Winners: The Miz & Kofi Kingston
-Once again, we hear about the upcoming street fight made by Santa Claus between Cena and Del Rio, and another "update" on Santa's condition.
-Back with Dolph and AJ, who "surprises" him with his MITB briefcase, and then REALLY surprises him (and me, rawwr) with her wearing his shirt and tight shorts.
-We AGAIN recap the Del Rio-Claus "incident" and once again, no ACTUAL update from Matt Striker. I know it's the X-Mas special, but is this really the storyline they're going with tonight? Really? REALLY?
-Brad Maddox out, we better not pout, better not cry, because Brad Maddox is comin' to RAW! If he wins his match, that is, which is NEXT!
Brad Maddox v. Great Khali
Oh yeah, DEFINITELY didn't see that one coming. Maddox is understandably upset, and slaps Khali. "YOU'RE NOT AN ELF!" Smart kid, that Maddox. Khali with a pair of stinging chest chops, then one that sends him out. Swoggle with a senton, but Maddox shrugs him off. He hangs up Khali and goes after the giant's leg. Khali swats him off with a chop, but Maddox with the dropkick to the knee. Maddox poses, but Khali kicks him off. Maddox up top, but Khali chops him, then some clotheslines, and a Punjabi Plunge sends Maddox packing.
Winner: Great Khali
-Post-match, Swoggle wishes Santa to get better and then Khali "treats" us to a Punjabi rendition of "Merry Christmas." RIVETING!
-THE CHAMP IS HERE...and so is Heyman, as he and Punk are apparently on their way to the ring.
-The WWE Champion CM Punk blesses us with his presence, crutches and all, as he and Heyman make their way to the ring. Punk clocks in at 400 days in the longest modern-day reign in history as WWE Champion.
-Punk mocks Khali's singing. In all seriousness, X-Mas has been ruined...Steelers chant abound, and Punk says even he, a Cubs fan, isn't stupid enough to cheer for a bunch of losers...but anyway, Punk laments how he is unable to compete. Ryback is the reason X-Mas is ruined, as Punk can't even walk thanks to him and Ryback has ruined every winter holiday. Does WWE suspend, fire, or even fine him? Nope, Ryback gets REWARDED with a championship match. MAYBE if it had been proven he worked with a Maddox or a Shield, but that's not the case, and Ryback is living a lie thinking he has a match with the Champ. His holidays are filled with rehab, while everyone else gets to pig out. Heyman buts in, saying we don't BOO him. Punk has been WWE Champion for 400 CON...SEC...UTIVE days, yet he has been the victim of a documented conspiracy in recent months. Ryback's had two chances to win the WWE Championship, and two times Ryback has failed. Punk says one legs or two, he's better than Ryback. Ryback storms down to prove Punk wrong. Heyman talks him down, and promises a lawsuit if Ryback lays a finger on him. Ryback already got his X-Mas wish, the match he and Punk were supposed to have a couple weeks ago, on the first Raw of 2013 for the WWE Championship: Tables, Ladders, and Chairs! "TLC, TLC, TLC!"
WWE Tag Team Champion Daniel Bryan v. Damien Sandow
"NO! NO! NO! HO! HO! HO!" "Silence! NO! Silence! NO!" Bryan goes for the NO! Lock early, but Sandow ducks out.