Ridiculous Football (Soccer) Stories

[Wade Barrett 1979]

There are few things more nerve wracking in football than the penalty shootout. Standing in the way of Jan Molby when the tannoy announces half price burgers perhaps? But for sheer edge of your seat tension, the old shootout has to be the king.

Step forward then, Peter Devine. Not the most household of names, but for anyone familiar with Nick Hancock’s “Football Nightmares” series, the name will instantly resonate.

The setting is an FA Trophy match between Lancaster City & Whitley Bay, the scores are level at 4-4, with all eight previous penalty takers having scored emphatically. Up steps our hero, places the ball on the spot with poise and focus, takes a few steps back, begins his run up and……stumbles ridiculously towards the ball, stroking it a couple of yards forward, before doing the only dignified thing. Pretending he was injured. Note the sympathy from the keeper, who must have had to stick both gloves in his mouth to drown out the laughter. Lancaster lost by the way, and it was Devine’s fault.

[Wade Barrett 1979]

Jamie Redknapp’s England career never really reached the heights it was supposed to did it? I mean yeah he did score that stunning goal against Belgium, but really he didn’t actually do that much in an England shirt. But he was involved in one of the most ridiculous footballing moments of all time, although in a way I’m pretty sure he wishes he wasn’t.

It is 1995, and an international friendly at Wembley between England & Colombia. The game is a pretty drab affair; the commentators are in danger of dozing off as Terry Venables’ side attempts to mould into their new fangled “Christmas Tree” formation. Alan Shearer is going through a dry spell in front of goal, Paul Ince is shaking his fist but not really getting much done, and David Seaman is contemplating growing a ponytail at the other end.
But then, the ball is pulled back to Redknapp 25 yards out. Here comes trouble, you think. But Redknapp’s effort is mistimed, the ball loops harmlessly towards the flamboyant (a.k.a. mental) Colombian keeper Rene Higuita. Easy catch, you think. Not with this guy. Higuita produces the now infamous “Scorpion Kick”, jumping forwards, but kicking his legs behind him to fire the ball out of the danger area, to the delight and bemusement of all concerned. Except Redknapp, who never fully recovered from the humiliation of seeing someone do that to one of his “shots”.

[Wade Barrett 1979]

Look up the phrase “fiery Italian”, and chances are you will come across a picture of Paolo Di Canio. In Italian football, Di Canio fell out with coaches- Fabio Capello amongst them- team-mates, referees, presidents, the lot. In Scottish football he played well, but demanded a move after a couple of seasons.

But perhaps his most infamous moment came in September 1998, when playing for Sheffield Wednesday against Arsenal. Di Canio became embroiled in a scuffle with Gunners defender Martin Keown, aiming a kick as players from both sides got involved. The referee, Paul Alcock, saw this and beckoned the Italian over to him, before issuing (justifiably) the red card.

At this point, a fired up Di Canio pushed Alcock with both hands in the chest. Out of order of course, but the manner in which the referee stumbled theatrically to the ground following the push was not only bizarre, but utterly hilarious.

Di Canio was banned by the FA for eleven games, and would never play for Sheffield Wednesday again. Never one to shirk a challenge, he was picked up by Harry Redknapp at West Ham, where he went on to gain cult status. All’s well that ends well I suppose.

[Wade Barrett 1979]

Told you there was something special about 1970s football. OK, so the haircuts were awful, the shorts were short, and the pitches were….well, farmer’s fields.

But this game from April 1977, between Derby & Manchester City at the old Baseball Ground, takes the biscuit when it comes to footballing absurdity surely. In it, Derby are awarded a penalty for a foul on Archie Gemmill, but with the grass all gone from most of the pitch, there ensues a debate over where exactly the penalty should be taken from. City goalkeeper Joe Corrigan attempts to help the referee out by pacing out twelve yards. And receives a yellow card for his cheek!

In the end, the only sensible solution is called for. A man, County groundsman Bob Smith, with a tape measure and a bucket of white paint emerges from the stands, measures out 12 yards immaculately (whilst players and fans of both sides sit around patiently), before painting himself a nice white spot on the sandy Derby pitch. Once complete, the penalty is buried by Gerry Daly past a half-asleep Corrigan. Good times.

[Wade Barrett 1979]

These days, fighting on the pitch is hardly the most shocking thing about football. But back in 1975, the thought of two players, England internationals no less, coming to blows in front of the TV cameras was unthinkable.

Francis Lee & Norman Hunter were room-mates at the 1970 World Cup, two seasoned professionals with just about every major honour to their names. But on 1 November 1975, in a game between Lee’s Derby County & Hunter’s Leeds United, the two stamped their names into the history books in indelible ink for all the wrong reasons.

First, a bit of background. Francis Lee had throughout his career earned a reputation as a bit of….how can I put this…..diver. So much so in fact that some football writers had dubbed him “Lee Won Pen”, for his fondness of hitting the deck in the penalty area. Norman Hunter on the other hand was a different breed; “Bite Yer Legs” rarely went to ground, unless it was to….er…bite yer legs.

