CM PunkPhillip Jack Brooks
- Birthdate: 10/26/1978 (age 36)
- Height: 6'2"
- Weight: 218 Ib
He was titled in the WWE as "the longest-reigni...
Miz limps his way down to the ring.
He tries to start an offensive, but I mean, it’s Kane. Kane just kicks him down. And then smacks him down. Miz lands a couple of kicks and a flying clothesline, and then tries a leap off the top rope. Kane catches him and chokeslams him and yeah, I called that.
Kane gets a mic and calls out Stephanie McMahon. She walks out to the top of the ramp and no further. Kane tells her she’s abused her authority and ruined lives. Is he sticking up for Daniel Bryan. That would be cute. Oh, no he’s not, because he just used the “But it’s best for business” line, and says the monster is hers to unleash.
He walks up the ramp towards her, gives her his mask, and walks away. She holds it victoriously aloft.
But whatever, because here’s CM freaking Punk.
Punk says he slept like a baby last night, because he finally got Paul Heyman. He is ridiculously over, holy crap.
Now the only thing he has left to deal with is Ryback. He says he promised he would put an end to Heyman, and he did. He now promises that now he will defeat Ryback.
And now the results… the stipulation for the Punk/Ryback match is…. Street Fight. Punk looks very excited.
Oof, Ryback right out the gate with a charge and some brutal elbows while Punk’s stuck in the corner. Punk manages to get out and land a crossbody, but it doesn’t keep him down. He throws Ryback out of the ring and jumps on him, but Ryback catches him and stomps him all over the place.
Ryback goes under the ring and pulls out a big folding table. He puts it in the ring. He reaches for Punk but Punk has a kendo stick and smacks him a good few times, at least until Ryback knocks the wind out of him and he sprawls on the mat. Ryback charges him but Punk grabs him in a neckbreaker.
Punk goes for the table and sets it up while Ryback lurches to his feet. Ryback gets Punk on his shoulders and throws him into the turnbuckle. He prop Punk on the turnbuckle and starts setting up for a superplex but Punk fights back. Punk jumps off but Ryback catches him and almost throws him through the table, but Punk kicks his head and puts him on the table. Punk gets up on the turnbuckle again and elbows him through the table. He gets the knocked-down Ryback in the Anaconda Vise and although Ryback struggles, he eventually taps out.
Suddenly, the Wyatt family… again.
Punk crouches in the ring and waits. The lights go back on and he gets the kendo stick and tries to fight them off. Harper and Rowan beat the heck out of him while Bray watches calmly from the rocking chair.
They lay him flat and Bray comes in to join the brawl. Punk is bleeding from his forehead. He headbutts Bray but Harper clotheslines his head nearly off his shoulders and he’s flat down again. Bray gets him and does his DDT thing on him. He says again, “The devil made me do it.”
Goldust and Cesaro start it off. Goldust seems to have the advantage, throwing the incredibly tall Cesaro around the ring like it ain’t nothin’. Cesaro has enough and tags in Swagger, who does not fare particularly better. He manages to get Goldust in the corner and tags in Cesaro.
Goldust tags in Cody and Cesaro is still not doing very well. He kicks Cody and tries to get out of the corner but Cody just kicks him down. Zeb Colter calls encouragement from ringside. Cody drops Cesaro and tags Goldust back in, does the same thing. Cesaro makes a desperate tag for Swagger. He is rapidly clotheslined out of the ring by Cody. Cesaro, Colter and Swagger regroup outside of the ring.
Back from commercial to see Swagger and Cody, with Swagger actually dominating the ring. He tags in Cesaro, who lands a nice suplex. He tags Swagger back in who continues beating Cody and holding him away from Goldust. He slams Cody into the corner. Swagger lands the Swaggerbomb and Cesaro tags himself in. Cesaro jumps off Swagger and lands a dropkick into Cody’s side before transitioning into a headlock.
Cody pulls himself up but Cesaro lands this crazy move where he throws Cody