My gf: "Will you tell me a bedtime story"
Vanny-poo: "Once upon a time there was a pigeon. It was very unloved because it was a pigeon.
1 day, he had enough of this misery life. He travelled to the wizards tower and begged the almighty wizard to turn him into a real boy! The wizard thought about it for a long time but eventually he made him into a 13 year old boy. The pigeon was so, so happy! Then a day later, he went into his local american school and shot a lot of children and proceeded to use the blood of the dead victims as a bird bath.
I should improv more often.