JBW's official show thread

[Kashdinero]

A train pulls up onto the stage. The arena is then plunged into darkness.

The loudspeakers then begin playing this audio.



The lights suddenly come back on, and from the back of the arena Carlito and Gail can be seen running down the stairs. They are being followed by two mafia type thugs who are shooting at them. Carlito turns around and fires two shots.

Blam!

Blam!

Both shots hit their intended target - the thugs go down.

Carlito and Gail reach the ring barrier and climb over. They run round the ring, up the ramp and are just about to board the train when..

"Hey, remember me? Benny Blanco from the Bron-"

Ma$$Dinero jumps out of the train.

"MFWTLAAIGWTBTS!"

Ma$$Dinero: And I'm Ma$$Dinero from Fulham, bitch! Carlito deserves his happy fucking ending! Now... Run Carlito, Run and catch the train that will take you to a stryfe free life.

Carlito runs towards the train, but then Ma$$ pulls out his own gun and shoots him. The beat starts...

Thats how I'm going on tonight - K-Jam
None here can deny that you're a - brave man,
but ya' getting smoked like a - glazed ham,
Standing next to Ma$$Dinero boy ya' just a waste man

I'm about to get sick, flip out and go apeshit
'n' kick his arse like it was oldskool 'n' get retro like 8-bit
leave his face covered in the hot foot prints of my Bape's, bitch
... you don't hate me - you hate my papes, kid.
But if you ain't got it.... you aint got it
don't hate me because I could knock you out with my wallet
I might be an alcoholic, high on diabolic chronic
but my actions are masonic, everything I do is historic

Thats how I'm going on tonight - K-Jam
None here can deny that you're a - brave man,
but ya' getting smoked like a - glazed ham,
Standing next to Ma$$Dinero boy ya' just a waste man

The funny kid want's to try a ting wit' the money kid,
but what you don't know is I'll put two in ya' fucking tummy kid
..... And thats suttin that you musn't forget,
fucking with Ma$$ is like playing Russian Roulette
the first squeeze was just a click but it left a buzz in ya' head
the next squeeze could be ya last, bruv, why doesn't it reg?
Understand this, you've got about an hour left as champ,
The fans deserve to have a champ who doesn't constantly wank!

Thats how I'm going on tonight - K-Jam
None here can deny that you're a - brave man,
but ya' getting smoked like a - glazed ham,
Standing next to Ma$$Dinero boy ya' just a waste man

*Ma$$' Ma$$es continue to sing the chorus as he walks down to the ring. He slides under the bottom ropes, climbs the second turnbuckle and blows on his fist before raising it in the air. The fans in the arena go crazy. They begin to cheer his name and.... The lights go out.....

...And this recording plays...



*The light's come back on, and we see K-Jammin on stage sitting on a chair with the initials "KJ" on it, we see a mountain of white powder on the desk, and he starts snorting and snorting and snorting. Then, 10 guys crawl out under the ring with guns and start marching up to K-Jammin. K-Jammin stands up, pulls out a gun and shoots the mother fuckers down! Another 10 guys come from under the ring,



A huge Pyro goes off at each ring post, and the guys fly everywhere!

K-Jammin is still on stage shooting the dead bodies, but sneaks up behind him aiming a shotgun at him, without looking K-Jammin gives the HeadJam to the guy, and shoots him in the head. Music plays, and the lights go out again...



The light's come back on, and Lucy is now by K-Jammin's side, and she begins singing K-Jammins new theme song

He's a sexy boy!

He makes his way to the ring, looking as smug as ever. Start's flexing, and huge pyro's go off all around the arena.

[Kashdinero]

[Kashdinero]

Pat: Unbeeelievable!! These two are still going at an amazing pace, and they're showing no signs of letting up here. Five falls each, and it feels like these two are just getting started... What endurance!!

Dudley: I'll give it to Ma$$, he's proving a lot to me here tonight.

Pat: What!?! Ma$$ has been proving himself around here from day one, Duds! I'd say it was K-Jammin who has done the proving here tonight.

FIVE MINUTES LEFT

*As the announcement rings through the arena, and the anticipation from the fans picks up.

Vicious lariat from Ma$$Dinero!

One.

Two.

Kick out!!!

Ma$$ shows his frustration and slams his fist into the mat.

Ma$$ rises, and looks to the crowd.

They begin chanting his name.

Ma$$-Din-Ero! Ma$$-Din-Ero!!

Ma$$ nods his head, holds up his fist and blows on it.

K-Jam rises to his feet. He is clearly woozy after the lariat.

Ma$$ swings!

"MYFWTLAAIGWTBST-Nooo!!!"

K-Jam ducks.

Kidney punch - Ma$$ is hurt.

Headjam!!!

One.

Two.

Three.

Six falls to five!

Dudley: YESSS!!! No way Ma$$ can come back from that. Theres three minutes left on the clock, and we still have over thirty seconds of the rest period.

Pat: I'm gonna have to agree with ya there. Sadly. Both men have fought well here. No doubt. But that last HeadJam? It nearly took Ma$$' head off! Still, the optimist in me isn't counting him out just yet. After all, this guy dug himself out of a grave that K-Jam's former boss made fo- Oh, the rest period is over. It's time for the twelfth fall. Wow.

K-Jammin runs straight towards Ma$$.

Ma$$ meets him in the middle of the ring, and meets him with another lariat just as K-Jammin had swung a lariat of his own.

