OFFICIAL EWNCW Rage Thread

[Tommy Thunder]

CP: We are less than 4 weeks away from our biggest ppv of the year, ‘Destiny’s Calling’, and we are gearing up here tonight for another episode of Monday night Rage, live from Phoenix Arizona!! We have 3 matches already announced for tonight. We will find out which 2 superstars will advance to the final of out no.1 contender tournament. God’s golden son Rich Cranium will take on the outspoken Tommy Thunder in our opener tonight, and Silver Cena; ‘the Rapping Hyena’ will take on the EWNCW Ignition champion King Strem in our main event! Who will advance to the final and be crowned king of the cage? I’m alongside my broadcast partner; EWNCW legend Bodom here, your thoughts on those 2 huge matches there?

Bod: Well Chris, 4 excellent athletes fighting it out to be the no.1 contender. My money is on King Strem. That man has been on one hell of a roll recently, and he’s already got one piece of gold around his waist. But you can never count out Tommy Thunder, or Silver Cena. Rich Cranium is also on a quest to prove he’s more than just a tag team specialist. I’m not convinced, but we’ll see tonight if has what it takes to advance.

CP: That’s right. And As I mentioned one more huge match that has just been announced for tonight. You might recall Ryan Wells calling out Billy McCoy on Inferno recently. And after seeing Ryan Wells dominate recently, tonight, he get’s his wish!! It’s Wells vs McCoy and the title is on the line!!

Bod: It should be a great match Chris, but you can’t see McCoy dropping his title to a rookie. Not this close to our biggest ppv of the year.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2JsM4...layer_embedded

CP: Well I thought Thunder vs Cranium was opening the show, but here comes the EWNCW World Heavyweight champion, Gillz. He’s been having an easy time recently, since all he’s had to do is sit back and watch the rest of the roster fight for the right to face him at ‘Destiny’s Calling’!

Bod: It’s never easy being the champ Pentalion. You always have to be on your toes, and you can take it from me when I say Gillz has not had an easy time as of late.

*Gillz swaggers down to the ring to a chorus of boos*

Gillz: Well hello EWNCW, its me you one and only champion Gillz

*More Boos*

G: Now I’ve been pretty scarce lately and that’s for one reason
See there’s this little tournament going on to decide who I’m facing at Destiny’s Calling
so I needed to lay low and scout the competition, Now yes I had a little impact on one or two matches
but in all honesty who hasn’t these days
Anyway onto the competition or lack of it
there’s four guys left all wanting this thing on my shoulder
there’s, let’s see there’s Rich

*Crowd pops*

G: Tommy

*Crowd Pops

G: Cena

*Pops again*

G: and the so called King; King Strem

*Boos*

G: Rich the former tag team specialist gone solo
now we have never met but as far as I was seeing you were the Jennety of GodMoney
so i should have absolutely no trouble disposing of you
I mean its miracle your even this far.
Hmm what about Cena, a man I’ve beaten many times before
Someone who never deserved to have shots at this title
I wouldn’t expect him in the final but even if he gets there the dream will become his very own nightmare
courtesy of me.

*Gillz laughs a little to himself*

G: So how about King Strem, the Ignition belt and another person I’ve never had the displeasure of facing
and personally don’t want to face, not because I’m scared or anything but because I fear for his safety.
No one wants to see a lamb taken to the slaughter and that’s exactly what you would get if that little thing was in the final. I would beat him within an inch of his life
I would end his career as quickly as it took off.
He claims I rubbed up to management to become the champion
even the thought of that makes me laugh
It took all of my skill get here and now I am I won’t let it go.
Now lastly there’s the hero Tommy Thunder
The fan favourite, everyone’s golden boy
See a while ago that all disappeared when I take his title, or rather confirmed that I was the real champion
when I did that I killed the hopes and dreams of all the little thunders at home
and you know what I loved every last bit
so I would like nothing more than to be the dream killer once more at Destiny’s Calling
But personally I would gladly put any of those guys in there place
it doesn’t matter who wins, because at Destiny’s Calling I will remain champion
And I will be champion for a very, very long time
Now deal with it

*Drops Mic*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0Q18...layer_embedded

CP: And here comes Tommy Thunder!! He’s in action against Rich Cranium in the first of our 2 semi-finals tonight!!

