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[Kashdinero]

WARFare intro theme: Headstrong by Trapt


Jay: Yeah boy, we be ready to throw down, and get down to a little WARFare, and Lunchbox told me that Kash told Ma$$ who told Dave who told Todd that we have a fucking amazing show for you tonight.

Silent Bob: *Smiles, nods and waves, before giving the thumbs up.*

David Letterman: Thats right folks, we have a great show for you, but theres something that has been bothering me. Why the blue blazes have The Devils Rejects been allowed to run rampant here on the flagship show? There are a few people around here who need to answer for The Devils Rejects actions, now, lets take a look at what happened last week.

The ending of the main event between the tag team champions HolyJose and Azrael vs The Ice Cream Man and RamJam.

David: Great action in this one so far, as Ice Cream Man has Just locked in a crossface on Azreal. Azreal isn’t ready to tap just yet, but he’s a long way away from the ropes. What’s all this about? Ice Cream Man just let go of the hold. He’s standing over Azreal now and he smiles wickedly at his confused opponent. This is for the tag-titles Jay, what was Ice Cream Man thinking?

Jay: Look at the ramp and you’ll know what he’s thinking.

David: Oh no! Here come The Devil’s Rejects. All of them. They’re walking in the ring despite the ref’s warning. HolyJose gets into the ring now but it’s too much. The Rejects swamp Jose and Azreal, and this is an absolute mugging!

Jay: It’s 9 on 2 Dave…insurmountable odds.

David: Well obviously this match is over, and even though it looked like The Lost Souls had a decent chance at winning the tag-titles here, clearly that’s not what they were looking for. They wanted to send a message: anyone who dares cross paths with The Rejects isn’t safe, even if you’re in the main event match. This assault is brutal. It’s been going on for minutes now. *crowd pops* Wait a minute, it’s…it’s Alpha Dog! He’s had enough of this! He storms down the ramp like a man afire, he takes out RamJam, now Ice Cream Man, now Demonic, but oh..it’s Silva from behind with a stiff shot to the back of the head.

Jay: I’m telling you, it’s still too much. 9 on 3 aint good odds, even if those three are Jose, Alpha, and Azreal.

David: Chainsaw hits the Texas Chainsaw Massacre on HolyJose as Samson locked in the Cruciatus Curse on Alpha. Tad Locust gets up from his physical beatdown on Azreal, and him, Samson, NightWolf and Chainsaw stand in the middle of the ring, getting booed by the crowd while smiling wickedly. Who in the world is gonna stop the unstoppable? Who can put an end to this groups quest for power? Who can stop…The Devil’s Rejects? JBW!

David: Ladies and Gentlemen, that was disgusting. It's bad enough that these psycho's are making mince meat of guys on Mayhem, but right here on WARFare? Man, that's disgusting, and I took this job because I thought it was gonna be fun. But witnessing that beatdown last week made me sick to my stomach. No way I wanna see something like that happen again, so Ladies and Gentlemen, it has been my complete pleasure to announce these past few shows, but this will be my last one. *Turns to Jay and Silent Bob.* Guys?

Jay: Fuck yeah! People at home, this is me and Silent Bob's last show as announcers, too. See, my boy Brandon Smithston has been teaching us how to wrestle these past few months, but no one knew about it and shit and me and Silent Bob made a challenge what seems like fucking years ago, and we need to make good on that. Me and Silent Bob are gonna be wrestling all over, getting ready for our JBW debut.

David: Yes, if I remember correctly, you made that same challenge on my show. Hahaha... Good luck with that one. Now, that is out of the way, we can move on, and talk about the rest of the card.

Jay: You better believe that we got some great action tonight. We got my boy Snairs first match since he lost the strap, and dude's gonna show Manabu how it's done.

Bob: *Nods in agreement.*

That's right, people, Snair will be going one on one with none other than Tom George. Wow... Poor Tom.

Bob: *Takes on a sombre look, and winces as he remembers the beating Tom took from Manabu last week.*

David: Yeah, I know what you mean, Bob. Anyway, next week it will be reigning WARFare World Television champion, and one half of the WARFare tag team champions, HolyJose defending his TV title against The Alpha Dog and Malcolm Cage in a three way dance. That is going to tear the house down, and HolyJose better be wearing his lucky boots, because thats some stiff competition. These three may be friends, but friendship won't come into this one. To keep them in tip top shape, all three will be in singles competition tonight, but our first match up tonight will be two members of the reason I am calling it quits at the announce desk against two up and comers who have aparently caught the eye of management Nick Riot and Bill Bastion, AKA The Nasty Crew. First lets check in on Snair.

[Kashdinero]

*We see Snair getting ready, once he has tied the laces to his thousand dollar boots, he leaves his locker room. We see him walk down the corridor when suddenly he sees a guy obstructing his way.*

Snair: Excuse me can you please get out of my way(in a sarcastic tone)

*the guy turns around & its TDA Warfare GM & both keep staring with great animosity*

Snair: *after taking a good look at his old nemisis* Welcome back!

TDA: Is that the same bat swinging ego-maniac I used to know??

Snair: You can bet your ass on that, I'm that same ego-manaic but with a new outloook towards challenges & way of doing things. You see I know you are mad at me for sacrificing your chances at becoming a well deserved champion,robbing you of your chances at every opportunity I got.But you gotta realise that was a guy eager to make a mark in this business,wanting his name to be debated,reach the top at any cost.

TDA: You know the problem is not you wanting to change and make Manabu pay for his actions but you look like a guy without a purpose now, there is something fishy going on inside.

Snair: I didn't get it. Are you saying I'm a sellout?

TDA: Don't get me wrong but I dont see the same intensity you had facing me or any any of my Nova collegues,nowadays it appears you are fighting yourself when stand against Manabu,in other words you look a spent force and I want the old one back*crowd boos heavily*He was a asshole alright but somehow he entertained these people with his trash talk,cocky attitude and always up for a fight.

Snair: Just so I'm clear but you liked that looser I was back in FSA?

TDA: You are getting me wrong. For some reason I respected you but I dont want you to go back to your old ways but more like facing Manabu like his own self,you can channelise your ego in the right direction and all will be WELL.