Double Lariat!!

TWO MINUTES LEFT

Pat: Come on Ma$$!!

Dudley: Get up, my saviour, get up and finish this! You can do it! I know you ca- NO!!

Ma$$ drapes his arm over K-Jam.

One

Two
Two and a half!!!

Both men slowly get to their feet. Ma$$ rises first and meets K-Jam with a knee to the face.

Irish whip.

K-Jam ducks a London 'bo. Hits the ropes again and leaps into the air nailing Ma$$ with a flying forearm.

Both men are down.

Nip up!

The crowd actually cheer for K-Jam. K-Jam tells them to go fuck themselves and gives them a classy middle finger.

Nip up!

The crowd go crazy!!

"MFWTLAAIGWTBTS!"

One.

Two.

Three.

Six falls a piece!!

Dudley: Nooo!! How could this happen!?!

Pat: It happened because K-Jam just can't help himself when it comes to these fans. He hates them... But, MAN, is the suspenseful!

Dudley: Are you kidding me, Pat? What happens if theres a draw? Man, I just shit a brick.... Ooohhh, there goes another one.

The THIRTIENTH fall begins.

ONE MINUTE LEFT!!

Both men look at the clock; their minds clearly racing. K-Jam does the thing that everybody should have known he would do, and runs out of the ring, he grabs the belt off of the time keeper, and attempts to flee.

Ma$$ cuts him off with Yakuza kick!

Pat: Oh my, what a boot to the face! Wait a minute! Pat, its Roman!!

RomanFlare jumps over the barrier and up onto the ring apron - distracting the ref.

Dudley: All my Christmases have come at onc- WAIT A MINUTE! Theres another RomanFlare... And another!! And another!! It's raining Romes!

The four RomanFlare robots distract the referee. He is as confused as everybody else.

Well, apart from the real RomanFlare who jumps over the barrier behind the announcers desk. The distracted referee fails to see him strike Ma$$ with a pair of knuckle dusters in the back of the head.

BLAM!!

Roman throws Ma$$ back into the ring.

He then helps up K-Jam and rolls him into the ring.

K-Jam spots Ma$$. Ma$$ is out of hit.

HeadJam!

K-Jam, looks at the clock.

13..

He then reaches down and lifts Ma$$ to his feet.

10...

9...

8...

HEADJAM!!!

6...

K-Jam makes the cover.

4.

Dudley: One!!!

3...


Dudley: Two!!


2...

Dudley: THREE!!!!! Yeeeesssss!!! Yes! Yes!! Yeeeessss!!! My saviour has done it! This is the greatest night ever! K-Jammin retains the Mayhem World Heavyweight championship seven falls to six!!! We're oh so NOT WORTHY!!

[Kashdinero]

Ma$$ begins to stir.

He rises to his feet. Slowly.

K-Jammin and RomanFlare look at each other, and they both have the same thought.

TWO ON ONE BEAT DOWN!!

Pat: This is disgusting! K-Jam was never going to win this one cleanly, and now he's showing his true colours with this despicable showing. I'm ashamed to call him our champion.

Dudley: I'm ashamed that you haven't figured out that your not worthy.

Both K-Jam and Romes continue stomping on Ma$$' head, back, chest, shoulders... Basically all over.

The beat down continues...

And continues..

And continues until....

This music hits!!

Pat: I know that theme song! Dudley - could it be?

Dudley: I really hope not!

All eyes are on the entrance curtain.

After a thirty second wait.... He returns.

Pat: It's PSYCHO SIAKI!!! He's back!!!

Dudley: Noooo!!! He should still be in prison!!

The former two-time JBW champion stands on the stage for a second or two. The look on his face lets everyone know how happy he is to be back.

He sprints down the ramp.

K-Flare seem ready to take him on.

Siaki slides under the bottom rope, and is met by two of the toughest that JBW has to offer and they begin stomping on his back.

Siaki shrugs it off and nails them both with a solid punch to the face. K-Jam hits the mat, but the fresher RomanFlare manages to stay on his feet. Another solid right puts him on his back.

K-Jam gets back up and jumps on Siakis back - he locks in a sleeper, but Siaki flips him over his head.

K-Jam lands hard, but Roman is now up and he mimcs K-Jam and also jumps on Siaki's back and locks in a sleeper.

Its synched in tight.

K-Jam gets to his feet and approaches Siaki, but Ma$$ is up!

"MFWTLAAIGWTBTS!"

The champs down and out!

Siaki then runs backwards with Romes on his back, crushing him into the turnbuckle.

Siaki ducks and Ma$$ runs in with a big clothesline which takes Roman right over the top rope and on to the arena floor.

Siaki then picks up K-Jam and throws him over the top rope as well.

The bad guys regroup on the floor, and then make their way up the ramp to safety.

Siaki and Ma$$ look at each other, and Ma$$ is positively beaming. Siaki returns the smile and then they both slide out of the ring and give chase to K-Flare, who pick up their pace and head through the curtain. A second or two later Ma$$ and Siaki follow them.

Pat: Holy shit! That was an amazing match, Dudley! Siaki is back!!

Dudley: I'm more interested in the fact that my other favourite wrestler of all time -RomanFlare- has finally returned! Annnnd... K-Jammin is still the champ!!! Serra and JMan will have a tough job following that!

[Kashdinero]

It's JMan Balboa!!

