Thursday, April 25, 2024
EditorialThe Worst Matches Of All Time: Edition #3

The Worst Matches Of All Time: Edition #3

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Los Villanos vs Los Psycho Circus – AAA Triplemania XXIII

MINUS FIVE STARS! So the match was the latest match to be rated -5 stars by the observer. Villano III entered with Villano IV and V for his retirement match, while the Psycho clowns are known for their lengthy stints as six-man tag champs.

It’s immediately apparent why it’s rated so low. There’s no structure, no rules being enforced, two referees stood around, Los Villanos taking it in turns to deliver slow & sloppy offense. You can see the clowns waiting around outside to have their turn. The best spot of the match was the double suicide dive by the clowns. The clowns, despite them looking like heels, didn’t want to play the heels.

The most cringing parts include: one of the clowns using a yellow rag/belt of some kind. The same clown deciding to pick up a chair .. only to show respect for Villano III and throw it away. An aborted pin-fall on Villano III as the clown didn’t want to pin him specifically out of respect.

Immediately after, the same clown asked for another Villano to enter so he could fight them instead. The third Villano coming in only to be held back by both referees for no clear reason. And finally, the other Villano delivering a low-blow so the second referee (who stood around doing nothing) could suddenly “turn around” and count the pin. This is lucha libre at its worst! *The video quality can be changed to 720p*

Christy Hemme vs Big Fat Oily Guy – TNA Against All Odds 2007

This was a tuxedo match, so the first one to strip the other of their suit wins. Not sure how this match came to be, but it’s as bad as it sounds. The Big Fat Oily Guy (despite him not being oily at all) was probably TNA poking fun at WWE and Big Dick Johnson. The best part of the match is seeing Christy’s arse, and the worst part is having to see the finish. I don’t know what else to say about this, other than we were lucky it was a short match.

Jenna Morasca vs Sharmell – TNA Victory Road 2009

MINUS FIVE STARS! This is one of my favourite worst matches ever, as Sharmell had to carry someone else for a change. Jenna Morasca was exceptionally bad and looked more like a dirty escort than a wrestler. Awesome Kong provided some comic relief, but the crowd didn’t appreciate any of it; you can see the fans turning their backs on the match.

The “slap sequence” is frequently played in Botchamania’s (YouTube series) intro. If you can live through this, you can live through any match. Sadly, this is nowhere near the level TNA Knockouts aspire to; it’s the worst Knockouts match by far. You can’t judge the TNA Knockouts by watching this, all you can do is notice how bad Morasca was, and how badly she should stay away from wrestling. *The video quality can be changed to 720p*

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