Snair: I appreciate your concern but I've got something special for him.I figured out he likes to run his mouth about all the diseases,well he can keep running his mouth somewhere down the line he'll say something intelligent thats the moment I come walking down that ramp, get in the ring, I'll admire the smug on his face and then I'll chase him around the ring like a rapist and will proceed to give him a beatdown so good, so epic that he'll share that moment with his grand children which will be cool if you ask me.

TDA: Now thats what I'm talking about, my job here is done *smiles & leaves*

Jay: Holy shit! Those two used to kick the shit out of each other... I gotta say that that was pretty cool to witness, and if I wasn't so fucked up right now, I'd remember it for the rest of my life.

Bob: *Looks at Jay, shakes his head and rolls his eyes.*

NightWolf and Tad Locust Vs The Nasty Crew.... Horrorcore rules.

Greggory Samuels: Ladies and Gentlemen it is time for the first bout of the evening. Introducing first, weighing in at a combined weight of five hundred and eighty pounds.. Bill Bastion, Nick Riot, they are The Nasty Crew!

Jay: These guy's are pretty fucking bad ass, and they also some brave fools. I don't care how much training me and Silent Bob get; there ain't a chance in hell me and Lunchbox

Greggory Samuels: And their opponents, introducing first, he is walking down the aisle, from an undisclosed location, standing six feet and one inch, weighing in at a rock solid two hundred and thirty five pounds... Tad.. Locust


David: Here comes one sick and twisted individual. For the whole time since he has been in JBW he has been refering to this "HE" thing that talks to him, apparently, inside of his head, and the voice turned out to be Chainsaw all along. Chainsaw just happened to turn out to be Tad's brother, and Tad joined the disgusting entity that is The Devils Rejects.

*Tad gets into the ring, and the lights go out. The arena is filled with the sound of thunder cracks, and lightning stikes the ramp. When the lights come back on, the JBW Horrorcore Champion is standing in the spot where the lightning struck. He rushes the ring and the match starts.



Jay: Holy shit, Silent Bob, The Nasty Crew got fucking nasty in that one!

David: But in the end it wasn't enough. NightWolf got the win with a shining wizard after some violence that quite frankly made me sick. I'm not even going to say that it was a good match, because, to some it may be, but to me it wasn't what I wanna see. Let's go to someone I do wanna see. Malcolm Cage.

*Malcolm Cage is backstage talking on his cellphone. We cannot here what the person on the other line is saying. There is a huge pop from the crowd when Cage is shown on screen.*

MC: Yea it had to be done... No... No... Yes... I know what I’m doing okay. The people still love me, if anything they will love me even more for the amount of work I’m doing to improve. Its not even them that I’m worried about... No it’s the guys in back. I really strive for their attention and for them to like me... No its not the same as highschool... No they don’t pick on me. I feel that the last few weeks I have made myself known to the locker room and hopefully someday they will see me as a true wrestler... Well that’s the thing I hd to get rid of this superhero crap that was holding me back. I had to make a name for myself and stop trying to make a name for the nameless. So I went back to the drawing board on everything. I just hope people see something that they can respect... Why do I care? Because I have feelings, and when recognition isn’t received for something you have put your whole life into, it hurts... Yea... Yea.. Yea i got something planned... No I can’t tell you, what would be the fun in that... No you will have to wait to see like everyone else... Trust me, it’s going to be big, and when it happens, everyone will be talking about ya boy Malcolm... Okay I have to go get ready for my match... Alright... Talk to you later... Talk to you later Mom... Love you too Mom and I will be safe, ya boy always is... Love you, Bye...

* Malcolm Cage hangs up the phone and walks towards his locker room. We see him with an ease about, almost therapeutic. Malcolm Cage is ready to take it to the next level*

Jay: I remember when my mom left me outside a shop one day and never came back.

Bob: *gives Jay a WTF! Kind of look.*

Jay: OK, I don't remember, but they made a film about us, and thats what they said happened, so I'm'a roll with it... Lets move the fuck on!

Alpha Dog: How's it going Catahula Bulldog?

(Alpha puts his hand on HolyJoses shoulder. Holy quickly hits Alphas hand away. Alpha has a surprised look on his face.)

HJ: What the fuck happened last week? Remember what we said to each other the first time we teamed up on the Showdown Main Event? Let me remind you. You said that you had respect for me but if I didn’t have your back you’d say I’d regret it. Well what happened last week I expected the same from you! When Azrael and I were getting the shit beat out of us we expected YOU to have our back as soon as it looked like trouble. What happened You FUCKING GOT THERE AND GOT YOUR ASS HANDED TO YOU! THE MAN WHO DEFEATED ZUES APOLLO GOT HIS ASS KICKED BUT SOME FUCKING FREAKS! I thought I could trust you but it looks as if all I can rely on is myself and Azrael. The way I see it the fight would have been there if you got there on time and it’s all your damn fault!

Alpha: Listen HJ, The Alpha Dog was in the locker room watching your match and as soon as he saw those douchebags coming for you, The Alpha Dog started running for the ring. Now The Alpha Dog tried to help you and Azrael. The Alpha Dog is...sorry.

HJ: *breaths in deeply* fine just don't let it happen again

*HolyJose leaves the locker room to get ready for his match*

Jay: Man, that was some harsh words spoken right there, and, man, that was a Holy Jose that is telling me that he is nervous about his status as a dual champ. Jose is in trouble, Silent Bob.

Bob: *Nods head in semi agreement.*

David: Let's just move on people. Something tells me that Jose and Alpha would have preferred to have had that conversation away from the camera.

[Kashdinero]

*Tracy Turner is shown backstage standing in front of a door that says Fernandez Romero. She knocks on the door.*

???: Who is it?

Tracy: Hey Fernandez! It's me...Tracy!

Fernandez: Go away!!

Tracy: Open the door. I just want to talk.

Fernandez: No!!! I don't wanna!!

*Tracy has an annoyed look on her face and then says*

Tracy: Fernandez... *says with a forced smile* who's the Latino version of Brad Pitt but far more sexy?

*After a moment, the door opens with the sounds of Cup of Life by Ricky Martin playing in the background.*

Fernandez: That would be me. What do you want?

Tracy: I just wanted to apologize and wanted to see if...you maybe wanted to give me another chance.

Fernandez: You know, you...last week after I...lost to Zeus Apollo instead of helping me in my time of need, you go running off with him to be part of one of his,I don't know, crazy...God...sex parties. Why should I take you back?

