Chocolate Blades of Thunder

[Darkside Ron Garvin]

Ill be the first to admit i dont come to the cbot thread 24/7 but when i get on i occasionally see you and ape saying stuff and while i can see where you are trying to help and bestow some common sense and guy-ness on dennis, idk, sometimes ya come off as bashing. But i guess thats a matter of perception

That's the best part about perspective, bear...

I'd be offended that you called me sport but I know I don't have a right to say anything else. When I owned up to my mistake with Dennis and the whole signature business, I wasn't trying to sound too remorseful so that people could form a pity circle, pat me on the back and coo "There, there. It'll be okay." Wasn't my intent and this time, without trying to conjure up any sob stories, I'll apologize to Robstar for flipping out like that.

Why would the word "sport" be offensive? I use the term loosely like "bud", "bro", etc... But the point is being missed it seems. While you are grasping the logic as to where you failed with Denny, you still have that thought that people observe you in a specific way. The point to what I was making is that you project your own thoughts of yourself outward and you give off your lack of self confidence by making statements like the bolded. Its comments like this that make you appear to be trying to pull at the emotions of other to come to your defense when it isn't needed. In essence, what you did to/for Dennis, you are seeking someone to do for you in return. That is how the "Victim Card" actually applies in that you are willing to be the peacock that shows his feathers and intents for everyone to see. It comes off as a cry for "people! Don't you see that I am backing off from the topic of conversation and if anyone else is there on my side, jump in now before I truly have to give up on this!" I don't think you are doing this intentionally, however you do come across as needing the confirmation and reorganization from other to make you feel justified. That's where the "humility" aspect of my previous post comes into play. If you are doing it for others to see you, then you can't really grow from the experience...

What's wrong with just saying, "Damn, I was wrong. My bad." The only reasons I say these things K2 is because I like you, but displays like these and holding onto past disagreements are not flattering of your character. People disagree all the time; it doesn't mean they're not good people. I disagree with Robstar, Iron Ape, Dennis, Bodom (yes I am brave enough to say it), Wade, VanHX, Tommy Thunder, etc... But that doesn't mean I am going to hold a grudge on some conversation we had 3 months ago.

[Darkside Ron Garvin]

While i understand they arent calling him a fucking moron, ill point out something, and excuse me if im a little off, but i think i caught most of it. Dennis's point about his friends not liking his alcohol breath so he needs mints. Ape and robstar gave their opinion a few times i believe, and i think one line was even "have u thought about what kind of friends they are if they act like that" or something. It wasnt a derogatory comment or anything but dennis has made it clear thats who he is or whatever. So what if how dennis defines himself by his actions dont match up to how ape and robstar view people should be or how the world views people should be. I mean, isnt that the point of being an individual? Doing your own thing? Ok..now im probably making no sense and just rambling

Fair point taken, but let me ask you this - If you have a friend who is close to you and he knows that the girl you have been taking out has herpes, would you not want your friend to at least care enough to warn you of the dangers and life long possible results of sleeping with that girl?

It is an extreme example, but remember that often times the mistakes in our youth haunt us in ways we never expected. I love my 9 year old with all I can, but had I known that I'd pay $700 a month for him, I'd probably thought about wearing a condom that night. This doesn't change how much I love my son, it just confirms that knowledge (or lack there of) can affect your ability to make "good decisions" in life... Especially when you're in your late teens/early 20s.

[K2Jelly]

That's the best part about perspective, bear...



Why would the word "sport" be offensive? I use the term loosely like "bud", "bro", etc... But the point is being missed it seems. While you are grasping the logic as to where you failed with Denny, you still have that thought that people observe you in a specific way. The point to what I was making is that you project your own thoughts of yourself outward and you give off your lack of self confidence by making statements like the bolded. Its comments like this that make you appear to be trying to pull at the emotions of other to come to your defense when it isn't needed. In essence, what you did to/for Dennis, you are seeking someone to do for you in return. That is how the "Victim Card" actually applies in that you are willing to be the peacock that shows his feathers and intents for everyone to see. It comes off as a cry for "people! Don't you see that I am backing off from the topic of conversation and if anyone else is there on my side, jump in now before I truly have to give up on this!" I don't think you are doing this intentionally, however you do come across as needing the confirmation and reorganization from other to make you feel justified. That's where the "humility" aspect of my previous post comes into play. If you are doing it for others to see you, then you can't really grow from the experience...

What's wrong with just saying, "Damn, I was wrong. My bad." The only reasons I say these things K2 is because I like you, but displays like these and holding onto past disagreements are not flattering of your character. People disagree all the time; it doesn't mean they're not good people. I disagree with Robstar, Iron Ape, Dennis, Bodom (yes I am brave enough to say it), Wade, VanHX, Tommy Thunder, etc... But that doesn't mean I am going to hold a grudge on some conversation we had 3 months ago.

Nothing at all. When I make apologies, I want to sound sincere because I want the person I offended to know that I messed up. If I just say something along the lines of "Sorry 'bout that." and just walk away like I've done my job, then I feel like there's a chance that they might not believe me because I wanted to resolve issues as simply as possible without going overboard. But then if I do, my insecurities get deflected upon them and they feel as if they need to apologize to me when I'm at fault because my apology makes them feel guilty. Basically, I'm not good at finding a balance.