Bod: Well I’ve always said I’ve liked Thunder, but I don’t appreciate him coming here to steal our champion’s, excuse the pun, Thunder!!

CP: Ahhh I see what you did there Bods! Very clever!

Bod:
Don’t patronise me Pentalion!

TT: Really Gillz, you want to be a dream killer do you? Well allow me to retort. You are actually living a dream right now. Right this very moment. You see that title you have there, isn’t rightfully yours. In your fantasy little world, it may be, but we’re trying to live in a realistic world here, and frankly, a real world needs a real champion. And you’re not a real champion.

*crowd cheer*

TT: Now tonight, I’m facing Rich Cranium. One half of the legendary tag team; Godmoney.

*crowd cheer*

TT: And I’ll be honest, I’ll be real happy for ya Rich if you go on to win this, I mean what an achievement right? From loosing the tag titles, to winning the World Heavyweight championship! But you see I can’t let you win tonight. Because just like Gillz here, you’re living in a dream world, where you’re fool’s dream is to win the championship. Let the big guys take care of things here. You’ve made it far in this tournament, and I respect you for that, but you’ve come as far as you can go frankly. Because tonight, I’m stepping forward and moving closer to Destiny’s Calling. Where my VIP’s will see me winning the World title for a second time!

*crowd cheer*

TT: And as for who I face in the final, well it doesn’t matter. I mean it’s quite safe to say there’s only one winner in the other semi-final tonight. King Strem has been running his little mouth like a baby all week. He can talk the talk, I’ll give him that, but he can’t walk the walk. So I won’t even bother considering ‘the Queen’ as an opponent in the final.

*crowd laugh*

TT: Cena, I know what you’re all about, but I know I can beat you too, and inside that cage, I’ll destroy you. I participated and won the first ever Hell in a Cell match here in EWNCW, so a steel cage is nothing to me! Once me and you step in there. There will be no running. We’ve both had our chance at Gillz, but I owe it to the VIP’s to get that title back where it belongs.

*crowd cheer*

TT: So back to you fish man. Yes, you may have beaten me for that title a few weeks back, but you better pray to God I don’t win this thing, because if I do, not only am I going to take back what’s mine, I’m going to rip your balls off and shove em up your ass, so when you shit, you’ll shit all over your balls!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqWP1...layer_embedded

CP: And enter the man who is hell-bent on winning this tournament, Rich Cranium!!

Bod: Yeas, since loosing the tag titles, Rich has been working his ass off to prove he can make it as a singles star, and so far, he’s doing just that.


RC: Alright Thunder! I think you have said enough! This is not about you! This is about me winning this tournament and going to Destiny's Calling to take on Gillz for the undisputed EWNCW world championship. So Tommy, save your breath! You’re not winning this! And Gillz, I am taking your title at the PPV because it is my time and there is not a damn thing you can do about it! In the meantime, get a cloth and shine that baby up for me because it pays to be Rich $$.

*crowd cheer*

RC: Now get a ref out here so we can get this match over and done with!!

CP: well, rich doesn’t want to waste anymore time, and here comes our ref!

Bod: A nice exchange of words there, but it’s all about this match here. I’ll hazard a guess at Thunder winning here!

CP: Well it seems that Gillz is going to hang by the commentary table here to see this one first hand. Let’s get this one under way!!

[Tommy Thunder]

Tommy Thunder/Randy Orton vs Rich Cranium/Triple H - BAM/Batista, Ric Flair




CP: Oh my God!! What a match!! An absolute cracker, but What the hell were Bam and Flair doing there?! Why the hell did they get involved?!

