So says the superstar in the YES! YES! YES! t-shirt. Punk points to the stage and says almost a year ago, he's spoke his mind and people tell him that they think his promo was one of the best of RAW. He kind of rolls his eyes, because most people that say that are people that didn't like him beforehand. The only thing that has changed is...absolutely nothing. He's the same guy he was. He achieved success at the highest level on his own terms. He hasn't kissed anyone's ass, but he can't say the same about Bryan. They both shattered the glass cieling, but ever since then, Bryan has become self absorbed, insecure and obnoxious goat-faced morons. The crowd chants Goat Face. Whether you like it or not, Punk is going to give Bryan a wake up call when he puts him to sleep!
BOOM goes the dynamite, and Kane is here. He wants to remind them just who/what he is. He has electrocuted Shane's balls, burnt JR's back and tombstoned a priest. He says his pipe bombs are actual pipe bombs and this is why he will leave as the champion.
The wonderful voice of AJ is here. She wants the three of them to stop. She tells Kane that regardless of what he says, he looked into his eyes last week and he saw that deep down, in that tortured soul, Kane actually has a heart. Punk grins :"You gotta looooove crazy chicks." Crazy Chick chant, now. As for Daniel, AJ says that they say you never truly get over your first love and she knows she hasn't. Finally, Punk. AJ grins at him, as Punk waves. Her eyelashes are batting. "And Punk...you're just pretty much the coolest guy I've ever known in my entire life." Bryan wants to know what the hell her point is. She says that this Sunday, she knows the best man will win.
Johnny Ace is on the screen. He tells us that tonight we will get Daniel Bryan and Kane vs. CM Punk and AJ. Well alright, then.
We come back to Jerry Lawler ordering a pizza.
Match 3: Christian vs. The Great Khali vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Jack Swagger
Swagger goes to Khali and gets chopped for his trouble. Same to Dolph. Khali sends Christian to the corner and chops him hard. He then goes after Dolph and is about to whip him, but chops him instead. Khali with a headbutt to Dolph. He sends Dolph into the corner and is about to chop, but here's Swagger. He grabs Swagger by the hand and shoves him into Dolph a few times before taking him to the corner. Dolph attacks the leg but gets nothing. Khali chokes him up but Swagger clips the leg. Ziggler with a dropkick. Christian is up top and hits a frog splash. All three men cover, and it appears to be an elimination match up.
Khali Eliminated by All three Men
Back to the show, and Dolph hits Christian with a hard dropkick. Swaagger gets Christian into a bit of a wheelbarrow, and Dolph face plants him. Pin by Swagger and Chirstian kicks out. Christian is hanging up on the ropes and Vickie comes by to slap her hard. Swagger has Christian locked up from behind. Ziggler runs to hit but Christian bends down and lifts him over the ropes. Christian hits a hard clothesline, gets lifted by Swagger. He tries to roll Swagger up, but Christian hits him down, goes up top and hits a shoulder block off th escond rope. He calls for the Unprettier, but in comes Ziggler and rolls him up. HE'S GOT THE TIGHTS!! 1....2..NO!!! Christian drops Ziggler and here's Swagger to attempt something, but Christian with the Unprettier. Blocked. Swagger sends Christian to the corner. Christian hops over with a sunset flip and a pin for 1...2..NO! Swagger with an ankle lock. He's got it locked right in the cneter. Christian rolls forward, sending Swagger shoulder first into the corner. Christian is here, and he hits the Kill Switch!!! Before he can pin, Dolph Ziggler comes in and pins Jack Swagger!!!
Jack Swagger Eliminated by Dolph Ziggler
The crowd is chanting for Ziggler. Ziggler runs and Chirstian faceplants him! Pin for 1...2...NO!!!Dolph is up and he hits a dropkick. Pin for 2. Dolph is working the hell out of the already injured ankle. Christian is able to kick him away. He hits a right, another. He sends Dolph to the corner, but Dolph hops over him and locks in a sleeper! Christian gets out and hits a big right. Christian is calling for the Spear! He runs but stops mid way as the ankle gives out. He's able to slingshot Dolph, though, then hits a spear!! Pin for 1...2...NO!!! Christian is calling for the Killswitch. Dolph ducks it and hits a leg drop! Pin for 1...2...NO!! Ziggler looks for the Zig Zag, but Christian with an inverted DDT. Christian is up top! He's looking for the frog splash, but Ziggler runs up!! Christian knocks him down with a right. Vickie distracts. Dolph looks up and Christian hops over him, landing feet first, right on the ankle! Dolph with a Zig Zag!! Pin for 1....2....3!!!
Winner: Dolph Ziggler (***)
Great match. Probably should have had more time to make it a bit more significant.
Dolph says "About damned time" as he leaves the ring. He's backing up the ramp, back first, and there's Sheamus to greet him! They jib jab a bit as Dolph stares at the title, all smiles.
Backstage, Natalya is asking Vince if she could have the whole HART family over again. Vince says they'll talk about it later. She says she'll wait right here for it. Vince doesn't look interested. He makes the walk, and here's the Funkadactyls. They press their booty inhto Vince and want him to override the decision to ban Brodus from RAW. They both throw a lil fit, then say that they hear that Vince knows how to get funky....Vince then says "Somebody Call My Momma" the lights go out, and the two girls get down and dirty with ol man Vince. This goes on long enough for Vince to cross his arms, look at the screen, and run into.....Zack Ryder. McMahon gives him a WOO WOO WOO YOu Know It then walks off.
Cue the Goldberg chants.
Match 4: Ryback vs. William Fillmore and Rutherford PS Hayes
J1 runs riight into a powerslam, make that two powerslams. J2 decides to leave... (Continues on next page)