Event: WWE Monday Night RAW
Airdate: Monday, December 19th, 2011 (USA Network)
Location: The Wells Fargo Center in Philadelphia, PA
Results by Tony Acero
“Yes, sir, we promised you a great main event…”
We begin with a Drum Roll and CM Punk introducing us! He claims that on behalf of the WWE VP, he is proud to announce the results of TLC! First up, in the Triple Threat TLC match, was the winner…Del Rio? The Miz? Or was it the BEST wrestler in the world? And the winner was….his entrance music hits and out comes Punk!!!
So, much to the chagrin of ol clown shoes himself, and despite the fact that there were bodies, tables, ladders and Ricardo Rodriguez’s, CM Punk managed to retain HIS WWE Title. He wants to bring up another match from last night. The United States Championship match. Who was the winner of said match? The lights go out and the drum roll returns. Was it Mr. Ziggles, or was it…Zack Ryder?! And the winner was…Zack Ryder!! His music hits and out ocmes the NNEEEWWWW WWE United States Champion!!!
Punk now wants to save the biggest for last. Last night, there was a chairs match between two heavyweight monsters for the WORLD Heavyweight Championship? So who won this contest? Was it…Mark Henry? Was it…The Big Show? Well, it was The Big Show…but then the unthinkable happened…Daniel Bryan!! The music of the new World Heavyweight Champion hits and out he comes.
The Internet is a happy place right now.
Punk feels if there’s any city that would appreciate this scene right here, it would be Philly. We get an ECW chant. Punks says this really trips him out because who ever would have thought that Punk and Bryan who met 10 years ago at the Murphy Rec Center would be standing in a WWE ring as the WWE and World Heavyweight Champion? And of course, taking nothing away from Zack Ryder. WOO WOO WOO. Punk calls this crazy! Punk says tonight, this isn’t about Punk, it’s about Bryan and Ryder. They started at the bottom and worked their way up. They eat and sleep wrestling. He has watched them break their backs for us and we have brought them up to this level. he has nothing to say anymore, he wants to hear from the NEW champions.
Ryder can’t believe it. He called his dad to confirm it and his dad replied, “WOO WOO WOO! You know it!” Bryan with the microphone. The belt looks good on him. Punk says that people never expected him to be the WWE Champion, but people never even expected him to be here. Cole says stuff, it’s not important. He says he is here and he’s a champion. The Miz is at the top of the ramp…here comes Dolph Ziggler, Alberto Del Rio. All three men are heading their way down the ramp with super angry faces. The circle (triangle?) the ring. Dolph goes first but Ryder sends him out. Same goes for Miz and Del Rio! The heels talk amongst themselves on the outside and Ryder says F this and hops over the ropes onto Ziggler! Del Rio and Miz send Ryder to the steps then run up the ramp. Punk and Bryan follow and here comes Johnny Ace to break it up. He says he gave everyone an opportunity and while some were successful and some were not, and being the creative man that he is, he has decided on tonight’s main event. The Miz, Dolph and Del Rio vs. Bryan, Ryder and CM Punk. This, apparently, is his Christmas present to us.
Match 1: Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett
Barrett starts with a kick then drops an elbow. Barrett is hard on the offense as he stomps Orton in the corner. Wade with a whip to the corner but Orton ihts a clothesline then a few uppercuts. Orton with the elvetated fists. The crowd counts along to 6 but Wade pulls Orton’s leg out from him, knockin him on the trurnbuckle. Orton with a dropkick then a pin for 1…2..NOP! Orton rubs the shin against Wade’s forehead and Wade slips out of the ring. Orton follows and tries to toss him in the ring, but Barrett with a mule kick. Barrett sets up for a suplex but instead sends ribs first into the barricade. Wade rolls back into the ring to break the count.