Tracy: Okay, first of all, he didn't even touch me. I mean I tried, but all he did was wink at me and...well you know, I didn't really need to try anymore. *Fernandez is slackjawed at this news.* And second, I just got caught up in the moment. I'm like really attracted to guys who have power and after watching him just*starts breathing hard* dominating you...

*Tracy closes her eyes and starts breathing harder while giggling. Fernandez has a "WTF" look on his face.*

Fernandez: *While snapping his fingers in front of her face* Hey, Hey, HEY!!!

*Tracy comes out of it, looks at Fernandez, and lets out a sigh.*

Tracy: I promise I will try to make sure it doesn't happen again.

Fernandez: TRY?!!! *Cuts the air with his hands and holds them up* Look bebe, I have a match tonight with The Alpha Mutt. You want to see what real domination looks like, you come down to the ring with me and you will get to see what I can do first hand. Then it will be me who is on your mind at all times. *Gently grabs her by the chin* Livin La Vida Loca! Come in.

*Tracy blushes a bit as she enters Fernandez room*

Jay: Holy shit, that pussy must be good for Fernadez to take her back after she got slammed by Zeus Apollo last week! I bet he hit that with some nasty slams... Pow... Pow... Pow.. POW POW POW!!!! Hahaha, it's gonna be like chucking a hot dog into Wembley Stadium now Zeus has been there. Anyway, like, speaking of fucked, it's time for Snair to kick Tom Georges ass, but, like six thousand times worse than Manabu did last week.

Snair vs Tom George

Here comes the ex champ. And the fans are going nuts

Jay: I'm telling ya, boy, this is the Snair that I like. He don't need no Manapooh or no five star pussies to hold him back. It was because he had a too big of a head that he lost the title, and now I think this motherfucker is way more focused. Tom George is in trouble.

It's Tom George. Pray for him. Dude gets killed more than Kenny.

David: So, Bob, have you got another rant at management claiming how this match goes against human rights?

Bob: *Shakes head, but says nothing.*



David: That was unbelievably fast! But the nicest thing about that is he didn't hurt Tom George. The old Snair would have beat the tar out of him, but he clearly felt no need to cause him any further bodily harm after the beating that Manabu gave him last week. Lets go with everyones favorite backstage interviewer, Todd Stevenson.

Jay: Todd, you suck!


(Todd is shown with a mic backstage)

Todd: Thank you, Jay, now, I would like to introduce my guest at this time, Gabriel...

(Alpha appears in frame and grabs Todd by the jacket)

Alpha: HOLY EFFIN JOSE TODD!!! WHAT THE HELL HAS THE ALPHA DOG TOLD YOU?!!!

Todd: (In a scared voice) huh huh blondes who can't keep their eyes open are horrible wrestlers?

Alpha: (Thinks for a moment) YES! WHAT ELSE?!!

Todd: huh huh Community is a great show?

Alpha: (Thinks for a moment) YES! WHAT ELSE?!!

Todd: huh huh Dominating Mila Kunis wasn't that great?

Alpha: (Thinks and then has a confused look on his face) Did The Alpha Dog really tell you that?

Todd: I believe so...

Alpha: (Thinks for a moment longer and then suddenly lets go of Todd) OH YEAH!! It was something about her voice. The Alpha Dog kept thinking he was dominating Meg Griffin instead of Mila. Totally got him out of the zone. So how is it going Toddrick?

Todd: Pretty good Alpha. I was just wanting to ask you a few questions.

Alpha: WELL THEN ASK THEM!!!

Todd: Last week, HolyJose and Azeral were being attacked by The Devils Rejects and you decided to come down to the ring to help. Unfortunately, you were overwhelmed by the massive numbers The Devils Rejects possess. Why did you come out knowing that the odds were certainly not going to be in your favor?

Alpha: BECAUSE HOLYJOSE WAS IN TROUBLE AND THE ALPHA DOG WILL NOT STAND FOR THAT SHIT!!! YES IT WAS GOING TO BE NINE ON THREE AND YOU KNOW WHAT THE ALPHA DOG DOESN'T CARE!!! Supernova may be dead, but The Alpha Dog will always have HolyJoses back as The Alpha Dog is sure HolyJose will always have his back.

Todd: Well, that friendship between you and HolyJose is possibly going to be tested because next week it's going to be you, Malcolm Cage, and the current TV champion HolyJose in a Triple Threat Match next week for the Warfare TV Championship. How do you see this match going down?

Alpha: HUH IT'S GOING TO GO DOWN IN FUCKING WRESTLING HISTORY!!! THAT'S HOW IT'S GOING TO GO DOWN!!! THEY ARE GOING TO PUT ON THE GREATEST MATCH IN THAT TITLES HISTORY AND FOR DAMMMMNNNN SURE BLOW THE ROOF OFF THE ARENA!!!

Todd: Well, tonight you have a match with Fernadez Romero...

(The Alpha Dog starts to laugh really loud)

Todd: Did I say something funny?

Alpha: (Between laughs) YOU...YOU...YOU...CALLED IT A MATCH!!! (Laughs even harder) Woo! You are a funny one Todd. Good talk Todd. Good talk. The Alpha Dog has to go get ready for his...(looks like he is trying to hold in a laugh but failing miserably) MATCH!!!! (Busts out laughing again and continues laughing as he walks out of frame ) MATCH?!!! THAT BITCH IS ABOUT TO GET DOMINATED!!!! WOOOO!!!

(The camera follows Alphs as he walks off down a corridor. The camera stops following him, but he can still be heard laughing to himself.)

Jay: Love that dude! Now, we've heard from one of HolyJose's opponents for next week... Now lets see what his other opponent can actually do. It's time for CAGE!

[Kashdinero]

Malcolm Cage Vs SteveOrton

It's the return of Steve O!

Jay: Holy Jose, we haven't seen this mother fucker in a long time! I didn't think that he even still worked for us anymore.

David: Well, he's back, and you won't hear me complaining. Steve Orton is one of the originals around here, and I am so pleased to see him. Lets see if he has any ring rust.

This man is making waves around here.

David: Now, here comes a young respectful man, who has come into his own in recent weeks and is really making an effort to stand out during such turbulent and busy times here at JBW. Good on him. I think that Steve Ortons return won't be a pleasant one.



Jay: Yeah, boy! These people are going fucking nuts here! My boy, Cage just tore through that jobber like me and Lunchbox tear through the ladies...

