Event: WWE Monday Night RAW
Airdate: Monday, March 25th, 2013 (USA Network)
Location: The Wells Fargo Center in Philadelphia, PA
Results by Ken Hill
“Yes, sir, we promised you a great main event…”
Welcome to Monday Night Raw and this week Raw is coming to us live from the Wells-Fargo Centre in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania and we kick things off with CM Punk and Paul Heyman coming out to the ring. Punk takes the mic and says "they" say Undertaker's Wrestlemania will never be beaten and he is unstoppable on the grandest stage of them all and that the urn somehow feeds his power. Punk then asks who "they" are and if "they" know what "they" are talking about. Methinks us smarks and snarks are the "they" Punk's ragging on.
Everyone has an opinion but his is the only one that matters because it becomes fact and calls himself relevant. He says last year Undertaker went 20-0 and it should have ended there but Undertaker ruined it all by walking onto Punk's show and pointing at his sign and now because of his action, the storybook is being rewritten by a man who happens to be the Best In The World. Punk says the fans can boo him all they want but Undertaker is to blame because it's all his fault and he didn't take the urn to disprespect Paul Bearer. He took it because it's something that belongs to The Undertaker and it doesn't mean a thing to him. Punk says Undertaker's earned his streak, all Punk is going to do is break it. Undertaker is at a psychological disadvantage for the first time because Punk has something Undertaker once and Undertaker should have stayed gone but he came back. Punk said against any other man Undertaker would have gone 21-0, 50-0 etc. and he's waiting for the lights to go off and Undertaker to say rest in peace but Punk's never had any time for rest and at Wrestlemania it will be Undertaker's streak that will rest in peace. The bell then tolls and the lights go off and Undertaker appears and attacks Punk. The urn falls from the ring, Heyman scoops it up and does the ugliest-ass 40-yard sprint up the ramp I've ever seen as he and Punk retreat up the ramp, trolling Taker as he signals Punk's eventual demise.
FAN...DAN...GOGOGO...debuts (not) next!
As we return to Raw, Fandango's music hits and here's the huge, cheesy dance stage, complete with pseudo strip-club streamers, as he and his lovely lady dancer make their way down to the ring. King is COMPLETELY marking out for Fandango, and something tells me he might announce Fandango at WM 29 just so we'll get a match out of Curtis.
He seems ready for competition and begins to announce his name...Jericho's music hits and he storms the ring in a rage, laying waste to Fandango and Lawler is once again denied his man-candy as Fandango retreats up the ramp. Jericho whips the crowd into a frenzy, and awaits his opponent for tonight, "The Show Off" himself, Dolph Ziggler, with CR-AJ and Big E. Langston in tow!
Chris Jericho vs. Dolph Ziggler w/AJ Lee & Big E. Langston
SHOW...ON! Jericho takes Ziggler down and unloads with right hands on him. Irish whip and a back elbow to Ziggler. Jericho with a suplex gets a two count. Ziggler, off the Irish whip, catches Jericho with a kick to the face. Irish whip by Jericho again reversed by Ziggler. Jericho looks for the Walls, but Ziggler counters. Irish whip in the corner by Dolph and Ziggler runs into an elbow. Crossbody off the top rope by Jericho gets two as we go to a mid-match break...
As we return from the break, Ziggler has a chin lock on Jericho. Jericho fights out and counters with a roll up for two. Ziggler catches Jericho with a snap dropkick for a near fall. Jericho fights back with chops and Ziggler stops the rally with a knee to Jericho. Ziggler locks the abdominal stretch in. Jericho struggles out and counters into a hip toss. Jericho with a series of shoulder tackles to fire up. Jericho off the top rope with the double axe handle. Irish whip countered by Ziggler. Jericho with the boot to the face. Running bulldog by Jericho. Jericho kicks Langston with his signature springboard dropkick, sending the big man to the floor. Ziggler with a floating DDT to Jericho gets a CLOSE near fall. Ziggler looks for the sleeper hold, but Jericho holds onto the rope. Jericho catches Dolph in the Walls and he locks it in! He cinches in the knee on Ziggler's head for the "Liontamer" edition, and Dolph taps!
Winner: Chris Jericho
Langston, post-match, with a clothesline from behind, flooring Jericho. He picks Jericho up and delivers the Big Ending. Ziggler, Langston and AJ mock Jericho and leave him to Fandango, who returns to the ring, dancing over Jericho's proverbial "grave". He lays some heavy right hands into Jericho, demanding him to say his name right. Jericho tries a measly chop, but Fandango with a thrust kick and goes up top with a nice top-rope legdrop to polish off Jericho.
We go backstage with Matt Striker, who's interviewing Sheamus. After we see the replay of last Friday's Smackdown, where the trio of Sheamus, Randy Orton and Big Show nearly came to blows after their first tag match as a team, only to unite when the Shield made their presence known. Striker asks if the hatchet's been buried between the three men. Before Sheamus can respond, The Shield strikes, beating him down until Orton comes in with a steel chair. That's all for naught, as the Shield take him down as well. It's not until Show puts himself in the Shield's path that they retreat, and the three erstwhile partners look on at one another. "Voice of Reason" = HEEL TURN!
HE'S HERE TO DO WHAT HE DO! Mark Henry marches down to the ring as he is in 2-on-1 handicap action...NEXT!
Mark Henry vs. The Usos
We're back and The Usos are out now. Henry locks up with one of the Usos and sends him to the mat. Henry tosses Jey... (Continues on next page)