Bod: YES!! FLAIR IS GOD!! He’s teaching his protégé the right way!! That’s how you make a statement!!

CP: Well I don’t know Bodom. Thunder beat Bam last week in the quarter final of the tournament, but they had no business out here tonight. We’re heading to a break now, stay tuned folks!
__________________________________________________ __________________________________

CP: we’re back from the commercial break here after witnessing Rich Cranium pull a win out of the bag over Tommy Thunder, thanks to a distraction from Ric Flair and his protégé Bam.

Bod: Well I love flair, and I think Bam is the fastest rising star in EWNCW. They’re going after a big fish in Tommy Thunder, and that’s the way to get to the top of a company, by taking out the top guy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09LTT...layer_embedded

CP: Here comes Solla and to say that he and MD have some issues is an understatement

Bods: The Beasts are battling in EWNCW

CP: Indeed Bods

*Solla gets the Mic and steps in the ring *

Solla: Mark Dimensions you screwed me over and cost me the King of the Cage tournament I have been here since day one and I am sick and tired off guys like you coming in and getting ahead of me I wont let it happen again you better believe that Dimensions your streak is coming to a end and I will kill the last alive!!

CP: You can see it Solla’s eyes he wants to hurt Dimensions bad

Bods: These two are proper giants the ring will shake if these two collide again

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LP4w5...layer_embedded

CP: And that could be right now Bodom here comes Dimensions

Bods: this is a beer moment in need a Bud

CP: Well that’s unprofessional

Bods: *Sarcastic voice* oh that’s unprofessional. Jackass.

(MD Promo)

CP: They are going at it again

*Deminsions and Solla go back and forth. Solla takes down MD and starts pounding on him but MD turns it round and starts laying into Solla. The two get back to their feet and a Low Blow from Solla, but here comes Security to break it up.

Bods: I am going to beat security up myself if they get between these two one more time

*MD is lead to the back by security while Solla is held in the ring by security*

[Tommy Thunder]

*John Cleverly is in his Office he has the “EWNCW GM’s Championship on the desk” he is seen typing when a suit comes in*

JC: What do you want Pete?

Pete: Sorry sir its just the board says you have to do something about MD and Solla they are fighting all over the place they’re damaging Company property nobody feels safe anymore

JC: I see well as your GM and your champion here is what I am going to do. They want to fight?! I’ll let them fight! On the grandest stage of them all at ‘Destiny’s Calling’ its going to be The Albino Rhino Solla vs Mark Dimension!! Tell the board to stick that on their memo!!
__________________________________________________ _____________________

CP: We’re back from another commercial break here, and just before the break there we saw John cleverly make another huge match for ‘Destiny’s Calling’!! Its going to be the Battle of the Beasts as The albino Rhino Solla Mafoai taking on the still un-pinned cyborg Mark Dimension!!

Bod: Well that’s a car crash waiting to happen if ever I saw one! That isn’t going to be a match Chris, it’s going to be a slug-fest. It’s going to be brutal. Those 2 are going to tear each other apart.



CP: Well, it seems that we’re now going to have the match that was announced at the top of the show!! Ryan Wells is making his way out here where he will be taking on Billy McCoy for the International championship!! Can he do it Bodom?

Bod: Well Wells is an impressive man. He’s got a great physique and he has the tools to be a major player here, but this is Billy McCoy we’re talking about. Not some dumb shmuck.



CP: Ohhhh boy and here comes the champ!! He looks focused!!

Bod: Well In my humble opinion, McCoy will do anything to hold onto that title tonight. As long as he has that title, he’s got a free ticket to Destiny’s Calling. But then again, that’s good motivation for Wells to try and win here tonight.

CP: Well we’re ready to go here, so let’s go!!

(Billy McCoy/ Rey Mysterio vs Ryan Wells/ Dolph Ziggler)



CP: And Billy McCoy has done it!! Ryan Wells put up one hell of a fight, but he came up short here.