Bob: *Smiles. Winks. Nods.*

Cage: Whew, that was hard work... Not! Hey, Alphs... Why don't you have your match now and show these people what you can do.

*Cage leaves the ring, and as soon as he has walked through the curtain....*

The Alpha Dog VS Fernandez Romero

Greggory Samuels: THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS SCHEDULED FORRR ONE FALLLLL! BEING ACCOMPANIED TO THE RING BY TRACY TURNER, WEIGHING IN AT TWO HUNDRED AND FORTY EIGHT POUNDS AND STANDING SIX FEET TWO INCHES TALLFEEERRRRNANDEZZZZZ RRRROMEROOOOOO!

David: Now this guy claimed to Tracy earlier that he was going to prove that he can not only talk but can back up his words as well. He can prove that tonight if he can win against The Alpha Dog.

Jay: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME DAVE?! Last week that dickbag, who is coming out to Ricky fuckin Martin while fuckin dancing, got his ass kicked by Zeus Apollo! And who has defeated Zeus Apollo? THE MOTHERFUCKIN ALPHA DOG THAT'S WHO!!

Silent Bob: *Shakes his head up and down*

Jay: If Fernandez didn't stand a chance against Zeus last week, HOW THE FUCK IS HE GOING TO BEAT THE ALPHA DOG?!

Greggory Samuels:(The guitars intro starts and the lights begin to flicker with the drums) AND HIS OPPONENT STANDING AT (The Alpha Dog walks out before his usual quoe and just stands on the stage, appearing to be huffing and puffing) SIX FEET TWO INCHES TALL AND(The Alpha Dog starts to run towards the ring really fast and slides in) WEIGHING IN AT...

(Greggory notices something and runs out of the ring. Fernandez turns around and notices too late that The Alpha Dog is making a b-line towards him and he gets hit by a gruesome clothesline.)

Jay: HOLY FUCKIN SHIT!!! DID YOU SEE THAT?!!

David: (kind of a startled voice) Yeah...we sure did. Wow that was a vicious move and the ref hasn't even had the chance to start the match yet.

(The camera shows Alpha staring down at Fernandez, who is struggling to get up, while huffing and puffing with a crazed look on his face. Alpha then goes and grabs Fernandez by the hair and throws Fernandez over the ring ropes. Alpha quickly follows to the outside of the ring. Alpha grabs Fernandez, who is attempting to stand up, and Fernandez attempts to break free from Alpha with a few punches, but fails when Alpha knees him in the midsection. Alpha then lifts up Fernandez on his shoulder and then charges, Fernandez back first, into a turnbuckle post. Fernandez screams in pain as Alpha then lifts Fernandez by his chest, turns to the left, and slams Fernandez into the barricade.)

Jay: MAN...THE ALPHA DOG HAS FUCKING LOST IT!!! THIS MOTHERFUCKER NEEDS A DOOBIE SNACK RIGHT NOW!!!

David: I have to imagine this brutality and rage has to do with what HolyJose said to The Alpha Dog earlier. HolyJose said some pretty harsh things to The Alpha Dog and it looked like it really hurt him. That plus getting the beat down from The Devils Rejects has just sent him over the edge.

(Alpha, still with a crazed look on his face, looks at the bottom of the ring and smiles. He then goes under there looking for something. He pulls out a table.)

Jay: Holy shit, what is he planning on doing with that?

David: With The Alpha Dog...who knows.

(Alpha sets up the table on the outside of the ring and then goes for Fernandez. Fernandez becomes aware and attempts to fight off Alpha again, but fails again when Alpha slams his head into the table. Alpha lifts Fernandez head up again and slams it against the apron of the ring. Alpha climbs onto the apron that Fernandez is leaning on, grabs Fernandez, and starts to pull him up onto the apron that is on the same side of the table set up on the outside. Alpha then puts Fernandez into a pedigree position on the apron. Alpha smiles right before he lets out a loud scream, lifts Fernandez up, turns to the left, and jumps off the apron...)

David: OH MY GOD!!! THE ALPHA SHOCK RIGHT THROUGH THE TABLE!!!

Jay: HOLY SHIT!!! THAT WAS FUCKING INSANE!!!

Silent Bob: *He is shown shaking his head up and down really fast with a frightened look on his face*

(Fernandez is not moving as the medics come down to check on him. Tracy runs to the side of the ring that Fernandez was on, attempting to check on Fernandez before Alpha turns around and stares at Tracy. Tracy is breathing hard and looks afraid at first as The Alpha Dog continues to stare, but then she starts to smile with a lustful look in her eyes. Alpha then grabs Tracy by the legs, lifts her up, and puts her over his shoulder with absolutely no resistance from her.)

David: Tracy is not fighting this at all.

Jay: OH SHIT!!! The Alpha Dog isn't going to be needing a doobie snack because he is about to have himself a Tracy Snack!!

Silent Bob: * Shakes his head up and down while smiling*

(The Alpha Dog is walking towards the backstage area with Tracy over his shoulder before going to commercial.)

[Kashdinero]

*We're back from the commercial, and, Sasha is seen facing a mirror applying make up, her grin grows bigger and bigger the more make up she applies clearly emphasisng her arrogance*

Sasha: Oh Ayako, when will you ever learn? You keep coming back for more and more, like a creepy masochist. I'm not sure which is more disgusting, your fantasies of getting torn apart limb by limb or your hideous face. It's just not enough to have pride and respect or whatever you call it Ayako, face it it's just a poor excuse to get everyone behind you and to make yourself the number 1 face in this company. You don't have any skills to back yourself up and thats why every night you're losing to me. Beauty is where true power lies, beauty can get you everywhere but where is respect going to get you? I could be laid out on the floor just waiting to get pinned and to give you the greatest win of your life but no, you don't bother because you have 'respect'. All your flaws are just building up until one day you realise you really are a failure


Jay: Sasha is one fucking sexy bitch, and I would mack dat, Silent Bob! And I heard that she has some tight links with a certain ex GM, but I never told you that.

David: Back at ringside, and yep, thats exactly who you think it is.