*Jman, in full boxing gear, walks through the curtain to one of the biggest pops JBW has ever heard. To the sounds of 50,000 screaming fans and a song that fits those fans perfectly, Jman shadow boxes his way down the ramp. When he reaches the bottom, Jman stops and takes it all in….the noise, the emotion, all of it….and a huge smile is shown on his face. Jman runs the rest of the way to the ring, slides under the bottom rope, takes off his “boxing gear”, and throws it into the crowd. The music stops as the hometown kid signals the fans to get louder; they happily oblige and the place is literally shaking now. Jman has a seat on the top rope, soaks in the incredible noise, and waits…*

*the lights of the arena go out*



*Ryusuke "Shuriken" Serra enters by elevator at the stage, the spotlights focus on his entrance. Ryusuke is wearing his old mask, a dark trenchcoat, and the Warfare World Heavyweight Championship. He slow walks towards the ring with loud boo's, finds a kid and gives him his mask. The pro JMan crowd boo even louder, and the kid throws the mask back at Serra. Finally, he enters the ring and stares directly at Jman -to another loud chorus of boo's- without losing sight of him. The lights return to normal, and the crowd start popping like crazy.*



Peter: JMan hasn't got a rednecks chance in harlem of escaping this! No one gets out of Serra's Gogoplata!

Joe: You're right, Peter. Once Ryusuke has this move locked in, he doesn't let go. Off of the top of my head I can't think of one man who has escaped it. Not one.

Quagmire: Me neither. Guys, I'm not being gay or anything, but you all know how much I like asphyxiating myself, and I would love for Shuri' to damn near choke the life out of m- Hey look!! JMan, is inching towards the ropes!

Shuriken sinks in the hold deeper as JMan begins trying to get to the ropes.

Shuriken squeezes tighter, but JMan keeps pulling towards the ropes.

Shuriken cannot believe it when JMan gets his foot on the bottom rope. He breaks the hold, and lays on his back - catching his breath.

JMan slowly begins to rise, and he manages to get onto his knees.

Shuriken gets to his feet far faster than the hometown boy and swings his right foot.

Buzzsaw Kick!!

One.

Two.

Kick out!

The look on Ryusuke "The Shuriken" Serra's face says it all - he can't believe it.

Neither can the fans, and they begin chanting.

"Lets go JMan - Fuck you Shuri"

"Lets go JMan - Fuck you Shuri"

A smile creeps across Ryusuke's face. At first it is one of mild amusement but it soon turns into an evil one.

He grabs JMan by the hair and lifts him to his feet.

He hoists him into a firemans-carry, and launches him into the air while at the same time he falls backwards and raises both his knees.. JMan lands hard - gut first.

Seppuku!

One.

Two.
Two and a half!

Ryusuke lets out an enraged howl! He is fuming with his inability to put JMan down for the three count.

He gets to his feet and pats his knee - signifying the end for Jman.

JMan is on his knees.

Ryusuke rushes in and thrusts his knee forward.

Boma Ye!!

Joe: No!! JMan rolls with the impact, and Serra's off balanced!

Quick boot to the midsection by JMan, before he rolls up Serra in a small package. Its perfectly executed.

Peter: This could be it... One... Two...

Quagmire: Serra kicks out! The champ isn't going down that easily, JMan! You need to earn thi- OH MY GOD!!! "Great Match, Lets Go Eat!"

One.

Kick out!!

The crowd are shocked!

Super shocked.

Joe: He kicked out at one! He kicked out at one! How did he manage that!?!? He's back on his feet? This man is amazin- AGAIN!!

JMan hits the second "Great Match, Lets Go Eat!" of the match. He goes for the cover.

One.

Two.

Thr- KICK OUT!!

JMan and his hometown crowd cannot believe it!

His shocked look becomes one of determination.

The champion rises to his feet. The boo's that were reigning down on him earlier have now lessened and a large percentage of the crowd are actually chanting his name.

JMan looks around at the crowd, and its clear that he is feeling the same amount of respect that they are. This doesn't stop him from bouncing off of the ropes and nailing the champion with a third "Great Match, Lets Go Eat!"

The fans explode and begin chanting.

"Lets Go Eat!"

"Lets Go Eat!"

"Lets Go Eat!"

JMAN MAKES THE COVER.

Joe: This has to be it... ONE!!

Quagmire: TWO...

Peter: THREEEEE!!!! JMAN HAS JUST BEATEN SHURIKEN BLADE!!!! Wow oh Wow oh Wow!! I never thought I'd see the day! This guy rose up from nothing I tell ya'. Nothing. And now there he is, standing in the middle of that ring. A Champion. And he did it in front of all of his family and friend watching him... Well done, JMan. It's time to go eat.

The referee brings the JBW WARFare WORLD Heavyweight championship into the ring.

Ryusuke takes it.

The crowd boo.

He then extends the belt to JMan.

JMan takes it.

He stares at it, while the fans chant his name.

He wells up a little, but quickly stiffens that upper lip -Gives Ryusuke a nod of respect- and raises the belt high above his head to the loudest pop in the history of JBW

[samoan619]

*Showdown New Theme: Tech N9ne – The Industry is Punks*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLIWGOCXJW0

Sly: Hello everyone this is Sly coming live from our new home, the exclusive Showdown Arena in Los Angeles, CA. We had a crazy PPV last weekend as so many changes have come in effect since then.. We have That One Creepy Guy as our new GM, our dear beloved R(ob) was fired along with everybody else Showdown related besides myself *dusts shoulder off*.. We also got to see Kevin Matthews win the Showdown Heavyweight Championship, Loki & Aeriel capture the tag titles, plus Redrum defeats Caesar to show why he is the champion of all TV, and Avidico retires the European title.. That doesn’t even include the whole Showdown card from New Horizons!! It’s a new era here and I just don’t know what to expect..