Bod: I think Wells has proven tonight that although he’s a rookie, he can hang with the big guys here, and... wait a minute...

*Seth Ferrell runs to the ring and attacks Billy McCoy from Behind. He can be heard screaming “Nobody wants a peasant’s champion!!”. After a quite severe beating, Ferrell grabs the title, and hoists it above his head over McCoy’s body. The crowd drown the arena with boos.*

CP: Good lord!! McCoy didn’t stand a chance there! After a pretty intense match with Wells, he didn’t have the energy to fight back against the fresh Pharoha!!

Bod: I’ve been waiting for Ferrell to get a clear cut shot at the International title, and I think he’s proven tonight that he’s more than ready for it. Book it now I say!!

CP: Well we’ll have to wait and see about that, but Ferrell has certainly made a statement here tonight!!

[Tommy Thunder]

*We come back to see a cameraman and EWNCW reporter Jonathan Sanchez trying to catch up with a figure walking in the parking lot.*

JS: Johnathan Sanchez here trying to catch up with Russo Swerve hey Russo wait up?

Russo: What the hell do you want junior?

JS: So at Destiny’s Calling you face Jordan1995 now you guys have some genuine bad blood?

Russo: Yeah that’s pretty obvious

JS: This match is going to have a lot of posters interested don’t you think?

Russo: I honestly could care less

JS: but don’t you think your actions have been a little despicable of late?

Russo: You ain’t seen nuthin yet

JS: Wait where you going isn't that Jordans ice cream van?

Russo: Which is exactly why I’m about to demolish it.

*Russo grabs a wrench from on top of a productions box and he takes to the headlights of his ice cream van he smashes up with windows the alarm is blaring. Russo then gets the production van you can hear Russo shouting “Your gimmick is pathetic” and you suck at life junior

Russo gets a match and lights it pops the bonnet. The camera crew start to run they turn around to see the ice cream van blow up. The sound is blistering and the camera crew are thrown of their feet. We see Russo standing and laughing at his destruction*
__________________________________________________ _________

*We cut back to the commentary table*

CP: My God, that man has lost it, he’s crazy!!

Bod: He’s crazy and I like it!! Did you see that ice cream van explode?! HA! Excellent stuff!

CP: You sound just as crazy as him, How can you like seeing something like that?!

*SHB's music plays*

CP: And that’s the music of the Sky High Bastards; Toxic and Bazooka!

Bod: High Flying, death defying maniacs. And they’re prepared to step on every pinky on every foot in that lock room to get to where they want!

Toxic: You know Bazooka, we have been winning our matches so where is our title shot? I mean it's the pathetic excuse for a GM in Cleverly to not give them to us! Those tight wad executives wouldn't know how to take a shit without guidance!

Bazooka: Absolutely! This place is very corrupt where even the bloody agents hang out backstage smoking pot and drinking booze! We are the best and a lot better than the ones who hold the titles right now!

Toxic: *Looks into camera* Cleverly! Get your arse down here and announce the Sky High Bastards the number 1 contenders!

Bazooka: Yeah, get off your fat lazy arse and do something important for once you slimy bastard!

*FOG music plays*

CP: Hey! It’s the force of Greatness!! Maybe they can teach these two punks a thing or two about respect here!!

Bod: I have to admit, the Force of greatness are veterans of the tag team division. I’m curious to know what they’ve got to say to the SHB here.

Matt: So you blokes want to come out here and keep up the disrespect? All you guys do is bitch and moan about everything! You are bringing shame to the Tag team division here at EWNCW!

Tai: That's right Matt! If you boys want to become men and earn a shot at the gold then you gotta beat us first!

Matt: Yeah and Toxic, you and I have a date set for tonight! I aim to teach you a lesson in respect! You guys have been getting on our nerves with your cheap victories and diahrea infested mouths! Bring it on boys!

