the sooner management realizes that the better. Oh, and, for the record, I have it on good word that The Sleeper privately quit JBW looonng before he was publicly fired on the Jabe thread.
LRB grabs a mic from ringside and climbs into the ring.
LRB: Y’all listenin’ to this shit that I got to put up with round here. Some no talent hack steals a fuckin’ win from me, and I fix his lil’ red wagon and Jay Bee Dubya tries to cut a deal with me? Listen here y’all, I didn’t give a damn about whether or not Jay Bee Dubya wants to recognize this..
Holds up the title
...or not. This is about me gettin’ my fair shot. So I’ll say this about them suits in the back. You wanna recognize the most prestigious title there is in Jay Bee Dubya, that’s fine by me. If you wanna say that I "lost" this fuckin’ title last week even though I was standin’ tall, lookin’ good, and walkin’ out with the belt, I say whatever helps you sleep better at night. If’n you wanna throw some damn sheep to the slaughter so I can formally "regain" my title, go right ahead and send the lil’ bitch out. Their blood is on y’all’s fuckin’ hands. Y’all sit there an’ try to stop this here Civil War, well guess what. Y’all better save that Confederate currency, cause the South shall rise again.
Throws the microphone down.
Chuck: Strong strong words from our resident redneck.. So, who'd ya' think his mystery opponent is, Rock?
Rock: I'm begging for it to be Sleeps. Begging.
Colin Hobert: Lenny Ray, I have just received word that due to you heinous actions last week that JBW Board of Directors is willing to make a compromise with you. The Board of Directors has decided that they will officially sanction the JBW Southern Championship as a real title with a real title history, but your loss to Sleeper will stand. They are giving you a chance to "regain" your title. Anything to say to that?LRB: LOSS!?! LOSS?!? GOD DAMN...SON OF A...MOTHER... Lenny Ray takes a breath. You know what little man?
Lenny Ray grabs Hobert by the hair and drives his head into the dumpster nearby.
LRB: I’ll just go right out there and tell everyone what I got to fuckin’ say about this shit.
#HO-LEE-SHIT!-HO-LEE-SHIT!
Lenny Ray Bearegard
Lenny Ray’s Kick it in the Sticks theme hits as he doesn’t waste any time walking out to the ring carrying the newly sanctioned JBW Southern Championship with him. The paparazzi go into a frenzy at the sight of the gold.
Chuck: This guys the pits, Rock. He is a thief, and he has no place carrying that belt. I'm telling you, if The Sleeper didn't get fired, he would be right in this hillbillys face taking back what is rightfully his.
Rock: Haha, I hope LRB doesn't watch this show, because if he hears what you just said, he will surely strangle you to death, o'bro o' mine. This guy is the absolute toughest person in JBW, and the sooner management realizes that the better. Oh, and, for the record, I have it on good word that The Sleeper privately quit JBW looonng before he was publicly fired on the Jabe thread.
@RockisaMarvel: bring back @ThaLOCO1so @GoodOlLRB can kick his little masked head in #bringhimbacknow.
LRB grabs a mic from ringside and climbs into the ring.
LRB: Y’all listenin’ to this shit that I got to put up with round here. Some no talent hack steals a fuckin’ win from me, and I fix his lil’ red wagon and Jay Bee Dubya tries to cut a deal with me? Listen here y’all, I didn’t give a damn about whether or not Jay Bee Dubya wants to recognize this..
Holds up the title
...or not. This is about me gettin’ my fair shot. So I’ll say this about them suits in the back. You wanna recognize the most prestigious title there is in Jay Bee Dubya, that’s fine by me. If you wanna say that I "lost" this fuckin’ title last week even though I was standin’ tall, lookin’ good, and walkin’ out with the belt, I say whatever helps you sleep better at night. If’n you wanna throw some damn sheep to the slaughter so I can formally "regain" my title, go right ahead and send the lil’ bitch out. Their blood is on y’all’s fuckin’ hands. Y’all sit there an’ try to stop this here Civil War, well guess what. Y’all better save that Confederate currency, cause the South shall rise again.
Throws the microphone down.
Chuck: Strong strong words from our resident redneck.. So, who'd ya' think his mystery opponent is, Rock?
Rock: I'm begging for it to be Sleeps. Begging.
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