*T1CG’s theme and video hits the Jabetron*



*The crowd is booing T1CG as he walks to the ring*

Sly: I haven’t seen this much heat since Tommy Thunder tried to sign with the JBW.. T1CG is now in the building and he is about to address the Showdown crowd for the very first time..

T1CG: Oh I love the sound of your despair!! It’s amazing isn’t it?? You guys yell Boooooo!! But your heart is weeping Boooo hooo hoo.. Its ok children, we won’t be playing our special games today.. I am here to welcome you to the new Showdown!! The Showdown Arena here in Los Angeles was my select choice for our exclusive venue to stage these events.. But I bet you didn’t know that this used to be the largest porn theatre in the world!! Peewee Herman, George Michael, Eddie Murphy, and Touchy Feely Turner were all great human beings that used to blow their loads off here.. But let me not get too deep into the history of this sexually deviant establishment, I wanted to kickstart the show and bring in our new announcer, a life partner for our dear friend Sly………………

*T1CG smiles creepily into the camera and then BOOM!! Kevin Matthews theme plays as he walks through the curtains to the stage with the Showdown Heavyweight Championship over his shoulder*

Matthews: Wow, congratulations you creepy piece of shit!! You give me a title shot and then interfere in what was already destined to happen.. Don’t think you helped me with my match at New Horizons or that I owe you a damn thing, because I truly don’t!! I kept asking myself all week, what does it take to get rid of you once and for all from this company? Do I have to build a bonfire outside of the arena and throw you in so we can watch you burn on live television, just to have the network throw us off the air for good.. I killed you before T1CG and I will kill you again!! Have the company fine me for misconduct and murder. As much as that sounds pleasant right now, I will give you a chance.. *shakes his head side to side*Fuck the chance, since you just can't stop calling me your twin.. There are other things that I won't mention because I was told there are kids in the building tonight. So tonight, I will wrestle a rematch with the former champion Daniel May to prove this is truly my championship, and I swear to God if you get near me in my match tonight I will end you in the very spot you stand in. I sure hope you understand what I said, because if you didn't I will do everything in my power to kill you and get rid of you and move on with my life without having to move 10 times in a year and change my phone number every week because you've got a stalking obsession over me. And to my opponent Daniel May, since i'm in a really bad mood tonight, you should be pulling out a piece of paper and begin writing your final will and testament, because if you're not dead after tonight's match, i’m 100% sure you won’t be walking!!

T1CG: Oh Kevin, how I love you so!! You can have your match with May, its fine by me but do not try to sexually entice me with death threats.. The thought of you killing me already gives my tiny pecker a hard on but remember mine is an innie so its not very noticeable.. But let’s not make this about us twin brother.. I was trying to introduce the new announcer and here he is… MR LARRY ZBYSKO!!!

*Larry Zbysko walks into and bumps the Showdown champion as he walks to the announcers table.. Matthews thinks about attacking the old drunk but decides to turn around and head to the back*

Sly: Why in the fuck would T1CG go and grab an alcoholic loser like Zbysko!?!? This is an outrage!!

*Zbysko puts the headphones on and sits in his chair*

Larry: Shut your piehole you pizza eating pasta boy!!

Sly: Who the hell do you think you are!?!?

*Hard slap to the face of Sly*

Larry: I said shut your pie hole, the ratings just went up 2 points and I haven’t even drank a beer yet… Well, I haven’t drank a beer but beers in the plural sense, sure..

Sly: Maybe I was out of line, welcome Zbysko, welcome to Showdown..

Larry: You don’t welcome me, I’m the legend around here, not some two bit Jericho loving announcer.. And since we’re speaking of that punk kid, Jericho, I’ll tell you that boy, he’s going nowhere.. He’ll never be a main eventer..

Sly: Actually he’s a multi-time world champion, and has main evented many big PPV events.

*Another hard slap to the face of Sly*

Larry: Don’t correct me, don’t correct me ever..

*Sly rubs his cheek*

Sly: Fine, fine let’s get on to our first match of the night, Trips88 will be facing IGetWild with some one on one action..

Larry: One on one action?? Psst who are you Pat Patterson, fun boy?? The men go to war in the squared circle, one on one action is for the fags..

Sly: Oh my *sighs*, we’re definitely getting fined for this..

*Trips88 theme hits*



Larry: Now this Trips88 guy, I like him, he’s got a tough look.

Sly: Yes, Trips88 is one tough JBW original.. He’s been here since the start

Larry: Nothing is original in pro wrestling anymore you greasy shit, originality died when they took me off TV.. And that’s not
the reason why I like him.. I like him because he looks like he knows where to score some coke, and when I say coke..

Sly: We don’t really wanna know Larry..

*Hard Slap to Sly’s face*

Larry: I bet you know now..

