I'm an open book.

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This song is great without vocals.

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For a brief period in modern history (about 1907 to 1938), nature tried to stage one last hurrah against humanity by unleashing a bizarrely coordinated assault by the big cats of India. Among them were the Leopard of the Central Provinces, the Leopard of Rudraprayag, the Leopard of Panar, the Champawat Tiger, the Thak man-eater and the Tigers of Chowgarh. All of these predators went batshit banana sandwich crazy at roughly the same time, suggesting some cosmic alignment or contagious insanity or maybe just something in the freaking water. Whatever the cause, these cats all shared a sudden, mighty need for man flesh.

We've all been there. Although usually after two tabs of Ex and a foot-long margarita.

The Champawat Tiger alone was responsible for 436 documented deaths in Nepal and Himalayan India, which, for those of you keeping track, is more than any human serial killer in modern history.

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"You call that murdering and eating people, Dahmer?"

This cat attacked during the day, while the Leopard of Rudraprayag attacked at night, sometimes busting down the doors of its victims like goddamned Leatherface and dragging them screaming into the darkness. All told, more than 1,200 men, women and children were killed by 33 big cats over the course of three decades, establishing a legacy of terror that has yet to be equaled.The killings might have continued unabated were it not for this man:

Moments later he'd put that hat on the leopard and hold a hilarious impromptu puppet show.

Over those 30 years, Col. Jim Corbett of the British Indian Army was repeatedly dispatched to personally "resolve" the problem animals. He was able to bag all 33 of the murderous felines, starting with the Champawat Tiger.

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