The Prophecy is standing in the ring, with the usual smug expression on his face

"Gooooood evening peons"

The fans boo

"Come on this booing thing still, come on already I am a deity beater, that means I beat Gods for a living and you are going to witness it again tonight, dont boo me"

The fans start chanting You Suck

"And don't tell me I suck, I dont, I will prove you all wrong when tonight, right here on Warfare I beat my third God, imagine that, none of you people have beaten Gods, consider it a gift from me...to you, and hey Im used to getting bad gifts myself, last year my sister gave me a wooden leg for Christmas, it wasnt my main present, it was just a stocking filler..."

Prophecy gives a cheeky wink to the camera

"Come on this is a great gift, now onto tonights God...ahem..."

THE LIGHTS GO OUT, AND MUSIC PLAYS



AN IMAGE APPEARS ON THE SCREEN FOLLOWED BY A MESSAGE



THE WATERS ROSE, YET THE LANDS WENT DRY, THE STENCH OF DEATH AND DECAY TRAVELED THE WORLD, NO HUMAN SOUNDS WERE HEARD. THE LAND WAS DESTROYED, EVERYONE WAS DEAD, THE BEAST HAD ERADICATED ALL EXISTENCE FROM THE MORTAL WORLD, THE GODS KNEW THIS, THEY BIDED THEIR TIME, WONDERING WHAT TO DO NEXT, THEIR OWN IMMORTALITY WAS IN GRAVE DANGER, SHOULD THEY OR COULD THEY EVEN STOP THE BEAST, HEY HAD NO CHOICE WITH EARTH GONE MOUNT OLYMPUS WAS SURELY SOON TO FOLLOW....HE IS COMING

Prophecy looks annoyed

"Again really, for the third time, a stupid video in the middle of MY promo, monkeys in the back, ensure this does not happen again"

Fans look confused at the new video

"Anyway time to bring out God number three, he hails from the Underworld, he is the brother of Zeus and one of the men credited for defeating the Titans, he is HAAAAADEEEEEES"






Zeus Apollo runs out, and the look on his face says that he has had enough of this mockery. He speeds up as he descends down the ramp, and he slides in with the grace of a God. Springing to his feet, he the leaps through the air and catches The Prophecy in a flying triangle lock. In mere seconds The Prophecey is put to sleep by this dangerous submission hold. Zeus Apollo releases the hold, then stands over The Prophecy, with a smirk on his face after having just violently choked him out... Zeus takes a microphone up to his mouth and speaks.

Zeus: "Look at this... You've been weighed, measured, and now taken lifeless. Your constant ignorance has come back to haunt you, and I've got some news for you. It's not over yet... Until you step into this ring with ME, and quit avoiding me, while you challenge unskilled actors, then you're going to continue being the victim. November 6th, and the next JBW Pay-Per-View, you WILL accept my challenge for a match... Just to make sure you don't pull any stunts, let's make it an I QUIT MATCH!... You have one week to accept this challenge, or we'll just have to repeat this again."

Zeus turns his attention towards the audience and smiles.

Zeus: "I know everyone enjoyed seeing some violence once more... I am Zeus Apollo, the Warrior of the Gods, and the Defender of Mortals... And after I defeat The Prophecy, then you can call me The Number One Contender to the Warfare Championship."

This prompts a loud positive response from the crowd, as Zeus Apollo is finally emerging as Warfare's ultimate Fan Favorite.

Bob: *Fist pumps*

Jay: Yeah, you know it, Silent Bob! Zeus just fucking owned The Prophecy there... Man, he must wanna really fuck him up if he's challenging him to a, I Quit match. Shit boy... And what the fuck is up with those fucking videos that keep interupting The Propheceys promos? Fuck, this is a great fucking rivalry building here between these two JBW legends. Lets go the fuck back stage where my boy Connor Chaos is standing by.

[Kashdinero]

Todd Stevenson: Joining me now at this time, the Herald of Havoc, Conner Chaos

*Conner appears to a huge cheer*

Connor: Hey Todd. Hey, WHAT’S UP JBW UNIVERSE!?!

Todd: Conner, you’ve had some great matches over the past two weeks, care to comment on your progress

Conner: You know Todd, I’ve got to admit I haven’t been on what you could call a winning streak lately. Championship match against Shuriken Serra two weeks ago; came up short. Match against the Jman last week; just missed out. Now I know people have been saying that I’m a really great wrestler and that I can take the best t their limits. But you know what? That isn’t enough. And I can guarantee all you people here tonight that I am not going to stop until I can take the best beyond the limits, and I finally win a championship with the power of Chaos on my side.

*Huge pop from the crowd*

Todd: So how do you feel about what might be coming in the weeks ahead?

Conner: well I can’t be sure, but I’ll definitely be ready for anything that..

*before Chaos can finish his thought, Samson appears on the screen, interrupting him*

Samson: Well, if it isn’t Mr. Chaos. The so called “Herald of Havoc.” So nice to finally.. meet. You know it’s funny, you and The Devil’s Rejects are after..very similar goals. I mean, we’ve created chaos on every single show we’ve been on to date. You must be a big fan of ours..unfortunately, we are not a fan of yours.

Conner: Is that so, well I honestly don’t care.

Samson: Oh you should care *creeping out from the shadows appears Ramjam and Ice Cream Man, then Nightwolf, then Tad Locust, and soon all of The Devil’s Rejects are surrounding Conner* You should care very….very much.

Conner: Oh fuck yo-

*its too late. All the members of The Devils Rejects aside from Samson are beating mercilessly on Conner Chaos. Their assault is absolutely brutal, and Todd Stevenson, who had before been in a state of petrifaction, starts to run away, but Samson grabs him by the shirt collar, pulling him close so that they are face-to-face*

Samson: No no no. Todd. I want you to see this. I want you..to hear this. Listen to the music we make.

*the only noises being heard right now are from that of fists meeting flesh, and the sounds of Conner Chaos grunting and crying out in pain, to which Samson actually begins to sway his head back and forth with his eyes closed, as if listening to a glorious symphony from a composer of classical music. When The Rejects are done, they get up and surround Todd*

Samson: Go on Todd. Segway back to the announcers. This interview is over now.

Todd: B-back t-to you g-guys.

David: This is the absolute shits! This show has gotten out of hand and no one is trying to put a stop to this... I want answe-

Wait a minute, music hits and its.........DUBS!!!!

