Event: WWE Monday Night RAW
Airdate: Monday, May 20th, 2013 (USA Network)
Location: The Sprint Center in Kansas City, MO
Results by Ken Hill
“Yes, sir, we promised you a great main event…”
An ambulance is seen driving into the arena and the crowd actually pops for the entrance...it's Ryback! New gear and all! We see still shots of his Last Man Standing match with John Cena. He stands tall on the ambulance. He says while it was a no contest and Cena walked away with the WWE Title, but he was carried off. We see "exclusive" footage where Cena refused medical facilities. He says in their next match, Cena won't refuse attention, because it will be an Ambulance Match for the WWE Championship at WWE Payback!
He says it's not just John Cena he'll take to the hospital, but all of the WWE Universe. He calls the fans fat, pathetic, and weak, WEAK, WEAK! He says the fans are lost souls of society who worship Cena because he works hard, something they could never understand or do. At Payback, when he takes Cena to the hospital, then the morgue, Ryback will be taking all of Cena's fans with him. None of them matter to Ryback...because RYBACK! RULES!
Cole, Lawler and JBL mull over Ryback's words and announce that Paul Heyman has indeed found a new client as rumored in recent weeks, and that new member of Heyman Enterprises will be announced tonight!
Tag team action is next, with Y2J and Mike the Miz taking on FAN...DAN...GOOO and Woi Barrah!
IC Champion Wade Barrett & Fandango w/Summer Rae vs. Chris Jericho & The Miz
Barrett's got an interesting new theme song, and Fandango's rocking the rainbow trout tights...talk about opposites.
Jeri-Miz reunites! Jericho and Wade start it out. Jericho with a dropkick to Barrett, followed by some chops. Barrett gets an elbow after countering a whip. Fandango tags in and goes after him with boots. Hard whip to the corner by Fandango, and some hard rights to Jericho. Jericho reverses a whip, but Fandango gets a boot up. Fandango tags to Barrett, who seems to object, but Fandango just preens and poses to the crowd as we go to commercial...
Barrett has Miz in a sleeper, but Fandango's paying more attention to himself and summer Rae...who wouldn't pay attention to the latter. Miz has Barrett down and set up for the Figure Four, but Fandango's on the mic and corrects his name at the announce table...then his music hits and he starts dirty dancing with Summer Rae in the middle of the match! EVERYONE is stumped and amazed by this. Including Barrett, who gets waylaid by Jericho. He hits a bulldog, the lionsault, and CODEBREAKER! Jeircho just looks on at Fandango bemused, and tags in Miz, who locks in the Figure Four on Barrett for the tap out.
Winners: The Miz & Chris Jericho
Post-match, Miz and Jeircho look to break up Dance Time at the announce table, but Fandango leaves through the crowd (knocking over a fan in the process; hello lawsuit!). Summer Rae looks lost and eyes Jericho. They lock eyes, get closer, and Jericho dips her, then...HAND TO THE FACE, GIRLFRIEND! Jeri-troll strikes! Miz gives it a 10!
We're reminded of Ryback's Ambulance Match challenge at WWE Payback and Heyman's new client.
Vickie Guerrero out now to announce that Jack Swagger will be in action and, via the WWE App, fans can decide his opponent: Great Khali, R-Truth or Randy Orton!
JBL and company highlight the Shield's big night at Extreme Rules with Ambrose winning the US Title and Rollins & Reigns taking the Tag titles from Team Hell No.
Daniel Bryan in the locker room, looking frustrated. He feels naked without the tag titles, and Kane cracks a few jokes about that. Bryan asks how he can make jokes, and Kane says that in order to win back their titles they can't afford to show dissension or weakness. Bryan thinks Kane implied that he's the weak link and they argue before Kofi breaks it up. Bryan just walks off in a huff.
Sheamus out to the ring and he is in action NEXT!
Sheamus vs. Titus O'Neil w/Darren Young
This match came out of the harsh words Titus, Henry's training partner, had for Sheamus during the post-match show.
Sheamus and Titus lock up, going into the corner. Sheamus powers Titus off. Sheamus gets knocked down by Titus, who barks to the crowd. Sheamus cuts off the barking, throwing Titus over the ropes, and decides to go a clubberin', if you will! Sheamus to the outside, and Young tries to interfere, but gets thrown into the barricade. Titus knocks down Sheamus and rolls him into the ring. Impressive standing fall away slam by Titus gets a 2 count. An inverted pumphandle drop gets another 2 count for O'Neil. He keeps Sheamus down on the mat with an elbow, then a sleeper hold. Sheamus fights out. He goes for White Noise, but Titus counters and throws Sheamus to the outside. Sheamis stun guns Titus, but Young pulls on Sheamus' boot as he jumps, and Sheamus is hung up on the top rope. Clubbing blow by Titus gets a near fall. Sheamus comes back with White soon after, and polishes off Titus with the Brogue Kick for the 3.
Heyman reveals his new client NEXT!
Paul Heyman comes to the ring, and tells us to get the "boos" out of our system. He asks the fans what it's like to be powerless, as a true "Paul Heyman guy" Brock Lesnar emerged victorious and the WWE's COO Triple H will go down in history against Brock Lesnar as a loser. Brock enjoys the spoils of war, while Triple H goes home to "mommy." While Brock has fulfilled his WWE obligations, we wonder what Heyman will talk about now. Well, here;s the moment where we press record, the Sportscenter moment: CURT AXEL!
The Perfect son is in the house! And with a rocking remix of his father's music as well! Heyman says this is the same reaction as when he introduced Brock Lesnar in 2002,... (Continues on next page)