Sly: Point taken *rubs face*

[samoan619]

*The lights in the arena turn red as IGetWild’s theme hits and flames arise from the stage. He steps through the inferno with a seven bladed sword holstered behind his back. He pulls out the sword and performs a kata on stage, putting his martial arts abilities on display.. He then poses into a war stance, staring towards the ring with fire in his eyes.. Another large wall of flames burst up from behind IGetWild and he then rushes to the ring*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CdJY...eature=related

Sly: What an entrance for the former NWL champion IGetWild.. I see that T1CG has spared no expense for our talents on Showdown..

Larry: What do you want from the ring??

Sly: What do you mean what do I want from the ring??

Larry: The chef from Beni-Hana is in the ring, and I really need some stir fry to counter balance this bottle of Jack, I drank during the entrances..

Sly: How about we just sit down because this match is going to begin..



Sly: What a powerful kick to the head from IGetWild as he destroyed Trips88 coming down from mid-air..

Larry: Yeah that’s the type of kick that could make you sober..

Sly: Haha I have no arguments with that Larry..

Larry: Oh it looks like Trips88 is knocked out cold..

Sly: Yeah he’s definitely not getting up..

Larry: He looks like me every morning before I wake up..


*IGetWild picks up a mic*

IGetWild: Hello Los Angeles, you filthy pit of smog and corruption!! Did you all see what happened here to this gutter rat?!? He is not of the same pedigree as I, Lee Gun Kim..

Sly: Who?

Lee Gun Kim: That’s right, my name is Lee Gun Kim.. You all knew IGetWild, but that was never me.. He was a character for a show and I am no actor.. I am the Korean Slaughterhouse, master of the Seven Branched Sword.. I have been blessed by my ancestors and I shall not let down their cause.. I never had to feel your poverty or your pain, I am above you all.. My family has been wealthy for generations upon generations, I don’t need the JBW!! I am here to prove a point, and that is that all of you in this crowd, think I am not the superior.. This world was given to the Korean bloodline, we are meant to be masters of you all.. Defy me and I will make sure that you will know the true meaning of what superior is..


*Lee Gun Kim drops the mic onto the face of Trips88, who is knocked out on the canvas. He walks up the ramp as the crowd boos him, all of a sudden T1CG’s face pops up on the Jabetron*

T1CG: Oh look at Trips unconscious!! Is that blood leaking from his brow?? I love it!! I must have him for my Erotic Circus!! Bring him to me, he will be perfect for the transformation process..


*The lights cut out for a few seconds, and then the lights re-appear with SinCara standing in the ring with Trips88 over his shoulder. The lights cut off and come back on with both Cara and Trips no longer in sight*

Sly: I swear SinCara is going through some kind of Undertaker phase or something.. Where is he taking these guys??

Larry: Probably to the gloryhole..

Sly: I really hope its nothing like a gloryhole.. I would never wish anything like that on anyone.. First it was G-Scorp and now,
Trips88.. This is some off the wall shit Larry!!

Larry: I did a similar storyline back in 1984, it ended with Orndorff being in the GloryHole.. We all won in the end because there was a pile of coke waiting for us at our hotel after the show.. I swear there was a blizzard front in my nostrils, I called myself the weather man that night..

Sly: What a flashback (that I could give two shits about)..

Larry: Did you say something China-Man??

Sly: Yes I did, We’ll be back after this commercial break


*Slap to Sly’s Face*



Sly: This is Sly back here at JBW Showdown with Larry Zbysko.. The props are all up and it's time.. We’re gonna have to take a visit to Kayden’s Korner, with his special guest Shining Light.. So let's get on with the show..


*The lights go out and a spotlight comes on to Kayden James with his arms outstretched like a cross*

*Kayden James drops his arms quickly and fire explodes out all around the stage and the JABEtron*

*Kayden James Theme*


Kayden James: Well, well, well it looks like I was right....the little Judas Shining Light failed at winning the belt from Daniel May and Kevin Matthews at the PPV. You see this is what happens when you turn your back on God Judas, this is what happens when you live your life by wicked means. You've gotten what you deserve, and as the Bible states about Judas Iscariot in Matthew 26:24 " it had been good for that man if he had not been born". Hang yourself by a tree limb boy, you'll do the world a great justice. *smirks* But that's not the reason I came out here for Kayden's Korner tonight. The reason I came out tonight is because of you *points to the crowd and get's booed*. I had written you all off as unsavable vermon of the Earth, and I very well may still be right but my God has told me to give you a chance. If you pick up your cross and follow me, I'll lead you to my God's pure love. Only through me will this peace be achievable. Like the bible says in....

*Shining Light's music interrupts*


Shining Light (as he gets into the ring): I had a feeling that you would mention me Kayden... and to be honest, I'm quite glad you did. For it has given me chance to, as you people say, get something off my chest. Yes, I did lose to Kevin Matthews, but I'm not embarrassed! I'm not upset! I'm not even angry! Because I have realized, thanks to help from my Lord and Savior, that my problem doesn't lie with the title anymore... It lies with you Kayden James!

It is now my job to get rid of you, it is now my job to shut you up, and it is definitely now my job to hurt you! You are the Devil Kayden James, and the Devil is the Lord's greatest enemy!

Kayden James: I am no Devil....boy, I am the sword of my God's salvation. I am the fire of God's fury sent her to cleanse the unholy! This delusion that has blinded you Judas will be the delusion that puts you in the ground, I have no problems starting my holy mission with you! You failed at beating that simpleton Daniel May, you would never stand a chance against me as long as my God is on my side. Now if you'll kindly leave MY ring, I was addressing my followers...