~Dubs makes his way to the ring wearing a Taylor Made suit shirt as he makes his way to the microphone and speaks~

Dubs: What a wonderful night here on WARfare isn't it? I'm bringing the ratings to this show, not to mention the fact that I finally get the OFFICIAL JBW contract that I deserve! *Crowd boos* I knew it was going to happen eventually. If I didn't get a JBW contract, then then all hell would have broken loose. I would have opened every little detail about JBW and the backstage nonsense behind it. JBW would have never been looked at the same way ever again if I was to get swept away again. At least TDA was bright enough to actually see that giving me what I wanted was only going to make things better and not for the worse. I know Kash is probably irate at the fact that he just can't get rid of me but I always come back.

~Crowd chants You Suck while Dubs laughs and talks some more~

Dubs: Now for me becoming wrestler, my goal is simply to be the best, mess with the higher ups, and capture MY WARfare World title. I know you people are wondering why I want to be a wrestler so bad. Well, its simple, for the MPR: The MONEY, the POWER, and the RESPECT. As COO of JBW, I had the money, I had the power but I never got an inch of respect. Especially from the punks in the back like Jman, The Prophecy, HolyJose, Zeus Apollo, and Shuriken, Kash's yesmen. I hear Jman run his little about me which shows he had no respect for me from the start. I'm not hear to prove anything to anybody but I simply want to be more then just a wrestler who will shake things up and will shows everybody that Dubs isn't some push-over in a fancy suit. If I have to get viscous and nasty, i'll do just that. Now if TDA would hurry is ass up with my contract awaiting to get signed........



The lights in the arena flickered briefly before the music of TDA began to play. For some odd reason TDA was wearing his wrestling gear instead of a custom made suit as he came out on to the stage ramp. It really made no sense seeing as TDA never signed a new competing contract with JBW. However, the crowd was pumped an anxious to see more as TDA placed the microphone he was holding near his mouth.

TDA: "I never wanted you to be left out of this company, Dubs. You are just like you said; A money maker. An any wise man would sign that person whether or not they have any kind of lingering grudges against them. Back when you were the head honcho of this place people were always wanting to see "The Great Dubs" compete, but due to so many commitments you were unable to fulfill so many fantasy's. If I give you this contract then you must understand that I will work you to the bone an make you prove your worth as a competitor."

TDA walks down to the ring with the contract an he slides inside between the ropes. When he stood back up he gave DUBS a very distinctive glare before he reached for a pen from the ref. TDA then handed the contract to DUBS before beginning to speak yet again.

TDA: "There's your contract! Once you sign it you will have officially sold your soul to the Devil..."

The Devil’s Rejects. AKA Trouble

*The Devil’s Rejects comes out, all of them, with Chainsaw out in front with a microphone. He speaks*

Chainsaw: So, TheDevilsAdvocate…meet The Devil’s Rejects. Actually, as far as you’re concerned, we’re the Devil himself. We certainly cause enough pain to get that distinction, enough...suffering. Am I correct? Don’t answer that, it’s a rhetorical question you see. Everyone already knows the answer.

*The Devil’s Rejects make their way to the ring and step through the ropes. Chainsaw continues his speech*

Chainsaw: Actually TDA, I would think you would know that quite well by now. You see, there is a reason why we’re out here. Although it may not seem like it, there’s a reason behind everything The Devil’s Rejects do. The reason why we’re out here now though, is because it’s time to reveal to everyone exactly why we’ve been showing up on WARfare. I mean, obviously the connection between myself and my brother Tad is there, but even still, most of us are from Mayhem. We should after all have no right to be here. Now clearly we do whatever we want whenever we want, but this is different. I’ve always said we’ve needed to spread our dominance over both brands here in JBW, but with our falling out from the imbecile Iron Ape, that became much more difficult. That is, until we found a replacement. Someone much better, who would not only allow us on WARfare, but he would actually allow us to do what we wanted to do, what we HAD to do. That man is none other than you TDA. We cannot thank you enough for inviting us here my friend *extends a firm hand to TDA, which he wholeheartedly accepts*, but I think we can start by doing something we’ve wanted to do for a very long time. So *turns to Dubs* Dubs, you mentioned earlier that you want to get viscous and nasty. Well then, what a better place to start than here? *drops the mic as The Reject’s close in on Dubs*

*Dubs backs himself into a corner, but it’s not enough, as The Devil’s Rejects swarm him. They are tearing into Dubs like a pack of hyenas. One by one, The Rejects hit their finishing moves on Dubs as the crowd boos intensely. Chainsaw pick’s up Dubs and hits him with his finisher, the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Now it’s Samson’s turn, but first he picks up the mic and speaks*

Samson: You know something? For my entire time here, I’ve used the same finishing move; the Cruciatous Curse, aka the torture curse. As everyone knows it’s won me countless matches, and is absolutely devastating, but I’ve always wanted something more. Something better. Well, I have something better. Something that I’ve been keeping in my back pocket for just such an occasion. It’s The Killing Curse, and as I now look at Dubs, lying on the ground, all you people jeering us, I seem to only be able to recall one thing…*kneels down to Dubs, picking him up by the back of the head and staring deeply into his barely open eyes* you…NEVER…pushed me.

*Samson then drops the mic, still holding the back of Dubs’ head, and with his hand shaking in anger he rears back and gives a mighty roar, slamming Dubs face first into the hard canvas, spraying his nose everywhere. Blood is pouring out of every orifice in Dubs’ face, and the once roaring crowd is now in complete and utter silence. Dubs is having an epileptic fit in the middle of the ring, and even though the fans strongly dislike Dubs, there is a clear concern for his physical well being amongst every person in the audience. Officials immediately hold up the “X” with their arms, and medical staff are now rushing towards the ring. The Devil’s Rejects, including TDA, seem to be congratulating Samson on his actions, and that is the last thing we see as the screen fades to black*

[Kashdinero]

David: OK, back from the commercials, and, oh boy, am I glad I'm out of here. TDA, our General Manager here on WARFare is in cahoots with The Devils Rejects. *lets out low whistle.* I tell ya, folks... Your all in trouble... Here's move of the week.

Move of the week.



David: That was JMan with that awesome superkick he calls "Great Match, Lets Go Eat." on Connor Chaos in their epic match last week. Speaking of Connor, he is still feeling shaky and has cuts and bruises, but doctors say he'll be alright. However he's feeling, he is sure to have a battered and bruised ego and pride that no amount of care from the doctors can mend Lets now go backstage, I believe Todd is standing by with none other than Steve Austin..

