Match 3: All I Want For Christmas Battle Royal
30 Days off, Darren Young is first out, followed by one of the Usos. JTG gets hung up then tossed out in a battle of the minority stereotypes with Hunico. Alot of stalling before Curt Hawkins gets tossed out by Big Zeke. Sheamus looks at him and they have a bit of a stand off before trading blows...and by blows, I mean socks. Sheamus looks to clothesline him out, but Sheamus pulls the ropes and out goes Zeke. Followed by Johnny Curtis. The second Uso is out next followed by Kofi (who is eliminated by Tyson, in a nice touch). Tyson eliminates his adversary, Yoshi, as well. Tyson then skins the cat before head scissoring Teddy out of the ring. While he's hanging there, Hornswoggle pulls his leg down and Tyson is eliminated as we go to break without notice.
Back from the show and we're left with significantly less superstars. We've got three jobbers, two red heads and a Mexican in a bandanaaaa (To be song to the tune of "12 Days of Christmas"). Titus is eliminated. Heath Slater goes for Sheamus and Jinder helps stomp Sheamus for a bit as Hunico works on Tyler Reks. Sheamus is on FIY-YAH until Reks tries to hop on it. Tyler Reks crawls under the ropes, ok now all five guys roll under the rope to team up on Sheamus. They toss him against the barricade, but NO ONE is eliminated. Now we have, Jinder, Heath, Tyler and Hunico. Jinder is bleeding from the mouth and he makes mention of Hornswoggle under the ring. All four get out, Jinder tosses him in the middle of the ring. The four surround him. Heath pushes him, then Hunico, then all four kick Hornswoggle around. Jinder and Tyler swing Hornswoggle, looking to eliminate him then Sheamus comes in and tosses Tyler, Hunico, Jinder and finally...Heath. We are left with Hornswoggle and Sheamus. Hornswoggle calls for the fight!!! He wants to do this!! Sheamus is all chuckles. He tells Hornswoggle to get out, nicely. Hornswoggle says nope, it's going to be Sheamus going over the top rope. He says he is going to break Sheamus if he doesn't and stomps Sheamus's foot, then kicks his shin. He runs right into a Goozle. Sheamus lifts Hornswoggle, tosses him over, but Hornswoggle holds onto the rope. Sheamus hops over the apron to try and kick him off and asks him to leave again. Both men on the apron. I don't foresee this going well. Hornswoggle is sad. Hornswoggle asks for a hug then pushes Sheamus down, as could be seen miles away.
Winner: Hornswoggle
Sheamus looks upset. He goes into the ring, then smiles and lifts Hornswoggle onto his shoulders. So...we had a battle royal all for Hornswoggle to win and get "a wish." Again, if this doesn't lead to something good in terms of actual wrestlers or a storyline, I will deem tonight's show just as bad as that Thursday one over on Spike...
The Bellas and Ricardo Rodriguez are talking about what to get Alberto Del Rio for Christmas. Roddy Piper and Dusty Rhodes are talking about Cena. Santa walks in and wishes them Happy Holidays. Hornswoggle is here to ask for his wish. Hornswoggle says he wants....Sheamus comes up and says that Hornswoggle wants the ability to talk. Santa says it's been in him all along. He needs the magic of a holiday Santa hug. Hornswoggle speaks!!! He talks! He says a bunch of words then calls Vickie a grandma. They trade me Excuse Me's. He talks and jives out of the ring. Mick Foley comes up in Cactus Jack gear and wants to know when the little guy learned to talk. So, a ten minute match and a backstage segment all to get Hornswoggle to talk, when this has been exposed once already? Hmmmmm
AJ is in the back to wish Daniel Bryan good luck and she gives him a.....AAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH, THE HUMANITY!!!!! She kissed him! I feel like Eminem, hiding in his car, watching Kim make out with a bouncer outside a club!
Ok, composure.
Striker in his Christmas sweater comes to interview Bryan. Bryan talks about his opportunity tonight. Bryan is looking forward to taking advantage of the guy who is not 100% Tonight, his dream becomes a reality.
Match 5: Steel Cage Match Mark Henry vs. Daniel Bryan
Daniel quickly runs up the cage to escape. Mark pulls him down and he tries again on the opposite corner. Henry pulls him down. Bryan goes behind Henry then kicks him in the thighs, but Henry pushes him down in the center of the ring. Bryan goes for some kicks again, but Henry just tosses him to the side of the cage, and Bryan is in between the mesh and the ropes. Henry with a body splash into Henry as we get a break.
We are back and Bryan is still sandwiched between the cage and ropes. Henry finally brings him into the center of the ring and goes for a nerve pinch from behind, clamping down on the shoulder. Bryan kicks his way out of it then runs right into a hard right by Henry. Henry calls for the door to open. He is making his way out, but Bryan dropkicks him into the turnbuckle! Henry with some rights, but Henry just tosses him. Bryan runs right into a clothesline, causing him to flip in the air! Henry stumbles into a cover (nice sell) for the 1..2..NO!!! Henry asks for the door to open again but Bryan holds onto the bad ankle then clips the ankle. He starts to stomp the ankle then puts it on the ropes and drops his body weight on it. Bryan tries to climb but Henry is up quick to trip him up and he lands right on his little Bryans. Henry with another clothesline to Bryan. Henry goes for the door, but Bryan holds onto the ankle once again. Henry tosses him off then hits yet another clothesline. Bryan is down and out while Henry is selling the ankle. Henry lifts Bryan up and looks to catapult Bryan, but Bryan slips out and dropkicks the ankle. Bryan goes for the LaBell Lock. He locks it in! We are in the middle of the ring. Henry's hand is up! He's calling for... (Continues on next page)