*Shining turns to face the Showdown Crowd*

Shining Light: And you people, you are all advocates to the Devil! I see you watching, and clinging onto every word he says... and it makes me SICK! I have been given the mission to get rid of Kayden James, and believe me when I say that I will have no hesitation in bringing you down with him! It's better now, than on Judgement Day when the Lord himself decides your fate! But while we're all here, why don't I start my mission..... now!

*Shining Light catches Kayden James off guard with a flurry of punches, driving him down to one knee. Kayden James hits Shining in the stomach as a counter then gets a flurry of his own in before security runs into the ring to seperate them. Once seperated Kayden James points his finger at Shining Light while screaming "you will pay for that Judas, you will pay!" while Shining Light screams "You are the Devil Kayden James, I will end you!!*

Sly: Such hatred between the Archangel and Shining Light.. I always thought religion was about love and forgiveness.. It looks like we haven’t even broke the barrier on these two, this rivalry has just begun..

Larry: Who cares, I hate church..

Sly: Well you’re not at church, you’re at the Showdown Arena..

Larry: Well I hate the Showdown Arena like I hate church.. All this religious bullshit reminds me about how we all get scammed at church..

Sly: Should I even ask why you think the church is scamming us??

Larry: They say they give you wine but its always grape juice.. Church is not rehab, if it was it would be called rehab.. Take it from me, I wrestled in the bible, look it up..

Sly: How about we just take a look backstage, and see who’s preparing for the next upcoming match..

[samoan619]

*We get a shot of Broc and Dave Sullivan in the locker room *


Broc: you do know that if it weren't for you we would still be champs right now right

DS: alright seriously can we please stop bitching and focus on tonight

Broc: well we wouldn't have to if you would have supported the team earlier

DS: okay seriously shut the fuck up

Broc: why should I, I've carried this team since day 1 with no help what so ever and all you've done since we decided to be team is lose just like you have your whole life, all you ever do is lose

DS: okay that's it

*Dave Sullivan jumps out of his seat and tackles Broc to the ground, they both just keep rolling on each other punching, and rolling across the floor, just then Mike Tomlin appears in the locker room*


MT: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS DOING!!!

*as soon as Dave and Broc here this they jump up to their feet and listen to what coach Tomlin has to say*


MT: you guys have a chance to win gold and all you're doing is arguing with each other? what if before Super Bowl 43 Santonio Holmes and Hines Ward continually argued over who would get the ball more in the game? we would have lost and Santonio never would have had his moment.

Broc: oh I see what you're trying to say, I'm like the Santonio Holmes, the future of the team, and Sully is like Ward, he's done and all he's doing is hurting the team

*Mike Tomlin then slaps Broc across the face*


MT: no that's not what I'm saying, I'm saying you two need to work together for the better of the team do you understand

Broc and Dave: YES SIR!

MT: alright then no holding back out there, okay? work together, make quick tags, and hit hard, alright, win on the 3, 1....2...3

All: WIN!!!

MT: ALRIGHT GO GET EM'

*Broc and Sullivan rush out the locker room as we hear a large thud.. The cameraman runs out the locker room to see Caesar hitting RedRum with an aluminum bat*


Caesar: Im gonna show you domination!! This is my path to the top!! You think you can prevent me from conquering the JBW?!?!

*Caesar begins to wail on the giant RedRum until security and police officers come to break it up, Caesar backs away before he could be apprehended*


Larry: Now that’s how you become a champion.. You take your adversary to the limits.. Why wrestle the match when you can destroy him beforehand.. Its helped me throughout my career, and I mean my whole career..

Sly: What a disgusting act from Caesar, we really hope our TV champion will be alright..

Larry: You’re a fucking pissbag Sly.. You hope our TV champion will be alright?? You sit there and be pretty while I do the commentating you fucking mark.

Sly: *ignores the comment* Besides the commotion, we had Steelers Head Coach, Mike Tomlin, give a pep talk to the former champs, Broc & Dave Sullivan.. Will a Superbowl caliber pep talk be whats needed for the Pittsburgh natives??

*Broc and Dave Sullivan’s theme hits*



Sly: I can feel the determination of these two.. These guys were our tag champs before and I believe that it could happen again..

Larry: Not tonight though

Sly: Why?

Larry: Because the Steelers suck!!

Sly: You do know that the Steelers are considered an NFL Dynasty right?? They’ve seen plenty of rings and trophies..

*Slap to the face of Sly*


Larry: The Steelers suck Sly, they suck like your face when you’re around T1CG’s ass..

*Loki & Aeriel’s theme hits*



Sly: And here our are tag champs.. They turned their lives around, moved to the Showdown brand and won gold.. These guys truly deserve this title run..

Larry: That Aeriel is one hot broad..

Sly: He’s not a woman..

Larry: Anyone with mascara and lipstick on is a woman, Christopher Daniels is hot too, well for a bald chick.. To quote the Unwritten Alcoholic Law, if it wears make up, you can fuck it..

Sly: Do you kiss your wife, mother, and kids with that mouth??

Larry: Im divorced…….From everyone..

Sly: That’s not a good look Larry.. I can go all day about how wrong that is, but lets move on to this championship match..



Larry: I gotta drink to that!! Broc and Dave Sullivan won the titles back!! These two have to be my favorite talents on the roster..

Sly: I thought you said they sucked???

