Event: WWE Monday Night RAW
Airdate: Monday, August 5th, 2013 (USA Network)
Location: The Resch Center in Green Bay, WI
Results by H. Winston
“Yes, sir, we promised you a great main event…”
We are live in Green Bay, WI. The show starts with Stephanie McMahon already in the ring. She says it is no secret that her dad does not believe Daniel Bryan is championship material, though many of the audience and Triple H disagree. Stephanie has a plan to make Daniel Bryan more palatable.
[A video shows Daniel Bryan working out, eating steak at a nice restaurant, and being measured for a suit. He did not look happy when he saw himself in the mirror.]
Daniel Bryan's music hits, he comes out in a suit and tie with a ponytail and YES's to the ring. Stephanie says he looks sharp and give Bryan the ring to himself. The crowd chimes in with "Yes!" chants. He asks if the crowd likes his look and they all say no. Bryan thanks Stephanie for her time and effort, but says that this is not what the company wants. The company wants someone who is jacked up and wears cargo shorts with a bright T-shirt. Someone who can sell everyone things they don't actually need. Someone like John Cena. Bryan says he respects Cena, but he says that Cena does not think Bryan can beat him. Why would he think Bryan could beat him? Cena is in movies and on cereal boxes, while Bryan has a scraggly beard and from nowhere in the northwest. Bryan says that Cena is an entertainer, but Daniel Bryan is a wrestler. Cena has been in the sold out arenas, he has not seen the mud that Bryan has crawled through because he is a wrestler. If Cena is fired, he goes back to his mansion and his multi-million dollar lifestyle. If Bryan gets fired, you'll see him working in the gym. As the crowd cheers, Bryan says that they must like wrestling too. In with the YES chants. Bryan says he will dress in the suit, for now, and do what they want, for now. But at SummerSlam he's going to do what everyone wants him to do: make Cena tap out.
Enter Vince. Vince looks Bryan over and says Bryan's pants are too short. Vince doesn't want Cena to be champion but wants Bryan to be champion even less. But Vince is warming up to Bryan. WWE has never had a dwarf as a champion. WWE has never had a champion with the muscles of a toothpick. He says Bryan looks like a miniature Mick Foley. But something could be worked out. He says Bryan's makeover needs one more thing. He looks at Bryan's beard and asks if he has a bird nest in it. If Bryan wants Vince's support, he will need to shave the beard off. He says to bring down the chair. A chair is hauled to ringside. Bryan starts a NO chant. Vince says the people don't know what they want, he knows what they want. Vince says Bryan has come this far, it's just one more step. Bryan reluctantly gets in the chair, and Vince asks Wade Barret to come to the ring to do the honors. Barret comes out with the proper tools, and tells Bryan not to worry because he has done this before. Vince notes that Barret's father used to be a barber, or "whatever they called it in the UK". As Bryan asks Barret to leave a spot on his beard, he headbutts Barret, throws him into the chair and begins shaving Barret's beard. He throws Barret over the barricade and YES's to the top of the stage. Bryan says he's going to be who he has always been and be the WWE champion. He takes the suit off and reveals a shirt that mocks Cena's shirt and says "the beard is here". Bryan says "The beard is here!" and his music sends him off. Vince looks upset.
Miz is ringside with the announce team. Cole says that Miz will be the official host of SummerSlam.
RVD vs Alberto Del Rio
RVD enters the ring. Ricardo Rodriguez is back from his injury suffered by being put through a table, and announces Del Rio to the ring. The two go back and forth, RVD gets an early standing moonsault with a 2-count. RVD gets another moonsault from the apron onto Del Rio outside the ring. Christian is shown watching the match from backstage.
Back from commercial, Del Rio is in control. RVD regains control with a series of clotheslines. He tries to follow up with Rolling Thunder but misses. Del Rio goes for a kick while RVD is in the corner but misses. RVD jumps to the top and hits a jumping kick on Del Rio. RVD hits rolling thunder with a 2-count. Ricardo had set his metal bucket in the corner for Del Rio to use, but RVD uses this to his advantage and causes Del Rio to go head-first into the bucket. RVD gets the 3-count.
Post-match: Del Rio kicks Rodriguez and beats him with the bucket. He then throws Rodriguez out of the ring. JBL says that this is what you do when an employee messes up. Del Rio sets Rodriguez up between the steel steps and the ring, and does a dropkick to the steps, smashing Rodriguez.
Back from commercial, Cody Rhodes is in the ring. Rhodes has a gift for Sandow in a brown box, similar in shape and size of Sandow's briefcase. . A video shows the past two-weeks of shenanigans between Rhodes and Sandow. Rhodes pulls Sandow's briefcase out of the box, dripping wet with some green gulf plants hanging out of it. Sandow comes out to get the case. He tells Rhodes to leave the ring. Cody gets out, but enters as Sandow does to attack him. He beats Sandow out of the ring and throws the briefcase at him. Cole says that Sandow is "all washed up".
Ryback vs Mark Henry
Ryback comes out, followed by Mark Henry. The two men have a stare down. Henry hits a running shoulder to knock Ryback down. Ryback gets Henry down, followed by a series of kicks. He tries a running attack but Henry retaliates with another shoulder. Ryback rolls out of the ring and walks back to the top of the stage to be counted out.
Winner: Mark Henry
The Bellas are shown backstage. One of them said they looked hot. The other says she was hot too. They discuss the ratings of Total Divas and... (Continues on next page)