Event: WWE Monday Night RAW
Airdate: Monday, July 9th, 2012 (USA Network)
Location: The Pepsi Center in Denver, Colorado
Results by Tony Acero
“Yes, sir, we promised you a great main event…”
Cue the intense music as we get a video package of the lovely and beautiful AJ coming down to the ring last week to push Punk off a table, sending he and Bryan into a table. Ooo, that girl is several Skittles low, and I loves it! This is followed up with Punk's proclamation of her needing professional help, and ending with the lip locking of both Bryan and Punk. With AJ toying with both men, intrigue is at an all time high, and if it's not, let's just pretend it is for the sake of the awesome video package.
RAW officially begins after, and AJ's music is up first! YES! YES! YES! That was me saying it, but shortly after the crowd joins in. AJ says that this Sunday, in the WWE Championship match, she will be the special guest referee. She realizes that her actions can greatly effect the outcome of the match. This is overwhelming for her, and very emotional. She wants to ask all of us to help her welcome WWE Champion, CM Punk. She says his name like a giddy lil school girl. Punk's music takes a second to hit, she feins anger, then smiles the minute his music hits. it's the little things, folks. It's the little things.
CM Punk makes his way out and has his hands on his hips. Punk gets to the ring and wants to know what AJ wants. AJ says that last Friday on Smackdown, Punk showed his true feelings when he called her mentally unstable and that she needed professional help. She doesn't. She is in full control of all of her mental faculties at all times. But...Punk's sentiment for her. A nice little chant, and I think they're saying, "AJ's Crazy." AJ says that no one has ever cared about her, let alone show compassion and concern like Punk did. She scoots in a bit. She claims that when she kissed him, she knew it. Ah geez. She knew what she had to do. She says his eyes, then smiles. The crowd boos as Punk looks flustered. AJ says his eyes send love straight into her heart. She says he fills her up with passion and desire. Oh dear. Punk is no-selling the love blows, yo. AJ says Punk turns her on. The smile is gone, and she's got that "Do me right" look. She knows what she must do now, and backs away, lookin all apprehensive and stuff. She's going to propose!!! Ahahahaha....
The crowd says, "Just Say No!" Thankfully, someone is listening, because out comes Daniel Bryan shouting NO! He tells AJ that Punk doesn't love her and doesn't want to be with her. Bryan says he has never stopped having feelings for her. He claims Punk only cares about one person, and that's CM Punk. Punk tells him to shut his mouth, because he doesn't know how he really feels about AJ. Bryan then tells Punk to go ahead and say it...say "I do." Punk says nothing. Bryan claims that Punk sees her as a special referee...he sees her as a special person. He claims that this morning when he woke up, he had no intention of stopping a proposal...he intended to make one. Bryan gets down on one knee. AJ is muy confused. Bryan, "AJ, will you marry me?"
Punk is stoppin the nonsense, though. He calls it a load of crap. He doesn't believe that Bryan woke up to propose. Punk asks for the ring. Bryan claims it's in the back. Punk tells her to go in the back with him and chat about all this. Bryan tells Punk not to talk about his future wife that way. They are ALL interrupted by...
Can I have your attention, PLease!
The Anonymous RAW GM is back!! Cole is up, and ready to read with his specs!!! And he quotes! Surprise, I'm back and I'm running RAW tonight. Anon GM says CM Punk and AJ make a great couple, which is why they will be in a mixed tag match against Eve and Daniel Bryan. Bryan objects. Anon says he wishes all of them good luck. AJ is on the mic, she claims this is all really confusing. She knows this all caught Punk by surprise, and Bryan's caught her by surprise. She says they all need some time to think. She's happy about this match tonight, because she believes that everything happens for a reason, and she has a feeling she's going to walk out of the arena with her future husband...
I'M ON MY WAY, AJ!!!
Match 1: Sheamus vs. Jack Swagger
Go behindfrom Swagger to start, and he takes Sheamus down. Both men up in the same position and Sheamus back elbows out. He has Swagger set up in the corner, then lifts him up and over for White Noise! Sheamus in the corner, and he's calling for the Borgue Kick. Looks like Swagger isn't going to last long at all. Sheamus hits it. Pin for 1...2...3!
Winner: Sheamus (NR)
After the match, we see Alberto Del Rio honking his horn on the screen. He claims that Sheamus did great, but he is not Swagger. No one is Del Rio. He says he is going to take the World Heavyweight Championship this Sunday. Del Rio hops in his car and drives away. Then it blows up! I'm kidding. Sheamus turns around to Brogue Kick Jack Swagger one more time. Oh come on, was that necessary?
Backstage, Santino Marella is congratulating Zack Ryder for being the GM for Smackdown. Ryder, says he's going to be much more entertaining than the Anonymous GM. Santino claims he will find out who the Anon GM is tonight! He pulls out his Sherlock Holmes hat and begins looking for clues.
We come back to the news that The Rock will be back LIVE for the 1000th Episode of RAW. Out of nowhere, a freakin bell rings and we have a match already beginning in the match. Looks like Dolph and Tensai are taking on Christian and Kidd.
Match 2: Dolph Ziggler and Tensai vs. Christian and Tyson Kidd
Dolph sends Tyson to the corner with some stomps, then drops an elbow. Dolph lifts Kidd, and Kidd reverses and drops Dolph. Quick tag to Christian. Christian with a hard right then a flapjack. Christian is up and flies with a spinning uppercut from the middle rope. Dolph hits... (Continues on next page)