jerseys, before ending on one of London's teams. I haven't the slightest clue who, but the shirt is pink.
Match 2: United States Championship Match:
Santino Marella vs. David Otunga
Lockup quickly, but Santino tries for a knee. Otunga sends Santino to the ropes and hits a bodyslam into a pin for 1..2..NO! Otunga with a cravat then starts dropping some fists onto Santino. A rope assisted knee drop then an elbow drop and a pin for 1...2..NO. Santion blocks a right hand and hits some rights. He splits, but Otunga sees it and kicks Santino in the face. Otunga with a Spinebuster and pins...horribly, but Santino reaches the rope with his foot. Otunga argues with the ref, so Santino gets some momentum behind him with his splits and head drop, before calling for the Cobra. He hits it and pins for 1...2...3!
Winner and STILL United States Champion: Santino Marella (*)
Otunga messed a pin...a PIN. Nothing to see here, folks.
In the back, Mathews is here to question Lord Tensai. His dude tries to talk, but Tensai stops him and speaks some Japanese. He says that we fear the unknown, and he knows what we should fear.
Next, a "controversial, brass and explosive interview!"
The interview starts with the fact that he's "not a Superstar." He's an ass kicker. He says in high school, dominant. In college, dominant. Recruited by the WWE, dominant. They wanted him and needed him. He is the youngest WWE Champion ever. When he left the WWE, people doubted him, then he became the UFC Heavyweight Champ and proved everyone wrong. Why did he come back? This isn't a feel good moment, this isn't a missing of the fans. He doesn't care about anyone but Brock Lesnar. This is strictly business. We need a gu to legitamize this company and Brock is that guy. We're tired of John Cena's bullshit. Cena is not the real guy, and the only reason why Cena is in the spot that he's in is because Brock left. If he was still around, Cena would be carrying Brock's bag. This is real, as proven by the blood in Cena's mouth. What's running through Cena's mind? He doesn't give a crap. What's more important is what's running down his leg. This isn't a wrestling match on April 29th, it's an Extreme Rules match. Brock is coming for a fight. He only gave Cena a little appetizer, and he hopes Cena liked the taste. He's not a superstar, he's an ass kicker, he is Brock Lesnar. What makes him happy? Beating people up.
Match 3: Zack Ryder vs. Kane
Obviously, shit didn't go down as a match.
Winner: No Contest
Kane on the mic. He mentions the joyful family reunion on Smackdown that the Orton's had. Way to treat Ryder like an afterthought...Kane claims that he expected Orton's father to go down without a fight, but he didn't expect it from Orton. Kane guesses it's true what they say, "like father, like son."
Backstage, Kofi is talking to Mrs. AJ Acero, attempting to give her a word of advice. Bryan is here and he hilariously says that just because he clearly doesn't want her doesn't mean it's open season. He claims that when he puts Kofi in the LaBell Lock....wait, why is he calling it the LaBell Lock!? Instead, he will call it....the YES Lock! He starts a Yes chant in the freakin hallway and Kofi has trouble not smirking, as do I! He does it a good 20 times, continuing as Kofi walks away! Haha. Brilliant!
Next week, a THREE HOUR RAW! Oh....joy.
Cena brings up Johnny Laurinitis as the guy who is behind the guy. At Mania, Johnny Ace became the most powerful man in the WWE, and when you ask him about how he feels towards John Cena, he'd probably say "Cena Sucks." It's not the first time he heard it, so that's fine. The problem is, when someone as powerful as Johnny Ace uses that authority to abuse and replace John Cena, there's an issue. The sad part is that Johnny Ace isn't even a man, he won't fire Cena, he'd rather "legitamize" all of this. What does he do? He gets Brock Lesnar. Brock Lesnar, the man who the whole world thought was the most anticipated event in the company. Why? Because after a year of hearing Rock and Cena talk about "Entertainment" and "catchphrases." Brock isn't about that, though, he's about destruction. Brock doesn't care about how many people he wins over, Brock stands for pain and dominance and he claims that he stands for torture at Extreme Rules. On April 29, Cena steps into the ring with a man whose sole purpose on the planet is to end and replace Cena.
Cena claims he knows what Brock is and what he's capable of, but he's going to go to Extreme Rules and he's going to fight. Fear can be overcome, time can heal wounds. If he's walking into Chicago to get his ass kicked, he don't care...he will fight. Johnny Ace's eerily patriotic music hits, and out comes the man himself. He introduces himself in case you don't know who he is. Ace says that although one era has ended, another one has begin. That era is "People Power." He wants to give everyone a taste of what's going to happen at Extreme Rules by putting him in an Extreme Rules match tonight. He also wants to remind Cena that next Monday there will be a contract signing. Ace won't let us know who Cena's opponent is tonight because this makes it more exciting. Sure, Ace....Sure.
We're back, and Truth is in the backstage area. He walks by a secret compartment that looks like a book shelf. Bet you he wishes he had the Marauder's Map...
Match 4: Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan
Bryan grabs the arm, suplexes Kofi over the head then screams YES! Kofi kicks him, and the crowd boos! haha. Bryan sends Kofi to the corner, and Bryan hits a dropkick in the corner. Bryan drops a knne to the face of Kofi. Then another. Bryan grabs the arm and drops it on his shoulder, then locks in a key lock. KHe wraps Kof's arm around the rope then kicks him a couple of times before sending Kofi to the ropes and hitting a knee to the gut. Bryan covers for 1. Bryan pulls Kofi's arm towards the mat then stomps it. Kofi with a hit to the gut of Bryan, and... (Continues on next page)