We come back with Orton running right into Wade’s boot in the corner. Wade gets Orton onto the ropes then big boots him out of the ring. Wade goes outside and shoves Orton kidney first into the apron then tosses him back in the ring for a cover. 1…2..NO! Wade from behind with a cravat but orton tries to fight out of it. Orton goes for a hit, but Wade goes for the mule kick again, but Orton reverses that! Sends him to the ropes! Scoop slam! Orton goes for the rope assisted DDT but Barrett reverses and sets up for WaSTELAND. oorton floats out and kicks then sets up the DDT and hits it this time! Wade goes for a thumb to the eye like last month, but the ref catches it and calls for the DQ.
Winner: Randy Orton via DQ (**1/2)
Wade clotheslines Orton and starts with the rights. Wade with a Side Slam, which Barrett now calls the Winds of Change, according to Cole. Wade goes out of the ring and grabs a table! Orton tries to get up so Wade just big boots his ass. haha. Wade sets the table up and picks up Orton for the Wasteland. Wade hits it onto Orton!
We get a few pics from the Triple H and Kevin Nash match.
The Slam of the Week is when Kelly slapped Beth which, I guess, has re-motivated her? At least, that’s what they allude to.
Match 2: Alicia Fox vs. Beth Phoenix
Lockup to start and Beth works the left arm. Alicia uses a high leg to break the hold then hits some kicks obly for Beth to hit a nice sidewalk slam to Alicia. Beth with a suplex, using the ropes but Alicia bounces over and botches a move before making up for it and hitting a reverse DDT then an ugly ass leg drop for the 1…2…3!!
Winner: Alicia Fox (1/2*)
Alicia gets on the mic and wishes us all a FOXY holiday. Alrighty then.
In other news, the lights just went out for the second time in the 49ers/Steelers game.
So Ted DiBiase effectively ends the feud with Jinder on a high note and Mahal is the one presumably getting the push? This is interesting…and by interesting, I mean the exact opposite. Jinder comes out, this time with a turban, and cuts a mini promo.
Match 3: Sheamus vs. Jinder Mahal
Go behind by Jinder but Sheamus with an arm drag. Jinder with some rights and goes for a move but Sheamus reverses and gets the upperhand. Jinder kicks Sheamus in the face then the knee then to the ground before hitting a high knee. Pin for 1. Jinder from behind with a crossface into a cravat. Sheamus is out of it with an elbow then a few axe handles before hitting a clothesline in the corner and a hard one sending Jinder to the mat. Sheamus goes up top and hops off the turnbuckle, but Jinder rolls away. Sheamus is too quick though and hits the backbreaker then calls for the Celtic Cross. Here it comes! Pin! 1…2…3!!
Winner: Sheamus (**)
We are back, with the WWE Rewind showing the return of Kane and his Wes Craven’s New Nightmare mask!
Cena’s music hits and out comes the man that rises above stuff. Cena’s collar for his shirt is ripped…if he Hulk Hogans this sheeut, Imma throw a shoe. Cena says that what he is about to say is shocking. Apparently there are people out there that don’t like him. He claims that he can get under some people’s skin, he guesses. The crowd boos for the most part. He brings up The Rock and says that he sees him and is ready for April 1st. He can understand why The Rock doesn’t like Cena (or really?). What he doesn’t understand is that there is a monster on the loose and this monster chokeslammed him to hell. This monster strikes fear in every man so he would like to think that he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, but if he wasn’t then he is here to face his fears. He says that if last week was an accident, then he will let bygones be bygones. But if last week was no accident, then they have business and we should handle it.
