unable to compete. Ryback is the reason X-Mas is ruined, as Punk can't even walk thanks to him and Ryback has ruined every winter holiday. Does WWE suspend, fire, or even fine him? Nope, Ryback gets REWARDED with a championship match. MAYBE if it had been proven he worked with a Maddox or a Shield, but that's not the case, and Ryback is living a lie thinking he has a match with the Champ. His holidays are filled with rehab, while everyone else gets to pig out. Heyman buts in, saying we don't BOO him. Punk has been WWE Champion for 400 CON...SEC...UTIVE days, yet he has been the victim of a documented conspiracy in recent months. Ryback's had two chances to win the WWE Championship, and two times Ryback has failed. Punk says one legs or two, he's better than Ryback. Ryback storms down to prove Punk wrong. Heyman talks him down, and promises a lawsuit if Ryback lays a finger on him. Ryback already got his X-Mas wish, the match he and Punk were supposed to have a couple weeks ago, on the first Raw of 2013 for the WWE Championship: Tables, Ladders, and Chairs! "TLC, TLC, TLC!"
WWE Tag Team Champion Daniel Bryan v. Damien Sandow
"NO! NO! NO! HO! HO! HO!" "Silence! NO! Silence! NO!" Bryan goes for the NO! Lock early, but Sandow ducks out. Bryan with a baseball slide dropkick and a knee off the apron. Back in the ring, Bryan with the corner dropkick for a two count. Sandow comes back with shoulders in the corner. Bryan flips ouof the corner, hits a lariat, then nails some kicks, misses the Buzzsaw, and Sandow with a roll-up for two. Sandow rams Bryan into the ringpost from the apron. Sandow slams Bryan's head on the apron twice, and rolls him back in for a cover and a near fall. Slam gets another near fall. Rear chin lock by Sandow, who pulls Bryan down by the beard and puts the boots to him. Leg sweep and Cubito Aequet gets a two count. Bryan propped up for a superplex, but he fights out and knocks down Sandow. Bryan misses the headbutt. Terminus countered, NO! LOCK IS IN! Sandow taps! YES YES YES!
-12-man "12 Days of Christmas" Tag Team Match is NEXT!
12-man "12 Days of Christmas" Tag Team Match: The Usos, Tyson Kidd, Justin Gabriel, Santino Marella & Brodus Clay v. Tensai, The Prime Time Players & 3MB
Darren Young and Brodus start out. Clay knocks down Young, whip to his corner for a splash. Tyson in with a shot to the arm and a wristlock. Tyson counters Young, floats over, and hits a dropkick. Justin in, and he and Tyson hit a double team kick for two. Tensai in with a splash on Gabriel for two, but Justin comes back with an enziguri. Santino and Mahal tag in. Mahal takes down Santino, who counters Mahal and tags in Jey Uso, as Drew McIntyre comes in. Drew counters a float over with a nice kick, and Titus tags in. He slams Jey, then Tensai tags in. He jaw jacks Jey, who tries to fight back, but Tensai with a headbutt. Titus back in, goes for a corner splash, but Jey dodges him. Jimmy gets the tag, as does Slater. Jimmy with the forearms, splash, then "Shades of Rikishi." Kidd and Gabriel take out the rest of 3MB, Brodus takes out the Players, Tensai takes out Brodus, but he gets a COBRA from Santino. Slater with the Smash Hit on Jimym Uso, but Brodus breaks it up. Jimmy superkicks Slater, Gabriel and Tyson tag in consecutively with a moonsault-elbow combo on the prone 3MB leader, then Jey polishes off Slater with a Samoan Splash for three! Brodus and company dance in the ring to celebrate the holidays!
Winners: Brodus Clay, Justin Gabriel, Tyson Kidd & The Usos
-Bryan is excited about the holidays! Kane isn't happy, but got something for Bryan...HIS VERY OWN SLAMMY! Bryan has something for Kane...A PUPPY! "I'm starving! NO! NO! NO! Animals are our friends, not food! Daniel, can't we talk about this?" No recap would do this justice...
-AJ gives us her rendition of "The Night Before Christmas", lauding Dolph Ziggler and dissing all her exes, especially John Cena. She lures Ziggler underneath the mistletoe, and the two make out, knocking over the tree in the process. Lucky, lucky sonova gun!
-Matt Striker with a solemn look, as apparently Santa's taken a turn for the worse. As Striker says this though, the heart monitor goes into a rendition of "Jingle Bells" as Santa's feet start to clap together. YA GOTTA BELIEVE!
-John Cena makes his way down as his "Miracle on 34th Street Fight" is NEXT!
"Miracle on 34th Street" Fight: John Cena v. Alberto Del Rio
Ricardo is a VERY sad X-Mas panda, as he can barely introduce Del Rio. Cena with rights to Del Rio, and drills him with punches in the corner. Del Rio hurled to the outside. He counters a whip, and sends Cena into the steel steps. Kick to Cena's arm. Del Rio rolls him back in for a two count. Del Rio asks for a mic, and tells us it was just an accident, that he wasn't trying to hurt Santa, but lays into Cena with the mic. Cena screams "SANTAAAAA!", grabs the mic, and drills Del Rio with the mic. Cena opens a gift at ringside, and it was just what he wanted...a steel chair. He waffles Del Rio with it, but Ricardo breaks it up. Cena chases Ricardo, but Del Rio ambushes Cena with boots. Ricardo hands Del Rio a present and it's..."A PIE?!" Del Rio waffles Ricardo by accident with the pie! Cena fires back on Del Rio with a bulldog. Del Rio tries to retreat up the ramp, but Cena catches up with him and knocks down Del Rio. Cena opens up another gift, and it's a TV monitor. Man, Cena gets all the good stuff! He brains Del Rio with the monitor as we go to break...
Del Rio has Cena down after Ricardo distracted him. Del Rio opens another present, and he's not a happy camper as Ricardo gave him...A BEAR! Del Rio "surprises" Cena, but the bear glances off him, and Cena says "Are you serious? A bear?" Del Rio with a kick and punches Cena down the ramp, but Cena slams him into the barricade. "USE THE TREE! USE... (Continues on next page)