Ridiculous Football (Soccer) Stories

[Wade Barrett 1979]

A Manchester City fan was banned in 1995 from bringing dead chickens into City’s Maine Road ground. He used to celebrate City goals by swinging the birds around his head.

[Wade Barrett 1979]

Stopping off en route to Iceland , the Albanian national team were thrown out of England in 1990 after going on a shopping spree at Heathrow. They had thought “duty free” meant help yourself.

[Wade Barrett 1979]

The Liberia team escaped imprisonment by holding Gambia to a goalless draw in 1980. The Liberian Head of State, Master Sergeant Samuel Doe, had threatened to jail them it they lost.

[Wade Barrett 1979]

West Ham defender Alvin Martin scored a hat-trick against three different goalkeepers in the 8-1 win over Newcastle in 1986. The injured Martin Thomas was replaced in the Newcastle goal first by Chris Hedworth, then by Peter Beardsley.

[Wade Barrett 1979]

A referee at a friendly match in Brazil drew a revolver and shot dead a player who disputed a penalty decision. The referee escaped in horseback.

[Wade Barrett 1979]

Hollingsworth Juniors football team from Manchester fell victim to an own gull in a match with Stalybridge Celtic Colts in 1999. Colts were leading 2-1 when 13-year-old striker Danny Worthington tried a speculative shot from 25 yards. The ball was sailing way over the bar until it hit a passing seagull on the head, spun over the Hollingsworth goalkeeper and landed in the net. Despite protests, the goal was allowed to stand. Realizing they were up against 12 men, demoralized Hollingsworth went on to lose 7-1.

[VanHooliganX]

A Manchester City fan was banned in 1995 from bringing dead chickens into City’s Maine Road ground. He used to celebrate City goals by swinging the birds around his head.

Sadly before my time but i've heard stories he tried giving other fans a few heads. Didn't catch on.

Also thank you Mr. 1979! Your stories have been greatly entertaining, especially the barbados 1 and the fa cup man city story that proves we have TypicalCity Syndrome lol. I'll have to get my act in gear if I want to rival your stories.


A few Manchester City stories:
True, there are quite a few already in this, but thats because we have great fun we have whilst watching

Manchester United chant "We shall not, we shall not be moved!"
Manchester City chant (Recently stopped since we've become a powerhouse but we did it vs Bolton this season) "We shall not, we won't win the league!"

Man City once had a brazilian striker with the surname: Alan. He was usually on the subs bench and always an unused sub. Eventually on the last game of the season he came on for 5-10 minutes. Every Man City fan went stupidly loud with cheers and continued everytime he touched the ball. We were louder than when we actually scored in the match.

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gi...=wall&viewas=0
On the last game of the season in 08/09 (I think) we played a new wingback. Pidgeiniho. He didn't score but he got a chant of his own and was sang through blue moon.

A Van story:
We all have a friend who isn't into the sport, thats fine because we can use this to our advantage. A good pub game I made is for who should get the last round in. Simply say to your non-footy liking friend. "Name 4 teams who have won the premier league" Most people, including my friend will say "Chelsea, Arsenal, Man Utd and Liverpool" and sadly Liverpool don't look like getting on that list, its Blackburn Rovers. He had to get the round in, plus you feel smarter and stay alittle richer

[VanHooliganX]

Sorry for a double post. But the other was alittle glitchy when editing and refused to move down or scroll down. Ah well. Who cares really.

I'm about to post a few jokes that you could use yourself. I'm picking rivaled teams at random just because you know how you could use them, or even switch them I hope you enjoy what I found.

A primary teacher starts a new job at a school in West Hampshire and, trying to make a good impression on her first day, explains to her class that she is a Southampton fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Saints fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand expect one little girl.

The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says: 'Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?'

'Because I'm not a Southampton fan', she replied.
The teacher, still shocked, asked: 'Well if you're not a Saints fan, then who are you a fan of?'

'I'm a Portsmouth fan, and proud of it', Mary replied.
The teacher could not believe her ears.

'Mary, why, pray tell, are you a Pompey fan?'

'Because my mum and dad are from Portsmouth, and my mum is a Pompey fan and my dad is a Pompey fan, so I'm a Pompey fan too!'

'Well, 'said the teacher, in a obviously annoyed tone, 'that's no reason for you to be a Portsmouth fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all the time. What if your mum was a prostitute and you dad was a drug dealer and car thief, what what you be then?'

'Then', Mary smiled, 'I'd be a Southampton fan.'



My personal favourite:
A Manchester City van driver used to amuse himself by running over every Manchester United fan he would see strutting down the side of the road in their ubiquitous red and white or green and yellow colours they now wear. He would swerve to hit them, there would be a loud 'thud' and then he would swerve back on the road.

One day, as the driver was driving along, he saw a priest hitchhiking. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the van over. He asked the Priest, 'Where are you going, Father?' I'm going to say mass at St. Joseph's church, about 2 miles down the road' replied the priest. 'No problem Father! I'll give you a lift! climb in!'

The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the van continued down the road.

Suddenly the driver saw a United fan walking down the road and instinctively swerved to hit him. But, just in time, he remembered the priest, so at the last minute he swerved back to the road, narrowly missing the United fan. However even though he was certain he missed the United fan, he still heard a loud 'thud'. Not understanding where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors and when he didn't see anything he turned to the priest and said, 'I'm sorry Father, I almost hit that United fan, ' That's okay' replied the priest. 'I got him with the door!'

[Steve Austin]

I've used that pub trick haha, I am a Liverpool fan but a free drink for 5 seconds of "Liverpool haven't won the prem" is well worth it

Great stories guys, some of these are crazy, I'm gonna have to try and find some that are gonna beat these, it will be difficult

[Tomsta666]

Different season The match we won was Joses first with Chelsea. But that was an awesome 3-0

Hell yeah it was an AWESOME 3-0!!

Another AWESOME BORO result was when we beat Man City 8-1 in 2008. Remember that one!! haha