Before Kane can reply, however, Mark Henry comes out to the top of the ramp. Henry says that the business Cena needs to be concerned about is the fact that last week, Henry had him laying in the middle of the ring and if it weren’t for Kane, Cena would be the newest member of the Hall of Pain. What you’re doin Cena, is a monologue, full of jokes. The crowd chants Sexual Chocolate. haha. Henry says he’s not in the mood for jokes. He lost his world title last night and that’s what he’s out here to do. He’s out here to address his injuries and why he lost. So, if he was Cena, he’d kick rocks and get to steppin cuz he’s all the business that Cena needs to be worrying about. Cena gets on the D but Kane’s fire goes cray cray and his music hits. Out comes the Big Red Machine!! Henry rolls out of the ring as Kane makes his way down the ramp. Kane circles the ramp and makes his way towards henry. He’s got both masks on. Henry says that he is hurt right now as Kane stalks him. Kane turns his head to Cena. Kane makes his way towards the ring apron, takes off his mask , and gets into the ring. Cena is on the attack! He clotheslines him over the ropes but Kane lands on his feet and tosses Cena over the announce table. He hits Cena with a few rights then hits an uppercut. Kane presses on the face of Cena atop the announce table. It’s more muzzle, less mandible claw. Cena’s bleeding from the mouth. Nice. Kane rips the shirt of Cena (well, at least there was no Hulk tear) and takes it with him up the ramp.
Match 3: The Usos vs. Epico and Primo (w/Rosa Mendes)
I should be clear about my adoration of Rosa Mendes…her face is subpar but that damned body….
Anyways, we start with Jimmy hitting a backbreaker and tagging in his partener for an axe to the gut. Jey sends Primo to the corner but Primo hops off with a dropkick after Epico distracts. Tag to Epico and he goes to work on Jey. Tag again and Primo with some stomps. Primo with left hand then a kick to the gut, followed by a leg sweep. Primo tags in Epico then suplex Epico from the outside onto Jey! Rosa, is annoyingly speaking Spanish from the outside (in a good way) as Epico crunches the head of Jey. Drop toe hold but Jey gets out of it and tags in Jimmy. Jimmy comes in with a clothesline then hits Primo off the corner and hits something (I looked down, sorry) before hitting a butt splash in the corner. Pin for 1…2..Primo interrupts! Jey is in and gets sent right out by Primo pulling fown the ropes! Jimmy with a superkick to Primo but Epico is there to hit a backbreaker and a pin for 1…2..3!!!
Winners:Epico and Primo (**)
Epico and Primo continue to enhance the tag team division a bit and it’s only a matter of time before they get another shot. Rosa continues to be a nuisance, but a welcomed one.
In the back, Josh Mathews is here with Cody Rhodes. How does it feel to beat Booker. Cody calls the previous commercial with Santino ridiculous. Just as ridiculous as Booker T defeating him. If anyone were to actually look into a crystal ball, they’d see Rhodes—-here is Santino with a basket and calls Cody, Koby. Cody says he doesn’t want the present. Santino says you’re right, you don’t want it because it’s….A CHRISTMAS COBRA!!! haha.
Match 5: Cody Rhodes vs. Santino
Santino does his typical phantom punches and leg sweep before Cody sends him to the corner and works the arm a bit. Cody stomps Santino a bit before slamming the right arm on the mat. Cody stomps the arm. Santino is up, and Cody misses a clothesline due to splits. Arm drag. Santino ducks and goes for the Cobra but Cody Rhodes hits an Alabama Slam and pins for the 1…2..3!! He wins with the Slam, ey?
Winner: Cody Rhodes (**)
I guess that was fun.
There is a replay of the end of the Tribute to the Troops and a video package.
In the back, The Bellas are arguing with each other over stupid shit while Johnn Ace and David Otunga watch. They say that they are not floozies and don’t appreciate the way Teddy talked to them last night. Ace interrupts their fight and says that the board is watching Teddy, but in the mean time he’d like to wish both of them a very Merry Christmas. They give him a kiss on the cheek. Vickie Guerrero comes in and says he wants a rematch, NO! Hornswoggle is there, too and he is holding mistletoe. Ke lays one on Vickie as she screams…loudly.