Todd Stevenson: Hello , and thats right, I’m back stage here with Steven Austin! How are you Steve Ausin?

Steve Austin: How am I? I’m fucking great! After being overlooked for so long I finally get a chance to prove myself against the TV Champion no less!

Todd: That’s great to hear! So what do you think of your chances are tonight against HolyJose?

Steve: Oh I got this! I mean I know I am better than him so Holyjose be prepared to lose tonight!

Todd: Well you seem confident best of luck tonight!

Steve: Thanks and HolyJose that title comes to me afterwards!

Todd: Ladies and Gentlemen, we'll be back, after the commercials, with the Television champion in a not title bout.



David: OK, we're back from the commercials, and currently at ringside it's Jose's friends and opponents for next week, Alpha Dog and Malcolm Cage. Both of those guys dominated in their matches and they wanna see if the champ can do the same.

Main Event: HolyJose vs Steve Austin

Gregory Samuels: This match is set for one fall introducing first, he IS NOT AUSTIN 3:16 here is STTTTTEEEEEEVVVVEEE AUUUUSSSSTTTTINNNN!!!!!

Jay: who’s this motherfucker? *rolls up blunt* I mean I haven’t seen him and he thinks he can take on HolyJose? What’s he smoking and where can I get some?

Bob:*Shakes head takes blunt lights it and takes a drag*

Jay: HEY! Oh I get it you’re saying Austin is a drag.

Gregory Samuels: And introducing his opponent he is One half of the JBW Warfare Tag Team Champions and the JBW Warfare World Television Champion give it up for HolyJose!!!!!!!!! HolyJose

Jay: *takes drag of blunt* oh yea fuck yea! This is my dude here HolyJose!

David: HolyJose has shown why he is a champion and this should just be a warm up for him.



(The Alpha Dog walks over to the announce desk, and Jay is shown offering Alpha what he is smoking. Alpha takes it and takes a long drag.)

Jay: Oh, shit! Look at this motherfucker. I had know idea The Alph did doobie snacks!

Alpha: (Blows out smoke, coughs a bit) IMAGINE THE ALPHA DOG IF HE DIDN'T!! (hands it back to Jay) Thanks for that by the way, The Alpha Dog needed that. Now it's time to watch this match. The Alpha Dog can't believe how HolyJose is acting. The Alpha Dog tried his best to get out there, shit The Alpha Dog could of done better...(slams fists on the commentators table) THIS IS JUST PISSING THE ALPHA DOG OFF!!

Dave: Alpha don't worry. It's probably just a misunderstanding. Now just relax, because I would hate to see again what happened earlier.

Jay: So, how was Tracy?

Dave: Don't you think that is a bit personal?

Jay: Fuck you Dave. I gotta use what I can get. With Justice being in prison and all...

Alpha: Tracy wasn't bad. She gave The Alpha Dog her number and said she would like to do it again.

Jay: Fuck yeah! My boy Alpha dominating!

David: Can we just please focus on the match.


*Ignore ending*

*HolyJose goes to the top rope looking for a frog splash looks over at The Alpha Dog and Malcolm Cage showing off and being extremely arrogant when Steve Austin gets up and shakes the ropes and HolyJose falls to the mat. *

David: Austin goes for the pin 1…2…3! Steve Austin Picks up the win I can’t believe he beat the champ here tonight!

Jay: You have got to be fucking kidding me! That runt beat the Champ. No way.

Bob: *Facepalm due to idiocy of HolyJose*

David: Wow. Well Austin picks up the win in this non-title match!

*The Alpha Dog and Malcolm Cage are laughing out loud as they leave the ringside area and head up the ramp. Steve Austin reacts like he has just won the world title, and is cheering like crazy as he runs straight past Alphs and Cage, which causes Jose even more upset, and look on the WARFare TV World Heavyweight Champion, is one of embarrassment and fury.*

Jay: Jose won't take this lying down, and this might be the best thing that could have happened. And could be give Jose the fire thats needed for him to bring it next week. Speaking of fire.. Silent Bob fire up that blunt and pass me that shit

*Snair is seen making his way backstage with a smug look on his face, he wipes his forehead and laughs to himself remarking "ha, not one drop of sweat" clearly impressed with his victory over Tom George. The idea of Snair finally beginning his quest to become the Warfare World champion again and beating his own record makes the grin even larger, checking himself out in every mirror he sees.

He finds a Manabu shirt lying on the floor and picks it up, he looks it over and laughs not showing any sign of fear at the idea of him and Mana meeting in the ring again. He throws it to a beaten and bloody tom george whilst mentioning he was only making an example of Tom.

Snair continues and ends up a short distance from the car park where he notices Sasha looking paticularily beautiful, Snair stops and questions "See my match?"

Sasha: Of course, you must've set a record with a win that quick

Snair: Oh, I know Sasha: So do you perform as well out of the ring as you do in?

Snair *Realising his chance* Even better Sasha: Oh? Well I'd really like to see that

Snair: How about we make our way to my hotel room?

Sasha: Ok, just let me grab my kit bag and I'll see you soon *blows a kiss*

*Snair swings his key round his finger, feeling on top of the world and unbeatable his title quest is gaining momentum faster then he'd ever believe. He unlocks the car and sits down, turning on the road and spraying a small bit of cologne on. Sasha opens the door and makes her way in, throwing her bag behind her.*

"I forgot my ipod! I'll be 2 minutes baby"

*Snair leans back in his seat, he feels a strong brush of wind against his neck. He looks down only to see Manabu's kendo sword.*

Manabu: Prepare to die foul demon!

* Snair leaps out of the car and begins to run but he is quickly caught and tackled to the ground by Manabu. He delivers organ crushing kicks to Snairs stomach before picking him up and ddting him face first into the concrete ground. Manabu with what he believes to be a perfect finale picks up Snair and lifts him into the powerbomb position. " I am the beast that breaks our bond, brother" Manabu then sadistically powerbombs Snair through his car windshield. Mana makes his way home whilst Snair is seen led in shattered glass, bloody and dazed.*

David: Wowzers, we need to get someone back there NOW! Man o man I sure hope Snair is OK, man, that was bruuutal!