Larry: Why would I say that you fucking milk dud!!

Sly: Because you said the Steelers suck!!

Larry: That was like 3 years ago?? They lost a spread..

Sly: It was actually 10 minutes ago and there are no Friday night games in the NFL.. But im not going to go any further with that.. Let’s move on to Showdown’s exclusive reporter, Adrian Roberts, he’s in the back with former Showdown Heavyweight Champion, Daniel May..

*We see former Showdown Heavyweight Champion, Daniel May, in the locker room with Showdown reporter, Adrian Roberts*


Adrian: Adrian Roberts with Showdown Backstage and we are lucky to get a word from the former champ, Daniel May!! You are viewed widely as one of the greatest to grace the Showdown ring, we need to know how you feel about your loss at New Horizons and your rematch tonight.. Is this title win for Kevin Matthews nothing but a sham?? Are you ready for tonight??

*Daniel May is seen with a frustrated look on his face and nodding his head*


May: Was it a sham...WHAT DO YOU THINK! Of course it was a sham...I should have known something was up when T1CG was announced as the new GM of showdown...The bloody psycho added Kevin to the match THEN COST ME THE TITLE!!! NO im not happy over what happened at New Horizons.. I don't know what the deal is with this weirdo, I don't know why JBW staff would put him as the GM of showdown..heck maybe he has a problem with me, If so THEN FINE!! If the new GM wants to play games and cost me my match, its all good, because tonight i revoked my rematch clause to go one on one with Kevin Matthews..So to answer your question Adrian I am ready for tonight.. I’m gonna teach this crybaby Kevin a lesson in what it actually means to be a JBW wrestler.. Heck!!0 NOW that you've gotten a contract, Matthews, you cant hide anymore.. Its time to prove what all the fuss is about besides having your little rally's outside the arenas acting like your the best thing to hit JBW *Daniel may looks down and smirks* Well here’s a news flash fuck face, im gonna show you tonight why you were brought into JBW.. He’s just another stepping stone on my way up the JBW ladder... NOW Adrian i would LOVE to sit here and chat about how much i hate both of these nut jobs...BUT i got to get ready for my match and WIN back my SHOWDOWN HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!!!

[samoan619]

Sly: Oh I can’t wait to see what Daniel May has in store for Kevin Matthews tonight.. He wasn’t the Showdown Heavyweight Champion for no reason, actually he had that match in the bag..

Larry: Quit crying Sly!! What the fuck are you, a man or a dime a dozen dame??

Sly: I’m just saying that Matthews was basically given the..

*Sly gets smacked in the head*

Larry: You’re a bleeding vagina Sly, remember that.. You will always be a dame, just like I will always be the Living Legend.. It’s the forces of nature, its like having heroin on a spoon, the forces of nature is going to light that spoon up.. No lighter about it..

Sly: Forces of nature indeed *look of disgust in his eyes but nods as a good gesture to his abrasive co-worker*.. Well it looks like it’s time for our final commercial break, we will be back with the Showdown main event, Kevin Matthews vs Daniel May!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDk5QOb1GRc

Larry: Hand me that razor, would ya??

Sly: *Looks at Zbysko with panic and mouths "we are live" to him* And we’re back here at JBW Showdown and it looks like the main event for tonight is all set up..

Larry: Next time you mouth something to me, i’m gonna buy you a first class ticket to Larryland *Flexes wrinkly flabby bicep muscle*..

*The lights dim and Daniel May’s music begins to play in the arena*



Sly: We heard earlier from the former champion, he is going to prove that this Matthews title victory is a sham.. The rematch clause has been revoked and we are going to get a PPV quality show here!!

Larry: His music gives me a headache..

Sly: Your recreational drug and alcohol usage is probably the real reason for that headache..

*Larry swings but Sly ducks this time*

Larry: *Smiles at Sly* I like that you bucket head son of a..

Sly: *interrupting* And it looks like the champion is coming out now!!

*Kevin Matthews’ theme music plays as the stage and ramp area become engulfed in smoke. The lights flash on and off as the silhouette of Matthews is shown while the smoke clears. He lifts one hand in the air and then BOOM!! A large explosion as Matthews heads down to the ring with his new title over his shoulder*



Sly: What an entrance for Kevin Matthews!! Him and Lee Gun Kim have upped the ante for the Showdown roster.. But honestly I think Mr. Matthews might have to say good-bye to the title.. Daniel May is furious and that can all be put into the ass kicking he’s about to give Matthews..

Larry: What do you know about winning a match?? You never been in the ring.. Fucking mark actions all show long, you’re supposed to be an announcer not a fucking know it all mark!!

Sly: And you’re supposed to sell these guys to the crowd, but I can see you know nothing about…

*Larry swings again, Sly ducks, Larry swings his other hand “Slap”, then follows up with another “Slap”*

Larry: I think im beginning to like this job.. Its like having Schiavone around again!! I really miss slapping the shit out of that putz..

Sly: Well we’re about to miss this match, if we keep remembering about your illustrious career..

*The bell rings and the match is on its way*



*Daniel May throws Matthews into the corner. Matthews knocks down the ref on his way to the turnbuckles. May runs up to Matthews and connects with the Shining Wizard. Matthews drops to the floor as Daniel May runs towards the ropes. As he whips off the ropes, a masked man comes from under the ring. The mystery guy grabs and caresses May’s thigh.. May stops and grabs the hand to put it into a modified wristlock. The mystery guy then grabs May’s nether regions with his other hand. He lets go and then turns it into a low blow. May goes down and the mystery guy slips right back under the ring. Kevin Matthews gets up and hits May with his finisher*



*The ref gains consciousness and begins the count*

Ref: 1… 2…. 3!!

