"The Poor Boy in the Grave"
An orphan is sent to a rich couple who beat and starve him (and no, an owl from Hogwarts never arrives). He decides to kill himself, but confuses wine and honey for poison, because his cruel foster parents never sent him to school. Drunk and full, he lies down in a grave, wallowing in misery.
And then he dies. The end. Shut up and go to sleep.