Jay: Fuck yeah it was! We need to lighten the mood, and end the show on a hight note. People.. It's time for everybodies favourite redneck, and his awesome talk show. His guests? The WARFare World Heavyweight champion.. Ryusuke "The Shuriken" Serra, and ... The number one contender to the title many have claimed he doesn't deserve (WHICH IS FUCKING BULLSHIT!).. The JMan!!

[Kashdinero]

*The ring is set up with duct taped lawn chairs and crushed beer cans. A rebel flag hangs in the corner turnbuckle and a metal washtub filled with ice water and beer sits in the center of the ring.

Leonard Ray Beauregard’s music hits as he rides down to the ring on a 4 wheeler.*

LRB: Damn straight, I’m back again. Hell seems like you guys liked me so much they wanted to give The Redneck Rampage another shot. Seems like you sumbitches are gonna give this ol’ redneck a fair shake at TV time. Now, my guests this week really need no introduction, but I’ma give em one anyway. First out is the challenger to the champion, J Man.

It's AC/DC's Back in Black.... That can only mean one thing!!

*Jman gets a huge pop as he makes his way down the ramp; he high fives fans along the way.*

LRB: How you doin’ my man. Next out, the current World Champion, I can’t pronounce his real name so I’ll just call him Shuriken…or maybe Ryu, we’ll see how it works out.

It's the champ. Haters look away.... Now.

*Shuriken makes his way to the ring but is holding the championship on his hands*

LRB: Now I got you two in the center of my ring. Help yourself to a refreshing beverage if you like. *Jman grabs two beers from the tub and sits down.* *Shuriken declines LRB's offer on the beverage*

*LRB puts a pinch of Copenhagen in his lip and offers some to the other men*

LRB: By the way this week’s segment is brought to you by Copenhagen. It satisfies and it's a cure all too... cures coughs, colds, runny nose, guarantees not to rip run or snag, makes conception a wonder and child birth a pleasure. Run on out and get you some today. Now I’ma start with you J-Man and Im’a put it bluntly. Why do you think you deserve a chance to be “The Man” in Jay Bee Dubya?

Jman: A blunt question deserves a blunt answer; I’ve earned it. I worked my way through the Indies, I’ve built a very strong resume’ here in JBW, and on November 6 all that hard work is gonna pay off. No offense to the man sitting next to me here, but I think things have kinda been handed to him. *mixed reaction from the crowd*

LRB: Speakin’ of that…over to you Shuriken. You just blow in here and win the World Title like it ain’t no thing. What the fuck ever happened to workin’ your way up from the bottom huh? You got some connections we need to know about? Is it them yakuza sumbitches I seen on the TV that time?

Shuriken: Mr. Beauregard, I came here for some competition. Nothing more. Though I will agree that creative was much in favor of me. To be honest, I wanted to work savagely to the top but......*looks at the championship* I have this but I haven't earned it. I am supposed to defend this like a champion but I am just a man with a title. And no, Mr. Beauregard, Yakuza has nothing to do with this.

LRB: Now you two have been flappin’ your gums back and forth for a couple of weeks now, J Man if that is your real name, what makes you think you can actually take care of The Champ when the time comes?

Jman: To good ol’ Shuri’ here this is just another main event, just another title defense, but for me…For me, this means everything. This is the shot I’ve been working toward for the better part of the last decade and I’ll be damned if I’m gonna let it slip away. *pop from the crowd*

LRB: Alright, Kung Lao *Jman can be heard saying “I think he’s talking to you”*, do you think you are ready for a challenger the level of J Man?

Shuriken: Of course I am ready for the match against Jman. He has that fire of competition! He has that drive that I seriously want to test. It makes me happy that I get to face such a strong, hard-working, individual such as Jman. I just hope he is ready against me.....he needs to be ready. Always.

LRB: Ya’ll have been flappin’ you’re gums for weeks now but I think the world wants to know, how y’all been preparing for what might be the biggest match of your career. Q Man, this is your chance to step up and win the big one. Ryu, this is your first big title defense since you won the strap. I wanna know how y’all are preppin’ for it.

Jman: I’m working hard but I’m not killing myself. Hitting the weights, doing cardio, and all that shit is important but if I feel like I need to chill out and have a beer *takes a gulp of his beer** that’s exactly what I’m gonna do. Yes, this is the biggest match of my career, but overworking myself is gonna do more harm than good.

Shuriken: Jman.....honestly you are not going to defeat me with just those means. I thought you were better than that. You are lacking something and if you don't have it......you will be defeated very easily. I can make sure of it. Sorry Jman.....but you are gonna lose...

*With that, Jman gets up and gets in the face of Shuriken and starts yelling at him; Shuriken gets up and starts yelling back. After some nose-to-nose verbal sparring, Shuriken takes a few steps back and hits Jman with a swift and impactful kick to the side of the head. Shuriken leaves the ring and heads up the ramp as Lenny Ray picks up a mic*

LRB: Holy shit, fuckin' Jackie Chan kicked his damn head off. How about that? Just another damn day in the trailer park. Well shit folks, that’s all the time they give us this week. I wanna think my guests P Man and Bruce Lee, take you some damn BC Powder for that noggin of yours, it's gonna have a knot on it. Next week’s guest is gonna be the one and only Hank Williams Jr….probably not, but a man can dream dammit. Until next time remember folks, save that Confederate currency cause…

*crowd response* THE SOUTH WILL RISE AGAIN!!!

LRB: Dammit y’all, didn’t your mamas teach y’all it ain’t polite to interrupt!

Jay: Holy shit, JMan just got smoked!! Shuri' baby, ain't fucking ramping no more... JMan, welcome to a world of pain, boy.. Anyway, people watching, on beh-

Silent Bob: On behalf of myself and Jay, I would like to thank everybody from the fans, to Kash, to the fine wrestlers of WARFare.. It has been a blast.. And most of all to you Mr Letterman. We couldn't have done this without you... Uh, David?

David Letterman: Why thank, I uh, I'm a bit choked up here. Um, well, thanks for having me folks, and I look forward to having more JBW wrestlers on my show... For the last time, I'm saying... So long everybody.. This has been JBW

[Rated_R(ob)KO]

Awesome show from what I read Ka$h. I finally had the chance to skim over it before posting.

[Rated_R(ob)KO]

Last post before hand. Gotta have it at the top of the next page. As SES has previously said... OCD and shit lol.

Thank you to my fine crew for pulling out a fantastic show. I really feel this is our best one yet. Lets rock this joint!