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John Cena
John Felix Anthony Cena
  • Birthdate: 04/23/1977 (age 37)
  • Height: 6'1"
  • Weight: 251 Ib

Cena is known as "the face of the WWE for a lon...

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...for the Figure Four. WOO! Dolph kicks him outside though, and distracts the ref as Langston rams Miz into the ring apron. Dolph rolls him into the ring for a two count as we go to commercial...

~Commercial Break~

Dolph with a rear naked choke locked in on Miz. He fights out, and counters a Ziggler neckbreaker into a backslide for two. Dolph with a roll-up for two. Miz kicks out, then boots Ziggler in the face for a near-fall. Miz with some hard rights, then hits his corner clothesline splash, goes up top, and hits the axe handle for a near fall. SCF attempt, Ziggler rolls though, but Miz reverses with the tights. Miz's neckbreaker is reversed, but Miz counters into the Figure Four! AJ distracts as Langston pulls both Miz AND Ziggler to the ropes! Ref breaks it up, Miz goes for the Figure Four, but Ziggler kicks him to the ropes. Miz avoids Langston, but Ziggler hits the Zig Zag for three and sets the pace!

Winner: Dolph Ziggler

Time: 10:56

~Commercial Break~

-WWE's "Slam of the Week" is Dr. Shelby finding his "happy place" with Kane and Daniel last week.

-Dr. MARION Shelby in the ring, decked in cap and gown, and is proud to introduce the graduates of his Anger Management TEAM HELL NO! Daniel looking slick, literally, with his hair smoothed back. Both are decked in graduation gowns as well. Shelby mentions how far they've come, Kane from being a maniacal monster who hurt instead of hugged, and Daniel, who was a tightly wound man-child who'd snap whenever someone mentioned his goat face or his beard. Shelby gives them their caps and feels the man who's most improved should speak. Both feel that the other "is the VALEDICTORIAN!" Kane and Bryan go back and forth before Marion shouts them down, which gets a "Dr. Shelby" chant going! He asks if a hug would help both men, and they grudgingly agree, then asks if everyone should hug. Kane asks if Cole and Lawler should hug. Cole's into it, and Lawler reluctantly follows suit. Dr. Lawson and Justin Roberst hug, and then Shelby, Kane, and Bryan go nuts getting people in the crowd to hug. It's a crowd-wide hug-off as the graduates embrace Shelby in the ring. Wow, that was nuts!

~Commercial Break~

-We recap Kaitlyn outwitting Eve to win the Divas Championship last Monday, and Eve rage-quitting shortly thereafter.

-Back in the Shark Tank, Alicia Fox ready for action!

Non-Title Match: Divas Champion Kaitlyn vs. Alicia Fox

Alicia starts out with a kick to the midsection and rams Kaitlyn into the turnbuckle. Kaitlyn comes back and flings Alicia to the outside. Kaitlyn with some hard rights to Alicia. Alicia with a pair of hair pulls, misses the axe kick, but gets a clothesline for two. Alicia locks in a rear naked choke. Kaitlyn snapmares out, but gets an elbow to the corner. Alicia misses a corner kick, and Kaitlyn hits a spear for three!

Winner: Kaitlyn

-Heyman escorts Punk to a luxury suite he bought on his own dime becuase he wants the champ to see the "Paul" bomb, a tribute to Punk, he has for the Rock in the ring.

~Commercial Break~

-Heyman says he serves as Punk's advisor, confidant, friend, and strategist. He understands that someone as intelligent as Punk would have their words go over us. He decides to act as a "translator", saying it's a forgone conclusion that Punk will win because Vince is desperate to have anyone else as champion, and his "flavor of the month" happens to be the Rock. The Rock, like us, is stupid to think...IF YOU SMELLLLLL!!! The Rock is out, and he's got a ticket!

-Rock salutes the San Jose Police Department for the ticket, and plans to smack Heyman's lips off his face if he doesn't leave. Heyman obliges, and Rock looks up at Punk in the suite. Rock says the 428 days Punk has held the title makes him great, and he's been focused on the Rock's relation with the people, and obsessed with respect. Rock guarantees that if they stepped outside, he'd rip Punk's face off. Rock, like Martin Luther King, has a dream to climb the mountaintop, and when he wins the WWE Title, the people will be free at last, god almighty, they'll be free at last...

-THE LIGHTS GO OUT! IT'S THE SHIELD! Rollins, Reigns, and Ambrose beat down Rock, who tries to fight back, but gets taken down by the ankles and roughhoused some more before they lay out the Great One with the triple powerbomb. As the Shield bails, Punk calls down to the Rock, saying there is only room