[Darkside Ron Garvin]

Nothing at all. When I make apologies, I want to sound sincere because I want the person I offended to know that I messed up. If I just say something along the lines of "Sorry 'bout that." and just walk away like I've done my job, then I feel like there's a chance that they might not believe me because I wanted to resolve issues as simply as possible without going overboard. But then if I do, my insecurities get deflected upon them and they feel as if they need to apologize to me when I'm at fault because my apology makes them feel guilty. Basically, I'm not good at finding a balance.

There's the problem. Don't allow your insecurities to affect your word. Your head is the biggest critic of your own work and it will reveal your intentions even though you do your best to hide them. If you are confident in your words, and people know your character, then the simplest statement can speak wonders. People know my character and when I say that I messed up, that is all that is needed. Any other words simply come across as me trying to justify myself rather than to admit the fault.

Strong character is what makes strong opinions seem more valid. That is why most politicians come off as snakes where as, here in the south at least, the opinion of a grandparent can be the most important you ever hear. It is in their character that you trust their judgment of a topic.

EDIT - To the final part of your post, I think your insecurities give you a false sense of realization. People aren't apologizing to you as a way to seek forgiveness from a disagreement. They are apologizing because the projection of how you make yourself sound when "apologizing" is that you are wrong, but still think that you are right. It is why people say that they are sorry because it comes across (my opinion here) as an over dramatical event because your extensive apologies make you out to be picked on for having an opinion that not everyone agrees with. I am a Christian - I promise you I have opinions that others on here don't agree with. However, my foundation is never shaken by a disagreement where as from the replies I have see from you, it seems the same statement can't be made. This is why I compare you to a peacock in a sense.

[K2Jelly]

There's the problem. Don't allow your insecurities to affect your word. Your head is the biggest critic of your own work and it will reveal your intentions even though you do your best to hide them. If you are confident in your words, and people know your character, then the simplest statement can speak wonders. People know my character and when I say that I messed up, that is all that is needed. Any other words simply come across as me trying to justify myself rather than to admit the fault.

Strong character is what makes strong opinions seem more valid. That is why most politicians come off as snakes where as, here in the south at least, the opinion of a grandparent can be the most important you ever hear. It is in their character that you trust their judgment of a topic.

That makes a whole lot of sense. I'm going to be a lot more cautious of that moving forward now.

[Awesome Bomb]

Damn, you guys talk a lot.

[Darkside Ron Garvin]

That makes a whole lot of sense. I'm going to be a lot more cautious of that moving forward now.

Honestly, I think you will try for two weeks until the next disagreement. But that is just going from the track record from what I have observed and with me, I take peoples words as a grain of salt. The moment that I know this statement to be a true alteration of character is when I log on here and read through all the things I missed from being away, only to find you have applied this to your life and way of posting. Until then, the damage to character has been dealt and I learned a long time ago that people are who they are. Accept them for that, or avoid them when you can. Sorry if this seems a little direct, but I am not the one to falsify my opinions of life.

[SouthernBlood]

Honestly, I think you will try for two weeks until the next disagreement. But that is just going from the track record from what I have observed and with me, I take peoples words as a grain of salt. The moment that I know this statement to be a true alteration of character is when I log on here and read through all the things I missed from being away, only to find you have applied this to your life and way of posting. Until then, the damage to character has been dealt and I learned a long time ago that people are who they are. Accept them for that, or avoid them when you can. Sorry if this seems a little direct, but I am not the one to falsify my opinions of life.

Yea I tell people all the time word's dont mean nothin at all...And the funny thing is some people expect me to whip the fuck out of someone for a few wrong words.

[Robstar]

While i understand they arent calling him a fucking moron, ill point out something, and excuse me if im a little off, but i think i caught most of it. Dennis's point about his friends not liking his alcohol breath so he needs mints. Ape and robstar gave their opinion a few times i believe, and i think one line was even "have u thought about what kind of friends they are if they act like that" or something. It wasnt a derogatory comment or anything but dennis has made it clear thats who he is or whatever. So what if how dennis defines himself by his actions dont match up to how ape and robstar view people should be or how the world views people should be. I mean, isnt that the point of being an individual? Doing your own thing? Ok..now im probably making no sense and just rambling

My response to this comment is - you can have all the good advice in the world but virtually nothing is going to, or should affect too greatly the way you act in life, in spontaneous situations. You don't really have time to stop and think "Hmmmm, what would Robstar do?" FUCK THAT! Live off the cuff, I reckon. But forewarned IS forearmed and if even a little bit of good advice seeps in, then it would have been worth it. Plus it works better in moments of reflection, when you can think about things and go "Ohhhhh, so that's what they were getting at!" and hopefully help one not to make repeatedly bad decisions.

You wouldn't neglect teaching your children stuff simply because, "fuck it they'll learn it eventually anyway" would you. Such is the fellowship of man......blleeeeeech!!! How hippie drippy! lol

[Robstar]

Damn, you guys talk a lot.

Would you prefer a few "lol "'s AB?