The DEFINITIVE English football banter thread

[B-MCINTYRE]

Soccer has no honor. There are codes of behavior in sports like hockey, baseball, football and basketball. There is no code of behavior in the activity of soccer: the penis biting should make this fairly obvious.

Soccer markets to Nazis - even today. Umbro markets Zyklon, a type of shoe, to soccer participants. Zyklon was the name of the gas used to kill Jews in WWII.

Soccer uses witch doctors. The same simplistic mentality that avails itself to soccer avails itself to primal mysticism.

Soccer idiots overexaggerate everything. Yeah, soccer deserves a Nobel Prize. Better load up on the security for that award presentation, because soccer deserves it less than terrorists like Arafat. Yeah, a soccer game is a wondrous event in your nation's history. Granted, these nations still have to master indoor plumbing, but please - stop the hallucinogenics, now.

Soccer fans actually set themselves on fire. That's a pretty good barometer judging the mentality of soccer fans.

Soccer cheering has no point. Football fans successfully cause opposing teams' offenses to call timeouts, use up the play clock, screw up audibles or cause procedure penalties. Ask Burt Hooton whether baseball fans affect an opponent's performance. Soccer? They sing songs - which all sound the same - regardless of outcome. It doesn't celebrate performance. It doesn't serve to intimidate. It has no purpose.

Soccer counts time up. Soccer games count the time that has elapsed, rather than the time remaining. This is stupid for a number of reasons. First, soccer games don't refer to time anyway, so why even keep it? Second, why the concern on the past? The score already reflects all important information of what has already happened in the game. In soccer, this is most likely irrelevant anyway, since the score is most likely 0-0, er, nil, nil. The focus should be on the result - which depends on the future. Thus, time should count down. Can you imagine NASA counting up (from, say, when JFK made his speech about landing on the moon in a decade)? How stupid would that be?

soccersucks.net

[Tomsta666]

Bless you Mac, you're trying hard today

I don't know which site you got that from, obviously some flag humping 'murican one but I digress. The ignorance and glaring untruths in each and everyone of those points is comical I don't have time to pick it apart, because I have to go out.

It gave me a pretty good laugh though. So thanks man!

[B-MCINTYRE]

Bless you Mac, you're trying hard today

I don't know which site you got that from, obviously some flag humping 'murican one but I digress. The ignorance and glaring untruths in each and everyone of those points is comical I don't have time to pick it apart, because I have to go out.

It gave me a pretty good laugh though. So thanks man!

I posted the URL like three times... Oh and i only just read them... some of them are pretty stupid... But some of them are good points... catch up Tomstaa

[VanHooliganX]

Soccer has no honor. There are codes of behavior in sports like hockey, baseball, football and basketball. There is no code of behavior in the activity of soccer: the penis biting should make this fairly obvious.

Soccer markets to Nazis - even today. Umbro markets Zyklon, a type of shoe, to soccer participants. Zyklon was the name of the gas used to kill Jews in WWII.

Soccer uses witch doctors. The same simplistic mentality that avails itself to soccer avails itself to primal mysticism.

Soccer idiots overexaggerate everything. Yeah, soccer deserves a Nobel Prize. Better load up on the security for that award presentation, because soccer deserves it less than terrorists like Arafat. Yeah, a soccer game is a wondrous event in your nation's history. Granted, these nations still have to master indoor plumbing, but please - stop the hallucinogenics, now.

Soccer fans actually set themselves on fire. That's a pretty good barometer judging the mentality of soccer fans.

Soccer cheering has no point. Football fans successfully cause opposing teams' offenses to call timeouts, use up the play clock, screw up audibles or cause procedure penalties. Ask Burt Hooton whether baseball fans affect an opponent's performance. Soccer? They sing songs - which all sound the same - regardless of outcome. It doesn't celebrate performance. It doesn't serve to intimidate. It has no purpose.

Soccer counts time up. Soccer games count the time that has elapsed, rather than the time remaining. This is stupid for a number of reasons. First, soccer games don't refer to time anyway, so why even keep it? Second, why the concern on the past? The score already reflects all important information of what has already happened in the game. In soccer, this is most likely irrelevant anyway, since the score is most likely 0-0, er, nil, nil. The focus should be on the result - which depends on the future. Thus, time should count down. Can you imagine NASA counting up (from, say, when JFK made his speech about landing on the moon in a decade)? How stupid would that be?

soccersucks.net

Wow. I don't need to be a detective to know whoever created that must've been picked last everytime he played it at school.

6/10 would read again.

[akbar]

Wow. I don't need to be a detective to know whoever created that must've been picked last everytime he played it at school.

*Cough* B-Mac

[B-MCINTYRE]

Wow. I don't need to be a detective to know whoever created that must've been picked last everytime he played it at school.

6/10 would read again.

Some of them were pretty bad I'll admit it. There were some humerous ones in there.

[Shining Light]

Wow. I don't need to be a detective to know whoever created that must've been picked last everytime he played it at school.

I usually got picked last by one little shit... It's funny though because I'm now the captain of the 5 a side team he's a part of

[Shaz11]

I usually got picked last by one little shit... It's funny though because I'm now the captain of the 5 a side team he's a part of

I feel your pain.

[THE HEARTBREAK KID]

Jealousy is a sin

I was hoping you would see that.

Jealous of what? Windmills? clogs? or Dirk Kuyt? Don't think so.

[THE HEARTBREAK KID]

I usually got picked last by one little shit... It's funny though because I'm now the captain of the 5 a side team he's a part of

Haha! nice You should drop him now.