*The bell rings as Kevin Matthews gets up immediately. He grabs his title to celebrate his victory and begins to showboat in front of the crowd*

Sly: This is the second time in a seven day radius that this has happened to May!! Matthews keeps his title!! I hope this guy is happy, because this match was definitely not earned!! If anything May was screwed!!

Larry: Bret screwed Bret, Sly..

Sly: Sure he did *rolling his eyes*, once again May had this match in his favor only to be fondled by someone who is built a lot more athletically than T1CG..

Larry: So you noticed his build huh??

Sly: Yeah he’s more fit than our creepily out of shape GM..

Larry: I knew you were a fucking fun boy!! Was that you in the mask fondling Daniel May??

Sly: Very funny Zbysko.. All I can say is that we had one hell of a Showdown tonight and I don’t have one lightbulb of a clue of what is to come next week..

Larry: When you find that lightbulb let me know, because I need it… for…. You know… Crack..

Sly: Well im just going to leave it at that then people!! Thank you for watching JBW Friday night Showdown, and we will see you again next week!!

[samoan619]

*Showdown Theme: Tech N9ne – The Industry is Punks*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLIWGOCXJW0

Sly: We’re coming live from the Showdown Arena in Los Angeles, California!! This is FRIDAY NIGHT SHOWDOWN!! I’m Sly Sylvesterstein!!

Larry: And I am the living legend, Larry Zbysko.. I have to put it out there Sly, what a Showdown it was last week.. I’m talking about the unscripted shoot and the pure uncut action!!


Sly: Yes it was Larry.. Kevin Matthews, Daniel May, T1CG, The Archangel Kayden James, Shining Light, RedRu..

*Sly gets the shit slapped out of him*

Larry: Im talking about my personal drug welcoming party I had during the show, you middle eastern camel fuck!! They slug it out in the ring and I unscriptedly shoot some heroin, whew!! It was pure uncut action, I tell you!!

Sly: *look of disgust* I’m pretty sure every show is going to be a personal drug party for Larry Zbysko..

Larry: Exactly.. *Pours powder in his palm and smothers it in his own face* Now this is what you call a Showdown!!

Sly: Well let’s get this show on the roll with some action!! T1CG has a set up a new talent intiative for the Showdown brand... Each show for 3 weeks we will start with a triple threat match with up and coming talent.. The battle for a contract here at Showdown!!

Larry: I say fuck them and feed them fish Sly.. We don’t need any new talent in this business!! This is Professional Wrestling, not amateur night at the comedy club!! So basically what you’re saying is, that one punk kid just gets a job here each week!! They’re taking work away from real workers like me and Bobby Backlund!! Give me a chance to run the roster, it’ll be AWA 1985 all over again!!

Sly: *Cringes* Well to let it be known, I didn’t say one person will get the job.. The person who is pinned or submits in the match will not get the contract..

Larry: TWO!?!?!?

Sly: *nods* Two..

*Slap to the face of Sly*

Larry: Much better..

*Danny Tatum’s Theme hits as he makes his way to the ring*



Sly: Danny Tatum is a former boxer who would constantly lose in his matches.. His temper was uncontrollable at times, and was often the reason to his many losses; due to disqualification.. Fortunately T1CG was in attendance and thought his attitude and charisma was perfect for JBW.. Let’s see if he can hold his own to keep a job here at Showdown!!

Larry: He lost all his matches though!! You motherfuckers just don’t get it!!

Sly: Due to disqualification, Larry.. You know the thing that would happen if the ref seen what was going on before you would win your matches..

Larry: Haha, you’re on the ball today tortilla maker!! I like it..

*Alexi “The Android” Asminov’s theme plays while he walks emotionless to the ring*



Larry: Now this man has no emotion.. Just look at him, you could see the killer in his eyes..

Sly: Yes, Alexi “The Android” Asimov is a former Olympic gold medalist in the pugilist arts.. He then moved on to kickboxing,
where he won the World Title in his native Moscow. They call him “The Android” because of his emotionless face and merciless fighting style..

Larry: Borga had that same look too.. *smiles in memory of Borga* He really did love his midget transvestite prostitutes.. He would bodyslam them in the tub then stomp their brains out, *wipes tear from eye* a true class act indeed..

Sly: Sounds like a real role model to society *rolls eyes*…

Larry: He really was Sly, he really was…

*lights dim as Sasquatch’s theme plays, a large bearded man with overalls comes down to the ring*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cw09KiA9cXc

Sly: Sasquatch is 6 foot 7 inches, 420 lbs of boonie America!! He is actually the son/nephew/cousin of wrestling legend, Hillbilly Jim!!

Larry: Hillbilly Jim is a backwood scumbag son of a bitch!! How the hell is this fat monster the son, nephew and cousin of Hillbilly Jim?!?

Sly: Well that’s how it works where they come from.. Hillbilly’s wife is his sister which is also his cousin because his mother is his aunt and his father is his grandfather..

Larry: Oh yeah that makes sense..

Sly: Well the wo…

*Slap to the face of Sly*

Larry: Shut the fuck up already, the match is about to begin!!