CM PunkPhillip Jack Brooks
- Birthdate: 10/26/1978 (age 38)
- Height: 6'2"
- Weight: 218 Ib
He was titled in the WWE as "the longest-reigni...
Airdate: Monday, January 7th, 2013 (USA Network)
Location: The Tampa Bay Times Forum in Tampa, FL.
Results by Ken Hill
“Yes, sir, we promised you a great main event…”
-The opening definitely-not-TNA narrated recap reminds us of the Rock's announcement of facing the WWE Champion at the 2013 Royal Rumble, the drama with Punk's knee and facing his seeming doom in the form of Ryback for his WWE Championship in a Tables, Ladders & Chairs match.
-Cena out first, and we're shown his "hilarious" craptastic end to 2012 including Dolph and AJ. It's a special night for everyone, with a TLC match for the WWE Title, and the "electric" feel in the air, the need for boots to be put to asses. Cena's awfully excited about the Great One for someone who done f'ed up at Wrestlemania against him. Before he can
-Dolph, AJ, and Big E out now. He says Cena and Rock may be here, but it's about the hottest superstar, i.e. Ziggler. AJ on the mic now, and calls Cena immature, pathetic, and a "small man." Cena laughs it off and even gets people doing the wave over AJ's "historic" first joke of a lack of manhood. Ziggler tries to break that up, telling Cena he just hides and jokes whenever he loses, hoping the victor will go away, but Dolph isn't. He officially announces his entry into the Royal Rumble. He tells to Cena to "cut the crap", but Cena says he already did that last week.
-They go back and forth, before Cena says the time to talk is over, let's fight. Big E on the mic for the first time and reminds Cena that Dolph isn't Cena's only problem, accepts the fight for Dolph, and that the fight is on!
A hip toss and arm drag by Cena to start. Ziggler pushes him to the corner and delivers some rights. More shots to Cena's gut and a hard whip to the corner. ANother right, and Ziggler sets Cena up in the corner for some more rights. Ziggler showing off with some sit-ups, but Cena with a roll-up for two. A bulldog gets another two count. Front headlock into a stalling vertical suplex by Cena for two. Cena telegraphs a back body drop and Dolph kicks him HARD. Stinger splash on Cena for a two count. Show-off elbow gets a two count. Cena blocks a dropkick and catapults Ziggler into the corner, and goes after him with rights before the ref breaks them up. Ziggler distracts the ref and Langston delivers a right to Cena as we go to commercial
Ziggler with Cena in a rear chinlock, then going into a nice handstand into a reverse hold. Cena powers out. AJ up on the apron, but John tries to ignore her, only to get drilled with a Holly-like dropkick for a near fall. AJ up on the apron to slap Cena, but the ref's had enough and gives her and Langston the boot. Cena tries for the five moves, but the Shuffle is countered by Ziggler into the Famouser for another near fall. Cena with the spin-out slam and the shuffle, but the AA is countered...Zig Zag! 1...2...Thr-KICKOUT! Wow! Another AA attempt, Doplh slips out...jumping DDT! Another near fall! Cena rolls through on a cross body, AA attempt #3...Dolph lands on his feet! Superkick! 1...2...THR-KICKOUT! Oh man! The two starting trading big rights Cena misses, Dolph locks in the sleeper hold. It's in...Cena flings Dolph into the ref. STF is locked in! Langston out, waylays Cena and hits the Big Ending! He puts Dolph on top of Cena, a ref is out...1...2...Thr-KICKOUT! Dolph rushes at Cena, is caught, AA, three count. "What a way to start 2013!" A Super Cena win...same as it ever was, same as it ever was.
Winner: John Cena
Divas Championship: Eve Torres (c) vs. Kaitlyn
Lock up by the two divas. Eve with a headlock takeover for a one count. Kaitlyn counters into a head scissors. Eve floats out, cinches in a leg lock, then works on Kaitlyn's ankle. CONTINUITY! RING PSYCHOLOGY! Kaitlyn stops because the ref tells her to tie her boots and Eve takes advantage with a boot to Kaitlyn's head. Sleeper hold in the corner by Eve. Eve with a reverse headlock, but Kaitlyn counters into a big sidewalk slam for two. A big reverse DDT get another near fall. Back body...