Mathews is in the back with The Big Show. Mathews wants to know his state of mind after last night. Show had it. He had it in his hands. Nine years for that moment and it’s gone in seconds. Three seonds took away what took him nine years. He was rendered speechless when it happened. He claims it’s his fault. He encouraged Daniel to not wait till Mania and to cash the briefcase. But at TLC, he did it to him. He gives the little guy credit and that’s….Mathews says Show is nice, but he’s not that nice right? He says that Show has the shortest Championship reign in history. Show gives him the ol evil eye as Show works out the anger in his neck. He says he’s ok, but the Giant looks muy angry.
Del RIo’s entrance is cut short as the new video that is above is played for the masses. Ryder, Daniel Bryan and CM Punk all come from the crowd.
Match 5: The Miz, Dolph Ziggler and Alberto Del Rio vs. Zack Ryder, Daniel Bryan and CM Punk
The Miz and Punk to start. Lock up into a sideheadlock from Punk. Miz sends him to the ropes and Punk covers for 1. Arm drag by Punk and he holds onto it. He wretches the arm behind and tags in Bryan. A double leap frog and a dropkick by Bryan then Miz tags in Dolph. Dolph runs in and Bryan goes for the double leg stomp thing. Tag to Ryder and we get a double arm drag. Del Rio runs into the ring and is sent out through the middle rope. So, too is Miz! Bryan….what the hell was that? He stops on the apron. Ryder flies over and Bryan hits a flying knee then Punk flies off the apron onto the men on the outside and we get a commercial break…
We are back LIVE and Daniel Bryan is hitting a clothesline on Miz. He hits some hard kicks to Miz until Miz ducks and kicks the leg of Bryan then a DDT. Miz tags in Del RIo and Del Rio stomps Bryan into the corner. Del Rio with a dropkick to the back of the head of Bryan then tags in Dolph. Ziggler with a right. Dolph with a headlock from behind as Bryan tries to fight out of it. Elbows to Dolph from Bryan. Bryan hits the ropes then Dolph hits a clothesline and tags in The miz. Miz with a kick to the gut of Bryan. Miz hits the ropes and kicks Bryan right in the head and pins for 1…2..NO!! Miz gets a tag from Del Rio and Bryan hits a couple of uppercuts. Del RIo takes over though with a kick to the arm of Bryan. Del Rio with some kicks to the head of Bryan in the corner then he starts the attack on the left arm. Twilt a whirl backbreaker by Del Rio and a pin for 1…2..! Del Rio gets tagged by Dolph and Dolph starts with the rights. He sends Bryan to the corner and goes for a splash, but there’s Bryan to lift the boot up, sending it right to the jaw of Dolpy! Tag to Ryder and Ryder comes in with some clotheslines! Faceplant onto Dolph then he sets him up ino the corner and hits the Broski Boot! He clotheslines Del Rio and pushes Miz off the apron then gets attacked by Dolph! Dolph with a dropkick and a pin for 1…2..NO!!! Tag to Miz and Miz hits some knees before hitting a running knee and a pin for 1…2..NO!! Cravat from behind. Arm drag by Ryder but Miz sends Ryder to the corner then tags in Del Rio. Del Rio sends Ryder to the corner as well and goes for a splash. Ryder tosses him over the corner. Tag to Punk. Punk comes in and gives a body slam to Miz then goes up top…he calls for it! Elbow drop!!! It connexts and he pins! 1…2..NO!!! Anaconda Vice!!!! Oh, but here is Dolph to break it up! Ryder is near the ropes and pulls Ziggler out of the ring. Tag to Bryan! Bryan comes off the rtop rope with a dropkick to Del Rio! Punk is in with the Go To Sleep on the Miz but Del RIo sends him to the outside! Del Rio sends Bryan to the ring post shoulder first! Del Rio looks to go for the cross arm breaker but Bryan reverses it into the LaBell Lock and Del Rio taps!!!
Winners: Zack Ryder, Daniel Bryan and CM Punk
This was pretty bad ass, I think! A lot of action.
Credit: Tony Acero