CP: Aw right! Matt ‘The Force’ Elder facing Toxic right here, right now!!

Bod: This should be an excellent bout.

Matt Elder/Alex Shelley vs Toxic/Doug Williams


CP: And Matt has done it!! A lesson in respect right there for the SHB!!

Bod: I don’t think this one’s over Chris. The Collective are without challengers for Destiny’s Calling, and for me, these are the in-form teams here right now.

[Tommy Thunder]

CP: We’re back here and it’s main event time as Silver Cena makes his way down to the ring!!

Bod: We have one man booked in that cage for the final of this tournament in the shape of Rich Cranium. For me, Cena’s had his chance, but you can never count this guy out.

SilverCena: We all heard Gillz at the start of the show running his mouth talking about how he is better than this person and better than that person. Wow Gillz, you must not have many friends!

*Crowd laughs*

So instead of dissing us, you should be taking notes! I'd say you should be wary of me! Despite what you said earlier, I am gunning for you at Destiny's Calling and that title will be around the waist of the Rapping Hyena known as SilverCena!

*Crowd cheers*

Tonight is a good night for SilverCena! Anyone got a clue why?

*Points mic to crowd and crowd looks confused*

I'll tell ya! You see, there is this guy running around saying how he hates EWNCW and how he hates this and hates that! He hates creative, he hates McCoy crisps, GodMoney beer bags, Gillz toilet paper, Bloodstone Light - which BTW he is Keith Stone's little brother but not as smooth, Krysys Trojans, Grind Bastard Bagels, Tommy Thunder action figures with removable underwear, yadi yadi yada!

*Crowd is laughing*

Worst off, he hates my raps! *Crowd boos* He is none other than EWNCW crybaby Kingstrem! Well right now, I am going to ROYALLY enjoy kicking Kingstrems ass and advancing in the King of the Cage tournament!

TIME TO GET BUSY *Points mic to crowd* BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!



CP: Confident words from the rapping hyena, and now, enter the Ignition champion King Strem.

Bod: This man has been very impressive as of late. I think this is his time to break out.

*Sits in top turnbuckle*

KS: So...here we are again. Everyone is out here to cheer for the corporate favourite like usual. A lot of you have been saying that I am bitching and moaning like a girl so let me dumb this up and explain it to you. I am sick and tired of every week coming out and busting my ass for no reason because no one recognizes me or praises me. The writers are always saying that I'll be good but never give me the push. Well...fuck them. I don't need the writers, I don't need this piece of shit title that no one respects, and I do not need any of you. All I need is myself and the world heavyweight championship. I will do anything for that title. I will destroy anyone the writers decide to throw at me. Whether it be my opponent silvercena, young Thomas thunder, or the god forsaken low life piece of shit gillz. Let it be written and let it be told, no one will stop me. I will get respect and if I do not. Then I guess I'll find someone who will respect me. The king has spoken

CP: Strem coming right back at Cena there, but let’s find out how this one plays out! It’s time to go!

SilverCena/MVP vs King Strem/ Karl Anderson


CP: And Cena does it!! He’s in the final!!

Bod: Well I said you can never count the guy out, and that was an intense match there!!

CP: So it’s Silver Cena vs Rich Cranium inside the steel cage!! Who will emerge as King of the Cage and go on to face Gillz at Destiny’s Calling?! Your guess is as good as mine folks!! Don’t forget to tune in to Thursday night Inferno!! But from Phoenix Arizona, it’s good night form us folks!!

[eboy]

THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! is a FILLER!!

[eboy]

EWNCW DESTINY's Calling our The Biggest Efed Show of all time comes your way on October 30th

[eboy]

You can find the Inferno that followed this rage on page 28 of the inferno thread

[eboy]

Monday Night RAGE Filler

[eboy]

IT IS TIME FOR MONDAY NIGHT RAGE


Reminder the EWNCW Awards now has its own thread

RAGE IS NEXT!!! from Denver Colorado