Winner: Lord Tensei (referee stoppage, 2:00)
Tensei isn't done yet, and applies THE CLAW to Tatsu.
That is the only redeeming factor of Tensei thus far. I've been longing for The Claw. I'm not saying I don't like it, but his offense is slow and boring. But I LOVE THE CLAW!
We see highlights of Chris Jericho's attack on CM Punk last week, and promote Punk-Henry for later tonight!
[Commercial Break.]
Cole & Lawler welcome us back, and Lawler mentions that they have 30 wounded warriors in the crowd. And you know the WWE hooked up them and their families, letting in over 100 people free. Can't help but commend the WWE for that.
Extended highlights of Chris Jericho's attack on CM Punk from last week.
CM Punk makes his entrance, and immediately grabs the mic. He squats in the center of the ring, bit doesn't sit. He then stands and speaks. He "breaks his silence" from the past week (outside of his FOX appearance of course). He puts Straight Edge over as his personal choice. It's his way of life, and he's proud of it. He mentions reasons for being Straight Edge—but prefaces it by saying it doesn't matter and it's no one's business. It doesn't even matter, he's the "best damn wrestler in the world" either way. That gets a nice "CM PUNK!" chant. He's upset about Chris Jericho revealing his father's past, making up stories about his sister and talking ill of his mother. Jericho wanted to get into his head--but he still made Jericho tap at ‘Mania. Then Jericho took it one step further—one step too far. And all he could think about was smelling exactly like his father did. And that gets Punk emotional.
Jericho interrupts Punk from the Titan Tron, and Jericho asks if Punk is hung-over. He says Punk is still tipsy, and we're all witnessing Punk's first bender. Punk denies, but Jericho immediately talks about step 1 of Punk's 12-step recovery program. I'm thinking Jericho did a pre-tape. I wonder how many dates are on his contract? Jericho calls him CM Drunk, which gets under Punk's skin. Since that goes exactly against the core of Straight Edge—total self-control. Punk tells Jericho he hasn't broken him, and he's coming after Chris Jericho from the dark place he's been sent to.
"It's no longer about me being the best in the world, this is about me…kicking your ass!"
--CM Punk
Speaking of ass kicking...enter Mark Henry. Did you forget, Punk?
[Commercial Break.]
Very effective promo that makes me care about the feud even though Punk already won. Punk has always been a great promo guy. Make it personal and he's even better.
WWE Championship Match
CM Punk (champion) vs. Mark Henry
Punk immediately goes after Henry to start. He rocks Henry with a clothesline, but a second sees Punk go down instead. We head outside, and Punk attacks Henry with the announce table monitor.
Winner: Mark Henry (DQ, 0:48)
Punk tries to attack further, and Jericho IS here. He makes his way out, with alcohol in hand. Henry attacks Punk with multiple World Strongest Slams in the center of the ring. Jericho, with his awesome jacket, slides the alcohol in the ring. He opens a beer to pour on Jericho, but Punk catches him first. Code Breaker follows from the former Y2J, and an irate Jericho opens up multiple cans to pour over Jericho. I still don't think it is real alcohol (much like last week), but I do believe Cena was really bleeding, friends.
"It's all for you! Drink it in! Drink it in, Punk! ... You want another drink? This one's for your father!"
--Chris Jericho
Punk makes his way to his feet, and charges. Jericho responds with another Code Breaker, then goes to retrieve the belt. Punk is out in the ring.
The match was an after-thought, but leaves me excited for Punk's next feud, after Jericho. As for the matter at hand? When you put two men together, and both are capable of carrying a feud, you have the potential for magic. Just sit back and enjoy the ride.
[Commercial Break.]
B.A.Star. ... WOO! WOO! WOO! ... Ricardo Rodriguez. Means one thing.
Smackdown highlights? By the way, I don't think ADR pulled the famous Eddie trick. I think he won on accident. And that set Sheamus off.
Zack Ryder vs. Alberto Del Rio
ADR immediately pounces on Ryder. Seated dropkick for two. Del Rio beats on Ryder in the corner, working over his arm in the process—nice bit of psychology. Ryder reverses fortune, connecting with the Broski Boot. Rough Ryder is avoided, allowing Del Rio to slap on the cross arm breaker.
Winner: Alberto Del Rio (submission, 1:24)
Del Rio wipes his nose with Rider's wristband.
I liked the match, but I was looking forward to a longer match that would have put Ryder over in a loss. But Del Rio has a PPV title shot coming up, right off of a return. So it makes sense.
Up next! The Three Stooges join us in the arena. I am (not) excited to recap that.
[Commercial Break.]
Three Stooges in Ring
We start with two stooges, and it doesn't go well. Curly finally makes his way out doing his Hogan impersonation. Lawler: "He lost some weight!" That, of course, is a dig, since Will Sasso if far fatter than Hogan. He does a good Hogan impersonation, using "dude" as much as "brother," which is often overlooked. But this is pointless—especially in the ring for the fans to crap all over.
FIRE?!?!
Here comes Kane to possible save this segment. Moe and Larry bail, and Sasso does the typical Hogan shtick. That does get a reaction. Curly eats a chokeslam like a champ. He impersonation and the chokeslam were great, the rest wasn't.
Mark Henry Backstage
Mark Henry is backstage with Josh Matthews, and asked to explain his... (Continues on next page)
Reporter's Link:
What Happened *AFTER* RAW Ended - HUGE SEGMENT w/ DAVE BATISTA!!!!.....