them. They say good luck following them tonight. They sing a verse from some crap song and walk off all excited. Florida Georgia Line says they’re going to go get ready for their performance.
Backstage: Randy Orton Is Pissed
Backstage, Orton is with a WWE trainer. He tells him to give him some ice. Orton yells asking where The Shield was. He tells the trainer to give him another bag of ice. Orton says screw this and tells the trailer to leave. He says The Shield wants to leave him by himself, he sees how it is.
The Real Americans vs. Kofi Kingston & The Miz
We return live in the arena and Zeb Colter is just getting to his “would you please rise…” portion of his usual speech. Kofi Kingston’s music hits and out he coems. Out next is The Miz. Cole announces a match for SmackDown, which I BELIEVE was The Usos vs. The Real Americans. Didn’t quite fully catch what he said. I’ll find out in a minute and update everyone. The bell rings and Miz and Antonio Cesaro start things off. Cesaro is in control early, beating Miz’s ass all over the ring. Finally, Miz catches Cesaro running to the corner with a clothesline. Cesaro catches Miz off the middle rope with crazy-strength and slams him. Cesaro hits Miz with a backbreaker and tags Jack Swagger in. Swagger picks up where Cesaro left off. Ok, it’s The Real Americans vs. Cody Rhodes & Goldust for the WWE Tag-Team Championships this Friday on SmackDown. Sorry about that! They’re plugging all kinds of stuff for SmackDown and Survivor Series all at once. Kingston tags in and goes to work on Swagger. Swagger ends up beating up Kingston for a while. When Kingston goes to make the tag to Miz, Miz hops off the apron and throws his hands up. He smiles at Kingston. Heel turn. Swagger locks Kingston in the Patriot Lock and Kingston taps out.
Winners: The Real Americans
Backstage: Vickie Guerrero Fakes An Injury
Backstage, Vickie Guerrero yells for the doctor to help her. When the doctor walks in, Guerrero is sitting up against the wall on the floor. She’s faking an injury trying to get out of her match against AJ Lee, which was just announced as happening next. We head to commercial.
Backstage: Stephanie McMahon Stops Vickie
Backstage, Vickie Guerrero is on a stretcher and being carried away. Stephanie McMahon walks up. She says to take Guerrero straight to the hospital. The doctors say she has normal blood pressure and a normal pulse. Stephanie says to take her to the hospital right after her match. Guerrero pops up and bitches and moans.
Vickie Guerrero vs. AJ Lee
The doctors are pushing Vickie to the ring on the stretcher. Vickie is complaining and groaning all the way to the ring. She screams big time to the point that it’s more annoying than usual. Oh god, someone shut her up please. Please! AJ’s music hits and out she comes. That only shuts her up temporarily, as we can still hear Vickie screaming over top AJ’s music. My god please stop. I’m begging you. PLEASE! They roll Vickie in the ring. Vickie faints and lays on her back. AJ, who is with Tamina Snuka, looks at her with disgust. The ref checks on Vickie. Vickie says she needs water. “Water. Can we have some water. She needs water,” says the referee. Vickie drinks some and wets herself down as AJ looks on smiling. The bell rings and Vickie crawls across the ring and out to the floor. Vickie is stopped by Tamina. Vickie faints again. Vickie crawls up Tamina’s body. She uses Tamina’s hand as a fan and then runs up the ramp. AJ stops her. AJ throws Vickie in the ring. Wonder if all the fainting Vickie is doing is a shot at AJ for fainting on Saturday in England, or just a big coincidence? Hmm…Anyways, Vickie is begging off AJ on her knees in the ring. AJ nods as if she understands. Then she slaps Vickie in the Black Widow. Vickie taps within a second. AJ skips around. Vickie looks bummed in the ring. That’s about it. And thank god, by the way.
Winner: AJ Lee
Backstage: Damien Sandow, Dolph Ziggler & Triple H
Backstage, Damien Sandow and Dolph Ziggler are in Triple H’s office. HHH says he knows they have differences, and tonight at RAW Country, they’ll get to settle them. He says the two will compete in a “Broadway Brawl.” He says what does that mean? He says he doesn’t even know, but they’ll make it entertaining. He tells them to go out there and make music together.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Damien Sandow
We return live in the arena and the ring is filled with musical instruments. Guitars, bass-fiddles, drums, etc. Dolph Ziggler’s music hits and out he comes. The announcers joke with Jerry Lawler during Ziggler’s introduction about Andy Kaufman still being alive. Damien Sandow’s music hits and out comes “the uncrowned champion of WWE.” No promo from Sandow, as these two immediately start brawling. Sandow throws Ziggler out to the floor. Sandow has an electric guitar, but he sets it down and goes out to the floor after Ziggler. Sandow grabs the guitar and goes to hit Ziggler with it. Ziggler moves and Sandow smashes the guitar into the ringside steps. Ziggler leaps off the steps and nails Sandow. Ziggler throws Sandow into the ring. Sandow catches Ziggler coming back in the ring and is putting the boots to the “Show Off.” Sandow grabs another guitar but Ziggler blasts him with punches to make him drop it. Ziggler knocks Sandow out of the ring with a picture-perfect dropkick. Ziggler goes to the top rope but Sandow stops him. Sandow throws Ziggler off and Ziggler goes crashing through a keyboard on a stand. We head to a mid-match commercial. When we return from commercial, Ziggler blasts Sandow with an instrument and hits him with the Fame-Asser. He attempts to pin him but only gets two. Both guys and up beating each other up with every remaining instrument in the ring. Sandow has the last instrument that’s in one piece, another electric guitar. He goes to nail Ziggler with it but... (Continues on next page)