So when Lee drew a soft penalty out of a nothing Hunter challenge in this game, Big Norm was busting for revenge. And he took it in the most cynical of fashions, a sharp punch whilst Lee’s, and the referee’s, back was turned left the Derby striker with a split lip and some seriously damaged pride. Players from both sides- the likes of Kevin Hector, Billy Bremner & Peter Lorimer- waded in, and the referee was left with no option but to send the pair off. Drama over.

Not quite. As the pair left the field side-by-side, Lee lost his patience with Hunter’s goading, swinging wildly and repeatedly from the ankle with such venom that he floored the much taller Leeds man. In the end it took Derby boss Dave Mackay to intervene and lead his man from the field, with John Motson bemoaning that “a side to football we really do not want to see has unfortunately reared its ugly head”. Not so sure about that John. Personally, I love watching it.

[Wade Barrett 1979]

It is every football fan’s dream. To walk out in a big European stadium, on a big European night, side by side with some of the best players in the world.

For Karl Power, that was exactly what happened on the night of 18 April 2001. Power, an unemployed labourer from Greater Manchester, somehow managed to evade security at Bayern Munich’s Olympic Stadium to walk out with the Manchester Utd team, before cheekily posing alongside the likes of Dwight Yorke, Ryan Giggs & Fabian Barthez for the official team picture.

Eagle-eyed Gary Neville did actually spot the imposter, and pointed him out to the rest of the team. But Power, a big Eric Cantona fan, apparently replied “shut it, I’m doing this for Eric” Bravo, sneaking onto the pitch, and telling Gary Neville to shut it. Superb stuff.

Power also hit headlines when he emerged onto the field at Lords during an England test match, and played tennis at Wimbledon- beating Greg Rusedski with great ease. Boom boom.

[Wade Barrett 1979]

20 red cards were shown during a 1993 game between Sportivo Ameliano and General Caballero in Paraguay.

ASEC Abidjan of Cote D'Ivoire went unbeaten for 108 games between 1989 and 1994.

Carlos Caszely of Chile was the first player red carded in a World Cup tournament on June 14, 1974.

European Teams have reached the final of every World Cup except in 1930 and 1950.

Goalkeeper Arthur Wharton was the first black professional soccer player. He was born in Ghana (then Gold Coast) and played for English League team Rotherham United in 1889.

In 1950 India withdrew form the World Cup because FIFA refused to let their team play barefoot.

In 1954 Turkey knocked out Spain from during a World Cup qualifier by drawing straws. Blindfolded Italian boy Luigi Franco Gemma picked the straws to decide the winner.

In 1957 with only 30 minutes remaining, Charlton Athletic game back from a 5-1 deficit to defeat Huddersfield Town 7-6.

In 1968, Penarol of Urugauy conceded only five goals in 18 games on the way to an unbeaten season.

In 1996 George Weah paid for his teammates uniforms and expenses so that Liberia could enter the African Nations Cup.

In 1997 Nigerian international Celestine Babayaro broke his leg while celebrating a goal in his Chelsea debut during a preseason game.

In 1998 English referee Martin Sylvester sent himself off after punching a player during a game in the Andover and District Sunday League.

[Wade Barrett 1979]

In the 1938 World Cup semifinal, Guiseppe Meazza of Italy's shorts fell down as he was taking a penalty shot. He held his shorts up and calmly scored past Brazil's Valter.

In the 1970s legendary coaches Jock Stein and Brian Clough both had 44 day stints at Leeds United.

Jean Langenus of Belgium wore a suit jacket, golfing plus fours and a red striped tie when he refereed the 1930 World Cup final.

Luigi Riva once broke the arm of a spectator with one of his powerful shots.

Madagascan team Stade Olympique L'Emryne scored 149 own goals against champions AS Adema in 2002. They repeatedly scored own goals in protest of a refereeing decision in their previous game.

Michael Laudrup appeared for Real Madrid in a 5-0 win over Barcelona and also Barcelona when they beat Real Madrid 5-0.

Non flying Dutchman Dennis Bergkamp's fear of flying caused him to miss many international and European games for Arsenal.

Sir Alex Ferguson was fired by St. Mirren in 1978 for swearing at a lady.

Sir Stanley Matthews never received a booking in his 33 year long career.

Under Herbert Chapman, The Arsenal changed their name to simply Arsenal in order to appear at the top of the alphabetical list of old Division One clubs.

The first televised game was an Arsenal practice match at the Highbury ground in 1937.

[Wade Barrett 1979]

That'a all folks!!

[Tomsta666]

Told you there was something special about 1970s football. OK, so the haircuts were awful, the shorts were short, and the pitches were….well, farmer’s fields.

But this game from April 1977, between Derby & Manchester City at the old Baseball Ground, takes the biscuit when it comes to footballing absurdity surely. In it, Derby are awarded a penalty for a foul on Archie Gemmill, but with the grass all gone from most of the pitch, there ensues a debate over where exactly the penalty should be taken from. City goalkeeper Joe Corrigan attempts to help the referee out by pacing out twelve yards. And receives a yellow card for his cheek!

In the end, the only sensible solution is called for. A man, County groundsman Bob Smith, with a tape measure and a bucket of white paint emerges from the stands, measures out 12 yards immaculately (whilst players and fans of both sides sit around patiently), before painting himself a nice white spot on the sandy Derby pitch. Once complete, the penalty is buried by Gerry Daly past a half-asleep Corrigan. Good times.

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